Open—T. Ruga, P. Daplyn, T. Roach
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25125.
It seems.
Confused.
I was straight to us all, lived around with Saints.
To the following forever.
I praise.
My spirit.
The smile to the sunlight, Grace.
And the world can help every day.
Shine.
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God our Father, we thank you for this opportunity to come together and.
Wait before Thee, our Godfather, for a word for us. And we thank you for this opportunity to be here this weekend and be with others who have been called into the fellowship of my beloved son. We're waiting for his return and have a desire to please him. And we just pray now as we sit in my presence, our God and Father, that the prophet might speak two or three.
And that we would have a word given to us that would would.
Stir us up would give us my mind for us at this time.
We pray for courage, for perhaps one who is feeling.
Timid that has a burden from thee, our God and Father for us. We cry out to Thee for for help, because we need my mind for us, our God and Father at this time.
So we ask this and we commit this.
It's our head into Thy hands, our God and our Father, waiting on the direction of my Holy Spirit. So we ask this and pray in the name of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.
I have just a short word on my heart at the moment.
When we were at the camp just a couple weeks ago at Michigan.
We had many things before, so one of the things that we discussed was a question raised by young people about dating and marriage and subject came up as to who we should marry and a lot of things were said there which I personally enjoyed. What brethren had to say at that time, mostly involving what the scriptures say is to.
What a young man in particular should be looking for in a wife. And just to give one example of what was said there, the last verse of First Corinthians 7 speaks about the woman who's free to marry, but only in the Lord. And brother who's here made the point that it doesn't say only in Christ, because that would mean as a young Christian man, you're free to marry any young Christian woman.
It doesn't say that, but it says the Lord. And so the idea is that there's the Lords will for you as to who it is that you should marry. And I just wanted to say just a few short words to young people here who are up to that point where you're considering this. Although I believe that what's on my heart has a much wider application than that. So if we could just go to Proverbs chapter 30.
And.
And we'll just read.
2 verses there, verses 18 and 19.
Say there be three things.
Which are too wonderful for me. Yay for which I know not.
The way of an eagle in the air.
The way of a serpent upon a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, in the way of a man with a maid.
Now I'm going to say something that my brother shared years ago about this verse and for those of you who have heard me say it.
That will be good, perhaps to hear it passed on again.
Brother shared with us that these four things have something in common.
And what they have in common is very important on the subject.
If you look at these first three things, you say, how are they connected? I'm sure there are spiritual applications that can be drawn from them individually. But what he brought out at that time, what I want to say today, is that these things leave no path.
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The way of an eagle in the air.
You can see this bird move through the air and you can see that it has gone somewhere, but after it's gone.
There's not a path that is left behind that you can say that's where the eagle went. And so I can follow now that path for myself.
And the same with the.
Serpent on the rock, it goes across the rock and when it's gone, the rock is left there and you don't see a trail that you can follow to say I'm going to go the way the serpent went. And of course the ship in the sea as well, There's not a path that it followed. It's visible to the human eye. And when it's gone, the trail that it took is swallowed up. It's gone as well and you can't follow it with your eye.
And that is the point with the last thing is weigh as well the way of a man with a maid.
Now the brother who shared this thought with us was at a time many years ago, a number of us went to Bermuda.
The brother is here today.
And I'm glad he shared that with us. He wasn't married. He was a young man.
And he stood up a night when we all went out as young people and we had a hymn sing out on a hill that was very pleasant. And afterwards he got up and shared a little bit from the word of God. And I'm very grateful he did.
I was glad to get the help. He wasn't married then and I wasn't married then. My wife of now is there as well, and a number of others in this room. I'm sure they'll remember.
All right. Brother's here. He's been married many years. I've been married many years. And at least two others who are here. Couples who are here, married many years who are there.
But you can't follow our path, nor can you follow the path of.
Anyone else?
Who is gone ahead of you?
