The book of Nehemiah closes with Nehemiah once again having to address intermarriages. The people’s indifference to separation was such that their unions with those of Ashdod, Ammon and Moab had resulted in households where the children could no longer speak fluent Hebrew. Surely this is no less an important lesson for us today. God calls friendship with the world adultery (James 4:4). Has our lack of separation resulted in households where our children walk and talk the language of the world? Appearing or sounding different may be hard for us all, but it is especially so when we are young. Our children will not go beyond the example we set. It is our natural tendency to be drawn to those things that please the flesh. Worldliness has been Satan’s most successful tactic in diluting the testimony of the church. Those natural desires within us, and Satan’s temptations without are a deadly combination.
We don’t, however, need to look for spiritual applications to this principle of an unequal yoke; the very thing itself is no more appropriate in Christianity than it was under law. Paul, in writing to the Corinthians, says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?” (2 Cor. 6:14-15). A marriage between a believer and unbeliever is never contemplated in Scripture. It may be that a partner is saved after marriage — this Paul addresses (1 Cor. 7) — but to deliberately enter such a union can only lead to unhappiness. Worse still, children that result from such a marriage are frequently stumbled by the parents’ behavior — the unbelief on the one hand and the disobedience on the other. Such a marriage is a union of mixed principles (Amos 3:3).
In Nehemiah’s day the unbelieving spouses turned aside their partners — it is no less the case in our day. To imagine that one is going to change the heart of a husband or wife after marriage is a foolish and dangerous thought. Such willfulness will yield the fruit of disobedience. If there is true repentance and humility, then it may be even as David said: “Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me ... ?” (2 Sam. 12:22). Solomon is presented as an example; there was no king like him. He was beloved of God, “but even him did foreign wives cause to sin” (Neh. 13:26 JND). We should not imagine that we are wiser than Solomon; worse yet, when we discount God’s word, we act as if we are wiser than God.
In such matters, the assembly also bares a responsibility. A grandson of the high priest had married the daughter of Sanballat, the Horonite; therefore Nehemiah chased him away (Neh. 13:28). This man had no place in the priesthood. We also read, “Thus cleansed I them from all strangers, and appointed the wards of the priests and the Levites, every one in his business” (Neh. 13:30). We do not call down fire upon the heads of those who bring defilement into the assembly, but it is necessary to pastor them, reprove, and, where necessary, deal with the sin.