“Often the clouds of deepest woe
So sweet a message bear,
Dark though they seem, we cannot
A frown of anger there.
“It needs our hearts be weaned from earth,
It needs that we be driven,
By loss of every earthly stay,
To seek our rent in heaven.
“Most loving is the hand that strikes,
However keen the smart,
If sorrow's discipline can chase
One evil from the heart.”
MRS. M—, one of Bessie's most esteemed friends, having written a full account of her feelings at this time, as she expressed them to her, I have thought it best to transcribe it nearly verbatim.
In the year 1838 Bessie was visited by an illness of a most painful and tedious nature. Many circumstances combined to render it a season of peculiar trial.
It was occasioned by a blow on the chest; received while playing with some little children, to whom she was fondly attached. And here we may notice what was very marked in her character. Though endowed with a mind of no common order, developed by high cultivation, and capable of the most enlarged and expansive thought on any subject, yet, in the hours of relaxation, her spirits were playfully buoyant and elastic. Without a spark of levity in any act or look, she could mingle most heartily in the merry infantine plays of children, and, making herself completely one with them, enjoy them as if she were herself a child.
It was on one of these occasions that she received, by accident, the injury referred to above; which, though considered at the time to be of little or no consequence, began shortly to assume a more serious character. Being then in London, the first surgical advice was sought for, when two of the most eminent men in their profession,
Sir Astley Cooper and Sir Philip Crampton, pronounced it as their opinion, that though possibly no serious mischief might be experienced for some years, yet that, according to all human calculation, she must expect it eventually to assume a more dangerous aspect, and that a perfect cure could only be effected by submitting to a painful operation.
To her ardent temperament suspense seemed more than she could bear. God had endowed her with much natural courage, and looking to Him for support, as the exigency of the hour should require, she decided, after some deliberation, on submitting to the operation, which was skillfully performed by the persons above named. It was, indeed, a trying hour; but she realized the presence of her heavenly Father, and, thus sustained, was strengthened to endure all with perfect calmness and composure. Sir Philip Crampton supported her in his arms, and said, "Lean against me, and you are as firm as a rock." She answered, “Oh, Sir Philip, if I were not leaning on the Rock of Ages, I could not go through what is before me!”
Whether her decision in this matter were according to the Lord's mind, or otherwise, is a point on which there will be, no doubt, much difference of judgment; and various were the opinions and advice given by her Christian friends on this occasion. By some it was suggested that, there being no immediate danger, "faith and patience" would be more manifested by her yielding herself entirely into the Lord's hands, and spending her present strength in His service, rather than by incurring the hazard of breaking her constitution, and thus crippling her powers of exertion, by submitting to the terrible ordeal which had been pronounced to be the only means of effecting a cure; considering, moreover, that her professional attendants did not conceal from her that in all probability her constitution would not rally for at least three years from the effect of such a shock. Others there were who thought it would be better, for the Peace and tranquility of her mind, that the removal of the evil should be at once effected.
Whether the one opinion or the other were more in accordance with God's mind may seem doubtful. One thing, however, is certain, that she acted according to her measure of faith, and that her judgment was, at least as to the result, overruled for infinite blessing to her soul. A short time previous to this illness she had become acquainted with some Christian friends who had set before her what she there considered to be an overdrawn and exaggerated view of the high standard of Christian holiness, and entire separateness to God, which should be the aim of every believer—nothing short of following Jesus in His "meek and lowly" walk, as a stranger and pilgrim upon earth, not only entering into the blessedness of that peace arising from the sense of being "redeemed... by the precious Blood of Christ" from the condemnation and guilt of sin—for such experience she fully enjoyed—but, more-over, as being redeemed from "this present evil world," with all its most attractive snares and illusions. This was a hard lesson for this dear young disciple to learn. Her warmth of imagination, tender natural affections, and unusual elasticity and buoyancy of spirits, rendered her, in a peculiar way, capable of enjoying every pleasant thing that crossed her path, every little green spot in the wilderness. God may give us such by the way, for "He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust," and He will sometimes allow the weary spirit of the pilgrim to be refreshed by occasional relaxations of His own providing, even as in the case of His people in the desert; but Israel would have made little progress towards the promised inheritance, had they lingered too long under the shady palm trees, and by the refreshing wells of Elim. This, perhaps, was Bessie's special temptation. It would be well if every believer, in professing to give up the world, were in truth to cease to expect anything from it. Let it be crucified to us, and let us hold everything connected with it loosely and tremblingly. Let us never be satisfied till we can say, "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him." Such an experience will never be attained by dwelling on the sacrifices that God expects us to make, as though He would take pleasure in depriving us of this or that blessing, and so leave us empty and comfortless. No, He rather says to us, "My child, give Me thy heart. My love is a jealous love, and desires a full response. Think of the blessed position into which I have put you, as risen with Christ, made to sit together, even now by faith and by the Spirit, in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, blessed with all spiritual blessings in Him, sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, the earnest of the inheritance. My word passed that that inheritance is yours; not now in possession, it is true, but the earnest thereof given to you. And will not such proofs of my love, my everlasting love, revive the languishing soul, confirm the feeble knees, lift up the weary spirit, and cast into the shade every earthly desire or expectation, which, if realized, would be found, sooner or later, only vanity and vexation of spirit?" The grave tells us the tale. As regards the child of earth, all doses when he has once entered there; in that very day all his thoughts perish; every thought, at least that is apart from God. His life-work may be brilliant: it may be useful in its place: it may even add to the world's comfort and prosperity: but when viewed in the light of heavenly things, is no more than glittering tinsel. It follows him not into eternity; it has had its day, it has accomplished its uses in time, and the grave has shut her mouth on it forever.
Such were the thoughts of this poor young sufferer, during the many solitary hours that she passed in her sick-chamber alone with God; for, feeling this affliction was rent to her in mercy, to teach her some lesson she had not yet learned, she requested that none might be admitted to see her except those who would speak to her of the things of God; as she wished to derive all the blessing and instruction which the Lord had in store for her. And now those same friends of whom she had so lately felt afraid, lest they should tear from her every little lingering hold that she still had on earthly things, were the very friends she most desired to visit her, and she derived lasting comfort from communion with those who ministered what they had themselves received in their own souls' experience, from intercourse with God, fresh from the fountain. How much more power and life are felt from words that flow from the lips of one whose soul is evidently in living communion "with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ," than from words, be they ever so good and correct, which come to us as a lesson learned, retained in the memory rather than in the heart.
Previous to this season she had surely been taught of God, and loved the Lord fervently; but now it seemed to her that every truth she had before learned had lain only on the surface, and that now the seed sown was taking deeper root, for it was a season of "receiving the Word in much affliction." She had now learned in earnest the lesson that God had been long teaching her, through the various troubles and disappointments that in a most marked manner had filled up her short career. So many prospects of earthly joy seemed at times to open to her view, just flitted before her path, and vanished as her hand appeared to grasp them. Now she had learned to calculate on nothing but His blessed presence, to live but for His glory, to give up body, soul, and spirit to His service; and from that period to the hour when her spirit was received into the presence of Jesus, such was all her salvation, all her desire. 2 Sam. 23:55Although my house be not so with God; yet he hath made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things, and sure: for this is all my salvation, and all my desire, although he make it not to grow. (2 Samuel 23:5).
The following lines were written by her as she was recovering: