[The following touching account of a triumphant departure was given to us by one now herself with the Lord. To have Christ with us when we pass through death’s dark valley, we must come to Him as needy helpless sinners before that moment comes, as come it must for all, if the Lord does not come before. Let this bright death-bed scene be compared with the joyless uncertainty and dread forebodings of those who near the unseen world without a Saviour, and each ask himself, Is it not better to belong to Christ than to the world? — ED.]
IT was towards the end of the year 18 — we were informed by telegram of the sudden illness and expected death of a dear sister then residing in France. What added to our grief was that the beloved one, with her husband and family, were without Christ, unconverted.
Two of our family, J — and M —, went over to her at once, and found the medical opinion very unfavorable. The disease was of such a nature that it must end in death, and he thought soon. Many were the prayers sent up to God by vast numbers of the Lord’s people on behalf of this sick one that she might be brought to a saving knowledge of Christ ere taken from us. A special interest seemed taken in her, and her family knew that she had often been under conviction of sin, and had tried to stifle it, more (we believe) from fear of what an open confession might entail than anything else; as she often since told us, she felt herself a sinner, saw hell open before her, and felt truly miserable. She also told us she had tried by prayers and ordinances and sacraments to obtain peace, without getting it. How true, God has no pleasure in sacrifices and offerings for sin — nothing but the blood of Christ (Heb. 9 and 10).
So far was prayer answered that in a fortnight after she was taken ill she was enabled by steamer to be brought to London, and although it seemed to threaten a storm in some parts of England, the sea in crossing was a perfect calm, a great thing for her. On arrival the very best advice was procured, the first doctors in London consulted, but one after another only told the same sad story that her days were numbered.
Dr A —, the family physician, was more sanguine than the others. He attended her to the last, and used every means to prolong life, when the disease could not be stayed. Prayer was offered up unceasingly, reading and explaining the Word — the Epistle to the Hebrews amongst the rest was read to her by A —, who had lately been reading Bellett’s “Musings on the Hebrews.”
This greatly cleared the way as showing the dear sufferer that all earthly priesthood was completely done away with, that all believers in our Lord Jesus Christ are priests, and that Christ is the only High Priest. That all earthly temples and sanctuaries are done away with, and that God seeks those to worship who worship in Spirit and in Truth, His presence making the sanctuary. Also it was explained to her that the Word says, “He that believeth hath everlasting life,” so that we ought to know here whether we have it or not.
“If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God, which He hath testified of His Son.
“He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made Him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of His Son.
“And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.
“He that hath the Son hath life; and he that bath not the Son of God hath not life.”
She said it went with a pang to her heart that she was making God a liar, believing man’s word (a human priest) instead of God’s Word.
Oh! our hearts were full of praise and thanksgiving to our God for His marvelous love to us and to her, she seemed so clear and decided, believing simply that Christ died for her, and that he that believeth hath everlasting life.
She said it was wonderful that six sisters should meet in heaven! Her next thought, and ours too, was the confession of this to her husband, who was so kind in attending to her bodily wants, but was still in the Roman Catholic Church.
The Lord might well have said, “O ye of little faith, wherefore do ye doubt,” but we were, and she too, fearful of the consequences of a confession; but prayer went up, and one night, when very ill, that passage in Romans 10:9, 109That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. (Romans 10:9‑10) pressed so on her conscience, until she felt constrained to send for her husband and tell him all — that she was now converted and had found peace and happiness through simply believing in Jesus Christ for salvation.
He had remarked before that his wife looked as though a load were off her mind, he could not account for it; but when she told him, soon after, he said to one, “Well, I do not care what she calls herself, so long as she is happy.” He very kindly used to read the Bible to her at her express wish, but still the anxiety for the children was great.
She spoke to her nurse and to M― (a servant who had been with her for years), told them that when death came nothing but Christ could satisfy. His blood alone gave her peace no prayers, no forms, no churches, no priests, and that no absolution of man was of any effect Christ and Christ alone, and they must let all go and cling to him. She said to her dear sister M —, “How can you walk about, and see souls trusting to churches, and prayers, and forms, without telling them what a precious Christ you have? Oh, what a precious Saviour He is! and you are told to confess with your mouth — how can you keep it? I don’t wonder at A — W — now; I would do the same. He well knows he is told to confess with his mouth, he knows all are in danger, and he values his precious Saviour. Oh, do speak for Christ!”
