An Experience and Deliverance.
VISITING the local Library one bright morning in the month of July, 1932, one might have observed a young man searching very diligently for a book, which obviously he was having some difficulty in finding. If asked what he was looking for, he would have replied, “Oh, just a good book. I am in search of Truth.”
After much walking round and round, and in and out the high vestibules crammed with literature, he came to a halt. Facing him were books on Theology, Ethics, Philosophy, Christian Mysticism, Occultism, Spiritualism, etc., etc.
He picked one up, glanced at its contents, and put it back; he disliked the subject; it was Spiritualism, by Conan Doyle.
He looked at another, The Higher Education of the Soul, by Prof. Rudolph Steiner—it was too advanced. He glanced at another, The Way of Initiation, by the same author. He tried many more, but none of them satisfied him.
He moved on, ever searching in and out the high rows of books for that which would satisfy his thirsty soul.
Ultimately he found himself back again facing the very book which he disliked.
He was about to pass on, but something held him. A voice inside him seemed to be speaking to him: “Take up that book, why do you hesitate? It won’t bite you; take it and read it.” “It is all rubbish and fraud,” he soliloquized, “I don’t like the subject.”
But the voice said, “Having read much, you pride yourself on being a broad-minded young man; you have often pooh-poohed Spiritualism, now read this book and learn the truth. You have read some of Conan Doyle’s books before, why hesitate over this one? you know him to be an author with no small reputation in the world of literature; you need not accept all that he says as infallible, but investigate for yourself. ‘Prove all things, hold fast that which is good.’”
Again he said to himself: “It’s all rubbish, I have read too much like it already and wasted much valuable time. I want a good book, I want Truth, I have had enough of lies, deceit and vanity. I am in search of something good, something that will satisfy this craving of my soul.”
Again the voice said, “Don’t be such a coward! Take the book home and read for yourself; why listen to others?”
Half-heartedly, and with a feeling of disappointment because he could find nothing better that morning to suit him, he slung it under his arm and went home.
At this stage it is fitting to mention that this young man is myself.
I read the book, and was interested in the experiences of the Fox Sisters, but it was not what I wanted, or appreciated. I returned it for another book on Christian Mysticism, The Higher Education of the Soul, by Prof. Rudolph Steiner. This book I did, indeed, more appreciate. I exchanged it for another by the same author, The Way of Initiation. Now I found something to grip me, a strange fascination. I read and studied book after book by all the best authors: Lodge, Doyle, Blavastky, Steiner, Hamilton, R. B. Jones, Boehme, Barrett, Dr. Crawford, etc., etc. I studied the subject of Spiritualism minutely, from a scientific and religious standpoint, until my notes ran into thousands of words.
I went to the Spiritualist Churches, attended Circles, all with the purpose of finding the Truth. I started “developing” and did so very quickly. I developed clairvoyance; saw what they call Spirit Lights, and the Astral Plane; had wonderful visions; saw what appeared to be a Spirit at the door of my room; strange lights flooded my room at night; and last, but not least, I experienced physical phenomena. Raps, and taps, which at times were heavy blows, were heard on the walls, ceiling, and windows; and objects would move or fall over without any apparent reason.
My alarum clock became a favorite target, and would stop mysteriously. The mechanism of the alarum would be definitely interfered with, stopping it from going off in the morning and making me late for work I began to get annoyed, which only inspired them to greater effort. Strange rumblings could be heard in the nights, like furniture being removed or roughly handled. Sleep became impossible; I felt as if there were an electric battery inside me, and my jaws would work as if a spirit were trying to control my organs of speech. I resisted with all the will power at my command.
When that failed, I would be mentally tortured with the most evil, horrid and filthy pictures imaginable. They would appear clairvoyantly, or with the eyes of the soul. Many hours I would lie with my eyes open in my effort to avoid them.
A sensation of being covered with cobwebs would often come over me, accompanied by a sense of blackness or stupor. At last I began to “sit up” and ask myself. “Is this of God? Would God do such things?” I was told I had a very powerful and determined “guide” who was doing his utmost to “control” me. I asked, “Why should he worry and torment me like this?” They said “You must do exactly as he tells you, and everything will be all right, and you will be a public Clairvoyant and Healer.”
I developed the use of the “Table,” and actually took messages, but abandoned the method because of the “Subjective Self” making it unreliable.
The more I developed, the more I realized I was the “instrument” very powerful; some dreadful spirit of evil.
I tried to discourage him, to shake him off, but he became all the stronger; his attitude was determined and relentless. Desperate methods entered my mind, such as Electrification, Special Circles, etc. But the harder I fought the weaker I became, until I was daunted. Then fear took possession of me: I dreaded going to bed at night; I shrank from company of any sort, and yet I dreaded being alone. I felt in the pit of despair. What would I not give to be free from the clutches of this spirit! I was now conscious that I was in the snare of the fowler (Psa. 91:33Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. (Psalm 91:3)). The prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience (Eph. 2:22Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: (Ephesians 2:2)). I was like a rat in a trap, I felt hopelessly lost, and a victim of the Devil. It was a terrible dawning of the truth. I fought, I prayed but God heard me not; I knew not His clear Son, Who is the One Mediator between God and man (1 Tim. 2:55For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; (1 Timothy 2:5)), I appealed to various mediums to help me, but they could only say, “Shake him off!” He would not be shaken off, I had to confess he was stronger than I, and had the advantage over me in all ways. How could I bind this “strong man”? (Matt. 12:2929Or else how can one enter into a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house. (Matthew 12:29)).
Something seemed to say to me, “Break away! Break away!” After a hard struggle I did so. I came crying to the Church with bitter tears; I appealed to God to have mercy upon my soul. A courteous and able minister received me and pointed me the way, the only way—the Cross of Calvary.
He preached Christ, and Him crucified; I drank it all in, as one thirsting for the “Waters of Life.” I repented and gave myself to Christ, and asked Him to take this evil from me.
From that day He has stood by me. The victory has not-been instantaneous, but a gradual deliverance and unfolding of the works and “powers of darkness” has taken place. By His grace, I pass this testimony on, that His dear Name may be glorified in some poor soul who needs Him, and that it may be a warning to others to “be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:88Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: (1 Peter 5:8)).
And finally, take warning. Beware of Fascination, it is one of his most powerful methods to ensnare the unwary. After reading the first few books I became powerfully fascinated, wonder followed wonder, mystery followed mystery, phenomena were heaped upon me, until I was swept off my feet, completely mastered (2 Thess. 2:99Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, (2 Thessalonians 2:9)). I have found and testify that Jesus Christ is the only Saviour, “Neither is there salvation in any other; for there is none other Name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:1212Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Acts 4:12)).
S. E.