Chapter 2.13

Ephesians 5:21‑6:9  •  9 min. read  •  grade level: 10
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THE SUBMISSION AND OBEDIENCE OF THE HEAVENLY MAN IN HIS EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS
(Suggested Reading: Eph. 5:21-6:921Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 5Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; 6Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; 7With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: 8Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. 9And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. (Ephesians 5:21‑6:9))
The relationships to be considered in this chapter concern our practical life on earth. There are seven, but we have grouped them in this chapter because the Apostle addresses both sides of a relationship. The Christian may or may not be involved in one of these relationships at any given time but he must honor them. For example the relationship of husband and wife only applies if one is in the married state of employer and employee if working, etc.
The relationships involve submission and love obedience and light. Since God's nature is love and light this is what we are called on to display in submission and obedience. Submission means acknowledging and honoring these temporary earthly relationships obedience is to the will of God.
Submission and Love—the First Three Relationships
Relationships in the Christian circle. The first exhortation is "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ" 5:21. This fear is the dread of offending Christ our Head through lack of grace to those who are His members on earth. Paul learned Christ's love to His members on earth on the road to Damascus Acts 9:3, 53And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: (Acts 9:3)
5And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. (Acts 9:5)
. He wants us to apply it practically. If we do not submit ourselves to one another we have forgotten our common membership in the body of Christ and the love of Christ for His body 5:29. Our submission to one another in the fear of Christ is how the Church expresses its subjection to Christ 5:24.
Earlier, the Apostle had prayed for the Ephesians. Because they loved all the saints the Apostle continually gave thanks for them "making mention of you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him" 1:16,17. This earlier prayer had been answered. For the way in which the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God was seen among the Ephesians was in their submission to one another in the fear of Christ. They were not only conscious of their union with Christ, but of their membership of one another. As J.B. Stoney said "membership implies activity and life, responsibility to the Head, and care for the members."*1 It is because he is convinced that his earlier prayer has been answered that the Apostle encourages the Ephesians to give thanks always as he did to God and the Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ.”
The relationship between husbands and wives- The wife is to submit to her husband v.22, and respect and honor him v.33. This tests the wife if her husband is not her equal in natural or spiritual things. But the principle must be honored. Exceptions which seem to challenge the principle can never be made the rule. The husband is called on to love his wife. If he does this in the role God has given him head of the wife v.23 the marriage will be crowned with the blessing of the Lord. Paul insists on the headship of the man in marriage, comparing it to Christ being the Head of the Church. He adds what appears to be an extraneous thought in v.23 "and He is the Savior of the body." On the contrary this assures us of Christ's fervent love for us. We are not forgotten in a grave, should we die, or our loved ones. He will raise the body in power and glory, for He is the Savior of the body as well as of the soul. Having assured us of His love even in death, lest we question it like Martha and Mary John 11:2121Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. (John 11:21) and 32 The Apostle continues "therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." The natural man, who is all chaos, rejects this teaching as tyranny. But in Christian marriage no trace of that should show. Any tendency to it is checked by a commandment to husbands to love their wives. This is to be an overriding love, like the love of Christ for the Church.
Divine order is beautiful, as we perceive it intellectually but more beautiful when put into practice. One is viewing the beauty of a flower the other smelling its fragrance.
In writing of the relationship between husband and wife it is clear that Christian marriage is predominantly before the Apostle's mind. Needless to say these verses in Ephesians are read as frequently at Christian wedding ceremonies as the passage in John's gospel which tells us how Christ graced the wedding at Cana of Galilee with His presence. The institution of marriage antedates both Christianity and the law of Moses for it was God's provision for man as a creature from the beginning. But in Christianity there is no provision for divided affections. David and Solomon had many wives, but now that the light of Christianity has reached man the institution of marriage rests on the principle "husband of one wife" 1 Tim. 3:22A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; (1 Timothy 3:2); Titus 1:66If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. (Titus 1:6). This is the teaching here too. In the other earthly relationships covered in the Ephesian letter there are exhortations of great weight, but nothing as profound as this. Paul has deliberately intertwined the marriage relationship with the relationship of Christ and the Church, making the separation of the two subjects virtually impossible.
