“GOD will never forgive me, I am sure He cannot; it is perfectly impossible; He never can pardon me,” and thus saying the speaker, a young lady, dropped into a chair, and buried her face in her hands, sobbing convulsively. She was a stranger to me, and, on entering my consulting room, she had at once said, “I am not a patient, doctor, but I came with the hope that you might help me with my difficulties.”
I saw it was a case of soul trouble, and when she was a little calmed, inquired the cause of her distress.
“Oh, I have turned my back on God. Seven years ago I came under religious influence, and I determined to turn over a new leaf, and lead a new life. I had been very careless and worldly before, but somehow I became awakened, attended religious meetings, and made a profession of Christ, though I do not think I was ever really converted. Under the advice of friends I was baptized, and joined the Church, but within a few weeks it was apparent to me that all was unreal and hollow, and my profession a mere sham. I found that I still loved the world, and not Christ. I therefore, after a few weeks of unreal profession, flung it all overboard, turned my back on God, went back into the world, and for over six years I have been worse and more careless than ever I was before.”
“And of course you have been correspondingly miserable,” said I.
“Miserable is no word for it,” she said, “I have been utterly wretched. My sin has been awful, and it is impossible that God can ever forgive such a sinner as I have been,” and her tears flowed faster than ever.
“And what brought you here to see me, a stranger?” said I.
“Oh, a friend got me to come and hear you speak last Tuesday evening, in the―Hall. God touched me then really. I came in from the country this afternoon to meet a sister coming here by train, but I was so wretched that I let her find her way to my house, and I came to you, to see if you could help me. But I believe it is all in vain, for how could God forgive one who has been such a sinner as I have?
I let her talk on for a while, and then said, “You have a very wrong impression of God; let me read you a little from His Word.” So turning to the Scriptures I read, “Moreover the word of the Lord came to me, saying, Go and cry in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, Thus saith the Lord; I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown. Israel was holiness unto the Lord, and the first-fruits of his increase” (Jer. 2:1-31Moreover the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 2Go and cry in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, Thus saith the Lord; I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown. 3Israel was holiness unto the Lord, and the firstfruits of his increase: all that devour him shall offend; evil shall come upon them, saith the Lord. (Jeremiah 2:1‑3)).
“Do you know how long it was after Israel came out of Egypt, and went after the Lord in the wilderness, that this striking message was sent to them?”
“I have no idea,” she replied.
“Well,” I continued, “it was fully seven hundred years. You notice God never forgets any little bit of affection on the part of any souls to Himself. Spite of all the sin and wickedness of Israel, during the intervening seven hundred years, between the Exodus and the moment when Jeremiah carried this message, an interval marked by sin, worldliness, self-will, and even idolatry, how noticeable to hear God say, ‘I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals.’”
“Yes, that is wonderful Indeed,” she ejaculated, “but I have been worse than Israel.”
“Be it so,” I added, “but the God who remembered Israel’s early affection, I am persuaded, remembers yours, if seven years ago there was any work of grace in your heart, and what He did to Israel He is just as ready to do to you, i.e., to bless and pardon you on the confession of your sin. Observe what He says to Israel, ‘Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit. Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid, be ye very desolate, saith the Lord. For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, than can hold no water’ (Jer. 2:11-1311Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit. 12Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid, be ye very desolate, saith the Lord. 13For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:11‑13)).
“Is not that rather like your history? You turned from God, the fountain of living waters, and have hewed out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.”
“Yes, that is me exactly. Oh, what shall I do?”
“Oh, how true that is of me,” she quietly replied; “but what can I do?”
“Do not try to reform; read another verse of our chapter. For thought thou wash thee with niter, and take thee much cope, yet thine iniquity is marked before me, said the Lord God’ (vs. 22). All your own efforts will bring you no comfort; you must learn what God is in His grace and goodness. What that grace is we shall learn if we look at chapter 3, where God sends another message to His backsliding people. There God says to His servant: ‘Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord, and I will not keep anger forever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord’ (vers. 12-14).
“All Israel had to do was to turn to the Lord and acknowledge their iniquity, and your path must be just the same. It is a good day when that takes place in your soul, which I believe is now taking place, and you are found weeping before God in the sense of your sins. Let us read on, ‘A voice was heard upon the high places, weeping and supplications of the children of Israel: for they have perverted their way, and they have forgotten the Lord their God’ (vs. 21).
