An unexpected, late night phone call does nothing to sooth the nerves of parents, especially if one of their teenagers happens to still be “out” when the phone rings.
My wife and I experienced such discomfiture several years ago when a phone call startled us both out of a deep sleep at 1:45 a.m. Still groggy, my heart pounding with surprise, I grabbed for the receiver.
“Hello.”
“Mr. Nicolet?”
“Yes.”
“This is Ernie at Otto’s Towing Service. The sheriff just called us to tow a burgundy Chevy Cavalier that was found outside Polk City registered to your son . . . ”
Trembling, I felt a wave of terror flood over me as the caller continued, repeating our son’s name and address, apparently read from his car registration.
“The deputy thought we should check to see if you know where your son might be and where you want the car towed.”
Though still shaking, I was by this time thinking more clearly and my panic was beginning to subside.
“There must be a mistake. My son’s car is parked in our driveway and he’s asleep in bed.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I can see his car out our window right now.”
“Oh. Okay, thanks.” Click. The line went dead.
Knowing our son was in his bedroom sound asleep still didn’t keep us from shuddering at the thought of receiving that prank call had our son not been home and had we not known where he was.
Dangerous Freedom
For many years, society, motivated by the enemy of our souls, has actively encouraged children to demand freedom from parental constraints under the plea of “We need our space! We’re mature enough to make our own decisions!” Parents who rightly insist that their teenagers observe reasonable curfews, notifying them where they will be and with whom, are wrongly considered fussy, overly strict, or, worst of all, abusers of parental authority.
The Importance of “Knowing”
Jacob, an Old Testament parent, painfully learned the results of not being “diligent to know the state of [his] flocks.” Oh, it’s true, that clever schemer was well acquainted with the physical condition of his cattle. But he seemed little interested in the spiritual condition of most of his family—a sad parental shortcoming which brought him awful grief and shame.
Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, grew up realizing that her father did not love her mother (Gen. 29:3131And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren. (Genesis 29:31)) and apparently had little interest in her. But she was aware that there were some things—his animals, his other wife Rachel and her half-brother Joseph—that were very important to her father.
Jacob evidently failed to set limits and boundaries for Dinah, or perhaps he left that task to others. Thus the girl felt quite at liberty to go where she wanted, evidently free of parental restrictions and warnings. Poor Dinah! She used her personal space to go out and visit the Hivite daughters, seeking in their seemingly harmless company fellowship that she lacked at home. Tragically, rather than experiencing wholesome friendship with the daughters of the land, she experienced moral defilement by a prince of the land (Gen. 34).
The Importance of “No-Ing”
David evidently did not have enough love and care for his son Adonijah to tell him “no.” In this he is an example of the folly of following the pattern of child-rearing which allows the child to do as he pleases in order to allow his personality to develop. This terrible pattern has resulted in a demanding, humanistic generation of “give me, please me, satisfy me” people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
Beloved, let us as parents (and grandparents too!) be watchful, loving and firm with those exceedingly precious treasures that God has entrusted to our care.
And dear dads and moms, never be afraid to say to your dear children (even if they don’t display, at the time, appreciation for your concerns), “I want to know” and “no!”
Ed.