IT is now nearly eighteen years ago since I found I out that God was for me. And how did I find this out? Was it that I was near Him that I might know it? No; I was so far off from Him that I was lost, and, worse still, I was dead in trespasses and sins; but I did not know this then.
At the same time I was a member of the Established Church, a teacher in the Sunday-school; I was moral, a good son, and faithful to my employer; I had been confirmed by the bishop, and had been a partaker of the Lord’s Supper. My parents feared God, and I had been brought up to do the same.
With all this I was lost and dead before God, so needed to be found and quickened; in one word, I was not born again. My throat was an open sepulcher, and yet His song of praise was on my lips. The outside of me was very good to look at, most respectable (no wonder it was said I needed not to be converted). Ah! but God seeth not as man seeth; for man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks upon the heart; and I was like many another fair thing in the world—I had a bad heart, an incurably wicked one. How very true it is what God says, in Proverbs 14:12,12There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. (Proverbs 14:12) that “there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death!”
Well, the Lord Jesus was seeking me, the lost one. I was eighteen years old, an apprentice in a large shop. I was taken ill, and during my illness I heard my conscience speak (true and faithful). It said to me, “Should you die, you are not fit to meet God; then there is only hell for you.” I then made the resolve, that when I got better I would begin to make myself fit to meet God. Oh, what foolishness this seems now to me when I look back But the Lord let me try what I could do. I prayed earnestly for the forgiveness of my past sins; I saw that I was a sinner, but did not see that I was lost; I read religious books; I gave away tracts, took a deeper interest in my Sunday-school class, attended every service in church, and loved to look at and be near good men; I was awake to my danger, and tried in my own way to escape it. God had quickened me. I felt my burden, but tried by my own efforts to be free from it; I was under the impression that God wanted something from me. This state of things went on for some months. My master’s son was in business in London, where he had been lately brought to the Lord. He came home for a few days. What a bright light he was I and everything about him spoke plainly of Christ. One evening he asked the young men up to the sitting-room after business hours that he might talk and pray with them, and great was my disappointment when I went home (for I lived with my parents). My father sent me with an important message into the country; I hurried all I could, but was too late when I got back for the meeting. All the way I did so long—yea, really long—to possess for myself what I had seen in my master’s son; for he had got what I had not, and I thirsted for it. He left, and I had not an opportunity to speak to him about my state; still, the Lord knew all my desire, and cared for me, blessed be His name I There was a young man in the same business house with me who had been anxious too about his soul, and had got peace through dear Mr. H— talking to him. We said to one another (although we had not previously spoken about our spiritual state) that we would meet that night. I remember that night so well; it was the night of the concert. My mother was going to it; so I left her at the door of the town-hall, where I was to meet her when it was over, to bring her home. I went up to the shop, and met dear C—waiting for me. We went to his bedroom together, shut the door, lit the candle, and opened the word of God. He told me how he had got peace, how Mr. H—. showed him from John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)— “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” — that it was not what we could do for God, but what God had done for us; that He did not want anything from us, but He had something for us, poor lost sinners that we were. “He so loved the world” (that’s me)— I am part of the world— “that He gave”— then His wondrous gift— “His only begotten Son.” He told me that “whosoever” was surer than if I got a letter from God with my name on it; for there were others of the same name as myself. It was surer than if an angel appeared to me and spoke it. How thankfully I took my place as one of the “whosoevers,” and accepted His great gift, and thanked Him for it! I knew then that I had everlasting life; for I believed, and God had said, “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.” (John 3:3636He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. (John 3:36).) So all my sins were gone; for I just simply took God at His blessed word. I trusted Him, and peace and joy filled my heart. It was not now what I could do for God, but what He had done for me. He had given His only begotten Son, the best gift He had. I had eternal life, for I had Christ. He is my life, and as to myself I felt that I belonged to Him now. How astonished I was to find that it was so simple, and that I had not seen it before! I had been trying to make myself fit for God, but could not (thank God) get peace in that way. Ah! it is all God’s own work, and a finished work too, and He offers it to all. Well, I met my mother, and she told me about the singers, &c., at the concert; but oh, what a different joy filled my soul! I was God’s child now, and an heir of glory; but I felt I was as weak as a babe, and I wondered how I should do on the morrow. Then there was Satan too to meet; but in my weakness I clung to God, and held fast His blessed Word, and He has kept me ever since (blessed be His name), and He will keep me till I am with Him in glory.
Now, dear reader, I have written the above for you. Do let me ask you, in all love, In what relationship do you stand towards God? Are you His child? Can you say that “He has saved me from what I so richly deserved”? If so, praise Him, and live for Him as His child. If you are anxious to be saved He is for you, and if you only just come as you are, whosoever you be, taking your true place before Him as a lost one, He will not cast you off. Do just trust His blessed word; only believe, and eternal life is yours; cease your doing, for all has been done; look at the blessed Son of God as Man on the cross, made a curse for you; gaze upon that wondrous sacrifice; see that mighty Victor in glory now, and peace is yours, because He made it by the blood of His cross.
Oh, how I wish that blessed verse— “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life”— were written in letters of gold on the blue sky, that all might see it! but if it pleased God to do so it would not make it truer or surer than it is. Clouds and night would come, and then we could not see it. But there it has stood night and day since spoken, nearly 1900 years ago, by God’s own blessed Son, written in God’s own blessed word; so that you have it there as well by night as by day. How many millions have read and heard it! and yet how many have missed the blessing it contains! On the other hand, how many will remember and repeat it through eternity! No wonder Luther said that John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) was the “miniature Bible;” it is inexhaustible.
J. R. W.