It has been estimated that at any given time in the world, there are approximately one billion people connected to the Internet. Of this number, some are either conducting business or simply sharing information with friends. It is shocking to realize, however, that fully one-half are involved with various websites, chat rooms, and individuals, seeking the love and companionship that they do not have. Such is the state of this world, that at any given time five hundred million people are seeking relief from the loneliness and heartache that envelopes them. Technology has revolutionized communication in the past few years; jet travel has made it possible for people to visit one another as never before; increased wealth has enabled some parts of the world to have a lifestyle unparalleled in world history; yet the problem of unsatisfied affections remains larger than ever.
The search for love is nothing new; the American musician and songwriter Stephen Foster expressed it nearly 150 years ago in his song, “No One to Love”:
“Dark is the soul that has nothing to
dwell on!
How sad must its brightest hours
prove!
Lonely the dull brooding spirit must
be
That has no one to cherish and love.”
Although it is extremely doubtful that Stephen Foster ever turned to the Lord for salvation (he died before he was forty), the song expresses a fundamental human need — the need for a relationship. The song is entitled “No One to Love,” but in the world of today, the search has perhaps degenerated even farther, for many today are wanting someone to show love to them, rather than searching for someone to whom they might show love. While most would probably say that they are more than willing to show love, the fact remains that the natural human heart more frequently responds to love rather than initiates it. Even when love is shown, it may not be true love, for underlying motives and secret agendas frequently complicate what passes for love.
When God created man, He said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness” (Gen. 1:2626And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. (Genesis 1:26)). Because of his likeness to his Creator, man has both the capacity and the need for love and a relationship. What a privilege this is, and how thankful we should be that God has given this dimension to our being! In innocence in the Garden of Eden, man had a relationship with God, but then God in His goodness saw that “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:1818And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18)). He then created the woman, who was to complement him, and thus man had the companionship of his Creator and the woman whom God had given him.
The fall of man caused him to hide among the trees of the garden, for his happy fellowship with God had been spoiled. More than this, the entry of sin into this world has seriously affected relationships among the human race, and particularly the marriage relationship. As another has aptly remarked,
“We must never be naive enough to think of marriage as a safe harbor from the fall. ... The deepest struggles of life will occur in the most primary relationship affected by the fall — marriage.”
One of the most serious consequences of the fall has been to make fallen man self-centered, and thus primarily a taker, instead of a giver, like his Creator. While there are doubtless happy friendships and marriages even among unregenerate people, the fact remains that relationships and friendships in this world are often unpredictable and disappointing. The result of all this is a continual (but usually fruitless) seeking after that elusive person who will ultimately answer all our needs and make us happy.
What Is the Answer?
We read in Ecclesiastes 3:1111He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11), “Also He [God] hath set the world in their heart.” The word here translated “world” could be translated “the infinite” or “the eternal,” showing us that man was created for eternity, and not merely for time. For this reason only God can fill the human heart. Ecclesiastes is the ultimate reflection of a man (Solomon) who had tried everything and who had to conclude that it was all vanity and pursuit of the wind. He found that neither material things nor human relationships offered any lasting peace.
However, the God who made man can fill the heart, for He created it so that only He could fill it. God wants a relationship with His creature and has made a way so that fellowship can be restored, in spite of the fall. Through Christ and His work on the cross, God has made propitiation for sin, so that “mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other” (Psa. 85:1010Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. (Psalm 85:10)). Man can now be reconciled to God and have, not merely the relationship that was present in the Garden of Eden, but a much closer and more intimate one.
“Though our nature’s fall in Adam
Seemed to shut us out from God,
Thus it was His counsel brought us
Nearer still, through Jesus’ blood.”
The heart that is continually disappointed and unfulfilled by material things and human relationships can now be filled with God Himself; the heart made for eternity can be satisfied by the One who inhabits eternity.
New Relationship
This new relationship with God Himself has its effect on human relationships too, for we read, “We love because He has first loved us” (1 John 4:1919The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. (John 4:19) JND). Man in Christ now has the capacity for divine love — you have a love that can keep on loving, even if the object of that love does not respond in the right way. For this reason human relationships among those in Christ can now take on new dimensions and have a deeper and more fulfilling character, because they are now viewed in the light of God’s character and God’s love.
We all recognize that even believers still possess a sinful fallen nature—what Scripture refers to as “the flesh.” Since it never improves, it can cause even a true believer to do all those things characteristic of an unbeliever, if it is allowed to act. It is a sad commentary on the Christian testimony that relationships among believers are all too often characterized by the activity of the flesh, instead of the new life we have in Christ. However, the best of human relationships, even within the framework of Christianity, will never be perfect down here and will always disappoint in some way. The believer who recognizes this will continually draw near to the Lord, to walk in fellowship and intimacy with Him, while seeking by grace to bring the spirit of Christ into every human relationship, whether with believers or in his contact with the world. His heart, fully satisfied with Christ, can reach out to others, while waiting for that eternal day when every relationship will be perfect.
W. J. Prost