The Institution of Marriage and Related Subjects

As the child of God wends his way through this desert scene in a night of increasing moral darkness, the heart and the eye gazing eagerly, if oftentimes wearily, ahead, watching for the first glimpse of the Bright and Morning Star, the heart is cheered by every little indication, or shadow in the turning of events that points toward the break of day. Surely the kaleidoscopic developments in world affairs of the past few years have clearly indicated to those who have been awakened by the Midnight Cry, "Behold, the Bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet Him," that things are rapidly shaping up for the fulfillment of prophecies that can only have their realization after the bride has been called away out of this scene. That longed for, looked for, moment when the Bridegroom and the bride shall meet FACE TO FACE in the glory is near at hand. Yet, on the other hand, these very same changes are, as it were, hurrying this poor doomed world with accelerated speed on to its utter destruction. And what shall we say to these most significant signs? Is there not a voice in it for us, who eagerly await the coming of our blessed Lord and Savior? Surely there is.

It seems that the author of this little volume has sensed the situation as it affects our young people, either married or soon to be married, and the need for putting them on their guard against the inevitable effects of mingling with, or being drawn into, the course of a world that is plunging rapidly downward into the ruin of moral corruption.

Yet this is not all. There has been on his part, the felt need for a book that would edify and instruct our young people (and older ones too), not only as to the blessings and joys but also as to the solemn responsibilities that are involved in the various relationships discussed therein. To accomplish such a task calls for diligent study of the Word, with dependence upon the Lord for courage, wisdom, and faithfulness, not only to instruct and edify, but also to warn the reader against dangers and pitfalls that have always existed, and increasingly and alarmingly so of late. This, we believe, the author has ably and faithfully done.

One word more: How often would the writer of this foreword, together with his wife, who are now approaching within a few months of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, have profited by the instruction and counsel of such a book, if it had been put into their hands and carefully studied along with the Scriptures, fifty years ago! It is their desire, as well as the author's, that the present generation should have this opportunity and embrace it.

The Institution of Marriage: Chapter 1

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him." Gen. 2:18. At the time this statement was made, God had prepared this earth in every way to be suitable for man. The dry land, the water, the sun, the moon, and the stars were all in their respective places. Green grass, herbs, fruit trees were all readied both for the comfort and need of His creatures; while fishes, fowls, and beasts were created for their own spheres. All this is described in Gen. 1.

At the head of this fair creation, God placed the man whom He had made. All was subjected to Adam; he was its lord by divine commission. His headship was expressed in his naming "all cattle,... the fowl of the air, and... every beast of the field." But in the midst of all his blessing and dominion there was one, and only one, notable deficiency: "But for Adam there was not found a help meet for him." v. 20. There was no one who could be his companion, no one on whom to bestow the affections of his heart. Neither was there one to share his dominion.

God noted the one thing lacking for Adam's happiness and said, "I will make him a help meet for him." Nothing was to be neglected that would complete the circle of man's blessing. Accordingly, God created the woman and brought her to Adam, and Adam's mouth was opened to speak as it had not been before.

This then was the beginning of the institution of marriage; it was a divine plan and a God-given provision for His creature-man. He who would corrupt this union is guilty of affront to God, and he who despises the relationship despises God who gave it.

When the Lord Jesus was questioned about the lawfulness of divorce, He took His interrogators back to the beginning. They contended that Moses allowed them to put away their wives, and the Lord acknowledged that to be a fact, but said it was because of the hardness of their hearts Moses wrote that precept, and added, "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Mark 10:6-9. In the account in Matt. 19, when speaking of divorce, He said, "From the beginning it was not so.”

If we would have right thoughts of marriage and divorce we must go back to the beginning-back to that which God established. We shall not arrive at them from observation of world opinion or practice.

Neither polygamy nor polyandry was according to the purpose of God; He did not make two wives for Adam, nor were there two husbands for Eve. These practices are evils that came in by man. The first mention of polygamy was in the posterity of Cain who went out from the presence of the Lord and sought to establish himself in the earths Lamech, his descendant of the fifth generation, took two wives (Gen. 4:19). It was the light of Christianity which showed monogamy to be according to God (Matt. 19:4-8;

1 Cor. 7:2; 1 Tim. 3:2); the influence of this light caused much of the world to stop these practices—at least openly.

Before leaving the subject of the institution of marriage, let us notice something of deeper import; namely, God was looking forward to His Son having a bride. This is evident from the manner in which Eve was created; she was not created in the same manner as was Adam. In order for Adam to have his bride he must first go into a deep sleep-a figure of the death into which our blessed Lord went. Then Jehovah Elohim took one of Adam's ribs (perhaps another symbol of death) and closed up the flesh instead thereof, and from the rib He made the woman, so that Adam could say, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”

What thoughts of affection and care must Adam have had as he beheld Eve—one for whom he had gone into that sleep, and in all likelihood he bore in his body the marks of that procedure. She was actually a part of himself. How much different would his thoughts toward her have been if she had been created by God entirely apart from himself!

All this brings before us the depths to which the Lord Jesus went in His love for us, His ransomed people, soon to be presented to Himself as His spotless bride. In the cross of Christ we see the measure of the love of God that gave His only begotten Son for us, and the measure of the love of Christ for the Church-His body and His bride. God is love, but we would never have known it if sin had not come in and God had not gone to such lengths to redeem us. And "Christ... loved the church, and gave Himself for it." Eph. 5:25. Love could not give more than one-self, but nothing less would have met our need. It was only in this way that His love to us could have been fully displayed, and thus was responsive affection awakened in us. It is our blessed privilege "to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge." How can we know that which is beyond our capacity to know? It is like the child who was taken to the seaside; he was thrilled with the sight of the waves, and the expanse of water which he could see. When he was taken back inland to his home, he loved to tell others, "I have seen the sea." Truly he had, but little did he comprehend of its vastness, its mighty waves, its great depths, and its many wonders. As yet we are but as children wading on the ocean's strand, but we who know that He died for us have found a treasure in His love that has captivated our souls. May the sense of His love be deepened in us.

To use the simile that the Lord Himself used, He was the true grain of wheat that must fall into the ground and die in order to bring forth much fruit. He has come forth in resurrection and much fruit is being gathered as the result of the travail of His soul. Soon "He shall see of the travail of His soul, and shall be satisfied." Dear Christian reader, ponder well what we are to the Lord Jesus. With what ardent affection He views us! And remember that He not only gave Himself for us in the past, but He is occupied with us now to bring us into moral conformity with Himself, washing and cleansing us "with the washing of water by the word." And His love will never rest until He presents us to Himself in spotless purity, entirely suited to Himself. It will indeed be a wonderful time for us, but think what it will be to His own heart when He views us as that treasure for which He gave all.

Thus we see that in the institution of marriage God has told out deeper meanings than merely His loving care and concern for the happiness of mankind. And He has told us in such form that we are able to comprehend a little of what it means, for we are all more or less familiar with the marital relationship. His great love has been expressed to us in language that we are capable of understanding.

That God ever had before Him the happiness of His Son in having a bride—a bride for which He died —is further emphasized in Genesis. One of the longest chapters in the book is all about a man getting a bride; but that man, Isaac, had first to be offered on the altar as the burnt offering (in Isaac's case it stopped short of the actual offering, and a ram was substituted, but the Lord Jesus went all the way and was the true burnt offering). Isaac's being offered upon the altar is found in Gen. 22; his mother's death which is a type of the setting aside of Israel is in the 23rd chapter; and then in chapter 24 the unnamed servant, a type of the Spirit of God, is sent to find the bride for the one who had been on the altar, the place of death. The servant woos and wins the heart of Rebekah by recounting the glories of Isaac, the one to whom the rich father had given all that he had. He gives her gifts as the token and pledge of the love of Isaac and the earnest of all the inheritance which she was to share with him. Her raptured heart speaks out with clarion clearness when asked if she would go with the servant to be the bride of Isaac—"I will go.”

And today the Holy Spirit of God is in this world gathering out the bride for Christ. Has the reader's heart been won to Him who died? "Wilt thou go with this man?" As Abraham's servant did not leave Rebekah in the far-off land, but conducted her safely through the desert, and presented her to Isaac, so the Spirit of God will never leave the Church ("that He may abide with you forever"), and He is at present leading "home to the Lamb His bride." He is taking the things of Christ and showing them unto us, for He would occupy us with Christ while we are in transit through the wilderness; and when the journey is over we shall be presented to Christ as His bride. The Scripture says that Isaac was comforted when he received his bride; how about Rebekah? We are not told, for God would tell us of the greater joy which will be His Son's.

It is worthy of note that the first time the word love is mentioned in the Word of God is in Gen. 22, where it speaks of the love of Abraham for his son, his only son; the second time is in the 24th chapter where it is Isaac's love for Rebekah. Weigh it well, my soul! Love is of God, for "God is love." He loved His Son, His only begotten Son, but he loved us to the extent of giving that Son unto death; and Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it.

"As once the pleased Rebekah trod

A desert, long and drear,

While Abraham's wealth, and Isaac's love,

Rang in her raptured ear,

“So in this howling wilderness,

The Holy Ghost makes known

The Father's house, the Son's rich love

And all He has, our own.

“Blest thought! our hearts are with Him there;

We see our glorious home

Made ready for our bridal joys-

Lord Jesus, quickly come!”

Marriage in a Sin-Blighted World: Chapter 2

Everything here bears the unmistakable evidence of the presence and ravages of sin. Thorns and thistles, diminished productivity of the soil, labor and toil, sorrow and tears, disease and death, turmoil and strife, all tell their part in the somber story of the fall of man. That blessed relationship of marriage which God instituted for man's happiness shares in the common blight.

