It is a serious moment when a soul realizes what it is to be a sinner against God. The question of conscience then is not what men see, but what God sees; not what I think of God, but what He thinks of me. The mind constantly recurs to the thought that “Thou God seest me,” and to the painful consciousness that “my sin is ever before me;” and, not knowing forgiveness, such thoughts are very distressing. He perhaps, feels himself singled out, as if alone with God. He struggles to throw off such trying thoughts, but he cannot, for he knows he is God’s creature, and that he is accountable to Him by whom actions are weighed; for it is written, that “every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” (Rom. 14:1212So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14:12).) He dreads death, is afraid of judgment, and trembles at the thought of the lake of fire. So guilty is he, that he knows that if death should overtake him he has no hope of salvation. It is a profoundly serious moment; for his accusing conscience continually says, “I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight,” “I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not.” He trembles on the very edge of an eternal abyss, and all he can truthfully say is, “I have sinned.” What deep anxiety thrills through his soul; but how can it be otherwise when he is convicted of having sinned against God?
The more he ponders the reality of his condition as exposing him to “the wrath of God,” the greater his distress, so that he becomes deeply anxious as to what he should do. He resolves, therefore, to try to do better, to be better, and to bring himself into a better state, little thinking that such efforts are only like building on a sandy foundation. Encouraged, however, for a moment, by this false hope, and flattering himself in his own eyes, he is ere long grievously disappointed at his progress, and is forced to a worse opinion of himself than he had before; for he finds that he does not keep the resolutions that he wished, and he does and says what he knows to be evil in the sight of God. His conclusion at length then is not merely that he has sinned against God, but that he is a sinner “without strength,” and “under sin,” which only increases his misery, and adds to the burden of his guilt.
Still he has not yet relinquished all creature confidence and self-righteous thoughts, so that he now makes up his mind to be “religious” as it is called, and having made his selection from the vast variety of religious activities around, he ardently pursues his so-called “religion.” This he vainly hopes will bring the needed comfort to his distressed and burdened soul. He is therefore not backward in “giving and doing” he is diligent in duty work, in keeping days, and observing ordinances; he is determined not to leave a single pious work undone that falls within his capability, so that he may have a well-spent life, die happily, and get to heaven at last. In this wrong road he is encouraged by many whose piety he reverences, because he does not know that much which passes for piety is little more than a compound of superstition and Judaism, and not Christianity at all. However, he diligently toils on in the ways of religiousness, deluded by the false expectation, that by such efforts, an Ethiopian might succeed in changing his skin, and the leopard his spots. Alas! how many are ensnared in this wile of hoping-to-be! May God mercifully come in, and deliver multitudes of them by the gospel of His grace!
But those who are taught of the Spirit of God find no rest in this course of hoping to get to heaven by their religion. Such learn sooner or later, that “No works or duties of their own, Can for the smallest sin atone.”
However much others may flatter them as to their progress, and encourage them to trust in their own fancied goodness, and imaginary attainments, they are taught by the word of God that “By the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight.” (Rom. 3:2020Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. (Romans 3:20).) And, at length, they are further taught by scripture, that “the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can he. So then, they that are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Rom. 8:7, 87Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:7‑8).) Thus the soul taught of God is by His truth completely knocked down, and the religious snare into which he had fallen plainly exposed; he is therefore more distressed than ever, his burden has become heavier than before, for he now learns from the word of God, not only that he is a sinner without strength, but one who is hopelessly and incurably bad. This he receives as God’s verdict. Having had to do with the law of ten commandments has given him the knowledge of sin, and proved him to be under its curse. Sacraments and ordinances, he now finds cannot purge his conscience, and never were intended to be a means of salvation to anyone. He learns too, that all his “giving and doing” could not blot out one of his many sins from the eye of God. He feels painfully that neither resolutions nor religion have met the need of his guilty conscience, so that he now sees that if God does not save him he is lost, and lost forever. He thinks that God is able to save, but fears he is too bad to be saved, so that like the prodigal he says, “I perish with hunger.” What a serious reality this is to the soul that is taught of God!
