Whenever the history of Absalom is considered, attention is often directed to his rebellious character, his conniving ways, and his utter lack of consideration for his father. All of this is true, and cannot be passed over. He was clearly not a man of God, but rather was bent on full revenge after his brother Amnon violated his sister Tamar. Then, after being invited to come home subsequent to the murder of Amnon, he once again did not hesitate to resort to violent means to get Joab’s attention (see 2 Sam. 14:28-33) and be allowed to see David’s face again. Finally, he “stole the hearts of the men of Israel” and then led a rebellion with a view to killing David and taking over the throne. All of this was most serious, and Absalom had to bear God’s judgment on him. We all know how that he was subsequently defeated in battle, then killed by Joab and buried under a heap of stones.
As we have said, all this is very solemn, but we are also reminded that “Every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Rom. 14:1212So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:12)). If Absalom as a son acted in a very wrong way, he must give account to God. However, David also acted wrongly with regard to Absalom, both as a father and as a king. He too must give account for this, and there are lessons in David’s conduct that speak to us today, especially to fathers.
The Beginning
We first read of Absalom in 2 Samuel 3:3, where we find that his mother was Maacah, the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur. Here is a bad start, for not only were kings of Israel not to multiply wives unto themselves (Deut. 17:1717Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold. (Deuteronomy 17:17)), but no Israelite was to marry a woman from another nation (Deut. 7:33Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. (Deuteronomy 7:3)), unless she were a captive taken in war (Deut. 21:10-1410When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, 11And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; 12Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; 13And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. 14And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her. (Deuteronomy 21:10‑14)). Thus Absalom was the product of an unlawful marriage, a mistake that had far-reaching consequences.
Absalom’s name surfaces again in the incident between Amnon and Tamar, Absalom’s full sister, but it is David’s conduct to which our attention is directed. When Amnon violated Tamar in a disgraceful way, we read merely that “when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth” (2 Sam. 13:21). No other action was taken, it seems, despite the awfulness of the sin. While this does not justify the fact that Absalom subsequently took matters into his own hands, yet there is serious failure here, in David’s responsibility. As a father, he was responsible for order in his own house; as a king, it was his duty to carry out righteous judgment in Israel.
The Lack of Settlement
Finally, when Joab’s craftiness succeeded in effecting Absalom’s return to Jerusalem after three years, nothing was settled, for David refused to allow Absalom to see his face. Another interaction occurred between Absalom and Joab, which resulted in Joab’s bringing Absalom to David, who kissed him. Again, nothing was settled. Absalom had been ready to receive punishment for what he had done — “If there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me” (2 Sam. 14:32). Obviously, he wanted “his day in court;” he wanted to state his case, and have a righteous judgment. But David merely kissed him, and avoided any real closure of the matter.
In all the interaction of Absalom with David and Joab, it is instructive to notice that Absalom continually refers to David as “the king;” at no time does he call him “my father.” Evidently there was a distance that was not bridged, and surely David must bear the brunt of the blame for this. David’s failure in no way palliates Absalom’s guilt, for in daring to lift up his hand against God’s rightful king, he suffers severe consequences.
The Final End
David takes the low place when the rebellion takes place, and the Lord steps in to protect him, and allows the good counsel of Ahithophel to be disregarded in favor of that of Hushai, who was on David’s side. The rebellion is put down, but Absalom is killed, and David’s lament over him is one of the most touching utterances in the Word of God. In it we see, on the one hand, the heart of a father for his son, and on the other hand, a lament for a set of circumstances that had occasioned the death of that son — circumstances for which David himself must take a large responsibility.
There is no need for further comment, for all this speaks to our own hearts in a way that words cannot describe. Furthermore, there were other consequences from Absalom’s life later on. In 1 Kings 15:2, we read of David’s great grandson, Abijah, that his mother’s name was Maachah, the daughter (probably granddaughter) of Abishalom (or Absalom). Absalom’s posterity continued to be a factor in the family of David, even several generations down the road.
W. J. Prost