Open—Will Hayhoe
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This morning in the reading we were reminded how that in our Bibles we have perfect wisdom and how that sometimes when we.
Glean knowledge from other than the Word of God and natural things. Often it's beneficial, sometimes not. But thankfully we can go to the Word of God and get perfect wisdom.
During the reading, Howard mentioned, umm, I think he said he went to a prenatal class and at some point it reached in the discussion that it went beyond scripture or the ideas that were presented were I.
I didn't talk to Howard afterwards, but it seemed like it was not in agreement with the Word of God.
And I guess that got me thinking about a subject that I trust will be helpful.
And it is a subject that is very real for those who are parents raising children and that is the subject of discipline. And just to offer initial comment about how that perhaps we think of the subject as you hear it and you get a little pain.
It's a little like, oh, why, Why talk about that? It it might hurt. And I think the Bible presents it as a part of our Christian experience throughout life.
And the more that we can learn in our youth that we need correction, it'll be for our benefit for the rest of life. And so I just would offer that as a general comment at the outset. And I trust I would have a, there might be something from the word of God that would be a help to parents. Let's turn to the book of Proverbs first for a few verses.
Proverbs chapter 12, verse one.
Says whoso loves.
Instruction loves knowledge, but he that hates reprove is brutish.
Could also read it. Whoso loves discipline loves knowledge, but he that hates reproof is brutish. Or another, maybe more blunt translation is is stupid.
You know, if we have the idea that correction is unnecessary or something to be avoided, we've missed the mark. For here it clearly says that if we love it, we'll gain knowledge. So again, take it as from the word of God. That's what God's Word says. Now let's go to chapter 13, Proverbs 13.
Verse 24.
Thankfully, again, it's the word of God. You're hearing a voice. Just take it as the word of God.
He that spares his rod hates his son, but he that loves him chases him, chasing him in good time.
A proof of love is the willingness to discipline a child.
Taken the other way then.
You don't.
You forget or are unwilling to take up with the necessary discipline.
You're missing the mark. It's necessary. Love is not suspended during discipline. It's a it's a proof of love and action.
It needs to be carried out.
Now chapter.
22.
Proverbs 22 verse.
15.
Foolishness is bound.
In the heart of a child, but.
The rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
David learned to say we won't read the verse, but you'll remember David and we know in the Bible that David is an example to us.
It's called the man after God's own heart, someone that God loved. David was brought to say that in sin my mother conceived me.
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That is, he was born in a condition, as we all are, in sin. There's no exceptions. It's OK and it's beneficial. It's necessary to recognize it and in our children when they're born.
We're a mother's heart. A father's heart yearns for their blessing and natural things, and you have that heart that reaches out to them from their very first breath that wants to take care.
Wants to see them grow and develop in natural things. You want protection? You want nurture.
What about the part where it says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child? Is there any exceptions? Did that start at ages two or three? No. Right from the very outset, the Bible is faithful. It tells us here foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. It's there. It's not exceptional. It's not unique to certain ones.
That you have to figure out whether it's so or not.
It's there. This is what the Bible says, and man's wisdom may be divergent from that. Let's just not go there. Let's just say that this is what the Bible presents. Foolishness found in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him. You want that to go away? What's necessary?
Is there any doubt what the word of God is saying here?
No, there's no doubt not. If we're willing to just receive it, it involves a lot of correction.
It's necessary.
Now let's go to chapter 23.
Proverbs 23.
Verse 13 Withhold not correction from the child.
First, thou beatest him with the rod. He shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell, or she'll deliverance. You want deliverance for your child, you're going to have to take up with a rod of correction.
You say Ouch. Well.
Maybe for some parents, again, maybe we've received information from our peer group, from a book, some other source and you say I don't know, I'm not so sure. Well, again, like we had in the reading this morning.
We're never wiser than the word of God. We're going if we receive something that is divergent from this, we're going to have to set it aside. We're going to have to take it up and receive it in all its simplicity and in its truth.
But you know what? God intends it for blessing.
It's it's not easy, but it's necessary and it's beneficial in the end.
When our kids were young, it became necessary for discipline. It was often done with, not always rightly, of course, all parents, we make lots of mistakes. We certainly did. But you know, you can see when done in the fear of God and in the simplicity of what God's Word says and carrying out in faithfulness and independence on him.
And submission to His Word, it brings immediate blessing. And I mean it can bring immediate blessing, not necessarily every time, because some wills are harder to be broken and God knows that, but in time it brings blessing.
So I just wanna say to those who are perhaps at that stage of life of having young kids and facing this subject, receiving information from your peer group, other parents, maybe you've observed some and you're wondering how does this play out And you see your child in a condition where they're not happy. There's clearly not submission. We heard this morning how important and necessary it is. I think it was Brother Porter to talk about.
Submission is everything in life.
For our blessing comes after we submit, and in this subject it applies. We're going to have to let ourselves be subject to the Word of God, not rise above it. We're going to have to be subject to it for our children to reap blessing. But it needs to be done. Let's turn then to the New Testament Hebrews chapter 12.
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Hebrews 12 It talks a little bit about chastening.
Book of Hebrews, chapter 12.
We'll start at verse 6.
For whom the Lord loves, he chastens. So we learn right there that the hand of God chastens everyone at every stage of our life.
It's part of Christian experience.
My son despised not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loves, he chases.
And every son whom he perceiveth, if he endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the Father chastens not?
