Address—Dave Mearns
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I wonder if we could sing this evening?
At the beginning of this meeting, the last verse of 154.
#154.
The second verse.
The fire, thy love path.
Canvas, however.
They were now.
Not here. And he said right everywhere.
*** **** hiding.
Will come.
Oh, make it cry more, right? It's rightly.
I first more friends.
Could we ask the Lord for His help?
Our God and our Father, we thank Thee for our precious Savior, the Lord Jesus.
We thank Thee that it's our privilege to be able to call Thee Father and know that Thy desire is toward us not as care for us far more than we care for ourselves and our God. Tonight we just would earnestly pray that as we open Thy precious word that that would touch each of our hearts at the speaker's heart would be touched, and each one of us as we sit here.
Our God, having had such a happy time today, we just would ask for thy help now.
And give us to have listening ears, pray our God for clear minds and for energy. And so we'd ask these things our God as we.
As we consider what's before us in the worthy and the precious name of our Savior, the Lord Jesus, Amen.
I.
I've been thinking a little bit about.
What to have tonight?
And.
It's a kind of a tough time of the day.
We've we've had.
A day full of activities, we've got our tummies full and it's, it's perhaps a hard time to to stay clear, but we trust that tonight that we'll be able to do that. I'd like to look at.
A subject tonight that.
It affects most of us here and at some time in our life will affect all of us.
And it has to do with a certain aspect of the marriage relationship.
That's a rather large subject. We had some thoughts this morning in connection with the bringing up of children and whatnot. I was thankful for being able to sit here and listen.
And the direction I would like to go particularly is.
In in our marriage relationships.
What does the scripture have to say with regards to our in laws?
Not something we hear about very much. And I don't, I don't have any agenda here. I don't know most of the folks real well, not close to them. I'm close to Jim's, not very far away from where we are.
I've met his in-laws once, I don't know what his relationship is with them, so I got no agenda there. Paul and Carrier close at our assembly, very thankful for them. They know me, they've heard some of these thoughts, not all of them, So I have no agenda here. I just feel that this is what the Lord has laid in my heart and trust that it would be for profit now.
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In looking at this subject, there are those here tonight.
Who? Our mother in laws.
There are those here who are daughter in laws.
There are those here who are sister in laws.
And there are those here who are all three.
There are those here who are father in laws.
There are those here who are brother in laws, there are those here who are sons in laws, and there are those here who are all three.
And if the Lord should tarry?
Most of us here at some time in our life will become a son-in-law.
Or a daughter-in-law, and perhaps also a brother-in-law. Or sister-in-law, a mother-in-law and a father-in-law. There are some here who are very young and are a brother-in-law or sister-in-law.
I think of.
Paul and Kerry's two boys. They have a couple of brother-in-law's. They're very young. They have a couple of brother-in-law's and they they have a sister-in-law.
And as we look at this, this relationship often.
There are difficulties that develop in the marriage relationship, which takes a long time to manifest itself.
And often it's through the vehicle of our in laws.
Now I just want to consider that as we look at some scriptures, what does the what does the Word of God have to say about that relationship and what becomes me as a brother in Christ?
With regards to my behavior.
To my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, my brother in laws, and my sister in laws.
Now let's let's open by. I had an interesting thing happened two days ago.
Two days ago, maybe three days ago now I'm driving to Ottawa and.
It's about a 45 minute trek. I'm halfway there. There's a man on the side of the road hitchhiking. Don't do this often. I pick them up. Big black guy, 240 lbs, six foot 6 sitting there beside me.
We we chat, find out about his where he's from. He's from Saint Vincent, he's been here for 30 years.
Wife, children, what he did for a job, went through his whole life, went through mine. I paused for a minute and driving down the road and I look over at him and I said so.
How's it with you and God?
And his eyes got real big.
And he looked straight ahead, and he took a big, deep breath.
He took another one and he said.
You got me.
And I didn't know quite what that meant. Here's a man, brother in Christ, gotten away from the Lord.
Friends haven't addressed anything with him. Family hasn't addressed anything with him. Now here, he's hitchhiking down the road. This guy picks him up. What are the odds that someone's going to ask him that question when it's a critical time in his life before the Lord in a bad state of soul?
Here's the comment.
You got me. I wasn't trying to get him. I was had an interest in him. And you know, I would just say tonight that as we embark on this subject.
Trust that everyone of us here would be able to listen to what the Spirit of God is bringing before us from His precious Word.
So let's let's embark now in the book of Genesis. We'll turn there just to start the book of Genesis.
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The book of Genesis, the 26th chapter.