It is important for the child of God to remember that this is not his rest, and that even the very blessings of God which are connected with this earth, bear the stamp of sin and its dire results. We can take the things that God in His grace grants to us during our passage through the world, thank Him for them, and use them, while at the same time remembering their transitory and fleeting character. Nothing here is the ultimate of what God intends for us; nor is anything here to be compared with the blessings and happiness that await us when we are with and like Christ. Therefore it is a mistake for one to get his heart and mind so set on marriage as the goal of his happiness that he forgets that "the time is straitened... that they who have wives, be as not having any." And in this light we can accept marriage as those that use this world, though not as possessing it as our own (see J.N.D. Trans. of 1 Cor. 7:29).

The Apostle went on to tell the Corinthian believers that those who marry would have trouble in the flesh, but he would have spared them. Illnesses, trials, and difficulties of one kind and another will be found in the wedded state, some of which would not be known to the unmarried. We should not therefore be deceived as to the character of all here, although God can use the very trials for our souls' blessing as part of our schooling.

The Apostle as inspired by the Spirit of God was led to give his own spiritual judgment that the very highest part in a scene away from God, would be to remain unmarried and wait on the Lord without distraction (1 Cor. 7). All people, however, cannot receive this, as the Lord Himself said in Matt. 19. Many through the ages have, like the Apostle Paul, foregone marriage in order to be freer to serve the Lord. Now for many, as for him, the journey is over and it matters little whether they were married or not, but everything done for Christ will yet have a full reward from Him who is not unrighteous to forget the smallest detail of their devotedness.

Some dear saints have been known to be very miserable because marriage was unrealized in their own lives, but shall we question the wisdom and love of Him who gave His Son for us? Is He unmindful of our circumstances in life? If He saw that marriage was better, would He not supply it? Shall we not believe that we shall yet praise Him for His wisdom in withholding some things which we thought most desirable? Surely we shall yet see in these very things that try our spirits, the working of His wisdom, love, and power. A desire for marriage is, however, one of the things that we may simply tell the Lord all about, and leave our request with Him (Phil. 4:6).

A dear maiden sister in the Lord, who at a ripe old age went to be with the Lord, used to remark that single persons can be happy if they will, while married ones will be happy if they can. Now while this is not a statement of Scripture, it does contain some good human wisdom. We can take any circumstance from the Lord and seek His grace to walk happily therein. An unmarried person's happiness is not dependent on the character, disposition, or thoughtfulness of a helpmate, while the married man or woman is to some degree dependent on the compatibility of the wife or husband.

We would not say one word against matrimony, but would seek to present it in all its aspects, and from all its angles. There are trials in it that are common to man since the fall, and Christians cannot expect to escape them all. May we have a balanced view of all that is here.

"We're pilgrims in the wilderness;

Our dwelling is a camp;

Created things, though pleasant,

Now bear to us death's stamp.

But onward we are speeding,

Though often let and tried;

The Holy Ghost is leading

Home to the Lamb, His bride.”

Milestones in a Christian's Early Life: Chapter 3

It has often been said that the most important steps we take in life are taken while we are young. On our early decisions may rest much of our future life; our testimony for the Lord and our own happiness may depend thereon. Even the manner in which we earn our livelihood and the place of our residence may be determined early in life, and these in turn may influence almost everything else, all of which points out the great importance of arriving at right decisions while young. This is only possible if such decisions are directed by a wiser hand than ours. It is only as we walk with God and seek His help and guidance that we shall walk aright. And while we would emphasize the importance of a close walk with God in these formative years, yet we hasten to add that there will never come a time in the Christian's life during which he will not need to be continually cast upon the Lord, for a false step can be taken at any time.

There are three great milestones in the Christian's early life: 1. The great starting point is the moment when we go before God as guilty, hell-deserving sinners, and by faith accept the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior and Substitute. Nothing else will ever be right unless and until this step is taken.

2. Then after one is saved, the next question should be, Where shall I remember my Lord in death? The blessed One that died for us requested that we remember Him in death, and He has not left it to our own devising to find a way to do it; He very simply but explicitly told us how it should be done. Is the matter of where we do it of no importance? Are we free to do according to what is right in our eyes, as they did in the dark days of the Judges? It was not left to the Israelites in the land of Canaan to offer their gifts in any place of their choice; they had to seek out the place that the Lord their God chose, and to go to no other (Deut. 26:2). When the Lord sent two of His disciples to prepare for the eating of the last Passover, they set us a model in this connection; they asked Him, "Where wilt THOU?" They sought the Lord's directions, and He gave them minutely. So will it ever be when we have no will in the matter, but desire to know His will. This may call for great searching of heart, for often other motives get intermingled with a desire to do the Lord's will.

3. The choice of a life companion is the other great step. Some people may be disposed to place it ahead of the previous one, but they may be found to be interdependent. It is surely a step that should never be undertaken on an impulse, or without the full assurance of having the mind of God in the matter. Many dear young Christians have rushed into marriage on their own judgment, without seeking the counsel of the Lord, only to reap a whole long lifetime of sorrow and trouble. What troubles we sometimes make for ourselves!

As great crossroads may be reached by the time young people come of age, it points up the urgency of an early decision for Christ; for if one reaches the crossroad of marriage still unsaved, there is no telling which way he may go and, need we add, whatever way it is, it can scarcely be the right one. Although through God's grace one may be saved later, there may be a lot of reaping to do from a step taken while still unsaved. It is most important to have true devotedness of heart to Christ from those early days, for without that, the next steps may be taken in self-will or independence, only to be later regretted.

We see many examples of early devotedness to the Lord in the Scriptures—Joseph, Samuel, David, Paul, and Timothy, to mention only a few, were all young when they started on that path. Samuel was devoted to the Lord from a little child, and very early he learned to say, "Speak, Lord; for Thy servant heareth" (1 Sam. 3:9). May we each have more of that spirit.

Daniel was only a youth when taken to Babylon as a captive, but at his tender age he walked in all good conscience before God. He knew times had changed from the days of Israel's greatness, but he believed that the word and truth of God had not altered. As a young man he was faithful to God in a strange land under very trying circumstances. Four words, each beginning with the letter "p," characterized that dear man from youth to old age; they are purpose, prayer, praise, and prosper. In a very marked way Daniel purposed in his heart to please God; he was also a man given to prayer, not only in times of special stress, but as the regular habit of his life; when he received the much desired answer to his prayer in chapter 2, the first thing he did was to stop to praise God; and because "them that honor Me I will honor" is true, God caused Daniel to prosper in a strange land.

Purpose of heart is like the rudder which enables a ship to stay on a set course. A ship may be good, and have great engines, but without a rudder it is useless—it can go nowhere. Paul had a good rudder when he said, "This one thing I do." He was not a "double-minded man... unstable in all his ways"; he was a man of a single purpose, and that purpose was to get through this world to reach Christ in glory. He was not minded to tarry by the way, but to press on to "glory and the victor's crown.”

At this point we need to be reminded of the prayer that also marked Daniel, for mere human determination to please God will not suffice. We need to walk in constant dependence, realizing our weakness. The advice of a man "full of the Holy Ghost" to young believers was that they should "cleave to the Lord with purpose of heart," and we should remember that we need the constant supply of grace and help from our Great High Priest to do the same.

May the Lord grant to writer and reader alike more of this same undividedness of heart and singleness of eye that were displayed in saints of old, so that we may be kept from many a false step that would bring sorrow into our lives, and dishonor to the Lord. All of this has a great bearing on our main subject—marriage.

"Our path is most rugged, and dangerous too,

A wide trackless waste our journey lies through;

But the pillar of cloud that shows us our way

Is our sure light by night, and shades us by day.”

Choosing a Companion: Chapter 4

“In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" is an important word. It means more than simply going to God for His guidance in some great step—it is the constant and habitual acknowledging of Him in all our ways.

How many Christians have proved the truth of this verse in the Lord's gracious and wise undertaking for them in giving them suitable life companions. They were not going about seeking a wife or a husband, but committing their whole path to Him, and in process of time just exactly the right person was brought to them. In contrast with this we sometimes see people—Christians at that—rush into marriage for life with less thought than they would use when hiring a bookkeeper for an office—one who could be discharged on a week's notice. Still there are others who shop around for a wife like a man searching out the pedigree of some livestock he wishes to buy. In the one case this important step is lightly taken, and in the other it is taken in human or perhaps sensual wisdom. This is not the wisdom that comes from above.

It is very dangerous for people to give advice to others as to whom they should marry; it has often turned out disastrously. There are some points, however, that we feel bold to make, and these in respect of those whom we should not marry.

First and foremost it is abundantly clear that a Christian should never under any circumstances marry an unbeliever, for how can two walk together except they be agreed (Amos 3:3)? How can a child of light link himself with a child of darkness and expect the blessing of the Lord? The Word of God is as plain as anything can be that such a union is wrong—"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?" 2 Cor. 6:14, 15.

For two people to walk together they must find a common level on which to walk; otherwise there will be constant friction with one pulling against the other. This can only make for general unhappiness. Where then, we ask, can a believer and an unbeliever find a common level on which to walk? Plainly on the level of the unbeliever only. It is obviously impossible for the unbeliever to be lifted up and given to walk the path of faith, for he does not possess the life and nature capable of it; therefore the only alternative is for the believer to drop down and walk on the carnal plane where the man of sight walks. Mutual understanding is not accomplished in such a case by each giving in a little; the believer has to give up seeking to please his Lord. This is woefully solemn, and nothing but sorrow can accrue as a result.

There have been believers who in considerable ignorance of the mind and Word of God married unbelievers, and sometimes the Lord in His gracious overruling brought the unbeliever to the full knowledge of salvation. This is just marvelous grace on His part. If these lines should fall into the hands of any who find themselves married to unbelievers, we suggest that they simply and fully lay the whole matter before God, thoroughly judging themselves for any sin or failure, and trust Him to work in the heart of the unsaved companion through whatever circumstances He may be pleased. But let any beware who would be tempted to take such a step in open disobedience.

