In Ephesians 6, when Paul addresses parents by the Spirit of God, it is somewhat remarkable that the first exhortation is, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath” (Eph. 6:44And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)). So also in Colossians: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger” (Col. 3:2121Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)). It is not exactly the same word in each verse, but the meaning is very similar. This is easily understood when we notice that this exhortation follows upon the call to children to obey their parents. Fathers are placed in almost absolute authority; hence the first thing the Spirit of God does in turning to parents is to admonish them as to the manner in which they should exercise their authority. We know what the flesh is, even in a Christian, and how apt we are to be tyrannical and despotic in the place in which God has set us. God, in tender consideration for those who are put in the subject position, says, “Provoke not your children to wrath.” Parents are hereby warned that they must be careful before God as to the method of their government. They must consider the feelings of their children, and while they must never forget what is due to the Lord, they must remember their weakness. They must not lay upon them more than they can bear, lest they be discouraged. A more striking illustration of God’s tenderness for children could scarcely be conceived, than is expressed in this special injunction to parents. This tenderness was exemplified again and again by our blessed Lord during His earthly pathway. And we all know how apt we are to be capricious or harsh in our rule; hence our need of this reminder. Let every father therefore remember, that if, on the one hand, God has given him the rule over his family, on the other He has carefully defined the character of its exercise, and that he is as responsible for the latter as for the former.
“Lest they should be discouraged.” How easy it is to discourage children, and especially from the right ways of the Lord! With their keen and tender susceptibilities, and quick observation and rapid detection of inconsistencies, harsh government might very soon undo years of patient teaching, and speedily mar the most careful efforts to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Parents therefore cannot be too careful on this point. It will aid them to be so if they remember that they derive their own position from divine appointment, and that their children are to be governed and trained for God.
E. Dennett