And we're going to read 2 verses at the end of the chapter.
It says the Nissan was 40 years old when he took to wife Judith, the daughter of Bury the Hittite, and Bashamath, the daughter of Elon the Hittite, which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebecca.
You know, that's a pretty sad commentary. To read these verses concerning Isaac and Rebecca, we could look at their history.
And now we come to this point in their life and we read these words. They were a grief of mind to Isaac and to Rebecca. And I might say that it's been my observation to observe many dear brothers and sisters in Christ that are my senior, and they have daughter in laws that are a grief of mind to them.
Or they have sons in laws that are a grief of mind.
To them.
Now let's flip over a chapter.
Chapter 27.
We're flipping one page, we're flipping 40 years.
One page 40 years.
So let's go to the end of this chapter.
And Rebecca said to Isaac.
I am weary of my life.
Because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob should take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
What a sad, sad cry.
Of a dear lady that's one of the people of God to have to say this about her daughter-in-law's.
40 years.
Of such unhappiness to the point where she says I'm weary of my life.
It's also been my observation.
To observe dear brothers and sisters in Christ.
That are so burdened because of the relationship that they have with their daughter in laws or their sons in-laws is so bad and has been for such a long time that they would have to identify with Rebecca here in this chapter.
Let's go now to.
The New Testament.
Turn to Marks Gospel.
Mark's Gospel, the 1St chapter.
And we're going to take up with.
Peter's relationship here in verse 30 of Mark chapter one.
But Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever.
And and on.
They tell him of her, and he came and took her by the hand, and lifted her up, and immediately the fever left her, and she ministered unto them.
And not even when the sun did set, they brought unto him all that were diseased, and them that were possessed with devils, and all the city was gathered together at the door.
You know, here we have a scenario with that we have in the Word of God, as mentioned elsewhere, where Peter's in this marriage relationship and we find that in connection with his mother-in-law in this particular portion, she's got a fever.
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And often the relationship between sons in laws and mother-in-law's, father in laws and daughter-in-law's is such that there's a fever every time they get together.
The temperature gets elevated and we can sometimes be resigned to the fact that that's the way it is. It's been that way. It's not going to change. I'm not going to worry about it.
You know, there was a little discussion that took place.
Between 2 creatures.
One was an eagle.
The other was a frog.
So the eagle is flying through the air all around.
And the eagle says to the frog.
How big is the sky? How wide is the sky?
And the frog says.
Two inches.
And the eagle says the sky, it's hundreds of miles wide. It's hundreds of miles wide. And the frog says, no, it's two inches. And they argue, they argue back and forth, two inches versus hundreds of miles. Here's the eagle flying through the air. The frog, incidentally, is down on the bottom of a well, 40 feet. And he's looking up and he sees this little piece of light at the top, and it's two inches.
Very emphatic that it's two inches.
Sometimes we can argue.
The two inch concept.
And not realize that the Lord would have something much better for us than the situation that we find ourselves in that is less than good.
Here, it's beautiful to see that in connection with.
Peter and his relationship with his mother-in-law and there being a great fever, the way that that situation was fixed, that the Lord comes along and notice what it says. It says He took her by the hand, He lifted her up and immediately the fever left her and she ministered unto them, you know, and after that point we find so much more blessing.
And I I'm convicted in my soul.
That so often there are situations in our life.
That put us in a position.
Where the blessing of the Lord is not able to advance, and possibly it's because there's a fever often in those relationships in which we find ourselves.
Let's turn now back to the Old Testament again, back to the book of Genesis.
Genesis Chapter.
38.
Genesis chapter 38, it's kind of a sad chapter.
But we read here another relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law, and you know the story. Well, we're not going to go through the story, but let's just pick up in one verse, verse 24.
It came to pass about 3 months after that it was told Judah.
Saying, Tamar, thy daughter-in-law hath played the harlot, and also behold, she is with child by warden. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.
Pretty tender relationship, isn't it?
Pretty harsh. You know what's interesting? We read a portion this morning or had a portion read to us in connection with the life of Judah.
This beautiful portion as Judah pours out his heart to Joseph and says, How can I go to my father and the lad be not with me?
You know, a lot of transpired between the first time that we read about Judah and Joseph and the pit and Judah is saying about their brother, let's throw them into this pit. And then he's saying, you know, let's let's not kill him. Let's try to make a little money off him. We'll sell him to Egypt. And the point that we had this morning.
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Where Judah says to Joseph.
How can I go up to my father and the lad be not with me?
You know, often the difficulty.
Between the relationship.
Of a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law like we have here.