It is indeed a solemn thing to be united in life to one from whom the child of God will be separated throughout eternity. If there is love between them the thought would be intolerable. And think of living in that close relationship with one to whom their Lord and Savior is not precious. Even in those who are amiable and polite, there lies beneath the surface an innate hatred to God and His Christ. The unbeliever is an enemy of God, and all the enmity is on man's part; God loves the sinner and beseeches him to be reconciled. What sweet communion would be denied to the saints who could not converse in the home about the loveliness of Christ, or about the treasures found in the Word of God. Think of the loss of not being able to bow the knee together and address God as Father, and to open out the hearts to Him in supplication and prayer. And in times of trial and adversity the unsaved one could not take sweet comfort from God and His Word, and each would feel a loneliness.

There is also a subtler snare which Satan sometimes casts before the feet of the saints. He leads them to be attracted to an unbeliever, and as the attachment grows they find themselves somewhat involved; conscience begins to accuse them and they are ready to turn back, when suddenly the unbeliever makes a confession of faith in Christ. It is understandable that any Christian would fondly hope that such a confession would be real, and the tendency at this point would be for the believer to accept it as such. Admittedly it would make the situation more difficult and complex, but never would the believer have greater need to be on his guard, and above all to seek the Lord's help. Men of otherwise blameless character have been known to deliberately deceive Christian girls in order to gain them as wives, and so have lovely worldly girls deceived Christian young men. If there ever was a time when a confession of faith should be treated with a wait-and-see attitude, it is where the hope of matrimony is involved. Perhaps more often than not, these cases have proved to be false. Some of those whose profession was spurious were not minded to deceive anyone, but through the influence of one they loved, they sought to comprehend salvation, and finally arrived at a state of mental apprehension, but the conscience had never been reached. It was a mere intellectual assent, perhaps arrived at through an admirable desire to please one they loved. This is perhaps one of the most cleverly devised traps for the feet of a young believer. May God preserve any who read these lines from being thus deceived. Remember that, in many cases, human cleverness is not sufficient to detect reality, or the lack of it; and he who "trusteth in his own heart is a fool." At such times our own wishes may become so intermingled with a desire to please the Lord that we can persuade ourselves of anything. May He keep the feet of His saints from this pitfall.

A less upright heart has sometimes taken the view that they can marry the unsaved one, and then later be used to that one's conversion. This is fallacious reasoning, and has generally proved contrary to fact. And why should it succeed? Will God bless us in disobeying Him? Shall we "do evil that good may come?" All who enter marriage with an unsaved companion do it in direct disobedience, even though they think thus to convert the other. Such can only expect unhappy consequences.

Compatibility: Chapter 5

We have already noticed that it is always wrong for a Christian to marry an unbeliever, and thus form an unequal yoke (2 Cor. 6:14). There is also a matter of importance which should concern one Christian marrying another Christian; that is, the question of compatibility. Christians, as other people, vary greatly, both in nature and character, and in environment and circumstances. They also comprise a wide range in spiritual states. In all this variety of qualities and attainments there are some believers who would be quite unsuited to be united together in marriage, for there would be little likelihood of their making the adjustments that would be needed for harmony. Some thought, therefore, should be given to this important matter, for there should be a reasonable possibility of each adapting himself to the other.

It is sad but true that there are many Christians united in marriage who are very unhappy in their marital relations. "These things ought not so to be," for they are a poor testimony before the world, and are displeasing to the Lord. When people are joined in matrimony they must make adjustments, and the due exercise of Christian graces should substantially help to produce harmony. Also if each follows the scriptural instruction for his own conduct, much friction will be avoided.

We have known some who from the first day of married life failed to exercise grace or to make the adjustments which mutual Christian love would bring about; such were doomed to unhappiness.

Now we fully believe that if a child of God looks to his Father for wisdom, and seeks the Lord's will and mind, being subject to it when known, then he need have no misgivings in taking the step into marriage. In 1 Cor. 7 we read these words, "free to be married to whom they will," but "only in the Lord." Now that last expression means much more than merely marrying another Christian-"in the Lord" implies recognizing His authority. One who belongs to the Lord that bought him has no right to please himself any more, but should ask, "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?" The Lord will never lead anyone into a marriage that cannot succeed. If it is of the Lord, there will be the suitability or adaptability that is needed.

Knowing that our poor treacherous hearts may deceive us into thinking we have the Lord's mind in our marriage prospects, it behooves us to weigh the matter of what adjustments would be required, and whether such would be possible. Let us cite a few examples: Suppose the case of a young lady brought up in surroundings of wealth; is she going to be willing to accept what her comparatively poor husband can supply? Will the lowered standard be irksome to the point where it will produce friction? There is a possibility that such a gap can be bridged successfully if there is sufficient true love, but it is not well to rush into marriage without careful consideration of the problems involved.

Or in spiritual matters, will both husband and wife be willing to seek to please and serve the Lord with the same measure of devotedness? A. divergence here would be a hindrance to mutual understanding and cooperation.

Sometimes there is a great disparity in the physical realm, and one is strong and robust while the other is weak and sickly. In such a case, will they be willing to make the necessary adjustments and not be irked?

Great differences in ages or languages may make almost insurmountable barriers. Many other things might be added but these should suffice to point out the principle we have named, and the need for consideration before a step is taken that cannot be retraced.

We can imagine few regrets worse than coming to the realization that one has married the wrong person. If these lines should fall into the hands of any who have such feelings, we beseech you for His name's sake to seek His help in exercising much Christian grace and forbearance, so as to make your home one in which the Lord will be honored. If this is truly done in His fear, He can bring much peace and happiness into your lives.

However, not all instances of marital unhappiness are due to incompatibility. In many cases it is the direct result of a low state of soul, where the husband or wife (or both) has gotten away from the Lord. And who is more unreasonable and harder to get along with than a Christian in a bad state of soul!

May any who read this and are having family difficulties, search themselves before the Lord for the cause; then judge themselves unsparingly before God; putting away at once whatever has come in and formed a crust over the soul, thus hindering personal joy in the Lord. Walking in communion with God is a great safeguard from the many dangers and evils which beset us.

"O Lord, Thy love's unbounded,

So sweet, so full, so free—

My soul is all transported,

Whene'er I think on Thee!

“Yet, Lord, alas! what weakness

Within myself I find,

No infant's changing pleasure

Is like my wandering mind.

“And yet Thy love's unchanging,

And doth recall my heart

To joy in all its brightness,

The peace its beams impart.

“Still sweet 'tis to discover,

If clouds have dimmed my sight,

When passed, Eternal Lover,

Towards me, as e'er, Thou'rt bright.

“O keep my soul, then, Jesus,

Abiding still with Thee,

And if I wander, teach me

Soon back to Thee to flee.

“That all Thy gracious favor

May to my soul be known;

And, versed in this Thy goodness,

My hopes Thyself shalt crown.”

Their Own Tribe: Chapter 6

In Numbers we read of a man by the name of Zelophehad who died leaving five daughters and no sons. In Israel only the sons could inherit the father's possession, so a special dispensation was granted (Num. 27:1-11) and the daughters received the inheritance. Later (Num. 36) the leaders of the tribe of Manasseh protested to Moses that if the daughters of Zelophehad married outside of their own tribe, then the possession would go to another tribe. In response to their plea, Moses said, "This is the thing which the Lord doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry." They were thus limited to marry men from the tribe of Manasseh.

From this ancient and divine decision, we may draw a lesson for this day. We have already seen that it is never right for a believer to marry an unbeliever, for that is a very serious infraction of the injunction against the unequal yoke. But what shall we say of a child of God marrying another child of God when they are not of the same mind in the things of the Lord? when one is associated with a group of Christians opposed to the position of the company with whom the other is identified? Such a marriage could not correctly be called an unequal yoke in the sense of one being a child of light and the other being a child of darkness, for they are both saved by the precious blood of Christ. It would not be linking Christ and Belial, a believer with an infidel (or unbeliever), or the temple of God with idols as found in 2 Cor. 6:14-18, and yet it would very likely be a most unhappy union, fraught with danger to both partners and to their posterity. It is in this connection that we would apply the marrying-in-their-own-tribe rule of Num. 36.

In this day when Christendom is all broken up into fragments of men's devisings, what makes a greater barrier in the Christian home than when one goes one way and the other goes another way in the matter of Christian fellowship. How can there be any unity of purpose in following the Lord when husband and wife are not one in His things. They may both be zealous Christians, may read the Word of God together in the home regularly, may pray together, but when Lord's day morning comes and one goes by himself to a place of his choosing to assemble with other Christians, and the other goes alone to remember the Lord elsewhere; what oneness is there in that? Or perhaps for the sake of peace one gives in and goes along to where he knows it is not the right place; is that a happy condition? A compromise is seldom, if ever, a satisfactory solution.

If any should find themselves in such a plight, we would suggest that they unitedly give themselves to prayer and waiting on the Lord for Him to show them each where He would have them both to go, for we know it is not His will that Christians should sit at home and have no place of united Christian worship. His Word says, "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Heb. 10:25. Neither have we any right to choose for ourselves where we should assemble together. If there is a division of thought between husband and wife on this most important matter, then one or the other, or perhaps both, are wrong. It will only be by humbly seeking the Lord's will in the matter and laying aside their own wills that harmony according to God can be achieved in the home.

When the Lord Jesus sent two of His disciples to prepare that last Passover supper, they did not separate and go to different places to prepare for the supper, nor did they agree on a place that they deemed would be suitable; they had no will in the matter, and in all simplicity asked the Lord, "Where wilt THOU that we prepare?" Luke 22:9. That should be a pattern for all today. We should lay aside our thoughts and predilections and ask the Lord where He would have us answer His one request—"This do in remembrance of Me"—and otherwise assemble for prayer, ministry of the Word, and gospel activity.

Another sad result of a divided house in the matter of where to worship God, is that the children become bewildered, and frequently grow up going neither to the place of the father's choice, nor to that of the mother's, but seeking out some other religious connection of their own. Perhaps they may drift away into the world, forgetting the God of their father and mother. There can be many sad results of a division between father and mother in this essential part of Christian living.

