Annie B. was the only child of her mother, a widow. She was a bright, intelligent girl, and one who was the subject of many prayers.
For several years I had known her mother and aunt, who were both decided Christians. Annie had been, through them, in contact with the truth of God from her very infancy, but it appeared to have made no real impression upon her.
She was a thoughtless girl, who when spoken to about her soul, was always ready with a light and careless answer,
“Time enough to grow good,” or some such expression.
She was not by any means constitutionally strong, and having taken a severe cold, she found it difficult to throw it off. Her mother, anxious about her, took her to one of the leading physicians, who prescribed, and said she would be better in a little while.
However, she did not improve, and after a considerable time was taken to another doctor, who declared her to be hopelessly ill, both lungs engaged.
About this time, I met her aunt, who told me with tears of the sorrow which had come upon them. I asked if I might go and see her. She thanked me, and said they would be glad.
I called on several occasions, but failed to gain admission to the poor girl, who I heard was rapidly sinking. She did not like to be spoken to, and consequently did not wish to see me, so I could only lift my heart to the Lord, and join with others in prayer for her.
One day a marked change for the worse came, and she feared she was dying, and without Christ. O, who can tell the awful solemnity of such a position, the very light and truth she had been so long in contact with, only enhancing her condemnation!
To pass into eternity from the midst of the gospel light which shines in this day, in which the truth as to salvation is so widely preached, without having accepted the message which it brings, is indeed awful to contemplate, and thoughts such as these arose within her. She was now most anxious to see me, and begged her uncle to send for me. Hearing of the change, and of her desire to see me, I arranged to call that afternoon at an hour which would be convenient to her.
On entering her room I found her propped up in a large chair, her mother seeking to place her in a position in which the poor weary body might find some ease. I sat down beside her, and after a few inquiries as to her state of health, I put the direct question,
“And now what about your soul?”
Her poor anxious face is now before me as she shook her head and said,
“I am not prepared to die.”
“Is that not a solemn condition to be in?” I said, “A solemn thing to have to do with a holy God, who is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity, and who is now looking into the very secret chambers of your heart. He not only knows all that you have done, but He knows what your thoughts have been, and what He says of your heart is this,
“‘The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, Who can know it? I the Lord search the heart.’ Jeremiah 17:99The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9). What a solemn thing that even now He is searching your heart!”
I could see by the play of her features that the Word of God was having its effect upon her, and felt sure that she was having to do with the One who was telling her all that ever she did (John 4:2929Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? (John 4:29)). I then solemnly asked her, “Now, in the presence of God, who is here, and in the light of what He has said about your heart, What have you to say for yourself?”
She lifted herself in the chair, and with an energy that surprised me, said,
“I deserve to go to hell, sir,”
“Thank God,” I said, “that you have reached this point, and now I want to tell you of another thing. I want to tell you of what God’s heart is, and what His thoughts about you have been.”
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life,” with several other passages. I then told her of the perfection of the work which the Son had accomplished, and which had so perfectly satisfied God’s holy and righteous claims about sin, that He can now be just, and the Justifier of the ungodly – of the one who believes in Jesus, and upon the ground of that work, He is sending out a message of peace to every poor sinner who will receive it, a message which comes to us where we are, finding us what we are, and tells us that “through this Man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins; and by Him all that believe are justified from all things” (Acts 13:38-3938Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: 39And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses. (Acts 13:38‑39)); also,
“Now,” I said “are you not a sinner, and does not that word ‘sinner’ describe you far better than if it were Annie B., for I know another with your name, and it might mean her, but that word ‘sinner’ takes you in? Now, if God is perfectly satisfied with what Christ has done, I ask you, What have you to say?”
All this time she was listening as one for whom life and death were hanging on what she heard. I repeated my question,
“God is perfectly satisfied with what Christ has done, and I now ask, What have you to say?” Again she lifted herself in the chair, and with clasped hands said,
“I am satisfied too.” Then falling back in the chair, she burst into a flood of tears. The joy which filled her heart could find no richer way of expressing itself, and the calm, restful expression on her face spoke volumes which words could not convey. Her mother, aunt, and myself could not refrain from tears of joy; we were a feeble expression of the “friends and neighbors,” who were called to rejoice with Him who found His sheep; or of those who were called to have part in the “music and dancing,” which told out the Father’s joy in having His lost one found, this precious one who was dead, alive again.
When visited by a friend, who was surprised to find her rejoicing, asked when it was that she had found peace, she replied,
“On Saturday evening.”
“And what gave you peace?” Her answer was,
“It was when I came to know that God was satisfied with what Christ had done.”
In speaking to another she said, “I always knew I was a sinner, but until that evening I never felt that God was looking into my heart.”
And now, dear reader, one word to you; As God is looking into your heart, and sees all that is there, and tells you what He thinks of it – What have you to say? Is it, “I deserve to go to hell”? And if so, as you hear the blessed tidings that God is perfectly satisfied with what Christ has done, is your answer,
“I am satisfied too”?
If not, you are yet in your sins, the judgment of God is impending over you, and the wrath of God may at any moment overtake you.