When it comes to this subject, and I'm glad for the brothers who stood up or spoke up at the Michigan camp and gave a lot of spiritual instruction as to what to do. They were mostly speaking about the word of God says this is what we should look for and this is what we should do. Things like Second Corinthians chapter 6 which say that.
That we cannot be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
The Word of God is very clear about definite objective instruction for us as believers that we have to put into practice in our lives. And so we can look at that kind of instruction from the Word of God and we can say that means may I must obey it, and that provides a bound.
But my exercise today is to say that's well and good, but you get to the end of that. And there's still the question now in the case of what I'm talking about, whom should I marry?
The scripture doesn't give the name of your wife, and the scripture doesn't give the name of your husband.
And so there's still the need for additional guidance.
And this verse the brother applied that way and always gratefully did.
And because there is a path that God knows and he knows individually what your path in my path should be. We're speaking about marriage, but we could also speak about.
Job or any of the other things that come up in life.
I said I just had a few more words, so let's just go to Proverbs 3 for the final ones that were on my heart.
Well known.
Someone said.
When it comes to marrying the right person.
It would probably be best if we waited until we were 90 or 100 years old.
Because you need a lot of wisdom if you're going to make a decision like that. And yet God hasn't called us to wait until we can get such wisdom as that as to who we're going to walk through life with.
Generally speaking, God calls us to marriage and when we're younger.
And to get that kind of wisdom isn't something that He's called us to do. Yes, we need to get wisdom from the Word of God.
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And we need to learn all we can, as early as we can, so that we can be guided by the Word of God.
But when we're done, there's still the need for something more, and I believe we have it here. Proverbs 3, the well known verses 5 and six. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
And all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy past.
The Lord knows the right one for you. He knows that path.
He's given very good guidance in the word.
But the details of it are known to him and I've often thought, and I've often suggested it too.
When it comes to this issue and indeed other issues of job and what have you.
Well, you need to spend a lot of time on our knees. We may not know who that one is, but we sure know the person who knows him.
We know him and we need to know him well.
We need to spend that time, young people, daily in the Word, yes, but daily on our knees too, asking the Lord for that guidance. He knows that path. We can't see it just any more than we can see it with the eagle, the serpent, or the ship, any more than we can see it with others who've gone on before us and hopefully left a good example. We can't see exactly how to follow that path because your path is different. God has a perfect plan marked out for you.
In your life and He knows it, and he's looking for you to be in that dependence on him, and so is his trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Those are two things that are hard to do. Trusting in the Lord with all our heart.
Perhaps I've never done that in my life, but I'm told to.
And I need to.
Sometimes I trust the Lord more than others, but trusting Him wholly? That's not easy to do because we're not people who are trusting people.
Even when I am trusting the Lord in some measure, there is still a degree in which I am leaning on my own understanding. I know, I know what's best for me and the thought that the Lord knows what's best for me and I might be completely mistaken. It's not something that I'm often very open to, and yet it's the truth.
And it's something we need to recognize that our own hearts are going to deceive us.
Every time.
And so.
We need to trust in Him with our hearts, but not be looking to our hearts or to our minds, not leaning on our understanding.
He says, in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.
And everything we do in our lives, we need to acknowledge him. This is so important because.
We have this desire in some way to please the Lord. If we're a believer, we have that desire. It's just something that He put within us. And yet oftentimes we get eyes or hearts that are divided. The Lord calls it the evil eye. Matthew Chapter 7, I believe.
Where there's one eye for the Lord and another eye for the world is not the single eye.
And so we get Into Darkness and confusion.
And when we get that way?
We're not going to know what the mind of the Lord is, and we are going to lean on our own understanding. We are going to follow our own heart and before you know it, we're going to make a mistake.
Very often early in life.
And young people, you make that mistake at the beginning of your life where you are now because you are careless or didn't spend that time with the Lord. You're going to live with it the rest of your life. So this is so important to get it right right now. And all thy ways acknowledge him. Starting right off in the morning. Take up the Word of God, open it up and read it like we've been exhorted to do already here in these meetings.