Or the mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Or vice versa, the mother-in-law and a son-in-law. Often the difficulty that presides is not knowing that the difference between a son and a daughter.
Now everyone of us here is either one of is one of those we're either a son or a daughter. Sons are different than daughters. They're different. And we have that portrayed in the word of God and they're to be treated different. I was, I was amused with Bernie saying this morning that he didn't realize that his wife had emotions until five years into their marriage.
I also.
Had some units the unit 5 in our marriage and it was about 5 minutes when I realized the emotions that my wife had.
They are different.
There are those here who are sons.
And there are those here who are daughters. You're different.
And sometimes those of us who are parents, we don't really see the difference between a son and his daughter. Now I'm going to substantiate this with the word.
Let's turn to.
The Book of Two Samuel.
Second Samuel.
Second Samuel, the 12Th chapter.
Second Samuel 12.
In the previous chapter we have the sin with David and Bathsheba. That's interesting because we have another relationship there of David and his grandfather in law, who happens to be Ahithophel, and that was not a good relationship.
But now we hear, we find here that David has sinned this sin, and the Lord wants to bring it before him. And we read here in the first verse, The Lord sent Nathan unto David, and he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city, one rich and one poor. I might just say this as we consider this portion that the Lord brought into David's life. 3 prophets.
And their character was very, very different there was in those early days.
When?
When David was young, there was Samuel the prophet who really helped David along in those early days and was such a great encouragement to him. And then as David went into rejection, there was another prophet that came along that the Lord sent very expressly and that was the prophet Gad. And then we find later on in David's life we have Nathan the prophet is brought and they all had a very different character and we have a tendency to appreciate the character of a of a Samuel annual put his arm around us.
And kind of encourage us in the way and help us in our, in our difficulties. And the same with Gad when we're a little older, that the Lord sends a gad into our lives. We don't particularly like a Nathan who the Lord sends into our lives as well. It says thou art the man.
But we need all three. We do. But here in David's life, it's Nathan that the Lord sends.
And Nathan, he addresses David. He has an agenda.
And he wants to push one of David's buttons. So let's read.
There were two men in one city, the one rich, the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds, but the poor man had nothing.
Save 1 little you lamb, which he brought and nourished up, and it grew up together with him and with his children, and that Eva's own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as now notice what the Spirit of God puts here. It's not a random word.
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With the Spirit of God says, was unto him as a child, was unto him as a son. No, Nathan is going somewhere with this by the Spirit of God. And he lays out before that clause exactly what this little lamb was. And how was it a little you lamb?
It wasn't a male man, it was a female which he had brought and nourished up, and it grew up together with him and with his children, and that eat of his own meat and drank of his own cup, and it lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.
Now what happens?
You know at this point in time.
David had Nathan's attention, just like I've got yours. He had his express attention.
And exactly what Nathan wanted happened, we read, and David's anger was greatly kindled against the man. David was furious.
That someone should treat this little you lamb which was like a daughter.
You know, David's just enraged. He's just enraged. And I might say this at this juncture.
That whenever there's a difficulty in our life.
However old we are.
The Lord always brings ministry in our life, which if we would only take heed.
It would be a salvation to us.
So let's turn over a chapter.
Chapter 13.
You think that pass after this, that Absalom, the son of David, had a fair sister whose name was Tamar?
And on the son of David loved her.
It won't take the time. If we were to go through this chapter, we would find.
It's the chapter where Amnon defiles Tamar, who happens to be David's daughter.
Now David finds out. And what happens when David finds out? You know we read exactly the same thing as his reaction when he hears this story of the ewe Lamb, because it has to do with a daughter.
Let's look at the wording.
Verse 21. Second Samuel 13.
When King David heard of all these things, Mr. Darby said he was very angry.
You know, I read these things because.
Often.
In our relationships.
With our children, often there's not the understanding of the difference between a son and a daughter, as I mentioned earlier.
You know there are.
There are sisters here, a lot of them. Some of them are grandmothers, some of our mothers.
And some who are single young sisters, you have some characteristics about you that I don't really understand as a man.
You know, and it's been given to you from the Lord. It's been expressly given to you from the Lord. What we find, we find that female character often used as an example in connection with the Lord.
So that we know it comes right from him. And I'll just, I'll just reiterate what I'm trying to say. And that is if we were to turn to the book of numbers, we would find a discourse there on the red heifer.
Picture of Christ. It's not not a red book, it's a red heifer.
We find if we were to go to Isaiah, that the picture there is as a lamb before her shearers is dumb.
So he opened. It's not his mouth, it's not his shear. It's her shears.