After a little sleep, she said, “Christ never turned an anxious soul away yet; Oh, no, He is waiting to receive; how precious a Saviour!” She said: “I remember when I arrived in England from abroad (three years before her illness), A―W―spoke to me about my soul. I was cut to the heart, and could have cried all day, but my proud heart would not let me say much to him — how that precious, precious Jesus has followed me, and has striven with me, and I have striven against Him, and He would not leave me! What wondrous love! I don’t deserve it, I can’t believe it.”
Then she said, “I am filled with happiness; it is joy, it is peace, it is Christ!” As these words came out she was quite exhausted. She then said to another sister, J —, “Can you be quiet when Christ says you are to confess with your mouth;” and then sent a message to C — (a brother-in-law) to say Christ alone would serve him at death, to lose no time in coming to Him; then said, to be sure and tell her mother-in-law that she died in the true faith, which is Christ! and Him alone, no forms, no churches, no priests, no man, none but Christ; tell her “she ought to confess to her sons that she knows that she is saved, and that no forms will save them; no church, nothing but Christ: His precious blood, we want nothing else at death, and nothing else before, but Christ and His Word, no church (so-called), Oh, the freedom! the freedom of getting out of bondage! What freedom Christ is! Why don’t all see it?”
She was very weak and quite exhausted after each sentence. Oh! what unbounded mercy the Lord was showing the dear sufferer. She lingered altogether about eleven months, and we may well say they were months of great mercies amidst all her sufferings.... Our hopes were often buoyed up with the idea that after all the dear one might be spared to us, as at times she gained strength and appetite; but she never anticipated perfect recovery.... So little did she, that at a later period, when the nurse she brought over was obliged to leave, she said she did not trouble herself about it, although so sorry to part with her, as her kindness and unwearyingly patience had been great; but she said, I may not live to require another.
Dear G—suffered from extreme weariness and at times pain and sickness. How little we who are in health know what these weary hours, are. Her husband, by kindness and attention, helped to soothe them for her. During these months she was visited, too, by some Christians who broke bread with her in remembrance of the Lord’s dying love, which she greatly enjoyed. She often said she only cared to see those Christians who spoke to her of Christ; some she named as not caring to see a second time, as they did not speak much of Jesus.
Although our hopes were often raised, we were summoned to town on the 9th of September, and found her near her end, but truly happy in Christ. On seeing A―she said: “I am just like that little hymn―
‘Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling.’
What could I do if I were obliged to bring anything of my own? Nothing but clinging to Christ.” “Well, dear,” A — said, “the best of us; after almost a whole life of service, can bring nothing at last, can only exclaim, Mercy from first to last,’”
She seemed to long for the Lord’s coming; not that she feared death, but loved the idea of G — said, “The only thing that troubles me is my not having spoken more of Christ to the unconverted” (few have to reproach themselves less on this point than she, for she spoke to nearly all she saw).
In being asked if she was rejoicing in hope, she said, “Oh, yes, each time I am brought lower I am happier, Christ is more precious to me. I have had temptations, but they are all gone now.”
She also said: “I could not think why I did not die when I was first converted, but now I see it — it’s because I know Christ better now. At first I was just happy and rejoicing because my sins were forgiven, but now I am more drawn to Christ — know Him better.”
It reminded me of the difference in ¤ John 1:12, 1312But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. (John 1:12‑13). Little children know their sins forgiven — father’s know Him who was from the beginning — for surely she had made rapid strides in the heavenly race in ten months. Then she said how true that little hymn is we used to learn as children—
“O that will be joyful, joyful,
When we meet to part no more.”
all meeting again. She had been rather troubled at hearing a Christian say she feared death, and said she determined to ask every believer she met if they feared it, and was greatly pleased with the answer of one of her sisters, A― S—: “Fear death? No! I never think of death! It is only God’s messenger sent to usher me into His blissful presence.”
September 14, dear G— said, “Not a bit of fear, no fear, perfect love casteth out fear; no fear, not a bit.”
On repeating a passage of the Word to her, she said: “Yes, it’s all very sure. I can look death in the face without any fear. I am weary, weary, but it will be all right when we get up there — no trouble, no heat, no pain. Jesus will take care of me, I know.”
