ONE summer’s morning while my wife and I were at breakfast with our two grandchildren, she said she would like to go for a fortnight’s holiday. I asked her where she would like to go, and she replied, “To M―” to visit her married daughter. I said, “Why not go?” She answered, “Who would look after the place? I don’t think I could leave you; you would never be at home.” This was after many years struggling together to make a home. I took it very hard. About four days later I said to my wife, “If you will go for that holiday I will stay and look after the place, and not go through the gate till you come home.” At this time we were milking fourteen cows, and caring for the usual farm animals, pigs, fowls, horses, etc. My wife said, “Very well, if you will stay at home and look after things, I will go and take the two children with me.” So the buggy and pair were made ready for Monday morning, and my wife started off, accompanied by the two children, driving the distance of fifty miles herself, I being left to the duties of the farm. All went well for three or four days. As I had not had any education, and could not write, and scarcely read the simplest words, time seemed very long, and one night after tea I thought 1 must, find something to pass the time. Looking round for some books or papers with pictures, I picked up a large Bible, which had not been used.
On the first page was a picture of our Lord Jesus with this verse underneath: “Behold I stand at the door, and knock; if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me” (Rev. 3:2020Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)).
I did not understand these words; but, looking at the picture, I thought how beautiful it was, and looked through the book for more pictures, but found none. I then began at the beginning of the book to read, spelling each word as I went along to try to understand. I passed by all those words I could not pronounce, and began to understand something of what I was reading. By the time I had read to Deuteronomy, I was convinced I was a condemned sinner, only fit for hell. I realized I had not kept God’s commandments, and had sinned against God, blaspheming His holy Name, which made me altogether unfit for God’s presence.
Finally, my wife returned home, and we had tea, which I had made ready for her, after the long journey. While sitting at the table, she asked me how I had managed. I said, “Very well.” She inquired, “Did you ever go through the gate?” I answered, “No.” She said, “How ever did you pass the time?” I replied, “have found out that I am a condemned sinner, and only fit for hell. I don’t know where you are going, but that is where I am going.”
Two days later I attended a stock sale at M―, arriving home late in the afternoon. My wife came out and said, “Come along and have a cup of tea.” I replied, “I have no time now. I must get away to milk”; but she answered, “Come on. There is a man here who will tell you whether you are going to hell or not.” I said, “You tell that man to be very careful he is not going there himself, because I do not know anyone who has kept the commandments and loved God as He commands.” Just as I was turning away, Mr. H― came out and said, “Come and have a cup of tea.” I had not met Mr. H― previously. After having the tea, he asked me to come into the sitting-room with him. I said, “No, don’t try to convince me that you can do anything for me, for you cannot. I have not kept the commandments, and I have sinned against God, and this lies between God and me. No man knows how I have sinned; only God knows.” Mr. H― asked if he might come out one night during the week. I said, “Come every night if you wish, but not to convince me that you can do anything for me, and be careful you are not going the same way as I am.” It was arranged that he should come out on the Friday night. This he did, and brought Mr. C. J. M―with him.
They both laughed when I told them I knew no one who was going to be saved. I was certain that nothing could be done for me. I was sure I deserved the punishment that was to come. However, these two brothers turned to the New Testament and read different scriptures showing how the Saviour died on Calvary’s Cross for sinners such as me, the Lord Jesus being my Substitute. Romans 10:99That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (Romans 10:9); John 10:1111I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. (John 10:11); John 6:3737All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37); Hebrews 10, and many other scriptures were read. After talking for over an hour, they asked me how I felt. I said, “I am quite certain that the Lord Jesus was my Substitute, and through His love and mercy bled and died for me.”
Thus after a life of fifty years in the service of Satan, I was led as a lost sinner to the blessed Saviour. There was one thing that struck me most forcibly. Having been a manager on a station away in the back-blocks, and having to do with the mustering of sheep and managing of dogs, I had acquired the prevalent evil habit of cursing and swearing and blaspheming God. I had others working under me, whose language also was fearful. I could not rebuke them for I could not control myself. When I came out into more settled parts, my wife told me I should have to moderate my language or I should find myself in jail; but it was all of no use. I was helpless in the matter; but the very first day of my conversion I got down before the Lord, and asked Him never to let such a word again escape my lips, and from that day to this He has kept me. That was twenty-two years ago, and in that time He has taught me many precious things. He has shown me my place at His table, and enabled me to take it, and given me grace to abide there. He has enabled me to commence a Sunday school in my district, and also tell out the gospel there. He has recovered me from a severe sickness, and granted to me a wonderful degree of health of body. To Him be all the praise! A.G.