THE remembrance of dear Bessie H—’s last days are sweet to memory, and still fresh is that New Year's morning 1883, when I was sent for, as she wished to see me. I knew that she was ill, but not for one moment did I think she was going to die. I never shall forget her look, as I entered her room and stood by her bedside, and said to her, "You are very ill." "Yes, very," she answered, and then with great emphasis added, “I'm not happy, oh, I'm not happy. “I’m not happy.”
For many weeks we had talked on the subject of salvation, and I had hoped that dear Bessie was a saved soul. Therefore I said, “How is that, dear?
I thought you believed that Jesus died for you. I fear now that you do not." With great earnestness she replied, “Yes, I do; I do believe that Jesus died for me, but I'm not happy, I cannot, oh, I cannot lay my sins on Jesus.”
“No, dear," I replied," you cannot, nor can anyone. God in mercy has done it. Listen to His own word: All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all' (Isa. 53:66All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:6)). And another scripture says—' As many as received him, to them gave he power (or privilege) to become the sons of God, even to them that believe in his name ' (John 1:1212But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: (John 1:12)). Now you think a minute, dear, that the Lord Jesus had sins upon Him, when on the cross. He had none of His own; whose were they, then?”
“Mine," she answered," mine.”
“Yes, indeed, yours, and if He bore the punishment, how much is there for you to bear?”
“None," she said," none.”
I repeated a verse of—
“Just as I am, without one plea.”
She took up the last line with great earnestness, and said,—
“I come, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.”
The next day when I went to see her she said, “This pain in my head is agony, but I ought not to complain, Jesus bore more than this for me, yes for me, for me." I replied," Thorns pierced His sacred head.”
“Ah," she rejoined," He has a different crown now.
She had awful nights of suffering, as her malady was an abscess in the head. One morning I said to her, "There will be no pain by-and-by.”
“No," she replied,” nothing of the kind. If I could not look beyond this pain it would be dreadful, but ' How sweet the name of Jesus sounds.”
On the following Friday evening as I left her I said," I will ask the Lord to give you a quiet night, and He will if it is good for you.”
“Yes," she answered," I know He will.”
I never saw dear Bessie again, for when I went the next morning it was only to look on the lifeless body.
Some time in the night the abscess had broken, and after that she had some quiet sleep. On waking, seeing her mother was not in the room she called her, and said," Mother, I'm dying, I'm going, to be with Jesus—going home—home," and breathed her last.
Thus trusting in what the Lord Jesus had done and suffered for her, she could calmly say, “I’m going home—home." The last word was scarcely audible, perhaps it was finished in the presence of that dear Savior who had died to save sinners.
J. D.