NO. 1. (Written just before departing to be with Christ)
..... I have been struck how calmly and with what dignity the Lord can appropriate all He needs to use, down here: the upper room for the Passover; and the colt for the triumphant ride into Jerusalem; there was no questioning, if the Master had need. I love to think of that dignity and the lordship of that dignity of His, as walked down here; yet withal so condescending and pitiful; and to think," this same Jesus" is ours now, but risen and seated at God's right hand, exalted high " above all that is named," both, in heaven and on earth.
What a wonderful, soothing effect His blessed presence has upon us; like a troubled child, laying its head upon its parent's bosom. When I feel nervous and breathless, at times, I shut my eyes, get close to Him, as it were, and what felt relief it gives me; there is reality in it. Oh, if poor worldlings only knew the power of faith, its soul-comfort, they would not have so, much to say about sight!
My poor body has felt very weak lately, but He has kept my spirits cheered by the sense of His sustaining love. I got all ready to go to meeting, yesterday morning, but felt I could not trust my strength, so had to give it up. Well, He was enjoyed at home, in a feeble measure, over His dear, precious word.
“Helpless! Yes, so helpless, but I am leaning hard,
Upon the arm of JESUS, and He is keeping guard."
Our weakness and feebleness draw us closer to the side of the strong One, where we know we cannot weary, or overdraw on " His riches in glory."
Well, we are hastening home to the Father's house to see His face, and enjoy the fullness of His grace.
With much love to you both, affectionately, Your sister in Christ,
No. 2. (Written Fast After the Departure to Be With the Lord of the Writer of No. 1.)
My dear brother....
I have already written you, as to the near approach of our beloved one's departure. I have
now to tell you, that she peacefully fell asleep in Jesus, at midnight of Wednesday.
Truly, brother, this was a triumphant death-bed; a name, in fact, she refused to give it, saying, it was no death-bed to her, as she was just beginning to live; longing to go, not merely to be delivered from a pain-racked body, but to be in His presence;
One she had learned to love, to know so deeply and in such a personal, loving way.
I cannot tell you, 'in the compass of a letter, of all the fullness of spiritual power, which went to fill up the last few days of her sojourn, amongst us all. Those who partook of that fullness can testify of that peculiar power, making the things unseen so real and living, as if she were already in full possession of them. Never will these days be forgotten by any who stood by her bedside, and heard the breathing of a soul in deepest communion with what was all heavenly, the love of the Father, the glory and preciousness of the Lord Jesus, the infinite gain of being "with. Him," and yet withal, at times, giving a personal word of exhortation, which seemed to pierce through the heart, so much to the point and appropriate was it. A tear never dimmed her eyes, or tremor of emotion shook her voice. " Tears," she said, " are for the valley, not for the lambs feeding on the mountain tops. I am not in the valley."
All the tears, which came from a heart breaking from things here, had been shed long ago, in ' the deep and solitary exercises of a soul, struggling with its Lord, but gaining the victory, and receiving in compensation abundantly and richly of His grace, so that the heart overflowed in its fullness. All this was told, for the first time, as she lay now on her bed, about to go home, but having a testimony to deliver, concerning the goodness of the Lord and the necessity for all to deal faithfully with Him. Her tears had all been dried. She had shed many. Who knows what that dear soul had passed through, in moments of solitary dealings with God: with things here, on the one hand, which were of necessity being taken from her; and, on the other, things dependent on her state, her powers with God to obtain them being taken away.
To my heart there is something touching in this. It was a character of suffering, which was beyond my power to alleviate. Yet I could never bear the thought of her suffering in any way. But it was God she had to do with, not a weak husband, however much he may have loved her; and it was God in the fullness of His power and resources, who was to meet that troubled, suffering heart.
This is my comfort now, though it adds to the sorrow of my heart. In her presence, we were made to feel that our tears were for ourselves, and out of place if for her. It was a strange kind of experience: there was a vessel, the very expression of weakness, of suffering; an object that worked on our sympathies, in the deepest way; and yet one who, we felt, was master of the situation and above our sympathies. She was the ministering spirit;. we were the silent participators in what poured forth from those lips in words clearly and distinctly uttered; pointed, precise and perfectly chosen. Yet the manner of her speaking was peculiar: the words were uttered in the exhalations of her breath, and never seemed to weary' her in the least. All who came, she insisted on seeing, and we felt it to be wrong to keep any out. Then for a time came the dreadful rough, which shook the wasted form, and seemed to draw the last remnant of vital force remaining; and then the prostration and reviving; but in all there was exhibited the most wonderful patience, and the prayer was often uttered, "O Lord, more grace, that I may not dishonor Thy precious name." The words of Scripture seemed to live on her lips.
O, dear brother, I cannot write all, it is too much; but I wished to give you a little idea of how glorious and blessed was the death, if we can call it such, of this dear saint. And in this I feel that it is not as of a wife I speak, but as of one, the Lord Himself had loved; one, too, to whom He had made His love known in a peculiar manner.
Your afflicted brother in Christ