On being reminded how near we were to Jesus, she said: “Oh yes, quite true, the Lord thought us so part of Himself that He said to Saul, ‘Why persecutest thou Me?’ Oh yes, that is precious.”
September 16, she was very ill; we thought it her last day here. She spoke to all around, warned M — (the servant) about her soul again, charged her to meet her in glory, told her she never would unless she came to Christ, “You must believe He died for you, M—, for your sins.” She told us how kind M— had always been, done her duty well, and to remember that.
Then to her nurse (a fresh one): “Am I to meet you there? Do you believe in Jesus?”
“I hope so, ma’am.”
“No,” she said, “it won’t do to hope. I know. Do you believe you are a sinner? Yes, all have sinned. Then if a sinner, Jesus died for you. Do you really believe it? He that believeth hath everlasting life.”
Then she asked her doctor if he would meet her. He replied, “Yes.”
“You do believe in Jesus, Dr A —, do you not?”
“Yes.”
She then spoke of her brother who was abroad, wondered if he would be saved and his wife, said how Satan occupied him with his business and the world. “It will all be of no use when he comes to die. When he comes to be like me, nothing will do then but Christ. Oh, how vain everything else appears, nothing will do for a death-bed but Christ.” She regretted, too, that his wife was so taken up with the world.
“Oh, how vain all the world is when death comes.” Then to her sister A —: “Don’t let me ever see you shed another tear about your husband, his soul will he saved. I have prayed and thought much of him, and Jesus says yes! Don’t you trouble anymore.” Then, as if she had a glimpse of glory, she said: “He has a mother there and a sister, and his mother’s prayers will be answered, and he’ll be there. I see it all as plainly as if I were seated up there, and he there too. He loves the world now, does he not? How strange Satan should be able to occupy people’s minds with different things to keep them off Christ, but he’ll be saved; it will come all at once.” Then as if talking with the Lord, she pleaded so earnestly for his soul to be saved. Then said: “Yes, it will be all right. Jesus says, whatever we ask we shall have. Tell him I thought of him, I prayed for him, and that nothing but Christ will do on a deathbed.”
Then turning to a Christian present, she said: “Don’t you ever fear death. When it comes Jesus will be with you, don’t fear it. He is with me and will be with you.” At another time she said: “Hush! Jesus is all round.” She told her sister M―that her gift was to awaken souls, or, as she expressed it, to make them feel uncomfortable. “Yes, M —, years ago you sent me those lines―
‘Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling.’
and I used to make up my mind not to read it, but felt obliged to take it out of my pocket when alone and read it over and over, and used to feel so miserable. Yes! You used to go on at me and make me feel uncomfortable. You can do that. I have prayed that I might go to sleep and waken on Jesu’s bosom, but it’s not the time yet.” She thought it so wonderful she should be saved, said she never cared for Jesus, and to think we are to have such a place!
A―said, “Yes, God loves His Son so much, that’s why He gives us such a place.”
“Ah,” G―said, “it’s all right up there, all rest.”
At another time she said: “Did you say it was death? It’s not death, death is the beginning of everlasting life to the believer — it’s very sure, none surer than I am. All is real rubbish down here when we get one glimpse of glory.”
A — said, “Yes, Paul said all was dung and dross compared with Christ.”
G—again said: “It’s only one step, a step and we are there, just a step. You will be there, A —, yes, and your husband!” (that is the husband she mentioned as being so sure of his conversion). “Tell me more of the Lord’s coming.”
To her sister M―: “I don’t think any one can enter into what our Lord felt when He said, ‘I thirst.’”
From the 28th to the morning of the 30th M — was the only sister there — her husband there also.
M—sat up with her — nurse lying on a sofa in the adjoining room. Dear G — said; “How sweet that we have it all to ourselves.” Poor thing, from extreme restlessness she did not sleep at all.... She was suffering acute pain, and exclaimed, “Lord, have mercy on me,” but immediately checked herself, saying, “I must not say that — Thou hast shown me unbounded mercy, yes, and love beyond my tongue can tell. All praise to Thy precious name, my Saviour. How sweet that name my Saviour! more grace to bear it I ask”...
The morning light came in, and all was peace. M — said, “Are you glad to see the light, dear?” “Yes, for it’s another night gone, and this can’t last — I am quite at peace and rest; dear M —, lie down, you look tired.”