“You see you have forgotten the Lord, but He has not forgotten you, and what you heard at my lips on Tuesday, I believe was His message to you.”
“Yes, indeed it was, and that is why I am here today,” she added, with fresh tears.
“Now, then,” I said, “listen to His gracious voice of tender goodness to you. What He said to Israel was, ‘Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings.’ The effect on them of the precious recall that He gave them was very blessed. Their answer was, ‘Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the Lord our God. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountains: truly in the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel’ (vers. 22, 23). It will be good for you if you do what they did, i.e., simply return to the Lord. He will heal your backsliding, and you will taste what salvation is, and say, ‘Truly, in the Lord my God is salvation.’”
She paused a moment or two, and then quietly said, “I see it, I see it. Yes, He can forgive, spite of all I have done, and forgive even me. I will trust Him; I do trust Him,” and her tears now flowed faster than ever.
I then added, “Now, that is Old Testament Scripture. Let us come to the New for a moment, and hear what the Lord says there. We read, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness’ (1 John 1:99If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)). When we have sinned we have to come to Him, against whom we have sinned, make a clean breast of everything, confess all, and immediately forgiveness is ours. That is the way of God’s grace―grace that reigns in righteousness now, since Christ has borne the sins which we confess; and not only borne them, but atoned for them, and blotted them out forever.
“It is on that ground that He could say, and did say, to a weeping sinner like you, the precious words we read in Luke? There a sinner stood at His feet behind Him weeping. Simon the Pharisee thought and said, ‘This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner’ (vs. 39). He thought Jesus did not know all about her. He did, and He knew all about Simon, and He knows all about you also. Then it is that the Lord says, ‘There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me, therefore, which o1 Them will love him most? Simon answered and said, I suppose that he to whom he forgave most’ (vers. 41-43).
“That reveals the character of God in grace. He is the creditor; you and I are the two debtors.
Which is your debt, the fifty or the five hundred? Whichever you lay claim to I will take the other.”
“Oh, my sins are the five hundred,” she immediately exclaimed.” There never was a sinner like me.”
“Well,” I said, “I am glad to hear you say that. Can you pay? Can you put away your sins?”
“Oh, no, no I impossible.”
“Well, notice, ‘When they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both.’ Which of us do you think this afternoon is forgiven?”
“Both!” she exclaimed in astonishment.
“Yes,” I added, “it is true. I know I am forgiven, and that poor sinner spoken of in that chapter knew she was forgiven. Are you aware how she knew she was forgiven?”
“I think I am forgiven, but I do not feel it,” she ejaculated.
“Very likely, but the point is how did that woman know she was forgiven?”
“He told her, did He not?” she said.
“Yes; let us read it. And he turned to the woman... and he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven... thy faith have saved thee; go in peace.’ The way she knew she was forgiven was because he told her. Those twelve words― ‘Thy sins are forgiven, thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace,’ filled up the whole horizon of her soul. If she looked backwards she was told her sins were forgiven. If she looked forward she was told her faith had saved her, and as for the present, she was told to go in peace; for if the past is pardoned, and salvation the possession in the future, well may peace fill the soul for the present.”
“Thank God, thank God, I believe it, I see it. I do not know that I feel as I should like to, but I trust Him, I believe Him.”
“Shall we give God thanks for your salvation?” I asked.
“Oh, do,” was the fervent reply. We bowed in prayer and praise before the Lord, and when I had done, such a burst of thanksgiving as that dear pardoned sinner poured out to the Lord I have never heard in all my life. It might have touched a heart of stone. I confess my heart was touched. When she rose from her knees, her first word was, “You will come and preach in my village, will you not, sir?” Sweet evidence of grace this. A new-born soul enjoying the favor of God always seeks to share the heavenly joy with others; in fact it is the mark of the life of God in the soul.
She had the wish of her soul gratified, for a few evenings later I had the privilege of addressing a company of immortal souls, whom she had gathered together in a schoolroom, in the village where she resided. What the result will be “that day” will declare, but they listened earnestly to the word of life then preached.
Reader, have you this life? Have you tasted the joy of God’s pardoning grace, and are you seeking to share it with your neighbors?
W. T. P. W.