But if ye be without chastening, we're of all our partakers, then are ye ******** and not sons. Furthermore, we have had for others of our flesh, which corrected us, and we gave them reverence. Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure, but He for our prophet, that we might be partakers of His Holiness.
Now no chastening, for the present seems to be joyous.
But grievous nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
Unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet. A thought which is lame be turned out of the way but latter. But let it rather.
Be healed. Well, there's a lot in this passage and I, I just thought of it again. It's necessary for all of us to recognize whatever, whatever stage of life we're in, at the chastening of God.
Can come upon us.
So I would say to myself, to everyone of us here, if it comes upon us, we do well to receive what God has for us. But for a moment, if I could, just to encourage those of you who are parents with young children, you know, it's not easy. You perhaps say, OK, I I can see that Proverbs teaches it.
Uh, uh, OK, I get it, but you don't know what it's like day by day. I have a particular child and the will is particularly evident and so on. And God will give strength for the moment. So if I could, I'll just pass along perhaps a few things that I might offer that I'm sure other parents that have.
Faced the subject perhaps would think of.
Some and others to pass along, but I want to encourage those of you who are having maybe a hard time and carrying it out first of all.
As husbands and wives be together in prayer before the Lord, you have a child and you realize that you've come into the point where you need to carry this out beyond your knees before the Lord in prayer. Go to the Lord. He will give strength. Another thing I would say.
Is aim for the heart?
Fathers, we are to train up our children and the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The nurture side means that your child has a heart. Consider their heart where they are.
But don't let them deceive you. Children are very, very smart, and they're smart from a very young age.
I hope I'm not being too practical.
And if I am, someone will stand up afterwards and tell me so, and I hope they would.
Children are very smart from a young age.
In our own experience, they're very smart. When they're six months old, the will is very much in action, and it's very evident. It's not too young to get started again. The Lord will give discernment for the moment.
Next.
When it comes to the rod, which is physical correction.
B Discreet.
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No one has to know that's going on other than mom and dad and the child.
You can find places and you can be discreet. I'm not saying that it can't be done, that others can know, but it doesn't harm or hurt to be discreet. If you're carrying out in the fear of the Lord, the Lord will help you with that.
The next thing is.
Be purposeful. Don't.
Don't be lethargic if you know that your child has a will and they all do and it's evident, look to the Lord for the opportunity. Not every opportunity when the will is displayed is the right occasion to deal with the matter at hand. There are times when you will not be able to deal with it. We live in a society, in a culture where you would not be wise to carry out physical corrections in certain places and that's why you might ask others for just and and certainly go.
But that doesn't mean you give up and not look for the occasion when it can be carried out.
And I would say to fathers, you know, if you're not home during the day and mom is.
And you need to be the one in the evening or whenever.
It's too hard on mom's heart. Dads, don't give up. You need to support your wife who is seeking to be a mother in the fear of the Lord. We live in a culture of, I could dare say wimpy fathers, wimpy men, men that don't want to take up with full responsibility.
Take time to find out from your wife when you're home in the evening how it's gone that day and if it's been hard for her.
You should carry on, don't give up. And finally, I would say be consistent. Your kids are watching. If you have more than one, the others are watching too. The fear of the Lord looked to him in your knees to be consistent.
The Bible says be not weary in well doing, for in due season ye shall reap if ye faint not.
Try to carry on again in a dependent way. Keep open communication as parents between.
Husband and wife and seek to take care of one another and look to the Lord. Let's close then with a verse in Ephesians.
Chapter 6.
Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4.
And ye fathers.
Notice it says Fathers, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, or might read the discipline and admonition of the Lord. And so it says, Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Very important thing for fathers. And so I just want to offer.
Perhaps so I could?
Two reasons or two occasions that it would not be wise to go forward with physical discipline.
The one would be if there's any flesh going on in my heart.
In other words, if I'm stirred up and frustrated by what I'm seeing in my child and I don't like the behavior, and so rather than in the fear of the Lord, I in the flesh rise up in anger. Correct, my child, you're not going to make progress.
The child may even at a certain age, recognize it as wrath.
Be very careful, never correct your child.
In anger or frustration, you may actually need to wait for another occasion because you've allowed. At least speaking for myself, I allowed the flesh to rise up. Now, if it happens, God is merciful. We're thankful for that. But be careful. Never.
In anger.
And finally.
And this is important. Why are we disciplining them?
So that they may understand the heart of God from a young age. Again, chastening is part of our experience here on earth for all ages.
We are not correcting our children to bring outward conformance, to create a model child or a child that has the appearance of being in good order. That's not why we're doing it. We're doing it. They may understand from a young age that there's sin in them and if they understand from a very young age.
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Then when they get to be two and three years old and they understand more.
Aren't they going to then recognize and need to repent of their own sin in the presence of God and accept the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior?
I think that that route of correction can help in that, bringing them to the point of true repentance before God. That's why we're doing it, that they may know Christ and who He is and understand from a year young age that inherent in US born and shaped and iniquity is that sin nature. That's what we're born with.
We trust that each one of our children may come to know the Lord Jesus Christ at a young age. A little child of seven or even three or four may enter into heaven through Christ the open door. And so we're disciplining with that in view, not for compliance and conformance and to achieve some level of behavior. And so I trust that these comments.
Might, umm be beneficial? Again, it's it's the word of God.
Umm, we can all go over these verses a little bit later on and and meditate on them and say, is this really what God is given? Is this the mind of God? Do I have it from the Word of God? If we have it, each one of us, from the Word of God, then we have it in the right way.