Early Steps: Chapter 7

It would not be amiss to say a few words about the early steps that often lead to great consequences, either for good or bad. Young Christians need to be particularly careful in the choice of their companions. We are all more or less influenced by the company we keep; therefore we should guard against friendships that could lead us into wrong paths.

In Acts 4:23 we read of the apostles that "Being let go, they went to their own company." Who were their own company? Why the Christians, of course. Then as now Christians were greatly in the minority; they were surrounded by Jews on the one side and heathen of all degrees on the other, but these early Christians desired to be, and kept, in their own company.

We have to mingle with unbelievers at school and at work in the performance of our daily duties, but it is not necessary to carry such associations beyond the bounds of duty. To become companions of them, or to mix socially with them, is a dangerous course.

From these associations which are not kept to the minimum of what duty requires, come many unhappy marriages. Perhaps a young sister will say that she only keeps close company with young ladies in the world (they are not her own company, however), and when those bonds grow stronger a girl friend may say, "I want you to meet my brother." This may be a situation that was not calculated on, and before long the young Christian has been led to accept the offer of an evening with a girl friend's charming young brother. Let it not be supposed that this is merely a hypothetical case; such things do happen.

We have remarked about those whom the Christian should not marry; shall we not add that if a young man never went out with an unsaved girl, he would never marry her. And if a young sister never accepted attentions from an unsaved young man, she would never marry him. We cannot stress too strongly the need of watchfulness against the first steps in the wrong direction. If there is no first step, there will be no second one, no third one, and no ultimate marriage.

We have seen young believers trapped by being asked to go out with an unbeliever just once. After that it became easier to do it again, and before long a strengthened bond of friendship was formed. Frequently persons interested in the welfare of young Christians walking into such a trap, have sought to warn them. A common response to such a warning is an assurance from the young believer that marriage is not contemplated, and that it would not even be considered with an unbeliever. Perhaps young people who respond in this manner are sincere, but human affection is a delicate thing, and most unpredictable. It can get in and grow almost unperceived for a time, but when it is well rooted, it is only removed by a very painful operation. It may leave wounds and scars that last for years, for to give up one after the affections have become involved, is not done without some sorrow and perhaps broken hearts.

Christians have been caught in such webs as a fly is caught in the most filmy and delicate spider's web, and then rather than break the heart of one they have come to love, they have chosen to deliberately disobey God. At this point they usually try to persuade themselves that the one they love is a Christian after all, but does not have the ability to express it correctly. There is nothing quite so gullible as a heart entwined around another's. Such can be so thoroughly deceived as to believe the very opposite of the truth. Again, young Christians, we warn and plead with you to beware of the early steps that may lead to an unsuitable marriage, or that may lead you away from the Lord into any one of many sorrowful paths.

Engagements: Chapter 8

While every contact or association of young Christians need not culminate in marriage, yet it is to be deplored when the ways of the world are so far followed by any as to play lightly with the affections of another. God has placed affection in the human heart and it should not be trifled with. A young brother should be careful not to lead a young sister along without serious intentions, and vice versa; we have, however, known some cases of the most casual friendships that were taken for more than they were worth. This is equally a mistake, but every upright soul knows when he is misleading another with a show of intention that in reality does not exist. It is to the dishonor of the Lord when hearts are broken through the indulgence of flirtations; and such conduct, even if both the young man and the young woman understand that it is not intended seriously, is utterly unworthy of a Christian.

After a period of waiting on the Lord to be sure of having His mind, the time may come for the young man and the young lady to enter into an agreement—to become engaged. This should be a time of happiness, for they would then be bound to each other by promise, and they would look forward to the time when they would be united to each other.

A time of espousal is specially sanctioned in the Scriptures. Rebekah was betrothed to Isaac through the intermediary of Abraham's servant before she began the long trek through the wilderness to become the bride of him who had been on the altar. In the New Testament we read of the espousal of Joseph and Mary. They were not yet married but anticipating the nuptial day. And today every Christian is in much the same position; he is destined to become a part of the bride of Christ, but he is still waiting. Paul said, "I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ." 2 Cor. 11:2. This is the day of our espousal, and what should our attitude be? We should be filled with thoughts of Him who has promised to take us for His own, to be His companion. Our hearts should go out with longing anticipation of that blessed moment when He shall present us to Himself as His spotless bride.

It would be wholly out of place for a betrothed young woman to accept attentions from young men other than her fiancé, for it would show that her heart was not fully won by the one to whom she had pledged herself. So it betrays a sad lack in our affections for our Lord and Savior when we forget Him, to find our enjoyments in the paltry things of the world. All that is in the world is in the power of the enemy of the One who has betrothed us to Himself. May our hearts enter more fully into the spirit of an espousal, while we long to see Him, to hear His voice, and to be with Him whom absent we have learned to love.

In the world this is a day when marriages are lightly entered into and easily broken; engagements are also taken lightly, quickly made, and often broken, but it should not be so with Christians. Engagements are serious matters, and should not be entered into unless with the express intention of marriage. They should be considered binding and treated as definite obligations. Will Christ ever become false to His promise to take us to Himself as His bride? No; never, never. His Word is as good as His deed, as the poet said,

"His promise is yea and amen

And never was forfeited yet.”

For one to break an engagement, he should have a reason that the Lord would sanction.

We might mention, however, that if a believer became engaged to an unbeliever he should seriously consider whether or not he should disobey God and marry an unbeliever. Sometimes people have pleaded that they gave their word regarding something and therefore they should do what they know to be wrong. Herod was one of these; he promised Salome anything she asked, and when she asked for the head of John the Baptist he kept his oath and committed murder. In such a case it is not hard to discern the fallacy of pleading a promise against known duty.

If one should find himself in the predicament of being engaged to an unbeliever, he should be much in prayer about it, seeking of the Lord a right way out of a wrong thing. We can dishonor the Lord in the manner of extricating ourselves from a position He could never sanction. In some cases only the Lord can make a way out; and we may have to wait on Him while we judge our failure that led us to take the false step. Perhaps open frankness in speaking to the unbelieving spouse, owning one's own failure and sin, and showing what the Scriptures say, may be very helpful at such a time.

Display of Affection: Chapter 9

There are danger spots in this world which should be sedulously avoided by the child of God. One of these, over which we would erect a beacon, is the display of human affection—a thing right and proper in its place, but a most dangerous snare for the unwary. Perhaps there is no more slippery place for a Christian's foot; it is on the brink of a pit of sorrow into which many dear Christians have fallen. An unguarded moment, a careless act, may give the flesh and the devil an opening which would lead to public dishonor to the Lord and a permanent blight on a Christian's testimony.

Young Christians who have been brought up in a day of great moral laxity in the world, need to be guided by the Word of God rather than by what they see in the ungodly, or even in other Christians. The whole atmosphere of the world is permeated with a degraded sense of what people "know naturally, as brute beasts." The prince of this world is leading it down the road once trodden by the depraved Roman Empire where virtue was almost non-existent.

We would therefore give some words of advice and of warning regarding caressing, or display of affection. Here we may confidently draw upon the wisdom found in the Word of God. Let none say, It is old-fashioned, or out-of-date. Sound wisdom is found only in the Word of God, and it is never old-fashioned or outmoded. "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to Thy word." Psa. 119:9.

Caressing is a display of human affection, one for another. It is indeed a beautiful thing in its proper place. God Himself has placed affection in the human breast, and He has endowed us with the capacity to manifest it, but surely it is to be done with propriety and discretion. The present widespread practice of promiscuous caressing has degraded it to the level of cheap fleshly indulgence.

In every several relationship there is becoming conduct for one who seeks to walk in the fear of God and pleasing to the Lord. For instance, there is the affection that belongs to the relationship of parents to children, and children to parents; and to lack natural affection is not of God—it is one of the signs of the last days (2 Tim. 3:3). But even between parents and children there is a becoming demonstration of love and affection that should not be violated, nor should it be indulged in by those who are not in that relationship—only a daughter should be shown the affection that belongs to a daughter, and only a son should be given a son's place. The time has not come when we can let our affections loose; they must be guarded by discretion and wisdom as given by God. He who gives free rein to his feelings is walking on the brink of sorrow. As long as we have the old nature with its lusts with us, and that will be as long as we are in the body, we shall have to have our loins girded with truth.

Then there are the displays of affection that properly and only belong to the relationship of husband and wife. There is that which is suitable in those whom "God hath joined together," and even in marriage there is to be propriety, as Heb. 13:4 admonishes: "Let marriage be held in every way in honor" (see J.N.D. Translation). Carelessness in observing these distinctions, and laxity in showing becoming conduct and proper delicacy have brought sorrow into many hearts.

There is also a suitable display of affection in those who have become engaged and are pledged to marry each other, but which would be entirely out of place in those not betrothed. It should, however, be remembered that persons who are engaged are not actually married, and that every display of affection for each other should be conducted with self-restraint and wise discretion. (In the "young man's book“— Proverbs—discretion is referred to a number of times.) How much better, safer, and happier to refrain from overstepping the bounds of propriety, and to enjoy only what is suitable, while anticipating the time when affection can be displayed more fully. Those who guard themselves in this are not losers, and when the proper time comes for a fuller display of affection, they have an increased joy in that which has been kept pure. "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered." Prov. 28:26.

For those who are not engaged the rule of "hands off" certainly is wise and safe. Oh, how much sorrow Christians have brought on themselves (and dishonor to the Lord) by overstepping what is becoming, to give way to mere fleshly indulgence. Satan is ever ready to set a trap for our feet, and he uses the "lusts of the flesh" very successfully. It is one of the marks of the "children of wrath" that they fulfill the "desires of the flesh and of the mind" (Eph. 2:3). But we are exhorted to "abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul" (1 Peter 2:11).

We should also remember that marriage is the blessed type of Christ and the Church. The man represents Christ, who has loved the Church and given Himself for it; and if a man plays with affections and trifles with that which is sacred, he most surely is not true to that which he should display; nor is a young sister true to being a type of the Church in single-eyed espousal to Christ if she allows or receives embraces and intimate attentions from others than her own husband, or husband-to-be—in the latter case with due limitations. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "For I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ." 2 Cor. 11:2.

