ABOUT thirty-three years ago I was converted; as the Scriptures say, I was turned from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God.
I pleased myself until I was eighteen, having no other object than this world and its pursuits, though when the thought of God crossed my mind I was miserable, because I knew that I was not at peace with Him. About this time I went to live at a business house at B—. One day an acquaintance came in to have a cup of tea. Four of us were sitting at the same table; two were Christians, and two were not. I well remember the occasion. The chief topic of the others was the Lord and His preciousness, and their conversation caused me and my companion much merriment. The oldest of the two held up a little book, the title of which was, “My Jesus,” and looking at me, she said, “My Jesus, can you say that?” I forget what answer I returned, but I could never forget it. I saw that she possessed something that I was a stranger to, and whatever it was it made her happy.
A short time after this the friend who worked with me went to a large hall at K—, where religious meetings were held, or rather where the gospel of the grace of God was faithfully preached. I noticed a great change in him. In the night on different occasions I have wakened up and found him reading the Bible. He had been truly converted. Soon after this I yielded to a pressing invitation to go and hear the gospel preached, and never shall I forget it. A black man preached, a faithful servant of Christ. I could not tell you the scripture he read, nor any of his words, but I remember after the meeting was over, when I got home, I felt for the first time in my life that I was “lost,” and that hell with all its torments would be my portion. So real was all this that I could not sleep, I was afraid I should die, and knew that if I did I should be like the man who “died and was buried, and in hell he lift up his eyes,” &c. So awful was the thought that my trembling shook the bed. My companion could not sleep either, and asked me what was the matter. I told him. He tried to console me by quoting scriptures, but there was no peace for me that night. How true God’s Word is, “No peace, saith my God, to the wicked.”
During the next few days, if anything, I was more miserable. I was in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity, a sinner ready to perish. But blessed be God! as one morning I was about to open the office, I bent my head on my arms and prayed the prayer of the publican, “God be merciful to me, a sinner,” concluding with the words, “through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Then I saw that I was saved, and my sins were forgiven through what He had done. I was completely taken out of self and my own thoughts, faith had come by hearing God’s Word, and I saw clearly that Christ had glorified God, and that it was He who had been made sin (He who knew no sin), that I might be made the righteousness of God in Him; in fact that He had done everything, and that there was nothing for me to do, only to thank God for a finished work and His great salvation, and I believed, and was saved. Oh, what a relief it was to my sin-burdened conscience! Joy filled my soul. I saw that Christ was my Saviour, and that God was my Father, and that I was accepted in the Beloved. I remember in the freshness of my new-found joy I hurried downstairs and told my friend that I had got it at last. “Got what?” he said. “I have got peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,” and we did praise God together.
Years have rolled away, but like the eunuch of old, I have gone on my way rejoicing, possessed of what the world cannot give nor take away. If this narrative should fall into the hands of an anxious unsaved one, I hope that it will be a help to such a one, and that God will be pleased to use it if only to one precious soul, for remember, friend, that “except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” You are lost and dead in sins by nature, that which is born of the flesh is flesh, you cannot change it, you must be born again. But “this is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.”
R. A. B.