It was a time of sadness — and my heart,
Although it knew and loved the better part,
Felt wearied with the conflict and the strife,
And all the needful discipline of life.
And while I thought on these — as given to me
My trial tests of faith and love to be,
It seemed as if I never could be sure
That faithful to the end I should endure.
And thus no longer trusting to His might
Who says “we walk by faith and not by sight,”
Doubting — and almost yielding to despair,
The thought arose — My cross I cannot bear!
Far heavier its weight must surely be,
Than those of others which I daily see.
Oh, if I might another burden choose,
Methinks I should not fear my crown to lose.
A solemn silence reigned on all around,
E’en nature’s voices uttered not a sound,
The evening shadows seemed of peace to tell.
And sleep upon my weary spirit fell.
A moment’s pause—and then a heavenly light
Beamed fall upon my wondering raptur’d sight,
Angels on silvery wings seemed everywhere,
And angels’ music thrill’d the balmy air.
Then One, more fair than all the rest to see,
One—to whom all the others bow’d the knee,
Came gently to me as I trembling lay,
And — “Follow me,” He said, “I am the way.”
Then speaking thus — He led me far above,
And there, beneath a canopy of love,
Crosses of divers shape and size were seen,
Larger and smaller than mine own had been.
And one there was most beauteous to behold,
A little one, with jewels set in gold —
Ah, this methought I can with comfort wear,
For it will be an easy one to bear.
And so the little cross I quickly took,
But all at once my frame beneath it shook,
The sparkling jewels, fair were they to see,
But far too heavy was their weight for me.
This may not be, I cried — and looked again
To see if any there could ease my pain,
But one by one I pass’d them slowly by,
Till on a lovely one I cast my eye.
Fair flowers around its sculptur’d form entwin’d,
And grace and beauty seem’d in it combin’d;
Wondering I gazed — and still I wonder’d more
To think so many should have passed it o’er.
But oh, that form so beautiful to see,
Soon made its hidden sorrows known to me
Thorns lay beneath those flowers and colors fair,
Sorrowing I said — This cross I may not bear.
And so it was with each and all around,
Not one to suit my need could there be found;
Weeping — I laid each heavy burden down,
As my Guide gently said, “No cross — no crown.”
At length to Him I raised my saddened heart;
He knew its sorrows, bid its doubts depart, -
“Be not afraid,” He said, “but trust in me,
“My perfect love shall now be shown to thee.”
And then with lighten’d eyes and willing feet,
Again I turned my earthly cross to meet,
With forward footsteps turning not aside,
For fear some hidden evil might betide.
And there in the prepar’d, appointed way,
Listening to hear and ready to obey,
A cross I quickly found of plainest form,
With only words of love inscribed thereon.
With thankfulness I raised it from the rest,
And joyfully acknowledg’d it the best,
The only one of all the many there,
That I could feel was good for me to bear.
And while I thus my chosen one confess’d,
I saw a heavenly brightness on it rest,
And as I bent — my burden to sustain,
I recognized my own old cross again!
But oh, how different did it seem to be,
Now I had learned its preciousness to see,
No longer could I unbelieving say —
Perhaps another is a better way.
Ah no! henceforth my one desire shall be,
That He who knows me best should choose for me
And so, whate’er His love sees good to send,
I’ll trust it’s best — because He knows the end.
L. P. W.