In our house I slept in the bedroom at the back of the house. My sister slept in the middle bedroom and my parents in the front bedroom. Mom, Dad and my sister were all saved from their sins and knew it. I wasn’t sure if I was saved or not. I couldn’t remember having accepted Jesus as my Saviour, and I knew this was the only way to be saved. Until now it really hadn’t bothered me, but now I was 12 and the thought that Jesus might come at any minute to take His own to heaven made me very uncomfortable. What if He came and I wasn’t ready? I knew the Bible said that I’d be left behind to spend eternity being punished for my sins! That was a scary thought.
Especially at night I thought about it. It was difficult for me to go to sleep. I knew that as long as my parents were still here, Jesus hadn’t come yet. So I would call out, “Good-night, Dad,” and he would answer, “Good-night, Son.” But then if I didn’t go to sleep right away I would start worrying again, and I’d call again, “Good-night, Dad,” and he would answer. But my dad had to get up and go to work in the morning, and he was trying to go to sleep himself. After I had called three or four times, he would say, “Good-night, Son, but if you call once more tonight you are going to be punished.”
I knew I couldn’t call out any more, but I was still worried that I might be left behind if Jesus came. I couldn’t get to sleep. After a while I’d tiptoe down the hall to my parents’ room. Thankfully, my dad was a noisy sleeper, so I’d listen outside the door for his snoring, and then, reassured, I’d tiptoe back to bed.
This went on night after night, and I hated to go to bed. I was too shy to tell my parents, but I was desperate. One night I got out my Bible and read over those wonderful words in John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16): “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Then I knelt down by my bed and said, “Lord Jesus, I know I’m a sinner, and I need You to be my Saviour. Please come into my heart and wash away my sins.” Now I was saved and I knew it! That’s all it took. I went happily to sleep.
I didn’t tell anyone I was saved, so it wasn’t long until Satan began whispering in my ear, “You’re not really saved.” But God was whispering to me too, and He said, “Get your Bible and read John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) over again.” I did. The words were still the same: “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just reading and believing those wonderful words again gave me certainty and peace.
But Satan loves to make us doubt that what God says is true and will always be true. I guess I was like Eve, more ready to listen to him than to listen to God.
My mom was always at home waiting for us when we returned from school. But one afternoon she wasn’t there. Maybe Jesus has come and I’m not ready after all, I thought. I decided to call my aunt on the telephone. She was always home too. But no one answered. So I called another aunt who was always home. No answer. Now I was becoming frantic. But I still belonged to Jesus even if I wasn’t sure of it, and He was right there beside me, prompting me to get my Bible. Just reading and believing those familiar words of John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) gave me peace again.
I had just finished thanking Jesus for saving me and keeping me when Mom came home. But now I had learned that I must never depend on my feelings to be sure I was saved, but always on what God says in the Bible.
It was a long time before I shared my secret with anyone, but whenever I started to worry I would get out my Bible and read. Then my heart would be at peace. I began to read my Bible more and more, and as I read it I came to know Jesus better and better. He’s a wonderful Friend. He loves me and died for me so I could go to live with Him in heaven forever. He loves you and died for you too. Have you told Him you’re a sinner and that you want Him to be your Saviour? Don’t wait - He’s coming soon, and it may be today. “Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of Man cometh at an hour when ye think not” (Luke 12:4040Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not. (Luke 12:40)). “Prepare to meet thy God” (Amos 4:1212Therefore thus will I do unto thee, O Israel: and because I will do this unto thee, prepare to meet thy God, O Israel. (Amos 4:12)).
ML-03/19/2000