When the Lord Jesus was weeping over Jerusalem.
What's the example that he used? He said how often would I have gathered you as a hen gathered her chicks and he would not.
Interesting examples that the Lord uses. You know, I don't know that about you sisters. I have a wife, I have daughters.
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I treat my daughters differently. If we were to turn back to First Samuel, we would find there that the ewe lamb, it was held in the bosom of the poor man as a new lamb.
I have two daughters.
One's older than the other, one's married. The married one still comes to me and she kind of cuddles herself into me and we give her, give her a nice hug and that's our relationship. It's always been that way. My older one too. Now I hug my sons too. I hug Ron, I hug Craig. But it's not the same way. It's a very masculine hug that I give to them and the difference is that.
Our daughters.
They're affected by touch. It's not exactly. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that those of us who are males were affected by sight, and this world knows that. And so they put right across our vision everywhere in our life that which would attract our attention by our eyes. But our daughters are affected by touch. And those of us who are fathers, those of us who are young fathers, those of us who are older fathers if we do not.
Give our daughters.
That affection that we see in First Samuel that the ewe lamb got, they're going to look for it somewhere else and that often happens.
Well, here Nathan, he tries to portray to David just the thought of a daughter and we know the desired result and David is just, he's absolutely furious. Absolutely furious.
You know, often.
In our lives.
As sons in laws.
As daughter in laws.
As mother-in-law.
As father in laws.
There is not the understanding and often that's where the difficulty lays between in laws.
I'd like to just.
Turn now.
Umm.
Let's turn to the book of Ephesians for a moment.
Ephesians chapter 5 It's been my.
My sad portion as a husband.
Perhaps at times not to recognize the responsibility that I had as a husband, particularly with regards to my in laws.
And so.
On occasion.
As we've taken up a little of the tenderness of the female character, I have spoken to my sister in laws.
In a way.
That was less than respectful.
In a way that caused that beautiful flower just to wilt because of the callousness of my tongue.
And we can do that as males.
And I've said things to my sister in laws, you know, and I was only kidding.
I was only trying to be funny.
And I just saw them just completely wilt.
Because of my callousness.
There needs to be.
In the relationships that God has put us.
There needs to be.
That tender care.
There needs to be the respect.
That it's so easy for us of speaking to those of us who are males. It's so easy for us to step over that line and say things that are just less than good and can be very, very harmful.
Here in the book of Ephesians.
We find now.
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And I don't want to develop this this chapter, but just to make this comment that.
In our relationships, one with another.
And when I enter the marriage relationship, one of the things that perhaps has been a little difficult for me to understand in the early days was that when I married my wife.
And I became one with her because of that relationship. Her family was now my family.
And my family was now her family and we sometimes struggle with that. And that's where the difficulties comes in, comes in with in laws.
And it can be very strange. It can be very hard.
Now, I would just say this in connection with the dear sisters.
Because our position is different before the Lord, let's read the 33rd verse of Ephesians chapter 5.
Nevertheless, let everyone of you in particular so love his wife as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. I'll ask this question now. Those of you are sisters, you have a man beside you.
Do you reverence your husband?
I'm not asking you if you love your husband.
Let's be very clear, you may love your husband very, very much, but do you reverence your husband?
We have an example if we were to go into David's life, we have an example of Michael and we have two accounts where it says of Michael that she loved David.
That's established.
But we also have an account that very, very.
Graphically portrays that she did not reverence her husband.
She did not reverence her husband.
Let's go over to Peter's epistle.
The second Epistle of Peter.
I'm sorry, The first epistle of Peter, the third chapter.
And we read in connection with the wives here. Now likewise you wise be in subjection unto your own husband. But then it goes down into verse seven and we read this.
Likewise the husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
And that's a that's a responsibility that I have that sometimes slays me as seeking to dwell with my wife according to knowledge. It's recognizing those characteristics that Bernie was referring to this morning that he had difficulty with very early on in the marriage.
And if if I cannot dwell with my wife according to knowledge, it's going to affect my testimony, you know, our largest testimony in this world as those that are married couples.
Is that beautiful picture that we are of Christ in the church?
And perhaps the other greatest testimony that we have is our joy in the Lord.
It's the greatest testimony to our families, It's the greatest testimony to our brethren, It's the greatest testimony to this world is our joy in the Lord.
And often the relationships into which we find ourselves.
When they're not going the way they should, I don't dwell with my wife. According to knowledge, she has a hard time. Yes, she loves me, but she doesn't reverence me. It causes our testimony to go South and we lose our joy and we find there are other things here that that.
