M― was brought up in a Roman Catholic country. From very early years he seemed to have a sense of his own sinfulness, coupled with the fear of having one day to meet God. As he grew up his hope was that by performing all that the Church demanded he should be all right in the end. Yet not only did he never find solid satisfaction for his uneasy conscience in all this, but found himself actually questioning different portions of the Church’s teaching, such as the doctrine relating to the Virgin Mary, etc.
Up to his nineteenth year his soul was enshrouded in the darkness of Roman superstition, for he had no one to take him by the hand and guide his wandering feet into the way of peace. He never dreamed that there was any such thing as the knowledge of salvation or the eternal forgiveness of his sins.
About that time he made a change in his employment, and went to lodge at the house of two Christian women, Strange as it may seem to those who live in a land flooded with gospel light, it was here, for the first time in his life, that he saw a Bible! A desire at once sprang up in his heart to read the precious volume, but only when alone in the room where it was lying dare he venture to do so. In his ignorance of how matters really stood he imagined that the couple with whom he was staying might raise an objection to a Roman Catholic reading their Bible! Many a stealthy peep into its blessed pages did he take, until one day they came into the room and found him reading it. Expecting some sort of rebuke or remonstrance, he humbly apologized for the liberty he had taken. But it need hardly be said that they expressed their joyful willingness to his reading it as often and as much as he pleased. Thus was he set free from all restraint in the matter, and read it he did. What most struck him was the wonderful clearness and simplicity of the Scriptures, and the more he read the more his soul was convinced that it was indeed the Word of God.
Hundreds of questioning thoughts now began to cross his mind. “Surely he had not been brought up to care for other people’s religion. He had had no opportunity of reading the Bible in his own church. Why should he trouble therefore about matters which he had not hitherto been taught? It was not his fault that his parents were Roman Catholics, and he brought up in that faith!” But all this kind of reasoning failed to yield relief to his troubled conscience. With a burden of guilt upon his soul the question was ever before him, “How can I stand justified before a holy God?”
He still continued to go to “confession,” and as he was residing eight miles from the chapel he felt a sort of secret satisfaction in having to walk the eight miles through snow and rain. Surely this was a work of merit! But even all this, together with priestly absolution, and the periodical assurances on the part of his confessor that he was once more a child of God, failed to bring him into the longed-for rest and peace. On the contrary his misery continued, and grew in intensity. The more he read the Bible the more uncomfortable he felt in the Romish Church, while Satan was increasingly busy in trying to alarm him by bringing before him the consequences of leaving it.
Then he thought he would try to pray; but the only prayer he knew, which he, thought would be proper to say, was the one commonly known as the “Lord’s Prayer.” But even in using this he was pulled up; yes, by the very first sentence in it. To call God his “Father” he felt would be to tell a mocking lie, for he did not personally know Him as such; and, reader, you know it is sorry work trying to deceive the all-seeing God! Alas! how many are doing it!
Day and night for weeks the thought was constantly before his mind, “Oh, if I could only call God my Father!”
He now mustered courage to tell the two Christians with whom he lodged that he should be thankful to have a little talk with one of their teachers. Accordingly, one Sunday evening shortly afterward, a servant of Christ went to the house to see him, and then, for the first time in his life, the simple gospel of the grace of God was preached to him. Romans 3, had a most overpowering effect upon him, and left him without the shadow of an excuse, especially when he carne to that sentence, “That every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God” (vs. 19). He was now troubled more deeply than ever. But he must pass through deeper exercises still.
Shortly after this his anxiety was considerably increased through a dream. He thought he saw the moon coming down toward the earth, and upon it was written, in all languages, “The Lord is coming!” He awoke in fearful anguish of mind, knowing he was not prepared for that solemn event.
He now consented to attend a gospel preaching. Luke 15 was the subject chosen, and to use his own words, “I felt that he was preaching all the time about me, for I knew I was the prodigal, far, far from God, and perishing in my sins.”
Many days and nights of still keener anguish followed this, until at last the Lord was pleased to come in for his deliverance.
A little book had been put into his hand by the Christian who visited him, entitled How to get Peace. One evening he was reading it aloud to those with whom he was staying, and when he came to the part which speaks of God’s acceptance of the work done in our behalf, he fairly broke down. He could read no more. All he could do was to lift up his heart in silent thanksgiving to God. But we will let him tell his own story. “I read the pages of the little book with growing interest, but when I came to pages 23, 24 the light of God filled my soul. I saw clearly that God was satisfied by the work done for me on the cross! I could read no more. What I had found filled my soul with a joy unspeakable, and I had peace with God. No language can describe the joy and blessedness of that moment, when the heavy burden was rolled away from my heart and conscience, and I knew that the love and favor of God was resting upon me.”
As many of our readers may not have seen the valuable little book referred to, it will be as well perhaps to quote that portion of it which the Spirit used to the blessing of the young Romanist.
“‘But must not I accept Christ?’...
“Would you not be glad to have Him?’
“Surely I should.’
“Then your real question is not about accepting Him, but whether God has really presented Him to you, and eternal life in Him. A simple soul would say, “Accept! I am only too thankful to have Him!” But as all are not simple, one word as to this also. If you have offended someone grievously, and a friend seeks to offer him satisfaction, who is to accept it?’
“Why, the offended person, of course.’
“Surely. And who was offended by your sins?’
“ ‘Why, God, of course.’
And who must accept the satisfaction?’
“ ‘Why, God must.’
“ ‘That is it. Do you believe He has accepted it?’
“‘Undoubtedly I do.’
“ ‘And is―’
“ ‘Satisfied.’
“ ‘And are not you?’
“ ‘Oh, I see it now! Christ has done the whole work, and God has accepted it, and there can be no question as to my guilt or righteousness. He is the latter for me before God.”
Dear reader, this fresh witness of the triumphs of God’s grace is thus brought in all simplicity before you, in the earnest hope that the same grace may reach your soul also. Mark this. An unsaved Protestant, let him be High Church, Low Church, Broad Church, or dissenter, is as sure of damnation, if he remain unconverted, as the unsaved Romanist. Let neither deceive himself by any fair religious show. You must be born again, OR PERISH.