Obedience and Light—the Last Four Relationships
Obedience here is listening to and doing the will of God in two distinct relationships the family and the work-a-day world. The light is the light of God which is to be maintained in the Christian home. It is clearly spelled out as the spiritual education of our children. "The children of Israel had light in their dwellings" Ex. 10:2323They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days: but all the children of Israel had light in their dwellings. (Exodus 10:23). So with Timothy "from a child you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise unto salvation, through faith which is in Christ Jesus" 2 Tim. 3:1515And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:15).
.. The relationship between children and parents. Like marriage, out of which it flows, the relationship between children and parents antedates both Christianity and the law. Under the law these relationships were harsh. In Christianity grace rules. There is brevity in precept and mutual consideration in practice. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord 6:1. Christian children living in a pagan household must honor their parents. The only limits to their obedience would be if the parents infringed on the Lord's rights, say by demanding sacrifice to an idol. Then we ought to obey God rather than men Acts 5:2929Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. (Acts 5:29). Both father and mother are to be honored. The quotation from the Old Testament following this verse does not promise long life now for doing so but rather shows how highly God esteemed children who did so long ago. His ways did not change so the quotation is inserted to encourage children to please God by obeying their parents.
Fathers—Fathers are addressed next. Mothers have their role an important one covered elsewhere in Scripture. The reason the Apostle only addresses fathers here is that his subject is headship and authority, and the husband is the head of the wife 5:23. Fathers are given two admonitions one negative, one positive. They are not to abuse their authority over their children. Instead they are to "bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord." Over-discipline has been warned against necessary discipline is commanded the form of it left to the father's discretion. Admonition, on the other hand, is a mild reproof, the giving of warning, counsel, or reprimand. The principles only are laid down. If the father loves his child he will seek wisdom from the Lord to carry them out. The writer recalls with sadness the case of a Christian father who thought he loved his children but ignored this teaching. He wore himself out working day and night so each would have a superlative education. Now an old man he has no comfort, for his children are in the world.
Occupational relationships When Paul wrote the Ephesian letter the relative terms were slaves and slave-owners not servants and masters.*2 His letter to Philemon gives us a general picture of the social structure of the time. In the Roman Empire whole classes of professional people were slaves. Slavery or freedom hung on the fortunes of war and failure or success in business ventures. Depending on the age in which they lived slaves in the Empire might rise to positions of prominence and become rich or else be treated worse than animals. Paul's purpose in writing the Ephesian letter was not to reform the society of his times. He is concerned with the principles which are to guide the Christian in future generations during which society will assume ever changing forms. Scripture is a book of principles, and these do not vary although generations come and go establishing and overthrowing social forms to suit the needs of the age. The overriding principle here is the subjection of a subordinate person to the person who employs or supervises him not the social mold in which these relationships are cast. The society may be capitalist, socialist, or communist it may be agrarian or highly industrialized the employer may be harsh or benevolent, or even worse incompetent. None of these things are to sway our obedience to Scripture teaching. The same teaching applies to free men who do good 6:8 so that the scope of these verses cannot be restricted to slaves.
Obedience to the employer, whoever that may be, is the duty of the employee, servant or slave. But the work is to be performed as though Christ Himself were ordering it to be done. It is especially objectionable for a Christian to flatter his superior, be servile, or seek promotion using these or other devices of worldly men. God values uprightness of heart. Man doesn't. But the Christian isn't cheated. If he has been a good workman under adverse conditions, slighted by man, his reward is only deferred. "Whatsoever good thing any man does the same shall he receive from the Lord.”
The instructions to masters or employers are very brief. Basically Paul repeats his injunctions to servants or slaves. In other words they are to be upright too, seeking God's approval in their supervisory capacities, not fawning on their superior officers. The Christian employer has to report to a Master in heaven who gives him no special consideration as men do. If the employer is not a Christian he is still not absolved from answering to God for abuse for "the Head of every man is Christ" 1 Cor. 11:33But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3).
Application of these principles to everyday life. If men had followed the simple guidelines the Apostle established here, their societies would not have been plagued by the strikes, lockouts and lawlessness which have endlessly torn their fabric. Let us see that we, as believers, honor these principles in our lives, even if men brush them aside as worthless. They will have to account for their transgressions in the Day of Judgment. "The righteous shall have dominion over them in the morning" Psa. 49:1414Like sheep they are laid in the grave; death shall feed on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning; and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling. (Psalm 49:14).