I had taken a cold, and was seized with violent bleeding at the nose, a cough and fever setting in, which threw me on a bed of sickness.
Kind friends visited me and read to me of the love of God in sending His Son to die for sinners. I saw myself a sinner, and thought to myself, ‘Can this be love to me?’ My heart was touched!
“One night as I lay on my bed thinking of God’s love, and the great and mighty sacrifice of His own Son going down into death for me a great sinner, I became very anxious, and after much distress of mind I fell asleep, weary and troubled. I dreamed that God called me. I seemed to see a beautiful light, and I went towards it. Oh! it was ‘above the brightness of the sun;’ and as I drew near I still seemed to hear a voice saying, ‘Come, only come!’ I seemed to go on and on, and then I became dazzled and confused by the great light. As I stood still wanting to go on, but filled with we, and fearing to do so, Jesus Himself appeared beside me. I knew it was He—Himself. I said to Him, ‘I want to ask God to forgive my sins.’ He took me by the hand and said, ‘No man cometh unto the Father but by me.’ I looked and saw in His hand the print of the nail, and I knew it all! that it was He who had died for me, and rose again; that that pure, spotless One had been nailed to the ‘accursed tree’ for me; then I saw that ‘He bore my sins in His own body on the tree,’ and that I was now free from the load.
“So I awoke with a cry of joy, and my wife was surprised and asked, ‘What is the matter?’ ‘Oh!’ I said, ‘I am so full of joy, Jesus has put all my sins away, and I am saved.’ God’s blessed book has ever since been my meat and drink, my joy, my best companion through four years of great bodily suffering. I am now only waiting for His Son from heaven, but it may be that our Father may see fit to let me fall asleep in Jesus, ‘and it will be all joy to be absent from the body, present with the Lord.’”
I visited H. B. frequently for over three years, and I never knew him express a doubt, or his faith the least bit shake. As his body grew weaker the life of Christ shone out so much the more brightly, and when I visited him I could often say— “It is good for me to be here,” going home strengthened and refreshed for my own little trials. Oh! his was a bright testimony, indeed! The last week of his life seemed just to be lingering between life and death. He had always a smile and welcome for me when I went in; and when he could scarcely speak, would point to a chair near him for me, and would try so hard to speak of Jesus, often interrupted by a terrible cough which continued to the very last. I saw him one Sunday afternoon for the last time. When I went in, he smiled and said, “Almost home.”
Several young men came in to see him, and seemed deeply impressed by the reality of his conversion. He remained quite sensible until the last, falling asleep in Jesus on Tuesday.
His greatest, and indeed only anxiety seemed to be about his wife. He was not sure that she was resting in Jesus. The last Sunday I saw him I was speaking to a young man about the two natures, and the life of Christ in him, which he did not see clearly, though he thought he was “born again.” H. B. heard me, and raising himself up said, “Yes, Christ in you the hope of glory” (Col. 1:2727To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: (Colossians 1:27)), and sank back exhausted. These were the last words I ever heard him speak, except “Goodbye,” very feebly.
How beautiful it is to “stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.”
E. F. P.