These remarks will not square with either the general ideas or practice in the world, but when has the world ever been able to set a suitable standard of conduct for the children of God? The world is hastening on to its doom and is daily increasing in moral laxity and depravity, but God has called us out of it to Himself. May we remember the words of our Lord Jesus as He prayed to His Father (John 17); He made a great distinction between the world and those who are His, and He desired that we should be kept from the evil. It would be well for us to read carefully the fifth chapter of Ephesians where we are called to be imitators of God while in this morally dark scene; we are to avoid all uncleanness, have no fellowship with it, walk as children of light, and be circumspect and wise. May the Lord give us HIS thoughts of what is becoming of those who are thus called out of this world to Him who is holy.

The Wedding: Chapter 10

At last the nuptial day comes—that happy time when the bride and the bridegroom are to be united in marriage, in the Lord. It is a time for the brothers and sisters in Christ to "rejoice with them that do rejoice." Surely it is becoming to desire and to have the fellowship of other Christians in taking the great step, "for we are members one of another," and if "one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it.”

There was a day when the Lord Jesus and His disciples were invited to a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and they went (see John 2). We know that this incident has a typical application to the blessing of Israel in a future day, when He shall supply their joy, but yet the fact remains that He sanctioned a marriage by His presence. This has sometimes been used to bring in His name to give approval to very extravagant and sumptuous displays, but we should seek to keep our balance in all things. While fellowship in a wedding is plainly desirable, yet acting as though we were already reigning as kings (1 Cor. 4:8) is incongruous with our place as exiles-"strangers and pilgrims." It does not comport with our being nothing in this world where our Lord and Savior was cast out, nor does it show the spirit of using this world, but not disposing of it as our own (1 Cor. 7:31; J.N.D. Trans.). May the Lord give to His own, grace to be willing to bear the marks of strangership, while at the same time accepting as from His loving hand the gracious provisions He has for us, whatever they may be.

A wedding is the time when we connect in our minds the books of Genesis and Revelation. In Genesis we find the divine institution of marriage, and in Revelation we find the great antitype—the grand moment to which God Himself looks forward—when the heavenly Bridegroom shall take His bride—the bride He died to win. So at a wedding we look backward and forward. How that forward look should fill our hearts with rapture and praise! Our Lord Himself is patiently waiting to have us, the prize of "the travail of His soul." Then shall He be satisfied and all heaven shall rejoice, for "the marriage of the Lamb is come.”

On earth there is sometimes speculation about how the bride will be attired, and the Word of God tells us of our attire in that coming scene when we shall be the bride: "And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousnesses of the saints." Rev. 19:8; see J.N.D. Translation. Our garments shall be the very things that in this scene our Lord has wrought in us by His grace and His Spirit; they are all of Himself. The little things done today and yesterday for Him; the things that God has wrought, both the willing and the doing of His pleasure, shall be seen there to enhance our beauty to Him, and all to His own praise.

Time soon makes its marks on all here, and a bride is not long a bride, but in Revelation we read of the Church as the bride more than 1,000 years after the marriage: "And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." Rev. 21:2. At this time the whole Millennium will have run its course and the eternal state will have begun, and still time has made no change in the glory and beauty of the bride of the Lamb. Yes, He shall present her to Himself without spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing" (Eph. 5:27). Spots speak of defilement, and wrinkles of decay, but neither shall ever mar that blessed scene to which we are going. It is worthy of note here that she is "adorned for her husband," not for the eyes of others. He will then see that pearl of great price for which He sold all, and see her in the beauty that He Himself has placed upon her. We shall be for Him exclusively in that day, and be just as He would have us. Lord, hasten the time! And while we shall be arrayed in robes of beauty that He has given us, we shall not be occupied with them, but with Himself, as the poet has so aptly expressed it:

"The bride eyes not her garment,

But her dear bridegroom's face.”

There is another glimpse of the heavenly bride, where she is seen "descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God" (Rev. 21:10, 11). Here the bride character is not so much stressed as that of "the Lamb's wife"; it is the glory that she will have before all as connected with Him who is the heir of all things. We shall have a beauty that is all for Himself; we shall also have a glory before the whole universe as being "the Lamb's wife"—the one who will share all His vast dominions. Both shall be ours, dear fellow-Christian.

There will also be guests invited to that marriage of the heavenly Bridegroom and the bride—"And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb." Rev. 19:9. Only those who are saved between the day of Pentecost and the rapture will be a part of the bride, but there will be myriads of other saints in heaven—all of the Old Testament saints. Yes, and John the Baptist who said he was just a friend of the Bridegroom, will be there as one of the invited guests. They will have their own peculiar joy in witnessing His joy.

We have dwelt on these certainties of hope, for our appreciation of them will greatly augment our joy, either in being a bride or a bridegroom, or one of those who rejoice with them at a wedding here, while we wait for the reality there.

There is one more word of caution, however, that might be added as to what is suitable conduct at a wedding. We have spoken of the unsuitability of a lavish display, but there is also a danger of dropping into another of the world's ways, of rowdyism with noisy or unseemly pranks. These rough displays show an entire lack of respect for the holy institution of matrimony; they are disgraceful affairs for those who profess to be followers of Christ. May all suitable decorum be accorded to every Christian wedding.

The marriage ceremony completed, the bride has taken her husband's name. This is indeed a scriptural principle, for in Gen. 5:2 where the record of Adam's and Eve's creation is mentioned it adds that God "blessed them, and called their name Adam." She was so identified with her husband that her name also became Adam, or as we might say today, Mrs. Adam. Thus shall we be identified with Christ.

"He is coming as the Bridegroom,

Coming to unfold at last

The great secret of His purpose,

Mystery of ages past.

And the bride, to her is granted,

In His beauty then to shine,

As in rapture she exclaimeth,

'I am His, and He is mine!'

Oh, what joy that marriage union,

Mystery of love divine!

Sweet to sing in all its fullness,

`I am His, and He is mine!'”

A New Relationship: Chapter 11

The young man and the young woman who have just been married now enter upon what is for them an entirely new relationship—a blessed one indeed, if it is of the Lord. Prior to this time they have trodden life's pathway separately; now they have been united to tread it together, as "heirs together of the grace of life." They may now share all their joys and sorrows. Someone has said that this doubles the joys and halves the sorrows. However true this may be, there are definite blessings and compensations in being happily married "in the Lord." It is also true that the wife "careth... how she may please her husband," and the husband "careth... how he may please his wife." 1 Cor. 7:33, 34. This is as it should be, only each needs to be careful not to give to the other what belongs to the Lord. He is our Lord, and all we have and all we are belong to Him, and we should not let the blessings come between us and Him. We have treacherous hearts and they can make an idol out of anything. "Children, keep yourselves from idols."

1 John 5:21. It has been said that an idol is anything that displaces Christ in our affections, and that one may have an idol for a moment, a month, a year, or a lifetime.

To be lacking in loving care for each other would be deplorable; it would bear the mark of that evil condition which exists in the last days—"without natural affection." A good motto for young married people (in fact, for all married Christians) is, "each for the other, and both for the Lord.”

One cannot fully understand the beauty and affection of the marriage relationship without being in it. The depth of love that makes one forget self and seek the happiness and good of the companion the Lord has given is only known by experience. But without this unstinted and self-sacrificing love on the part of each, many joys will be unknown, or otherwise tarnished. Not that two people will always see things alike, but love is a great balm in any disagreement. It has truly been said that there should be "two bears" in every home-"bear and forbear." The very closeness of the relationship will accentuate little differences and call for the prompt application of the spirit of love and understanding.

New Responsibilities: Chapter 12

In whatever relationship we stand there are certain responsibilities that devolve upon us, and these can only be properly fulfilled when we understand their nature. There is one Book, and only one, which puts everything in its proper place, and which gives perfect directions for our conduct.

Before these young people were married they occupied the relationship of children to parents. This is a blessed position, especially for Christian children of Christian parents. They did not lack for words of wisdom regarding how to act toward their parents, for God has said, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise." Eph. 6:1, 2.

“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord." Col. 3:20.

It was not merely that they were to obey their parents, but they were to do it "in all things," "in the Lord." This is not the way the flesh would choose, but it is the way of blessing. The parent's decision may not please the child; nevertheless, obedience is to be rendered "in the Lord." How much easier it makes the doing something that we naturally dislike, when we do it "in the Lord." God has constituted certain authorities on the earth, and that of parents is one of them. If children disobey their parents they are also disobeying God. Even though the parents may make mistakes, this does not absolve the child from obedience.

Perhaps the newly married couple had reached the place before their marriage where they were no longer children at home under their parents' roof.

They had passed the stage of childhood obedience, but even then they were told: "Honor thy father and mother." This, we believe, is always obligatory. Honoring father and mother, brings certain blessings; it was the first commandment given to Israel which had a promise connected with it.

It it also likely that before their marriage they had been employed in some capacity. When they took their first position and started to work, they for the first time occupied the position of servants to masters. In this also they needed divine guidance so that they might glorify God in that position. The Christian employee must never gage his conduct toward his employer by that of the unconverted among whom he works. Unfaithfulness and general disregard of the employer's rights and good are to be witnessed on every hand. But God says that the servant is to obey his master in all things, "not with eye-service, as men pleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Col. 3:22, 23.

All is to be done as to the Lord, and in so doing Christian employees "may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior" (Titus 2:10). The fact that these instructions supposed the case of bond slaves does not in the least lessen their force for those gainfully employed in this day of lawlessness and disregard for authority.

When the Spirit of God would teach husbands and wives their respective responsibilities in Eph. 5, He first brings before them the one great example-Christ and the Church. We thus may learn from the greater what the lesser should be. We would never accurately understand the greater by studying the lesser.