Are not good in the situation it says it says.
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At the end of the portion that we won't be heirs together as the grace of life and our prayers will be hindered.
You know, and often, let's turn to the book of Ruth. We've spent quite a bit of time on the negative line of things.
But.
So often in our lives, we're so selfish.
We're so very selfish. And you know, when I was younger, I, I appreciated playing the violin.
I played a little orchestra and I enjoyed playing the violin, and as a result I enjoyed playing certain music better than others. And there were some some composers I really had appreciation for, other composers I didn't quite have an appreciation for. The one that was perhaps my favorite was Beethoven.
If there are any musicians here, you know what I'm talking about. If they're not, doesn't matter.
Tremendous ability in composing terrible life. One of many children, the oldest of them, had to provide for the family at a very early age because his dad was an alcoholic and a very driven man.
But part way into his career there was there was a Prussian Prince that was holding an event and he wanted a very, very special piece of music composed for this event. So he contacts Beethoven.
Contacts him and he lays out exactly what he wants in the way of this piece and Beethoven's. His response is this.
Such nonsense. There are many, many Princess. There is one Beethoven.
You know, sometimes.
We can have that characteristic in our lives of being very, very self-centered and selfish.
And it often finds its way into.
Our relationships with our in laws, there's a lot of young sisters here and there's a lot of young brothers and you think I don't have any in-laws? If the Lord were to leave us here, you soon will.
You soon will, and these things are vital. They're vital to our relationships, they're vital to our testimony in this world.
Now let's look at the Book of Ruthless.
The Book of Ruth.
And the second chapter.
So Boaz, in the fifth verse, Boaz says unto his servant that was said over the reapers.
Who? Who's damsels this?
And the sermon that was said over the reapers answered and said it's the Mobitus Tramsal that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab.
So there's a discourse between them. But now notice what we have.
In verse 10 he says, Ruth, she fell on her face, and she bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger? And boat answered and said unto her.
It hath fully been showed me all that thou hast done unto thy mother-in-law since the death of thy husband. How hast thou hast left thy father and thy mother the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knowest not heretofore? The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust the first and foremost.
Feature that Boaz mentions here is.
Ruth's interaction and her conduct with her mother-in-law isn't that beautiful.
Well, let's just ask ourselves how? How am I doing with my in laws?
I don't just mean my parents in laws, I mean my brother in laws, my sister in laws. I've got a responsibility because.
As I said earlier, because I'm one with my wife.
Her family is my family. My family is her family. We tend not to look at it that way. We tend to look at it. That's my wife's parents, That's my wife's brothers. It's my wife's sisters. No, they're mine because I'm one. If I'm not one, then I'm going to have that attitude. I really am. So how are we doing with this?
You know, if we're not doing real well.
I just trust that tonight it would touch our hearts.
That we would take a look at what the Lord would have us with regards our responsibilities and perhaps with regards to our future responsibilities.
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Let's turn over now back to Peter.
Peter's epistle. We'll look at the.
The first epistle in the 4th chapter.
First Peter, chapter 4.
And verse 8.
And.
Above all things.
Have fervent love.
Among yourselves, for love shall cover a multitude of sins.
Above all things.
Have proven love among yourselves, for love shall cover a multitude of sins. Well, just trust that these few thoughts in connection with this subject would touch our hearts as to our natural relationships that we find ourselves in down here. I wonder if we could close by singing the hymn that we opened with. But we'll sing the whole hymn #154.
154.
Our Father we would worship in Jesus holy name.
For anyone, ever.
Jesus forever.
And so.
Freedom of God, I like praise.
We commend ourselves.
Our God and our Father, we thank Thee for our precious Savior, the Lord Jesus.
We thank Thee for that wonderful example that we have in that Blessed One for our pathway down here, and we thank our God of the thoughts that we've had before us this evening.
Let us know the heart of each one of us here, our God, and we just would pray that Thou must direct these thoughts according to Thy gracious will. We think of the relationships in which we find ourselves, those here who are sons, those who are daughters, those of us who are fathers.
Those who are mothers, grandparents, and many of us here with in-laws or God, we just would pray that we might have a desire to above all things.
Recognize the love that we need for each other that we might be able to go on in a manner that's consistent with Thy precious word, that we would be a testimony that would shine brightly in our marriages and in our family relationships to this poor world. We just would ask these things, our God, and pray thy blessing and just would pray for the rest of the evening as before. She would be one of real prophet. And so our God, we'd ask these things, giving thanks.
00:50:16
In the worthy and the precious name of our Savior, the Lord Jesus.
Amen.