The lack of discipline, whether of one’s self or in connection with others, has often been a problem in this world’s history. Ever since the fall, man by his very nature has been self-centered and often lazy. Although the hard work brought about by the fall was a real burden to man — “in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread” (Gen. 3:1919In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. (Genesis 3:19)) — it was also a great mercy, for it necessitated self-discipline. This in turn kept man from the indulging of his sinful lusts, at least to some extent. But when the blessing of God brought ease and luxury, the resultant lack of discipline brought many problems to the surface.
The Abundance Effect
Before the Lord destroyed the world by the flood of Noah, we read that the earth was filled with violence and corruption. Later, in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, there was an abundance of food, a pleasant climate, and relative ease. All this contributed to the decadent and immoral lifestyle that existed there before God destroyed those cities because of their wickedness. In many parts of the Western world today, these conditions have once again been duplicated, with similar, disastrous results. This is not to imply that wealth always produces laziness and a lack of discipline, but it makes fertile ground for such entities to flourish. Wealth has a tendency to produce a sense of entitlement, which then pervades society, and this in turn leads to the lack of proper discipline, first of adults, and then of their children.
The Harsh Effect
Sad to say, sometimes discipline in the past was harsh and abusive, and this created real problems, for children subjected to this kind of treatment sometimes tended to grow up aggressive and anti-social, with real rebellion in their hearts. Even if this did not happen, those children, when they become adults, often harbored a lifelong resentment towards their parents and others involved in their harsh upbringing. As a reaction to this, modern society in most Western countries has gone to the other extreme, virtually abandoning good discipline, not only in the home, but also in schools. It is rather interesting to observe that children treated in this way often grow up with the same aggressive and rebellious behavior that results from overly harsh discipline.
Human Wisdom
Those of us who grew up in the world of 60+ years ago have seen the gradual and sometimes precipitous decline in both self-discipline and the discipline of children, with its bad results. But there is more involved than mere wealth and ease. For the past 50-60 years, there has also been a giving up of God and His Word, with the result that human wisdom has replaced the wisdom of God. This is tantamount to someone’s purchasing a new appliance or machine and then proceeding to throw away the instruction manual and to substitute his own ideas of how to operate and maintain it. Modern books and magazines that presume to give parents advice on how to raise children decry corporal punishment for the most part and substitute advice which does not, in many cases, hold the child accountable for his conduct. At the same time, it has become rather fashionable to blame our shortcomings and failures on everything and everyone but ourselves, thus laying the groundwork for the bad behavior to be repeated.
We are well aware of the difficulties that ensue, as we see even young children defy parents and teachers and treat them with contempt instead of respect. For the most part, schools are now prohibited from physically punishing or even restraining children who misbehave, and they can only, as a last resort, expel them for a time. In a recent case in the United States, police were called by a particular school because of an episode of violence with which they were unable to cope. When those involved refused to obey verbal commands, the police proceeded to handcuff the culprits, which then resulted in a lawsuit by the parents. Even worldly people are wondering where all this will end.
Authority
What then is the answer? First of all, we must recognize that all authority ultimately comes from God. God has established authority in this world, whether in government, in the home, or in the house of God. Such authority is to be respected, not only for its own sake, but because God has set it up. When God is lost sight of, and even His existence challenged, then respect for all authority breaks down. This is the first degenerate step. God will hold responsible those whom He has placed in such positions of authority and leadership, as to how they have exercised this authority before Him, for along with authority from God comes the responsibility to use that authority to accomplish the purpose for which God gave the authority.
God’s Wisdom
Second, we must recognize, as believers, that “through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord,” “His divine power has given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:2-3). Paul also reminds us that “in Him [the Lord Jesus Christ] dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in Him” (Col. 2:9-109For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. 10And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: (Colossians 2:9‑10)). In any moral or spiritual subject, man’s wisdom can add nothing to the wisdom of God. In fact, God’s wisdom is always the opposite of man’s wisdom. We must bear this in mind, for whenever man’s thoughts are not founded on the Word of God, in any moral or spiritual matter, he always thinks in a wrong way.
Balance
Third, we must remember that God’s Word, far from teaching the abuse of children on the one hand or laxity and permissiveness on the other hand, gives us a perfect balance. The Word of God teaches us proper discipline, first of all of ourselves, and then of others under our authority. We must recognize that ultimately all of us are under authority, for only God is supreme. The word “discipline” is similar to the word “disciple,” which means to teach and to guide. This should be the proper attitude of all who find themselves in a position of authority. We must also remember that we teach much more by example than by either word of mouth or corrective measures.
The Rod and Reproof
On the one hand, the Word of God strongly advocates strong and consistent discipline of children. We read in Proverbs that “the rod and reproof give wisdom” (Prov. 29:1515The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Proverbs 29:15)), and both are needed. Instruction should be given to the child, bringing in the authority of the Lord and His Word, but punishment is needed occasionally too. This is the wisdom of God. Corporal punishment need not always be used, for it is right to “make the punishment fit the crime,” but to assume that we can raise children without any physical punishment is not of God. Corporal punishment instills a memory that nothing else can. However, God’s Word guards against abuse, for it says, “Chasten thy son, seeing there is hope, but set not thy soul upon killing him” (Prov. 19:1818Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Proverbs 19:18) JND). Likewise, we read in the New Testament, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:44And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) JND).
Rebellion
A lack of discipline in younger children has far-reaching effects, for it is in their younger years that the character of children is largely formed. This is when serious bad tendencies, such as rebellion, anger, disobedience and lying, should be dealt with and “nipped in the bud.” The longer such behavior is allowed to go on, the more difficult it will be to correct it later. Today, for example, we see children being put into special classes or given special help for “anger management.” We fully recognize that some individuals have a harder time than others in dealing with certain sins, but this only emphasizes that firmness and consistency are needed in dealing with these issues when they are young. Parents must be willing to persist until the battle is won, not give up when one or two punishments are not effective. Usually at least one major “battle” must be fought when the child is very young, but once it is won, it becomes easier as time goes on. An older brother, long since with the Lord, used to remark that in a normal Christian home, most of the spankings will be administered before the child is three years old. After that, the child may surely have the tendency to sin, but the child’s will is already shaped and the spirit of rebellion largely gone. We are, of course, speaking in a general way; this may not happen in every case.
Preparation
Under normal circumstances, the discipline of children is intended to prepare them to be able to discipline themselves as adults. But children who are not disciplined by parents and teachers when they are young grow up with a self-willed and rebellious attitude, and while the outward behavior may change with maturity, the bad attitude remains. As a result, the world (at least the Western world) now has a large population that is unable or unwilling to discipline itself. Self-will has become rampant, and this is the real essence of sin. According to the Word of God, sin is simply lawlessness; it is the doing of our own will, without regard to God’s claims. In adult life the sin becomes greater and more serious, resulting in generalized rudeness and self-centeredness, coupled, of course, with violence and corruption. The children and grandchildren of such people will turn out much the same, for we cannot teach our children what we have not learned ourselves.
In summary, then, let us be aware of how far the world has departed from the principles of the Word of God. We should not be surprised at this, for God has told us that the world will become worse and worse, until finally God brings down His judgment on it. But we should be willing to stand out from the world and to exercise that needed discipline, first of all on ourselves, and then on others who may be under our authority. God will surely give us the needed grace and wisdom to do this, if we look to Him.
W. J. Prost