“Christ... loved the church, and gave Himself for it." v. 25. Can anything compare with the measure of that love? Gave Himself! What depths are here expressed! Could love give more? And that giving of Himself took Him all the way through the agonies of Gethsemane, the forsaking by His own, the denial by Peter, the treachery of Judas, the smiting, the spitting, the mockery, and finally the cruel cross where, in those three hours of darkness He was made sin for us, and so, forsaken of a holy God. Well may we exclaim, "The love of Christ, which passeth knowledge," while at the same time seeking to learn more of it.

This then is the great standard set before husbands-"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." What Christian man occupying that relationship would not feel his shortcoming here? Nevertheless, this is what the Spirit of God sets before us. And from these verses we learn that Christ not only loved the Church in the past (v. 25), but in the present (v. 26) and in the future (v. 27).

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." v. 28. Having already set the perfect example before us, the Spirit of God now says that men should love their wives "as their own bodies," for the man and his wife are now one, even as Christ and the Church are one.

The great Apostle learned the lesson of that oneness, and learned it well, when he was smitten by that great light from heaven on the road to Damascus. He had been persecuting the saints, the Church; now the glorified One in heaven let him know that he had been persecuting their glorious Head—"Why persecutest thou Me?”

What man can say, I love my wife as myself? Are we not more ready to think of our bodies, their aches and pains, than to think of our wives? "No man ever yet hated his own flesh." How careful we are to nurse an infected finger! In this way God would teach us something of the measure of the love of Christ to us, and show us what we are to represent in this world. The husband is to be a miniature demonstration of Christ by loving his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the Church.

Oh, the untold unhappiness and mental torture in many homes which are the direct result of the husband's failure to show becoming love to his wife! All this could be prevented in Christian homes by the husbands grasping the truth of how they are to represent Christ, and acting thereon.

There is one more point mentioned in these verses; namely, the husband is to nourish and cherish his wife "even as the Lord the church." As Christ is occupied now with nourishing and cherishing the Church, so husbands should care for their wives. Theirs is the responsibility of providing nourishment, and that not only in the way of food for the body, but spiritual aliment. This will require diligence on the part of the husband, for how can he give to another that which he does not himself possess?

If the husband is to represent Christ, the wife is to represent the Church; and what character does that call for in her? "As the assembly is subjected to Christ" (v. 24; J.N.D. Trans.), so the wives are to be subject to their husbands "in everything." None would deny that the Church has been subjected to Christ; He is her Head; but for a wife to be subject to her husband in everything is contrary to the whole course of the world.

This is a day when God's order is flouted in every sphere of human behavior. Children are not obedient to their parents, nor is such conduct advised or taught in the world. The teaching of "self-expression" for children is man's order, or rather man's disorder. Servants are not subject to their masters. Rebellion against authority is an inherent evil principle, and when it is allowed to work, only confusion and ultimate anarchy will result.

Therefore, for Christian married women the Word of God is plain; they are to be subject to their husbands. It is not a matter of inferiority, but simply one of relative position according to the wisdom of God. The being subject may not always be easy and agreeable; sometimes it may be bitter and hard; but the woman that fears God will do so, and will do it as to the Lord. The blessing of the Lord is never to be had by going contrary to His Word.

There is, however, a very happy way in which most matters may be resolved. If the husband and the wife both desire to do the Lord's will, and both earnestly seek that will, they will happily be of one mind. The husband is not to assert his authority as something to be wielded because of who he is, but he is to show all loving consideration to his helpmeet. If the wife sees in him a spirit of subjection to the Word of God and a true willingness to do whatever it says, it will be much easier for her to be subject, even when her judgment may differ very widely from his. But in any event, her place according to God is one of subjection.

A young husband once went to a servant of the Lord and asked him to speak to his wife and to tell her that the Word of God says she should be subject to her husband. The faithful and wise servant calmly replied, "The Word of God does not tell you that." What it said to him was that he was to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and as he loved himself. Perhaps there would have been no occasion for speaking to the aged servant of the Lord if the husband had been showing by his conduct the love, the nourishing, the cherishing, that was his responsibility.

When disorder and confusion reign in a Christian's home, it is generally the head who is at fault. Perhaps he has not been showing the love he should, or providing spiritual food for his household; or perhaps he has not exercised his divinely given place of head. It is not a privilege that he has as head; it is a fact, and the responsibility that goes with it should not be shirked. It may be easier, especially if his wife is quite capable, to simply relax and leave all to her. Many wives have gotten out of the place belonging to them simply because their husbands abdicated theirs.

It is really a solemn responsibility that belongs to each husband, and if he fails in fulfilling his part, need we wonder if the structure of the home becomes unstable? When a breakdown occurs, God looks to the responsible head for the reason.

What sorrow Eve would have spared herself if she had referred the serpent to her husband, saying, "He is my head; see him." Adam too was not without fault; he took the fruit from her and ate it in disobedience. One old writer said, "Adam was not deceived, but he was influenced." And how subtle the influence sometimes is! Yet the husband is responsible. God took knowledge of the danger of influence in this tender tie of husband and wife when He said, "If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom,... which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods... Thou shalt not consent... neither shall thine eye pity." Deut. 13. Here was a case where the husband might be influenced into idolatry by the wife of his bosom. Solomon was enticed in this very way, and that great and good man fell into idolatry. A wife can have a great influence either for good or evil, "but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised" (Prov. 31:30). May our influence one on another be for good; may we exhort one another daily (Heb. 10:25).

Too often the early years of married life are gone through with very little thought as to the relative position of husband and wife, or their respective places and responsibilities. People are apt to coast through those years without seeking out from the Word of God how they should conduct themselves, and in the elapsed time little evil things take root in the home which bear bitter fruit in after years. Every young married couple should know these things from the beginning and seek grace from God to carry them out. Natural wisdom, human love, or the spirit of graciousness, will not carry us straight on our course. Love apart from divine guidance may lead us astray; human graciousness may cause us to acquiesce in what we know is wrong; and human wisdom never was a safeguard for a saint of God. Solomon was the wisest man that ever lived, and he played the fool; and why? simply because he did not do what God told him to do.

First of all, when a king ascended the throne of Israel he was to write out in a book all the law as given by Moses for the direction of God's people-not merely the ten commandments. This was to be the first order of business for a new king. He was not merely to read it, but to write it out. This would impress it more deeply on him. Then he was to "read therein all the days of his life." It would be his safety and his wisdom, for in reading those words of God he was to "learn to fear the Lord his God, to keep all the words of his law and these statutes, to do them." Deut. 17:19.

If Solomon had read therein and feared the Lord he would have been kept from three things which he did, for the king was not to "multiply horses," to "multiply wives," or to "multiply to himself silver and gold" (Deut. 17:15-19).

We might also notice some words of advice to husbands and wives that are to be found in 1 Peter 3. The Spirit of God writing through Peter anticipates the difficulties and trials of the wilderness pathway, and gives wholesome words of warning and guidance. God does not want His children to be unhappy, and if we always walked according to His Word we would not be.

In this passage it speaks of dwelling together as husband and wife. This is beautiful in its place, but who does not know that when two people live together so closely and constantly as married people do, they learn each other's shortcomings and failures? After a time these might produce little irritations and so produce marital unhappiness.

Here, as in Eph. 5, the wife is to recognize the place of headship which has been given to her husband by God, and to act accordingly. She is also to wear an ornament—one that will ever be pleasing to God and that will never go out of style. The world's fashions change constantly, but the ornament of "a meek and quiet spirit" is always in good taste; it is valued at a great price by God. This beautiful ornament is seen and observed best in the confines of the home, in the family circle. There is a special danger of women following the world's fashions, so the Spirit of God brings before them the ornamentation which they should really seek to wear at all times, in contrast with other adorning.

The husband is here admonished to dwell with his wife "according to knowledge." This is not the knowledge that puffs up, but that which keeps us little in our own eyes. How important it is for us to remember our own weaknesses and the great grace that has been shown to us, as also our shortcomings in properly displaying Christ in our relations with our wives. The husband is to remember that the wife is the weaker vessel, and his wife is to find shelter at his side. This is what Christ does for the Church. The admonition should make the husband seek help and strength from God; for what husband does not secretly know that he is not a tower of strength in himself.

A sobering thought is also injected here; marriage is only for a time. They are joint heirs of "the grace of life." They are both going on to another scene where Christ their life will be displayed, and even now they possess together the grace that flows from Christ. Such thoughts as these lift their hearts away from this world to Christ and His coming glory.

By giving attention to these things their prayers will not be hindered. How can two pray together when there is discord or unhappiness between them? And how can they expect answers to their prayers if they are not walking in obedience to God? Who can measure the blessing of husband and wife praying together; it is one of the blessed privileges of "dwelling together.”

A New Home: Chapter 13

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh." Mark 10:7, 8.

God's Word does not contemplate that the newly married young couple should establish themselves in the home of their parents. The husband is to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. In Rebekah we see how the wife left her father and mother to be joined to her husband. It is only as they set up a new home (be it ever so humble) that godly order can be instituted. The young husband could not be the head in his father's home, nor in his wife's father's home; nor could the young bride carry out her new responsibilities in another's home.

We have spoken in the previous chapter of the need of weighing our responsibilities in each new position we assume. This is also important for the fathers and mothers of the bridegroom and the bride. This may be an entirely new experience for them, and one that requires serious thought before God regarding how it should be fulfilled. It requires grace to be a good father-in-law, or a good mother-in-law.

The most important thing for the parents and the parents-in-law to discover from the Scriptures is that the young couple have now begun an entirely new home, and must be free to exercise their own faith before God in the ordering of their own household. They may seek advice from the older and perhaps wiser heads of their parents, but they must learn that they have to act on their own responsibility. It is never an encouraging sign to see young people assume an independent or self-confident air, but many marriages have been spoiled through well-meant but unscriptural and unwise interference in the affairs of the newly married offspring by over-solicitous parents. Young people should not get married until they are able to embark on a united pathway of their own. And unless both the bride and the bridegroom are willing to cut loose from their parental home and begin life in entirely new circumstances with each other they should not take the step. Those contemplating marriage should understand these things and be able to say with decision, as did Rebekah, "I will go.”