And really take that time with the Lord, seeking his mind first of all, and then speaking to him.
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Everything you do in the day following that, acknowledge him.
Put him first, give him the credit. Look to him.
Have that single eye for the Lord, and then it says.
He shall direct my path.
That path is marked. He knows it. It's uniquely there for you, and he'll make it just as plain as if the eagle left the trail behind him or the serpent left a mark right on that rock.
Or if the ship had left a plain path in the sea, the Lord will make your path just that, plain.
I just wanted to make some very brief comments about what her brother talked about.
Proverbs 30 there.
The way of a man with a maid.
No, and it's different for each one of us.
I know in my case.
When I met a girl.
Later he became my wife.
Something happened in Simon. Didn't happen before.
Which you know.
We were both before the Lord about it.
And.
We realize.
After quite a while.
We were going together for quite a while.
That we did have the Lord's mind, Mary.
And you know, that's a blessed thing. Now. I was 34 years old when I got married. I.
None of you young people have to wait quite as long as I did. But then.
I was.
I didn't come to Lord Jesus until I was 30.
And.
I'm glad I was spared in a sense. I was spared being in a situation where it's already married and coming to the Lord Jesus and.
And having.
A wife who isn't, you know, I was spared that. I'm thankful for it.
Umm, the only thing I wanted to mention was our brother mentioned about being.
Unequally yoked.
And.
Our wife.
Our husband, as the case may be.
Should be the Lord's.
And love the Lord and have.
Fervent desire to please the Lord. But there's also.
The situation of associations too.
Where if this one we've met and.
They're not gathered with us.
That we make it a real matter of prayer before the Lord.
To help this one realize.
The divine center. The place.
For the Lord Jesus has placed his name. It's ever so important.
That the two of you both.
I think.
Realize this and they're already gathered before you. Take that step of marriage because.
If you don't there, there could be difficulty afterwards. I'm just going to relate a story with you.
Umm, an end of my wife's.
She married, she was gathered, and she married a man that wasn't gathered. Yes, He was the Lord's, I believe, and yes.
He came to the meetings.
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But.
He never took that step. He never took that step of asking for his place at the Lord's Table.
And as a result.
The children, it was in a certain sense, it was almost like a divided house. And as a result?
The children either never took their place at the Lord's Table or.
If they or they took their place and then later left, it's ever so important that you have one mind concerning this that you can go on together.
To please the Lord.
In the place where the Lord Jesus would have you to be.
Because if you don't, you could have a lot of heartache.
I just wanted to share that with you. It's a solid thing.
That you're sensitive to the promptings of the Lord, That you truly have his mind as.
The one you should marry.
And the only other thing I wanted to mention to for the brothers is.
We read about a virtuous woman in Proverbs and and that's a good thing each.
But.
Is she also a mother of Israel? Is she a mother of Israel? Does she have a real care?
For the Saints, everyone and the children of the Saints are going on well. And dear Sister.
The brother.
You're considering marrying.
Is he a spiritual father?
Not just the father of your own children.
A spiritual father that has a real care for the Saints. God your assembly.
Especially if there's been a young woman, it's been brought in.
It doesn't have spiritual parents. Does he take that step to help him grow one more Jesus?
All that you have a husband like that?
You consider.
Very carefully before the Lord, who is going to be your husband and the Lord.
When God put.
Created the heavens and the earth. He had a plan.
He wanted a wife.
He put Adam and Eve into the Garden of Eden.
He wanted them to populate the earth.
He made man in his own image because he wanted someone he could have communion with, someone he could have fellowship with.
Genesis chapter 2.
And verse 18.
And the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make and help meet for him a helper.
And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.
And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field. For Adam there was not found, but for Adam there was not found. And help me for him. And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman.
And brought her unto the man.
