In view of a world that has become vastly darker than when "To the Parents of My Grandchildren" was penned, it is crucial that those who are raising a family in a world about to begin its 7th millennium of history, walk soberly in the fear of God, diligently seeking light and wisdom from His Word. The Bible contains all the Divine wisdom, precepts and principles needed for parenting and for the protection of our beloved children—those precious, priceless treasures given to us from our God.
The one who is the "prince of the power of the air" is ever the same in his hatred of God and His divine institutions—spheres such as marriage and family. But we are assured that our God Who is light and love also never changes, (Mal. 3:66For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed. (Malachi 3:6)), and His precious Word given for our blessing and guidance never changes (Matt. 24:3535Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. (Matthew 24:35)).
How specially appropriate to our subject are the words of the Lord Jesus commending the one who hears "these sayings of mine, and doeth them,". He is likened to "a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock." (Matt. 7:24, 2524Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. (Matthew 7:24‑25)). Dad and mom!—build your family with great diligence, in holy fear and trembling before God, on that "Rock".
Be assured that in one measure or another, the rains of trial will fall on your precious family, the floods of immorality, violence and corruption will rise, trying to drown your children, and the winds of humanistic, godless thinking will beat against your home seeking its destruction. But though such adversity is assured, our blessed and unchanging "Rock," the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word, are ever the unfailing refuge against all the power that Satan arrays against you! May God then grant that with purpose of heart, parents see with eyes anointed by the Holy Spirit the reality of the fearful foe who has marshaled himself against them, that they may daily seek the wisdom of the Word of God for the guidance and protection of their beloved lambs.
Christian parents who seek to preserve their beloved children have such wonderful comfort afforded them in the Word of God! Let its Divine light and wisdom be the guide for every decision you make-always remembering that "greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." (l John. 4:4)
When Winning Is Vitally Important
In the sad story of Absalom (2 Sam. 15), the handsome, charismatic son of David who wickedly tried to usurp his father's kingdom for himself, we read that he began his wicked scheme by stealing the hearts of the children of Israel (2 Sam. 15:66And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. (2 Samuel 15:6)). He professed to love each one and to care about their condition. But he also subtly suggested that as long as David (his father) was king, they would never really get what their hearts desired or what they really needed (2 Sam. 15:1-61And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him. 2And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel. 3And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee. 4Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice! 5And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him. 6And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. (2 Samuel 15:1‑6)).
Satan seeks to do this very thing today to our children, and he does so very effectively. Disguised as an angel of light—appearing beautiful, harmless, appealing—he steals into the very place established by God for the protection of our lambs—the family circle. Through a thousand different ways—domestic chores, work responsibilities, friends, recreations, hobbies, and even natural family relationships (all wholesome, proper and helpful in themselves)—Satan can enter the Christian household unnoticed. Once there, he sets about—using these very things—to steal the heart of each precious child by promising that he (disguised in the light and attractiveness of them) has more love, understanding and satisfaction then the child can ever expect to receive from dad and mom.
Protecting Against Theft
In order to neutralize these efforts of the devil to steal the hearts of your children you must act upon the principle of Prov. 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26), "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways." Daily seek grace and wisdom to win the hearts of your children in confidence and love, before they are stolen by the enemy. Demanding obedience from children (though absolutely necessary), if not coupled with love and compassion, only serves to make it easier for the enemy to eventually steal their hearts. "[Love] suffereth.. beareth... endureth... never faileth... (1 Cor. 13:4-8).
Working to Win Hearts
But this infant confidence and dependence will not always be so. As your children grow older, IF you have not won their hearts, attaching them to yours—they will increasingly become easy prey for the bright and tempting lies of Satan. The self-will and independence of the flesh which we all have, will begin to assert itself (see this strikingly illustrated in the life of king Saul) more and more. Heart attachment is vitally important to keep them from a path of willfulness and sin. But, this must be developed. It does not automatically happen.
Has Your Heart Been Won?
Please notice the beautiful and solemn moral order of Prov. 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26). The heart comes first, and then comes the example to be followed. We are quick to teach our lambs, "Children obey your parents..." (Eph. 6:11Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1), Col. 3:2020Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:20))—and we need to do that. But coupled with this is the need of parents to learn for themselves, the joy of Christ dwelling "in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love...," (Eph. 3:1717That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, (Ephesians 3:17)). If the love of Christ has not won your own heart attaching you to Himself dear dad and mom, then quoting "children obey", will seem to your children more like a law demanding cold submission, than a request commanding loving obedience.
Parents Are More Than Policemen
Don't misunderstand—teaching children obedience is absolutely essential—but if you have not won their hearts first, so that they have willingly given you their full confidence and trust, obeying you may seem no different than obeying any other authority they encounter in life. With respect to our children, obedience should be more than this. We submit to God given authority in our lives, but not because a policeman, teacher, or governor has won our hearts in love. We submit to them, often in spite of what we think about their use of authority. However, with parenting, obedience and submission ought to be the result of winning our children's hearts in love and trust. "Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children," (Eph. 5:11Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (Ephesians 5:1) JND).
Won Hearts and Captured Eyes
A child naturally observes and imitates the example set by those who have won its heart. Remember this in relation to the world's idols—sports, entertainment, political figures, etc. If you have not won their hearts, seeking to attach them to the Lord Jesus, be assured that Satan will provide a famous athlete, entertainer, or other object who will steal them! Then, rather than being molded by your example, (Christ displayed in your life) they will be fashioned by the examples of these idols.
Oh! be ever so careful of your ways, for apart from the Word of God, your ways are the greatest lesson book your little ones will have in their early life! Let Psa. 139:23, 2423Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23‑24), daily form every activity of your life. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Then each parent will be able to say to their beloved children, in the spirit of Gideon, "look on me and do likewise..." (Judg. 17:77And there was a young man out of Bethlehem-judah of the family of Judah, who was a Levite, and he sojourned there. (Judges 17:7)).
A New Testament Father
We find a wonderful parenting example in the New Testament seen in the Apostle Paul, who was a spiritual father perhaps without equal. Often in his epistles, he makes reference to his spiritual children longing that they may be preserved and blessed.
To the Philippian believers, he expresses confidence that God was going to work blessing for them, because it was "righteous for me to think this as to you all, because ye have me in your hearts..." (JND). What does that mean? Their hearts had been won by Paul and thus, when he was away from them—a prisoner in Rome—they still believed, obeyed, and lived what he taught them. They saw in the apostle's life a living example of what he taught, and because of their love for him, they followed (imitated) his example (Eph. 5:11Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (Ephesians 5:1)).
Paul's motive was that the Philippians' hearts might be won for Christ. Do not lose one moment of the short time you have with your beloved children following his example! Diligently seek to win their hearts—that the enemy not be able to steal them. Once you have won their precious hearts you then can say to them in love, "give me thine heart" and they will in confidence and love, yield. Thus will you be able to effectively train them "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:44And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)). "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:66Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)).