IT was after breakfast one summer's morning, some years ago, that I was sitting reading the letters, which the early post had brought, when a knock was heard at the hall door, and the servant mentioned that there was a girl in the hall who wished to speak to me. I accordingly went to her. She was a stranger to me, about twenty years of age, and of very respectable appearance. I noticed a little collecting card in her hand, as I asked her what I could do for her. “I am the daughter of Mr.—, the schoolmaster, and I want you to give me a subscription for my card.”
“May I ask what is the object of the collection?”
“Oh, it is to convert the Roman Catholics," and she explained to me a little of the work that was being done by the missionary society in which she was interested.
“Your object, you say, is to convert the Roman Catholics. A very good work for Christians to have fellowship in but may I ask, Are you converted yourself?”
“Oh, I am a Protestant, sir “she exclaimed, looking surprised at being asked such a question.
“Yes, but Protestants need to be converted as well as Roman Catholics, for the Lord hath said, ' Except ye be converted... ye shall all likewise perish;' so allow me again to ask you, Have you been converted to God yourself?”
“I don't understand what you mean," she replied, looking graver. " I go to church, and say my prayers, and I have a class in the Sunday school, and I do the best I can; but what you mean by being converted' I do not understand.”
“Well," I said," I mean have you been ' born again,' and had your sins forgiven? for ' except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God ' (John 3:33Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. (John 3:3)). Thousands have done all that you have spoken of, and much more, and yet gone clown to hell in the end; so I want to know, Have you been born again?”
The young woman blushed, and seemed very uneasy, whilst a look of sadness crossed her countenance. She again replied softly, “I really do not understand the question.”
“Well,” I said, “I will put it as plainly as I possibly can—If God were to call you into eternity now, as you stand in this hall, are you ready to meet Him?”
As I asked this solemn question fear was depicted in her expression, her head hung low, her eyes glistened with tears, and scarcely audibly, but very emphatically, she answered, " No, no, sir; if I were to die at this moment I believe I should go straight to hell, and I never saw it before.”
“Well," I remarked," I do not want to hurt your feelings, but you will pardon my saying that it appears to me to be rather an irregular proceeding for you to be collecting money to convert other people when you are not converted yourself!”
“You are quite right, sir," she answered, almost overcome, for she had begun to realize, for the first time in her life, that she was a lost sinner, notwithstanding her natural amiability and exemplary life.
Seeing how miserable she had now become, I asked her, would she like to be saved, assuring her she would have that great blessing the moment she came to Christ and believed the Gospel. I invited her into a sitting-room, and we had two hours together, during which I sought to show her more fully her guilty and lost condition from the first three chapters of the Epistle to the Romans. She was greatly moved, and intensely interested in the Scripture, and verily a new era seemed to have opened in her life. She left thanking me most warmly for having spoken to her about her soul's salvation.
On the following morning, about eleven o'clock, a lady with whom I was slightly acquainted called upon me, and after a few commonplaces about the weather and so forth, she said, “May I ask you to tell me was Miss— here yesterday?”
“She was," I replied.
“Would you have any objection to relate to me what took place on the occasion?”
“Not the slightest; but why do you ask?”
Mrs. E—then informed me it was she who had given the card to the girl, and that soon after our interview on the previous day Miss— had returned the card, saying, " There is your card, ma'am. I cannot collect any more money, for I am not converted myself I”
“And what did you say to her?" I inquired. Mrs. E— answered that she had expressed to the girl much surprise, considering how good and praiseworthy her life had always been, and reminded her how she was always regular at church, of her class in the Sunday school, and how she had been lately received to the sacrament of the Lord's Supper.
I then told the lady what had transpired, and how my conversation had ended by the unhappy soul admitting that she was perishing in her sins, whereupon I had pointed out to her the apparent inconsistency of endeavoring to get others converted when not converted herself.
At this Mrs. E— got very angry, and said, “Why, she is the model girl of the parish, and is one of the communicants at our church!" and she proceeded to lecture me rather stiffly upon the mischief I had done in frightening this poor girl so terribly, and telling me in what a distressed state Miss— had come to her, saying she was lost!
I quietly remonstrated with my visitor for not being rejoiced beyond measure, as I was, that one who had been so manifestly resting on her good character and religion for salvation should now have discovered it was the certain road to hell.
“Surely," I continued," Mrs. E—, you must admit there are thousands who have outwardly just as much to show as she has of religion, and outwardly blameless character, who nevertheless have not been convicted of their sins and lost condition, and fled to Christ alone for salvation.”
The lady was not satisfied, however, and as she left the door I was deeply saddened at the evidence thus given, of the spirit of ignorance concerning, and opposition to, the truth which this now anxious one would have to encounter from so unexpected a quarter.
However, I had never been more firmly convinced that a real work of God had begun in any soul than I had in her case, and comforted myself with the verse, " He that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ " (Phil. 1:66Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: (Philippians 1:6)).
Five months passed away, when one morning I received an urgent letter from Miss—, telling me how awfully miserable she had been ever since our conversation, and how night and day she was troubled about her sins, and sometimes feared the loss of her intellect. The letter concluded by an earnest entreaty to come and see her at once.
I delayed not an instant. A few minutes' walk brought me to her father's house. She was alone. God had prepared the way, and was about to give her the peace she so longed for.
She told me much of what had transpired during the interval— of how the clergyman had come to her and asked her why she was not at the sacrament, and how she had replied in the words of 1 Cor. 11:29,29For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. (1 Corinthians 11:29) that she would be " eating and drinking judgment " to herself, as she was unsaved, and the Lord's Supper was only intended for Christians; of how the neighbors had come to her and said, “But why are you so unhappy, you were always so good? " But the Lord had taught her that all her "righteousnesses were filthy rags"—that "there is none that doeth good, no, not one " (Rom. 8:1212Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. (Romans 8:12)), and that it is " him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly "whose “faith is counted for righteousness " (Rom. 4:55But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. (Romans 4:5)).
These would-be friends, in fact, were only crying "Peace, peace, when there is no peace," and the tossed and troubled soul looked for a better haven of rest than her own character, which she had found to be vile in the sight of God.
She also related to me what had tended to deepen the solemnity of eternal things to her soul, namely, that a young man to whom she had been engaged to be married, had, a few weeks before, fallen down dead suddenly, while playing ball in a ball-alley. “If it had been me," she said, “I should have gone down to hell straight”
It was evident this dear girl had now given up “doings" and self-righteousness completely, but she had not yet learned to look to the Lord Jesus Christ alone as her Saviour. It was now an easy and delightful service to be allowed of God to lead this thirsty, wearied soul to the living fountain of waters, and to tell her how, that " when we were yet without strength, Christ died for the ungodly;” that " God commendeth his love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us;” and that as He had on the cross by His death made full satisfaction to God on account of all our sins, God had raised Him up from the dead, and glorified Him at His own right hand in heaven.
She saw now all the doing was over, and she had nothing to do but “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ," and she would be saved on the spot.
She then and there rested her soul on Jesus and His accomplished work, and found peace with the Holy God, whose delight it is to impart it to those who believe His testimony as to the all-sufficiency of the blood of Jesus to cleanse from all sin.
Soon after I ceased to reside in that part of the country, but for years after I continued to hear of her as one who sought to live for her Saviour alone.
Reader, are you converted? J. C. T.
IT is impossible that an awakened soul should not feel the necessity of having the heart set right, and turned to God; and hence, not submitting to the righteousness of God, he thinks to make the favor of God depend on the state of his own affections; whereas God loves us while we are yet sinners. J. N. D.