IT was in the autumn of 18— that I was first requested to visit Madame Z—. The friend who asked me had just come from her, and he said that he was very anxious for her salvation. He had been speaking to her, and thought she was in an inquiring state.
He told me further that she was a stranger in E—, being a French woman; had lost her husband, who was an officer, in an engagement, and was in very delicate health. All this made him much interested in her, but having to leave E—himself, he could not again see her.
I took an early opportunity of paying her my first visit. She received me very kindly, and I found her a most refined and interesting woman.
She spoke English so well, that you could scarcely have discovered her to be a foreigner.
Several other languages she spoke also, as I found afterward. She had traveled a great deal, and seemed to know everything so well, that I could not summon courage to speak to her upon the one subject which was the object of my visit.
When I returned home I felt deeply humbled and dissatisfied with myself, while, I thought, how could Mr. — ever send me to that lady.
I cannot speak to her. So interesting, and knowing all about earthly things so much better than I did, I feared she would be insulted at the thought that I was seeking to teach her.
I waited about a week before calling upon her again. This time, however, I was determined that come what would, I would speak to her plainly. Accordingly, after inquiring kindly about her health, I at once began, and spoke to her of the new birth, and the necessity of knowing our true state before God. I no sooner touched the subject than the Lord gave me the most perfect liberty in speaking to her, while at the same time all reserve was taken away from Madame Z—, and she poured out her whole heart to me. There had been a wall, as it were, between us, but now the barrier was taken away, and what a lesson does it not teach us. How many may be longing and yearning after the living water, and we shrink in our unfaithfulness from showing the way to the fountain.
She told me all about her past life, how earth's streams had been embittered, and dried up for her. She who had known and tasted of all the pleasures of the world, as few had done. She had found earth's cisterns to be truly broken cisterns, which could hold no water.
She thirsted now for the water of life. As she herself expressed it, “I have gone from place to place, and from church to chapel, I have conversed with clergymen and others in many parts of Europe with regard to the salvation of my soul, but I don't know yet, what it means to be born again. One clergyman to whom I spoke advised me to take the sacrament, but it did me no good. I was as far from peace as ever.”
She had prayed for pardon, and prayed for mercy, she had read her Bible, but she could not say she was reconciled to God.
“And all things are of God who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given unto us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them, and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.”
“Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us we pray you in Christ's stead be ye reconciled to God.”
I showed her from these verses that while she had been praying for mercy, and praying for pardon, God was here beseeching her to receive it. "Now," I continued, “these are not my words. I have God's authority for beseeching you to be reconciled. He hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
“The Lord Jesus is not here in person now, but He sends His servants with His own word to you. This is the glad tidings. Instead of you having to plead with God, He is now beseeching you to be reconciled, and He can do this righteously. As we see in verse 21, ‘For he hath made him to be sin for us who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.'
“You tell me that you have been seeking to be at peace with God for years: and all the while God has been beseeching you to be reconciled.”
I then read the first two verses of the following chapter:—
“We, then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that you receive not the grace of God in vain.”
“For behold now is the accepted time, behold now is the day of salvation.”
“Now," I continued, " how could you receive the grace of God in vain?
“When a thing is offered to you, and you do not accept it, you receive it in vain. And when is God beseeching you, to be reconciled?
It is Now. This present moment. There is not a promise for to-morrow, in five minutes you might be in eternity.
“Let us turn now, to 1 John 5, and you will see something further.
‘Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ, is born of God.' "Now," I said, "you may have some difficulty to know whether you have the right kind of belief.”
She said this was a difficulty with her. She thought the faith that saved people was some peculiar kind of faith. She had been more occupied with her faith than with the object upon which her faith was to rely.
I then read on at verse 9, “If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater; for this is the witness for God which he hath testified of his Son.”
“This shows that you are to believe the witness of God in the very same way, that you receive the witness of men. With this difference that you keep in mind, that man's word may fail, but God's word NEVER.”
I read on.
“He that believeth on the Son, hath the witness in himself, he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave, of His Son, and this is the record that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.”
“These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God., that ye may know that ye have eternal life.
“Now," I said to her, “Do you believe all those Scriptures I have been reading with you.
Those in 2 Cor. 5. about pardon and reconciliation, and those in 1 John 5 with regard to eternal life?”
“I do," but she added," I have always expected to feel some great change in my heart.”