Adam, he was alone. He needed a helper, he needed a companion. And the Lord put Adam to sleep, and he took from Adam a rib from his side. He did not take a bone from Adam's head. He didn't take a bone from Adam's foot. The man is not to be king over his household, over his family.
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That's why he didn't take the woman from the foot, and the woman is not to rule over the man.
And that's why he didn't take it from his head, he took it from his side so they could go along together. And he took it from under his arm. And the arms are what we protect.
And provide. And so God wanted Adam to care for his wife, to protect her, and to provide for her, and to be 1 flesh with her. And the woman was to cleave, and he was to cleave to his wife.
And they shall be one flesh. And so God created marriage. God was thinking of the Church when Christ and the Church would be joined together. And that will happen in glory one day and perhaps soon.
Let's go over to Ecclesia or Proverbs 31.
We've been talking about.
Looking for a mate or God's will in finding a mate?
Well, God, he gives us things to look for in a woman. He gives things to look for in a man. And in Proverbs 31, God, I want to speak to the men first, the young men. God has given you directions onto our qualifications for you to look for when you're looking for a virtuous woman. And in verse 10, it says, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth trust in safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. So when you look for a wife, you need to find someone that you can trust when you can depend on.
Verse 12.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Adam needed a wife, a helper, one to provide, one to protect, and the woman was going to be a helper to him. And that's what we have here. She will do him good, not evil, all the days of her life. And so you need to find a woman who's going to support you and and help you.
You, you, whatever your job or your profession may be, she can be a help to you in that. And then it goes on and it we find that.
I'm not going to read all these verses, but we find that.
She's very industrious around the home. She goes out into the fields, into the market to bring things back to the home. She's able to sell things so she can help help her husband be a help to her husband. But her her sphere is around the home. And verse 23.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders.
That's a reflection back to the men.
Are you, are you going to be one who would sit in the gates, sitteth among the elders of the land, one who can make wise decisions for your family? Maybe be a help in the assembly to make wise decisions or to be a help to other other people may be looking for for advice, shepherding care.
We need shepherds in the assembly and God.
Wants the wants you to be a shepherd and your husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land and so young men, it's good for you to be able to.
Have wisdom to be able to help guide your home.
Verse 27 I'm not going to read all these verses. She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. When you look for a wife there, it's good to have one who looks to be a helper, one who can look to the ways of the household and to be able to fix the house up, get it prepared and ready for the home and the and the people who the children or, or or the husband in the home.
And she can be a support and a strength for the husband. And she eats not the bread of idleness a lot of times.
A woman can be spending a lot of time talking, gossiping, I.
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And other things. But that's not what God wants you to look for in a wife. He wants one that would be beneficial to you. In verse 28, her husband, her children arise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her.
And so, young men, you need to find a wife.
Like our brother mentioned, a mother of Israel, one who really cares for the children because.
A woman is a very.
Valuable asset to an assembly.
Just think of your mother. She raised you.
Your father, he had a part in it too.
But the mother is the one who spends most of the time with the children, raising them. There's a there's a proverb that says the one who rocks the cradle rules the world.
And the woman that you're going to marry, if you have children, she's going to have a big influence on those children. And those children are the future of the church.
If they come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior, those children will be the future of the church and in the assembly. And if you raise your children and your sons to be to be godly and or and raise your daughters to to fear the Lord.
It can be a great benefit to the assembly and God's God's house.
And her children rise up and call her blessed. It's nice when you can support your wife, a woman that you can support in raising your children and.
Her husband also he praiseth her. You got to remember to praise your wife. Be down to verse 30. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
It's nice to find a.
A nice looking woman.
Beauty doesn't last forever.
But you need something in a woman that's going to last.
She that feareth the Lord.
She shall be praised, so it's good for you to search for a woman who loves the Lord.
Cares about the things of the Lord and wants to please Him.
And, and it'll be a big help to you. Now I want to talk to the ladies. Let's go over to Timothy.
First Timothy, chapter 3.