... Perfect peace flowed in and joyful assurance. She said, “It is more than I could bear, Jesus has filled me.” She said she saw Him waiting to receive her, and she longed to go; not a doubt, not a fear. “Oh,” she said, “come, come, my Beloved; let me not be left any longer here, after such a sight! Oh, come, take me; the sight is too much — I am impatient now to go — a poor sinner, what unbounded love! all by simple faith in Thy beloved Person. Not one I want now but Thee — not a doubt, not a fear. Heaven is where Thou art, ‘tis true. Oh, such assurance is joyful.”
M—left her for awhile, and on returning to the room found M― (the servant) there, and G —, quite exhausted, saying, “I can say no more, M —; I am going straight to Jesus, and can do no more for you.” The nurse seemed to wish her to say more, and said, “You have suffered greatly, but we all have our trials; mine have been great.”
G—replied: “Trials and sufferings not turned to good use are awful; the trial is sent in unbounded love and mercy to warn you, and you reject it, and you can’t make a good use of trial without first looking to Jesus. Oh! don’t talk to me of sufferings; the Lord has been loading me with blessings, unbounded love and mercy, O precious Jesus!”
Her husband used to read to her daily, but she was too weak now to hear a whole chapter. She lay all that day holding her sister M — ‘s hand, her voice very weak. She said little, but M-could hear her carrying on, as it were, communion with the Lord, saying,” Jesus, Jesus, oh, yes, oh, yes — I am thine — Thou art mine, and nothing can divide us.” She said to M—, “Oh, if you had had such a sight as I have, you would not wish to be here one moment longer — all that A — S―said to me is quite true — no fear, all is peace.”
M―asked if she might sit beside her that night. She said, “I should like it, but your poor body will be worn out. I would not let you, but that this is the last night here — this restlessness is all of death — my dizziness of eyes is all of death — we shall have our last night to ourselves — this is the last night ever I will require it.”
M―replied, “Dr A―said your pulse was stronger.” “Well,” she said, “he need not tell an untruth, but he does not know. This is the last night here, and we will have our last night to ourselves — it is but a little time here—read to me a bit.” M — read different parts of the Bible, then read the hymn―
“Oh, patient spotless One,
My heart in meekness train,
To take Thy yoke and learn of Thee,
That I may rest obtain.
Jesus, Thou art enough,
The mind and heart to fill,
Thy life — to calm the anxious soul,
Thy love — its fear dispel.
Oh, fix my earnest gaze,
So wholly, Lord, on Thee,
That with Thy beauty occupied,
I elsewhere none may see.”
The third verse dear G―repeated after M —, saying, “Yes, Lord, fix my earnest gaze so wholly on Thee!” Later in the evening M―read the verse again to her, but dear G — stopped her, saying, “I don’t need that now”— as much as to say, my gaze is fixed!
Dr A―came soon after and said a great change had taken place, pulse much weaker. He was told the remark she had made, that that would be her last night. He said, “How strange — quite true.” M — told Dr A―of the sight she had of the Lord, and that she had said if we had had such a sight we would not wish to remain here. He said, “Tell me it again,” the tears falling. “Ah!” he said, “depend on it she had a sight worth dying to get.”
Nurse asked M―if she was afraid to stay with her sister alone at night. “How can I be afraid, Jesus fills the room,” was M— ‘s reply.
The doctor thought at times she was unconscious, but no, whenever the name of Jesus was mentioned she answered.
About 11 o’clock on the morning of the Both she opened her large dark eyes on M―wide, and said, “M—, dear, I think you would like to hear me say once more that I am at perfect peace, have perfect assurance through simple faith in the precious blood of Christ—me, a poor unworthy sinner; it’s not a nice thought having my head put under ground, but I am happy, having Christ I have all.”
Again she lay a long time without saying much, but extremely restless. She said, “Keep constant in prayer for the Lord to take me quickly, I am longing to go, but this, this is my trial to linger here—patience.”
When her sister J―arrived and sat by her she said: “J—, dear, so glad to see you. I am sensible, dear.” Perhaps she had heard some say she was unconscious. Again she looked up and said to J—, “Keep constant in prayer for the Lord to take me.” She said little after that, but at times she was heard saying, “Yes, yes, precious Jesus, quite sure; yes, yes.”
She quietly breathed out her last at 9.45 P.M. on Saturday 30th September, 18—.