“That is," I said," you have been looking for an evidence that you were born again within you, and all the while passing over the testimony of God in His Word, the reception of which would have filled you with joy.
Suppose you were in great difficulties, and someone told you that a large estate had just been left to you, you would not rejoice over it until you believed it to be true. It is the same with the Gospel. These Scriptures are my title deeds for my eternal inheritance. There may be flaws in earthly title deeds, but in these, NEVER. If you were to tell me that you knew you were saved because you were happy, I should think you were building upon a very bad foundation. Happy feelings are as changeable as the wind. We may be happy to day, and unhappy tomorrow, but God's Word never changes.
“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but MY WORD shall not pass away." I sought to meet every difficulty by the written word, and again calling her attention to 1 John 5:1010He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son. (1 John 5:10). “He that believeth not God hath made him a liar.”
I asked her if she were going to continue doing this by not believing His testimony.
“No;" she said, " I will do so no more, I do believe His word.”
“You will not wait till you feel something.”
“No, I will trust Him now.”
“And what do you receive by doing so.”
“Pardon, and eternal life." She seemed to take it in with trembling, and I left her, for the Lord to perfect His own work, and truly He did, for when we net again she was filled with joy and gladness.”
“Oh!" she said, “I know now what it is to be born again. The whole world is changed to me. I am just like a little child beginning to live. My whole past life has been wasted, but, henceforth I want to live only for Christ.”
It was, indeed, passing from death unto life, Old things had passed away, ALL had become new. Her only sorrow was, that she had not known Him sooner, and her cry was like one of old who said, " Lord, what wilt thou have me to do.”
Her delight in the Scriptures was refreshing to witness, every word seemed to come with such power, and was so real to her, that it made it all come with new power to my own soul. The knowledge of what she had got in Christ and how she was quickened together, raised together, and seated together in heavenly places in Him, filled her with praise and thanksgiving. And her joy literally overflowed as with all the vivacity of her country she spoke of the things of God.
One day she said to me, “I had such a striking dream the other night. I thought I was walking on a road which was covered with all manner of rubbish. As I walked, it gradually became more and more difficult to walk on, so rough and rugged. Then some One came, and taking hold of my hand, led me over the rough road into a beautiful garden. I thought I was just a little child, and he brought me to a number of others, each of whom held in their hand a bit of bread. They were all clothed in pure white. All around there flowed fountains of clear water.
The one who led me there placed in my hand a bit of bread, saying, ‘Now I must leave you, but in a little while I shall come again.' At this I felt so sorry, and in the distress of seeing him leave me I awoke.
“That road covered with rubbish is the world with all its pride and vanity," she went on; “then it became more rugged through trials, and sorrows which followed. But the Lord came and led me out of it all, and brought me to a place of rest and safety; gave me the bread of life upon which I am to feed in His absence, as I walk by faith down here, not by sight.
“He that eateth this bread shall live forever.'”
She had only intended to be in E—for a few months, but one day she said to me, “Although France is the land of my birth, this has been the land where I have been born again, and now I shall not leave it. I have few friends there, and none of them have been to me what you have been.”
I was very glad when she told me this, as I was deeply attached to her, but far more than that, there was the deeper fellowship of the Spirit which made a stronger bond than any earthly tie could have done.
It was her desire to spend the rest of her life for the glory of God, and she had a path of service for Christ in view, but the Lord had planned it otherwise.
Her health had been delicate for some time, but after her conversion had seemed to improve; but as autumn began to pass away, and the cold damp of winter to set in she grew worse. The little while she was left down here soon passed; but as it passed, her beautiful walk, her kind thoughtful care of may whom she could in any way help, shone out more and more, until she passed away to be forever with the Lord. Amongst her last words to the one who waited upon her, as she wished her to take a little wine, were these: “No, no, nothing more of earth," gently pushing aside the hand that held it to her, " I am just feeding upon the blood of Christ.”
Reader, do you know what it is to “eat the flesh and drink the blood of the Son of man"?
Many of old said, “This is a hard saying; who can hear it?" And, "Many also went back and walked no more with him.”
Professor, do ye know anything of this?
Jesus says: “Except ye eat the flesh and drink the blood of the Son of man, ye have no life in you." “Whoso eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.
“For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood dwelleth in me and I in him." J. D.