One of the saddest statements to come from a bride's lips when the first difficulty or disagreement makes its appearance is, "I will go back to mother." She should have so thoroughly weighed matters before the Lord, and have been so sure of having His approval before taking the step, that the very thought of a return should never enter her mind. The same can be said for the young husband. May they remember, "They are no more twain, but one flesh." They are so indissolubly linked together in life that only the open breach of marriage or the removal of one of them from the world can make a change.

A Right Start: Chapter 14

The early days in a new school, or in a new place of employment, or in any new surroundings, are very important. The way we begin may make a vast difference in how we get on, and also how we end; therefore it is important that young married people should get a right start in their new home and association. The first words in the Bible may well be taken as a suitable motto for us in making a fresh start in anything:

"in the Beginning God.”

If the Word of God is to be our spiritual food and drink, our light, our guide, and our instructor, shall we delay in making it the foundation of order in the home? It is not just a book to have in the library, nor even a book to turn to in times of stress and trouble, but it is the Book to read in all the days of our life. Who would sail in a ship whose captain failed to consult his charts and his compass? That ship would probably end on the rocks, and so a Christian home without daily and constant reference to the Word of God for light and direction must eventually come to confusion.

The best time for the young husband and wife to bring out the Word of God and establish the practice of reading therein morning and evening, or more frequently, is the first day. It is a mistake, and a serious one, to delay this most needful step. We should read it until our very thoughts are formed by Scripture.

Moses said to the children of Israel, "Behold, I have taught you statutes and judgments.... Keep therefore and do them; for this is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the nations.... For what nation is there so great, who hath God so nigh unto them?... And what nation is there so great, that hath statutes and judgments so righteous?" Deut. 4:5-8.

Their peculiar distinction lay in the fact that they had God's Word to guide them. No other people on earth had such an advantage, and it was their wisdom to keep and do according to His words. Neither are there any on earth today, except the children of God, who have the distinct advantage of having their Father's Book in their hands. They have a source of light and wisdom that is unknown to the world. The world has its maxims and wise sayings but they are only human wisdom, and for the most part they are opposed to that divine wisdom to which the child of God has access. The world's best advice is "the counsel of the ungodly," but that man is blessed who walks not according to such counsel (Psa. 1:1).

Habit is a great thing with human beings; we are all creatures of certain habits—our meal times, our manner of dress, and a thousand other things testify to this. It is well to see to it that we establish good habits. One of these would be the regularity with which we read the Scriptures. It should become as much a part of our daily routine as partaking of food for our bodies. Very few of us ever find ourselves so busy that we neglect to eat.

But there is more to reading the Word of God than mere habit. Jeremiah said, "Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and Thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart." Jer. 15:16, David said, "The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever: the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is Thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward." Psa. 19:9-11. Unless our taste has been perverted by eating the world's fare, we shall find the Word of God sweet to our taste; it will also be the joy and rejoicing of our hearts, and we shall value it above much fine gold. Verily we have an inestimable treasure in the Holy Scriptures.

When the young couple sit down at their own table in their own home for the first time, that is the time for the husband to take his place and thank God for the food He has provided. Let not shyness keep him back from this when they eat their first meal at their own board.

The same thing is true with regard to their praying together at least morning and evening. What can be a better beginning than for the young husband and wife to bow their knees together and lift up their hearts to God in thankfulness for His goodness in bringing them together, for their own home, and for the mercies which are theirs that day? not forgetting to praise Him for the Gift of all gifts, His beloved Son. "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." 2 Cor. 9:15. What could more be calculated to unite hearts than bowing the knees together in the common expression of dependence on their God and Father, while thanking Him from whom all blessings flow, and seeking His guidance and direction for each step of the pathway? It is their privilege to unitedly tell Him all their joys and their sorrows.

We cannot overemphasize the importance of the immediate establishment of what is commonly referred to as the family altar. Nothing else can or will be right until that cornerstone of household order is in its place. We learn a lesson in the life of Abraham; he had his tent and his altar. In a sad lapse of practical faith in the "father of the faithful," Abraham went down to Egypt to escape a famine in Canaan. Instead of remaining in God's land of promise, and seeking to learn the lesson God had for him, he forsook that land and left his altar behind. He got into trouble in Egypt, and brought out of Egypt with him the seeds of trouble for years to come. Let Christians neglect their family altar and they will soon find the sproutings of seeds planted during the time of their negligence.

The question has often been asked whether the wife should pray audibly with her husband, or whether he alone should speak as their mouthpiece. This matter we prefer to leave with the individuals themselves. We see no wrong in the wife's pouring out her heart to God their Father in her husband's presence, but they should be of one mind about it, and here the husband's wishes might be the determining factor (see Eph. 5:24). If others were present it would be unseemly. It should not be forgotten that she is to have her head covered during prayer, whether she prays audibly or not, for she is in the attitude of prayer (1 Cor. 11:3-16).

One more point might be made for young Christians in regard to the establishment of their own home. This frequently takes them into a new district, among new neighbors who are not likely to know that they are true Christians. It is advisable to let their neighbors know as soon as possible that they are Christians —not in any boastful way, not in self-confidence, but as fearing God. In any new company, in the neighborhood, in the shop, in the school, in the office, or wherever it is, the sooner the Christian's colors are displayed the better, for it will preserve him from many a temptation that he might later encounter. People are ready to leave out-and-out Christians alone; they do not relish their company; but the companionship of the world would be ruinous, so the sooner it is dispensed with the better.

Sometimes we hear Christians give as an excuse for their not being present at the gospel meeting or the prayer meeting that some neighbors dropped in and they could not get away. If these neighbors knew their habit of going with utmost regularity to these meetings on set nights, they would not come; and if they did come, what better way would there be to establish what they are and whose they are than by saying, "We always go to the gospel meeting at this time, and we would like very much to have you go with us." Perhaps the opening would be of the Lord to give them the gospel.

There is also the important matter of having the Christian's home bear the impress of the faith of those who live there, so that those who come in may see that their Christianity is something that is lived and breathed. We remember reading of an aged Christian who was invited to see a spacious new home which his son had built. The son was a Christian who had prospered in the world. After the father had been shown all over the house he turned to his son and said, "Son, one would never know whether a Christian or an infidel lived here." There were none of the telltale marks of an earnest Christian in evidence, for the young man had become lean in his soul and was losing those distinctive marks of Christianity.

“What have they seen in thine house?" is a question that may well try our hearts. Are the marks of the world there, or the marks of occupation with a rejected but glorified Christ? Are those blessed Books out of which we are to read continually, in evidence? or are the Bibles carefully hidden away? or are they dust-covered, showing their lack of use? Are there any Scripture texts on the walls? After all, we should be willing to let our light be seen, and not be timid about showing our colors. In this world there are only two classes: those for, and those against Christ. May we not be ashamed of Him who loves us, but be ready to confess that we are His. May our language be of the same quality as that of those who said, "Thine are we, David, and on thy side, thou son of Jesse." It is a sign of the last days when only the Lord knows who are His; all should know it (2 Tim. 2:19).

It is a very sad spectacle indeed when the world's literature takes the place that the Bible and sound written ministry should have in the home. Young Christians starting new homes should consider the importance of screening what comes into them—seeing to it that there is plenty of spiritual fare, and that the world is kept out. The enemy has his agents to solicit your subscriptions to magazines and literature of all kinds. Beware lest these things get in and become a snare to you and rob your blessed Lord of the place that belongs to Him. Guard your home against the encroachments of the world, and never give place to that masterpiece of deception, television. Bar your doors tightly against that instrument through which the god and prince of this world would invade your home with all the sights of "Sodom" and "Egypt.”

We would caution our readers against many of the religious wall mottoes which are for sale, for mistakes and errors are to be found in them. One very common motto is, "Christ is the head of this house." This has the semblance of truth and of a desire to honor the Lord, but it is not correct. The husband is the head of the house, and he should not forget his responsibility as such. If the Lord came into your home, He would be your guest. May we keep all things in such shape that we would not be ashamed to have Him as our guest. What would He see in our homes? However, let us not forget that everything is "naked and opened unto the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.”

We have spoken of the importance of a proper start in a new community, and of regularity in attending the various meetings for worship, edification, prayer, and giving forth of the gospel. May we add a word about choosing a location for the new home. This should be done with a view both to nearness and accessibility to the place of employment, and the place of meeting. If the latter is overlooked, the Christian couple may find it difficult to get out to the night meetings, and these are essential. To choose a location far removed from the meetings is to make it easy for the flesh to give way to weariness, and to forsake the assembling together (Heb. 10:25). Some dear Christians have drifted far away as a result of such an unwise move; it has been a sad turning point in some histories. We therefore urge: Consider your spiritual needs in selecting a homesite, and seek counsel from the Lord.

Bethany: Chapter 15

When that lonely Stranger from heaven went about doing good, there were few hearts that beat in sympathy with His. He was "despised and rejected of men." We read of His going alone to the Mount of Olives, of His being all night in prayer, and of His saying the Son of man had not where to lay His head; but there was one spot on earth where the Lord could find a welcome and some measure of understanding; it was the house of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. What a blessed spot that was! a little oasis in a vast desert of pride, arrogance, and religious profession.

When our blessed Savior made that last journey up to Jerusalem and was hailed as the Son of David coming in the name of the Lord, He was forthwith rejected. He did not remain within the walls of Jerusalem over night, but retired to His retreat in the house of His friends.

The town where those devoted souls lived derived its importance in His eyes from their residing in it. In John 11:1 we read, "Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha." Think of it—"Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha." The one distinguishing thing about it was that they lived there. Its name means "the house of palms," but it was not its palms that drew the Lord thitherward, nor was it the four walls of the house in which this brother and two sisters lived, but their open hearts which gave Him a welcome where otherwise He had none.

