Although much has been said about my strength and determination, I don’t see it that way. I did not have the strength or the determination to do this journey. No one does. I was in an impossible situation and I knew it. At least three times during the night I was about to lose consciousness and die. As you have read, I reached points during the night, especially the one around 9:00 p.m., where I knew I could not do it anymore.
Unequivocally, absolutely no way. Not another stroke, not another kick.
Many have said, with regard to my survival, “You are one lucky man.” Here again, I take issue with using the word “luck.” I don’t believe in luck. If I were lucky, would I not have stayed on board the boat? Regained my balance and remained dry? That would have been luck. So, then, was I unlucky that I fell? The accident was caused by my failure to check the pelican clasp when I boarded EspŽrance. If I had locked the pelican clasp properly and checked it like I should have, this accident would never have happened. As far as I am concerned, being unlucky or lucky has nothing to do with the events of the evening.
To emphasize my point, I would like to quote John C. Maxwell from his book, Failing Forward. “I don’t put much stock in the idea of luck. I think that usually things go well or not so well for people based on their actions — working hard, practicing self-discipline, remaining persistent. Add to that the blessings of a loving God, and you don’t need to think about luck.”
Yes, the blessings of a loving God. Had I had proper faith in God, had I had proper faith in what He told me at the beginning of the swim, perhaps I would have taken encouragement in that, but I did not. I am a realist. I did not believe that God was speaking to me. I knew where I was, I knew what was required and I understood human capabilities. I also clearly understood the realities of hypothermia. Without the grace of God, I did not believe anyone could swim over four miles in freezing water without a life jacket. I knew I couldn’t. I am very muscularly dense with low body fat. If I stop swimming, I sink.