I spent my happy childhood under the care and love of a Christian father and mother. I may say, grandfather and grandmother also, for although they both died when I was a child of seven, I never can forget some of the words they spoke to me, or the beautiful old age they had, all so loving-and full of joy.
I had a pet dog whose name was “Prince,” and being an only child, with no brothers or sisters, Prince was my playmate. I spent many an hour playing with and talking to Prince; who seemed to understand all that I said to him, and to take a real interest in all that I did.
One day I was sitting with Prince by my side, and the thought came into my mind—where will Prince be when he dies? I ran off to ask my mother, and she took me up on her knee and told me the difference between my pet dog and me. I remember with what eagerness I listened to my dear mother’s story, and how I learned that day, that I, having a soul and spirit, would live forever, and not cease to be, like a dog when he dies.
That conversation I never forgot, and young though I was, I believe I was then convinced of my need of a Saviour, and was never really at rest after that, until I came to Jesus and believing in Him was saved. That one thought of having something in me that would always live, and never cease to be, kept me thinking about God and the great eternal world often during my early years.
One day Prince died, and I cried for the loss of my play-mate, but I remembered that when Prince died he was done with, and had no life beyond, as I would have after death. I lost my mother, and two years later my dear father went to be with Christ. I was then left an orphan in the world. Life did seem a blank to me, and often I sat on my parents’ grave, and wished I could join them in their happy home above.
That early lesson of my childhood came back to me with great power, and with it the question, Where will you live forever? I knew that saved ones go to God’s holy heaven, as my mother had often told me. Although familiar with the Gospel story from my earliest years, yet I had no personal assurance that I was Christ’s. The day on which I was brought to a decision, will ever be a memorable one to me. It was the anniversary of my mother’s death, and I was looking over some of her gifts to me when a child, and found among them several leaflets and papers in her handwriting. Everything belonging to her was sacred to me, for the remembrance of her happy life was ever with me. On a slip of paper she had written the words,
“No refuge, no safety in self could I see,
Jeltovah-Tsidkenu my Saviour must be.”
I learned afterward it was part of the hymn written by Robert Murray M.’Cheyne of Dundee, telling of his conversion in early years. I had tried to find rest but it was in “self,” and it had failed. I had tried to live a Christian, but in my own righteousness. There I saw how my mother confessed her trust in Jehovah-Tsidkenu—”The Lord is our righteousness” alone. I wept at the remembrance of her, and kneeling down there all alone, tinder the eye of God, I accepted Christ as my Saviour, and yielded myself up to Him, to be His then and forever. I had no shadow of doubt but that He received me, and that I was saved then and there. I commend the same Saviour to you with all my heart .
ML 10/02/1938