But his case is urgent. He seriously feels that with him it must be eternal salvation, or eternal damnation. Like another he cries out, “What must I do to be saved?” It is an unspeakably anxious time. He thinks within himself, How can such a sinner as I approach God? Will He not frown, and spurn me from His sight? The answer from the word of God is, No; He will not do that, for He gave His only-begotten Son to die for sinners. But how can a just God receive one who has hated the Savior, despised the gospel, and who is otherwise such a hell-deserving sinner? Because He is the God of all grace, and loves sinners though He hates their sins, as has been manifested in the death of His own Son on the cross. But is He not a just God? Yes, and His justice has been shown in forsaking Jesus when on the cross because He was bearing our sins; so that He can now receive, pardon, and bless you forever in virtue of the shed blood of Christ. Yea, more, for in the gospel message His ambassadors are commissioned to say, “Be reconciled to God;” thus showing how gracious God is, how He delights to save, and how He can in righteousness blot out all our sins on believing in Jesus: because He “once suffered for sins the Just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God.” Then he says, “I will arise, and go.” In all my rags, and filthiness, and hunger and wretchedness, I will approach God, just as I am. He believes God. He comes as a self-judged, self-condemned dinner to God, and bows before Him. It is indeed a solemn moment. Alone with God, he says, “I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight” and he pleads the Savior’s name—the Savior whom God sent into the world to save sinners. He takes his true place before God through Jesus and His blood. The goodness of God in giving His only-begotten Son to die for sinners has led him to repentance; and this is repentance indeed. He is before God as a lost, helpless sinner, looking only to the Lord Jesus at His right hand, whose blood was shed for many for the remission of sins. No pen can describe the peculiar and holy solemnity of such a time, when in God’s presence, consciously deserving judgment, but looking wholly to Jesus as his Savior, whose blood ever speaks before God.
But he who had said, “I will confess my trans-sessions unto the Lord” was soon enabled truthfully to add, “and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.” And so in the case before us when thus in his right place before God; for by the Holy Spirit’s teaching he learns from the word, and receives, as from the mouth of God, the truth of the sin-cleansing virtue of the blood of Jesus, and that God is for him and not against him. He is assured that though he had been guilty before God, he is now cleansed from all sin. He receives God’s testimony. He sets to his seal that God is true—He believes, though God is righteous in all His ways and holy in all His works, yet having set forth Christ as a propitiation-mercy seat-through faith in His blood, he learns, to the joy of his poor sin-stricken soul, that God is now the sinner’s Friend, a just God and a Savior. Instead then of being forever under “the wrath of God” because of his sins, his comfort now is that God laid our iniquity on Jesus, that He bare our sins in His own body on the tree, suffered, and died for our sins under the judgment of God. He looks back therefore on Calvary, and knows that He was “delivered for our offenses,” he looks up, and believes the divine testimony, that He “ was raised again for our justification.” Wondrous grace! He perceives that God raised Christ up from among the dead for our justification, because our sins had been righteously judged, and in it God had been satisfied, yea, glorified. Thus by Christ all that believe are justified from all things, and so perfectly cleansed from sin that God says, “Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Nay more, such are accounted righteous before Him, for the risen and ascended Savior is of God made unto us righteousness. Everything is now cleared up between his soul and God, and he stands consciously as an object of divine favor and blessing, in righteousness before Him. “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” The blood of Christ is now realized between his soul and God, his conscience purged, his burden gone, the love of God shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghost which is given unto him, so that he loves God, thanks and praises Him for the gift of His only-begotten Son, and desires to serve and honor Him. Praise and worship spring up from his heart to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and he gives all the glory to Him. It was He, he exclaims, who awakened me to the solemn sense of having sinned, who showed me that trying to do Letter would not do, that resolutions would not do, that religion would not do. It was He who revealed His Son to me as the only and all-sufficient Savior, it was He who drew me to Him with the cords of divine love, it was He who brought me to Himself through the precious blood of Jesus, gave me peace, and enabled me to rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Hallelujah! all praise, and honor, and glory to God and the Lamb! “Thanks he unto God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” What a deep reality it is to have passed from death unto life, to receive the Holy Ghost, to find peace and liberty even now in the presence of God. What unspeakable goodness! Now he thinks of the Lord’s coming as his brightest and most blessed hope. He loves, he obeys, he serves, he worships, he walks in the truth, and waits for God’s Son from heaven.
“And when I in Thy likeness shine, The glory and the praise be Thine, That everlasting joy is mine, Ο Lamb of God, in Thee!”