Now ladies, you're going to be looking for something in a in a man.
And these qualifications here are good things to look for in a young man, because what a man is now.
It's going to form what he is in the future.
So if the man.
Well, let's let's read these these qualifications.
Verse one First Timothy 3 This is a true saying. If a man desire the office of a Bishop, he desireth a good work. You may say, come on, this is talking about overseers in the in the assembly.
What are we looking for here? That's right, That's right. You're looking for a man who can be God's man, who can be used of God, who can give honor to God, and that's what you want to look for. God has standards.
And these are God's standards for a man in the assembly. But God only has one standard for man.
And whether you are an overseer in the assembly or not, these are qualifications that will affect you.
And that a man should live up to and strive to achieve these standards in his life. And so that's what a woman should look for. And now I know some of these things take time to develop in a, in a, in a man. And so you need to kind of look at what they are now and try to see how they will develop and how can, how you can be a help to that person to help them develop their qualifications.
A Bishop verse 2, then, must be blameless. Blameless.
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A young man.
Needs to be pure, the apostle Paul, he wrote to Timothy. He said keep yourself pure. There's a lot of things in the world today that can attract our hearts and our minds and our emotions and our lusts.
But a Bishop must be blameless.
The husband of one wife.
If you know a young man, he's had two or three girlfriends, five or six girlfriends, his relationships don't last long.
Chances are he's not going to be satisfied with you.
And it may be that you won't be married too long before he finds difficulties with you and he will divorce you move on to another woman.
So you want to find qualities that towards faithfulness and purity. Then it says be vigilant.
A Bishop, a man must be vigilant, watchful if you're going to marry a man, you want somebody who's watchful in the home and careful to keep things out that don't that don't help build the family up for Christ. You want you want to find a man who's vigilant to.
To bring.
Good things into the home, things that honor Christ and a man who will keep those things that are are attracting the the children to go off into the things of the world.
We need to be vigilant.
Then it says to be sober.
I know this is a.
Sober is one who makes wise decisions.
Another word, Another word for sober can be.
Or the opposite of sober can be foolishness. If a man is always joking, he's never serious.
He's always looking for something more and more exciting to to get to get to become excited over the different things and get the adrenaline flowing.
He's when when he gets to be older.
He's not going to be much different.
Unless God brings something into his life.
To speak drastically to him and to change him.
And so if you have a husband who wants to go out and and play all the time and never be serious, never be never be wise in in his activities and, and doesn't pay much attention to his wife or to his family and thinks more of himself than than of other people, well, then there's going to be difficulties in the home. So you need to find a man who's sober and who makes wise decisions.
With his his time and his possessions and his money and and his whole, his whole life. You need to find someone who's sober then of good behavior. I think that speaks to himself of good behavior of what is goodness. I think that's things that honor God. Also good works. Perhaps the Bible speaks much of A of a Christian doing good works. Does your husband want to does the man you're looking at?
Does he want to do good works to serve the Lord, to please the Lord, whatever those things may be? Does he think of others or is he selfish? And then the next one is given to hospitality. Hospitality is when you have people in your home you're at. You want to help people and you and other people are your focus. Hospitality.
Ladies, if you find a man who is hospitable.
When you start a home.
Much of the responsibility of the hospitality will fall on the woman.
And so that means hospitality should be part of the heart of the woman too. But sometimes we get, there's a lot of things in life that make us too busy. Or maybe we think we don't have enough room in our home, or we become a little selfish and we we don't want to spend time entertaining guests because maybe they don't, they're just not our style of people. Or, or if I bring them into my home, I won't be. They won't, they'll never invite me to their home.
But that's not the point. God wants a family, a man and a wife to be hospitable to other people. And if you happen to, by the way, if you happen to be an older brother in the assembly and if you happen to be a an overseer or a Bishop in the assembly, these are very pertinent qualifications for you too.
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Because if you if you're not given to hospitality and sometimes we look, we have a little list of gatherings and it has names of people in the assembly you can contact. And sometimes the people that you contact aren't hospitable.
