Children
The first mention of children in the Scriptures is in connection with “the woman” and it is stated, by the Lord God, “In sorrow [pain] thou shalt bring forth children.” We learn from the Apostle Paul that not only in nature, now connected with sin through man’s fall, but also in connection with the formation of Christ in the life of a believer, “pain” or “travail” is required with the bringing forth of children. “My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you” (Gal. 4; Gen. 3).
Are, then, “sorrow” and “travail” the inevitable end for those who desire to have children, natural or spiritual? No, it is not the “end” but simply connected with the beginning, the end being “joy.” “A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow... but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world” (John 16). Paul, after speaking of “labor and travail” in connection with “spiritual children” (the Thessalonian believers), says, “For ye are our glory and joy” (1 Thess 2). John says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” But the principle is travail first, then joy. Toil and labor precede rest and joy.
In the raising of our children for the glory of our Lord, two principles need to be instilled in them. Both require some “travail” on our part. They are dependence and obedience, and both must be learned in an atmosphere of love. These two things mark man in his relationship with his God, if God is to have His proper place in our lives.
We see these two principles in our Lord Jesus, both in regards to His parents and in regards to His Father. With His parents it says of Him: “And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger” (Luke 2:77And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7)). He was dependent upon His mother, and He was obedient to them: “And He... was subject unto them” (Luke 2:5151And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. (Luke 2:51)). In regards to His God and Father it says, “I was cast upon Thee from the womb” (Psalm 224Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. (Psalm 25:4)), which is dependence, and then “He... became obedient unto death” (Phil. 221Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself. (Philippians 3:21)), which is obedience—blessed Saviour!
The Lord Jesus tells His own in Matthew 5: “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil [or “from the evil one” (note from JND Trans.)].” I would like to take the liberty of connecting these two simple communications with dependence and obedience. “Yea, yea” when we as parents say, “Yes we will do that,” or, “Yes you may do that,” we should keep our word. Our word should be something that our children can depend on. “Nay, nay” “no” is a word that crosses our will and is contrary to our desires. When we say “no” to our children, it should mean “no” to them. How often does the word “no” simply start an argument or raise a series of questions from the child to the parent? Then the child’s argument requires a suitable justification from the parent before it must submit. This is a great disservice to our dear children. Sometimes an explanation might be helpful to an obedient child, but it would be rare in teaching a child obedience.
How many times the younger parents hear us who are older say to them, “Enjoy your children while they are young, for when they are older they will be a problem” or words to that effect. In our Lord’s thoughts the opposite would be true. Remember “joy” follows “travail.” The problem often is that we as parents fail to realize childhood is to be used for training (Gal. 4:1212Brethren, I beseech you, be as I am; for I am as ye are: ye have not injured me at all. (Galatians 4:12)). We often treat them as “dolls,” something to “play” with the first two or three years of their life and then wonder why we have such difficulty with them after this time. The foundation has, in a great way, been laid by then. Dependence and obedience could have been developed in a great measure by then.
But, we do fail, and it is wonderful to be able to repent and own, as parents, our failures. I say again, our failures, not our children’s failures. This will give us, in principle, the “valley of Achor for a door of hope” (Hosea 2). Then it says: “Afterward shall the children... return, and seek the Lord their God” (Hosea 3). (Here I speak of the principle of parents identifying with their children’s failures as having a contributing part in them. See Isaiah 49:20-2120The children which thou shalt have, after thou hast lost the other, shall say again in thine ears, The place is too strait for me: give place to me that I may dwell. 21Then shalt thou say in thine heart, Who hath begotten me these, seeing I have lost my children, and am desolate, a captive, and removing to and fro? and who hath brought up these? Behold, I was left alone; these, where had they been? (Isaiah 49:20‑21).) “The children which thou shalt have, after thou hast lost the other, shall say again in thine ears, The place is too strait for me: give place to me that I may dwell. Then shalt thou say in thine heart, Who hath begotten me these, seeing I have lost my children?”
While we see the world rapidly being filled with violence (Pharaoh) and corruption (Pharaoh’s daughter), both laying claims upon our children, one to have them “killed,” the other to have them “nursed for me,” may we be encouraged by the example of the parents of Moses: “By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment” (Ex. 2; Heb. 11). Travail they had, but oh the joy that is theirs to see their son in association with Christ in His coming day of glory!
H. Short