In another article in this issue, we laid out some of the things that have been happening in this world in the last 50 or 60 years, and especially in the Western world, that threaten to destroy the family, and especially the Christian family. We showed how one by one, evil things have come in and affected our families so that the whole fabric of society has been undermined. So much for the sickness, but what about the remedy? Is there anything we can do to defend ourselves against this onslaught? I believe that there is.
First of all, let us all remember that only with the Lord’s help can we hope to defend ourselves against the strong influence of Satan in the world around us. David reminds us in Psalm 127 that “except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain” (Psa. 127:11<<A Song of degrees for Solomon.>> Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. (Psalm 127:1)). We cannot overcome this world in our own strength. However, there are some things for which God holds us responsible and things that we can do to fortify our families against the destruction that is rampant around us.
The Commandments of the Lord
In the law of Moses, God reminded the Israelites that they were to pay close attention to the commandments of the Lord. We read these words in Deuteronomy:
“These words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates” (Deut. 6:6-96And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6‑9)).
Clearly, the Word of God (in this case, the law of Moses) was to be woven into the fabric of every aspect of daily life — morning, evening, in business (upon thine hand), and in the mind (frontlets between thine eyes). The Word was not to be read simply as a duty or as a dry, lifeless thing. No, it was to be recognized as God’s Word, and it was to be lived out in every part of their lives.
It is the same today in the Christian home. The Word of God should be read as a family, and time taken to explain it, as much as the children in the family can understand at their age. More than this, the parents should take care to walk in the light of God’s Word, so that the children can see that it is not simply “religion,” but a living Word that guides our entire life. It is a fact that children generally want what they see their parents enjoying. Children must be brought up to realize that the Bible is written with all authority to us, from God, and that its wisdom is God’s wisdom for us.
Preserve the “Good Seed”
Parents must also take care not to allow influences in the home that will negate the effect of the Word of God. It does no good to read the Word of God if it becomes like the seed that fell by the wayside, in the parable of the sower. Since the soil was hard, the seed could not grow, and the birds were quick to come and take it. Those birds are like Satan, who is quick to take away from young minds that good seed that has been sown there. If we allow entities like television, movies, video games, Facebook, and other applications of the Internet to take a large place in our homes, then the good seed of God’s Word may quickly disappear from our children’s minds.
In saying this, I am not suggesting that these things are all bad and that we should never use them. But let us be very careful to control anything that has the potential to bring the world into our home. Let us be very careful to guard what our children are reading, looking at, or listening to. Equally important, let us guard what WE ourselves read, watch or listen to.
Be Aware of Their Circumstances
Another important defense against the ruin of our families is to ask children what they have learned at school. Let them feel free to tell us what they have been taught. For example, in many public schools today, sex education begins at a young age, when children are very impressionable. They may well be learning things that are contrary to the Bible. If this happens, it is important to correct this bad teaching by bringing before them the truth of God’s Word and explaining that “if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them” (Isa. 8:2020To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them. (Isaiah 8:20)). God’s Word must be the final authority. Some parents have gotten around this dilemma by homeschooling their children, as it is an option here in most of North America.
Another important defense for the Christian family is to eat together at least once a day. When children are young, often the father may have to leave home early in the morning, before the little ones are up and about. Then only the mother can eat with them and read God’s Word with them. But if it is at all possible, the family should have at least one meal together, when they can talk freely with one another, share problems they have encountered during the day, and enjoy one another’s company.
Self-Centeredness
Another good thing to do together is to look for ways to help others and to share the gospel with them. Many people in the world today are self-centered, for we live in a selfish world. Even we, as Christians, can be caught up in this outlook and spend all our time for ourselves. As Christians we should be Christ-centered, looking out for His interests and for the blessing of others. If we look around our neighborhood, we will surely see those who can use a little help and with whom we can share the gospel. The family that works together to bring others to Christ will not fall apart easily!
Provision for the Natural
Finally, remember that the Word of God says, “Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural, and afterward that which is spiritual” (1 Cor. 15:4646Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual. (1 Corinthians 15:46)). We must remember that our children need that which is natural. They need playtime and things that they can do to enjoy themselves — things which are appropriate for their age. God never takes something away from us without giving us something better. As Christian parents, we have a responsibility to provide that which our children can enjoy in a natural sense, yet enjoy them within the framework of what would please the Lord.
A few days ago I saw a small group of boys from Christian families playing in a small lake — swimming, sliding down a waterslide, and paddling around in kayaks. One of the boys was only five years old, yet no parents were around to watch them. Why not? Because the parents could trust those boys to wear life jackets when they paddled out into the lake and because they had learned to be obedient. Those boys all come to the meetings happily, for there is a good mix of the natural and the spiritual in their lives.
The Natural and the Spiritual
About 50 years ago, however, I saw the opposite to all this. My mother, who was older at the time, observed a young mother with two young children at a Bible conference. My mother knew that young mother well and knew that she did not have much money, so she went and bought two children’s books at the Bible book display at the conference, one for each child, and presented them to the mother. But instead of being pleased, the mother immediately walked over and put the books back on the shelf at the book display and said to my mother, “They have their Bibles; that is enough for them.” That mother did not want her children to have anything that was natural; she expected them to read their Bibles and nothing else. No doubt she meant well, but it was a big mistake.
Sadly, those two children did not grow up well, and one of them eventually ended up in crime and went to jail. His mother’s way of raising him was certainly not an excuse for him to break the law, but it shows us that we need balance in our family life. May the Lord give us the wisdom to do this, while counting on the Lord for His blessing in our family life!
W. J. Prost