No, not that, that, not that the list of gatherings is a directory of, of hospitality, but it should be. It should be if your name's in there, you must be an overseer in the assembly and an overseer qualification must be hospitality. Because when we're hospitable to the Saints, you get to know those in your assembly. You get to get better acquainted with them. You know where they're, where their weaknesses are and where you can help them and to be a shepherd to them and care for them.
And that's God's plan for a man.
And it says not. Then the next point is apartment to teach, able to teach. Now I know that we're not all teachers, We're not all have the gift of teaching and, and some of us aren't able to teach as well as others. But apartment to teach, it's a good quality. It's and if you're able to do that, it's a thing that that can be learned.
Then it says not given to wine.
No striker striker is one who would argue in the care meeting.
What? Did you ever get any arguing in the care meeting?
Guess where it starts? It starts as a young man.
And you argue about everything your mother tells you to do. You argue with everybody around you. You want to get your own will, your own way.
And when you become a brother in the assembly and you go to the care meeting.
You'll that argumentative character in your nature if you haven't taken care of it while you're a young man.
It will get you into trouble and it will disrupt the assembly.
And it will disrupt your home too, because you'll be always arguing with one another and it won't be beneficial to your family.
And it says not greedy of filthy lucre.
That's money living for money. When you spend time making money, the more time you have making money, the less time you have with your family. God's given you the responsibility of your family, so you need to balance that out.
And says, but be patient. Not a brawler, not covetous. One that ruleth his own house. One that ruleth well, his own house.
Having his children in subjection.
Another purpose that God had Adam and Eve put together. He told them to go forth and multiply. His plan was for them to have children. I know some. I know that some people are unable to have children.
But that's a qualification for a man to be.
A responsible brother in the assembly is for him to have.
Children if he has no children.
He should not be a vocal mouthpiece in the assembly care meeting because in this in the home when you are you have children and you learn how to deal with issues and problems in the home, the homes, the training ground for the assembly. And so God has given these qualifications for you to look at these and try to to emulate these things in your own life and.
Let's go on verse 5. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the Church of God? Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good report of them which are without, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
It's easy to.
It's it's it's often a thing for us to be on our best behavior when we're around other people. Ladies, when you're around a young man, he's chances are he may behave in a good way. He may make a good impression on your parents, but he may deceive you. It says he must have a good report of those that are without and this is with or without is more Speaking of those outside the church, but it's a good principle for you to.
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To check with other people if you want to know if about a man or you need to ask other people about him. Sure, he looks nice today and he can say all the right things, but when you get married, you're going to really find out what he's really like. But you can use that resource of other people. Ask the parents, ask the others in the in his assembly, find out from other people what is this person really like. And so these are things you can look for when you're looking.
For a. For a.
A mate one more point back in over in chapter five of First Timothy, chapter 5.
And this is back for the qualifications of a woman of a wife.
Verse 14 I will therefore that younger women marry bear children.
Guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Guide the house.
There's children in the home.
The woman's responsibility to guide the house. What does that word guide mean?
It means to rule almost as in headship. Sometimes you see a sign that says Christ is the head of this home.
But that's not right. It's the man who's the head of the woman. But yet this verse says it's the woman who's the ruler of the house. And so guess who gets to choose what color you paint the kitchen?
Guess who? Guess whose responsibility it is in the house? It's not the man's, it's the woman's. To make sure things run and operate properly in the home. The man is. He's the head, yes.
And he has a responsibility and the woman is submissive to the man and subject to him. But yet God gives the responsibility of the upkeep, the care, the the the living environment in the home is much of the woman's responsibility and says then it says, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Ladies.
Men too, but we need to be careful.
What we say about people.
Are we speaking the truth?
If you start to promulgate a lie, that's unproven.
It's going to hurt people. You're speaking reproachfully. You really need to be careful about that.
Time's up, so I better stop.