IT was while living in I― that I was brought to know the blessed reality of being saved by grace through faith.
I had been married about nine months, and, up till the autumn of 1884, my life had been One of carelessness, as to all that was good. Yea, I had oftentimes too plainly shown the bitter enmity of my heart towards the Lord Jesus Christ, and those who sought to live for Him. My wife had become as thoughtless as myself.
But we began to tire of this style of life, and decided that it would be more respectable to go to some place of worship. We tried many places, and at last settled down as regular attendants at a chapel, where in a few weeks we made ourselves quite comfortable amongst the members. My staunch teetotalism fitted in with the views of some, and, to secure my influence in the temperance cause, things which were of far greater importance were allowed to remain in the background. But though the members of that chapel did not deal faithfully with me, God proved Himself to be superior to all, and He brought me to know and to enjoy something far better than teetotalism.
It was one Lord’s Day evening that the work began. The service was an ordinary one. The preacher taking for his text, the first verse of the sixth chapter of Esther: “On that night could not the king sleep, and he commanded to bring the book of records of the chronicles; and they were read before the king.” The preacher dwelt much upon the happiness of those who could lie down to sleep with the sweet assurance that, whether they saw another day or not, they were sure of happiness with Christ. As he went on, I felt that, in spite of all I had attained to, by way of improvement, I had no part in this assurance, and I felt sad at this reflection, for I had hitherto counted myself as good as any. Then the preacher spoke of the awful condition of those who lay down to sleep unsaved, and I felt sure that such was my state, and that every night I lay down, it was with the guilt of a life of evil resting on my soul, for which if called to account, I should be condemned to eternal perdition. I remember nothing more of the sermon. All I could think of, was the sins I had committed. I felt that I was too bad for forgiveness. Hell seemed to be on every side of me, and underneath too, and no escape! Oh! the agony of mind I endured! Dear reader, have you ever felt the utter hopelessness of being in your sins before God, and no Saviour to flee to? I knew nothing of grace, and therefore could not believe that God would do anything with me, until He shut me up in hell. Oh! the darkness of the natural mind!
I was aroused from this reverie by the singing of a hymn. But I could not join in it, for my heart ached, and the burden was heavy upon my soul. I turned to my wife, to tell her that I intended going to speak to the preacher after the service was over, and, to my surprise, I found that she was in tears. The same arrow that had pierced my heart had pierced hers.
I went to the minister, but he seemed unable to help me, and all he said only confused me. He told me to believe, but how could I believe what I had not heard? He had preached of the happiness of God’s people and of the sad condition of the lost sinner, but had not shown the way of salvation: how God had come down to man, how He had been glorified in the work of Christ, and how He justifies freely by His grace all who believe in Him.
My wife and I went home under deep conviction. We decided to lead different lives for the future. We felt we ought to have family worship, so we searched out an old book of prayers, and I read them morning and night. But this gave us no rest, and the words did not half express what we felt to be the need of our souls. We therefore abandoned the book, and read the word of God instead. Gradually, as we read page after page of the sacred volume, the light began to dawn upon us.
We were led to hope that we might be forgiven, for the Bible proved God to be a very different Being from what we had imagined. The sweet story of the Samaritan woman drew our hearts to confide in His blessed Son, who could so gladly endure the weariness of His journey in order that He might bring life, light, and joy to a poor sinful heart. And very soon it was our great joy to know that He had come down here for the very purpose of saving us. Oh! what brightness there now seemed about everything! I could not keep from singing, for I was so happy. Nothing that we had done was our ground of hope, but what the Son of God had done, was the foundation of our hope and joy. “The Son of God, loved me, and gave Himself for me.”
And now having found such happiness in Jesus’ love, we were anxious for the salvation of a dear relation, who lived with us. For, though she was most strict in the observance of her religious duties, we felt sure that she was not saved. We continued to pray for her, and this is how the Lord answered our prayers.
We had moved from I —, and were living at H —, where the curate was a truly godly man, and through his preaching our dear aunt was brought to see that it was not by her works that she could be saved, but by grace through faith. God shewed her that salvation is a free gift; He offered it to her, and she took it, to is praise, and to her blessing.
Now, dear reader, what is your state before God? Are you as I was before God awakened me to a sense of my danger? If so, let me tell you that though you may go on in carelessness, yet you need forgiveness and eternal life. He is waiting to be gracious. Think what a solemn thing it is that God is offering free and full salvation to all, and yet such a hell-deserving sinner as you are, can go on in indifference. Oh! where will you spend eternity? Think of the pain which the holy Son of God endured on account of sin, and still you go on delighting in it.
Are you anxious? Let me pray you to look to Jesus. In Him you will learn what are God’s thoughts concerning you. You may, from a wrong impression, fear to approach God, but if you look unto Jesus, every fear will vanish. He has a smile for you, a loving invitation, and a hearty welcome. Just look away from self and sin, and you will find the Lord Jesus to be altogether lovely.
But if, my reader, you know Jesus as your Saviour, I would say to you, “Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.” G. G.