It was this blessed trio that made Him a feast (John 12)—where each one of them carried out his part. Martha served, Lazarus sat at the table with Him, and Mary poured out her costly ointment on His blessed feet. In these three we see represented service, communion, and worship—each blessed in its place. Surely it was a feast by the way-the way to Calvary and all its woe. It was not an impulsive act of Mary's that was born at the instant, for the Lord said, "Against the day of My burying hath she kept this." It was premeditated, laid up in store for the fitting moment, and when that moment arrived she was so in the current of His thoughts as to perceive when the alabaster box should be broken and the ointment poured forth. Not only did the Lord derive the benefit from her lavish expenditure on Him, but "the house was filled with the odor of the ointment." The atmosphere of the place was permeated with the fragrance of her devotion. And is not the praise and worship of Him by one soul now a thing that is felt and in measure entered into by others?

May our hearts desire that our homes be little Bethanys. It is true, the Lord is not walking about this world now as He was then, but His dear people are here, and He has said, "He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth Me; and he that receiveth Me receiveth Him that sent Me." John 13:20. And again He says that in doing anything for one of His own, it is done for Him.

It is well when young married people weigh these matters at first, and then seek by His grace to have that kind of home in which the Lord Himself would find a welcome. We are apt to settle into a selfish attitude to enjoy our homes to ourselves, but "this world is a wilderness wide," and many of the Lord's beloved people need a little cheer and encouragement by the way. May they find it in our homes, and may we do it as unto Him; then one day we shall hear Him say, "Ye did it unto Me.”

Considerable is said in the Scriptures about showing hospitality-"Given to hospitality." Rom. 12:13; 1 Tim. 3:2. "A lover of hospitality." Titus 1:8. "Use hospitality one to another without grudging." 1 Peter 4:9. There are also other verses which bring the thought before us without using the word "hospitality.”

Hospitality to the saints does not consist in making a great feast, but in making them welcome to what you have. A sumptuous dinner may be a very formal affair with little warmth or heart in it. It is the practical application of love to the saints that is so desirable. This tends to strengthen the sense of the ties that bind us together. It also gives opportunity for helpful conversation about the Lord and His things, so that we may strengthen one another.

We shall not be the losers by expending ourselves or our resources for the beloved saints of God. The "certain Samaritan" paid the innkeeper for the care of the man he rescued, and then added that whatever he spent beyond the amount given would be repaid by him at his return (Luke 10). May the dear young people starting out in homes of their own desire that these may be formed after the pattern of that place where the Lord was always welcome—the home in Bethany.

" 'Mid scenes of confusion, and creature-complaints,

How sweet to the soul is communion with saints;

To find at the banquet of mercy there's room,

To feel in communion a foretaste of home.

"Sweet bonds, that unite all the children of peace!

And thrice-blessed Savior, whose love cannot cease!

The' oft amid trials and dangers we roam,

With Thine we're united, and hasting toward home.”

The Standard of Living: Chapter 16

When young people establish a new home they should give consideration to the standard of living which should be theirs. By this we mean the cost of the house, the manner of its furnishings, the costs of clothing, food, transportation, etc. It neither pleases God nor promotes happiness in the home to live beyond, or even up to the last cent of, our income.

In a day like the present when everything abounds for the convenience of the home, it is very easy to set up a standard that is beyond the ability of the young husband to provide. There is also a tendency with young people to want to begin their own homes at the same standard in which their parents now live, forgetting that in most instances their parents started out quite simply, and lived within their means. That "Godliness with contentment is great gain," is important to remember at all times. It is not the style of our homes, nor the model of the automobile, that are the great criteria of how a Christian is getting on; but rather, is there godliness and contentment?

Some of the happiest Christians are those who have little of this world's goods, but who enjoy Christ and the things of God, and go on in contentedness of spirit in temporal things. A striving for the things beyond one's circumstances will help to produce leanness of soul on the one hand, and the very opposite of happiness on the other.

Even from a purely worldly standpoint, it is a happy experience when young married people find it pleasurable employment to labor together on fixing up an old house, or refinishing some furniture, or on any of the many things that go to make up a home. We have heard unsaved people remark that the surest way to make newly married young folks discontented is to give them everything they could wish, so that there is nothing left to work toward. "Godliness with contentment" would, however, make us content in whatever circumstances we are.

There is another matter that deserves a few remarks. One of the greatest snares for the dear young people is that of going into debt. It is so easily done, and so often urged on them by high-pressured salesmanship, that they may slip into it before they realize. In this way their income may be encumbered for years to come. Is not this boasting ourselves of tomorrow? We do not know what a day may bring forth, and to load ourselves with obligations which can only be met by sustained employment at a certain level of income is little short of boasting of the future. God has not promised a certain amount of money for each year to come, but He bountifully gives to us day by day.

Buying on the installment basis tends to inflate our standard of living, and to raise it by borrowing against the future. We do well to remember that debt is a yoke, and often a heavy one, for "the borrower is servant to the lender." Prov. 22:7.

We must also consider that if we were incapacitated, and thus unable to meet our obligations, or if the Lord would come and take us home (this is a distinct probability at any time), the one to whom we owe would be the loser. Would this be honorable? would it comport with a proper Christian testimony?

None could approve of a Christian's defrauding a creditor. There is, however, in connection with the subject to our causing loss to another, something that might be said about the matter of secured loans, or mortgaged real estate. In such cases the title to the property has been retained by the creditor, or else it is easily regained by him, and thus he would not suffer loss, but would simply repossess his property in which there is still the same value.

It is deplorable when Christians feel that they have to keep up with their neighbors, or even with their brethren in Christ. Let us seek honestly to live within the means the Lord has given us, going on therein with thanksgiving and contentment, "in all things willing to live honestly.”

Christian Sacrifices: Chapter 17

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Hebrew believers, manifold sacrifices had been offered to God for over 4,000 years-from the time of Abel down to his day. A change had then come in and Paul was instructing them that the time for types and shadows was over, and that now they had been brought into the "better" thing. They were now to worship God by the Spirit and in the presence of God-"within the veil." The fat of rams and the blood of goats, or any of the varied offerings ordained under the Mosaic economy were not intelligent offerings for Christians.

The question might very conceivably arise in their minds, "But have we nothing to offer? is there nothing for us to present to God?" The Apostle answers that they had been brought to that better place where they had an altar, "whereof they have no right to eat which serve the tabernacle." Heb. 13:10. Those who still offered the sacrifices that only pointed on to Christ had no right to participation in that which was suitable to and characteristic of Christianity. Here all that is offered to God is the fruit of His own grace, and is but the outflow of a living connection with Christ. For faith, the old things had truly passed away.

Then the Apostle goes on to name some things that are suitable Christian sacrifices. Yes, they were permitted to offer something, even though they were to leave the temple and all its ritual. It was their privilege to offer "the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name." No temple was needed in which to offer this sacrifice, nor was it limited to certain set feast days-it was "to God," and it was "continually." Obviously only those who were children of God and indwelt by the Spirit were capable of presenting such sacrifices.

This is in keeping with a verse in Eph. 5 "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." v. 19. (See also Col. 3:16.) We see something of the character of present sacrifices of praise in the healed leper of Luke 17; he was sent to the temple and its priests where he might offer his gifts, but on being healed he got a glimpse of the glories of the Person who healed him, and he promptly turned his back on all the earthly system of worship to return to the Lord Jesus where he "fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks." He found in Him one who was "greater than the temple," but it was only discerned by faith. The natural man turns instinctively to outward forms and ceremonies for his pattern of worship.

It is therefore important that in the midst of God's blessings in giving a man and his wife a home down here where our Lord had none, there should be the spirit of praise found therein. The epistle of James reminds us that if we are afflicted we are to pray, but if we are happy then we are to sing psalms; in other words, we are to take all from God, and all to God. In this way the blessings do not displace the Blesser in our thoughts, for we acknowledge Him and render thanks to Him.

A Christian home where the Lord and His things are enjoyed will often resound with songs of praise. May this be more characteristic of our homes, for these "spiritual sacrifices" are "acceptable to God by Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 2:5. Was not the praise and thanksgiving of the healed leper precious and acceptable to the Lord Jesus? Surely it was! And now we are assured by the Word that our words and songs of praise are acceptable to Him. What a privilege is ours! and how vastly superior to that of the Jews of old.

The Apostle Paul continued, "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Heb. 13:16. Here are two more forms of sacrifices a Christian may and should offer to God. He is to do good. This covers a great field, for in many ways he may do good. He is to "do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith." Gal. 6:10. It may be in helping a sick one who needs assistance-either one of the Lord's, or perhaps an unsaved one where we may have opportunity to witness for Christ. We shall not enlarge on the great possibilities which this acceptable form of sacrifice offers. May the writer and reader have an ear attuned to hear Him direct us in ways and places to thus serve Him. Perhaps no one will know about it besides the one helped and the Lord, but that is all the better, for then our treacherous hearts shall not have opportunity to glory in it.

Then next in order is the word, "and to communicate forget not"; that is, to distribute of our money or of our goods to others, for this also is well pleasing to the Lord. We know that Israel of old were required to tithe; that is, to give a tenth of their increase to the Lord. Now there is no such word for Christians. Why? simply because we are not now under the law and commanded to do something; we are under grace and lordship. What we render to God of our temporal things should be done as the overflow of a full heart—a heart that is enjoying all that grace has wrought for us. In the matter of lordship, we are to remember that we are no longer our own; we and all we have belong to another. The Lord has purchased us and we are His. A poet has expressed it thus:

"Naught that I have my own

I call, I hold it for the Giver;

My heart, my strength, my life, my all,

Are His, and His forever.”

And David said to God, "Of Thine own have we given Thee," when they had offered generously for the building of the temple (1 Chron. 29:14).

A very important matter to consider in the establishing of a new home is the matter of Christian giving. Perhaps the husband and wife each had a way of doing this before they were married, but now they should be of one mind in this very important part of Christian sacrifices. We know there is a tendency to avoid the mention of this subject and to refrain from anything that might look like putting the saints of God back under the law where they were obliged to give whether they wished or not. To all this we agree, but is there to be no response to God who has done so much for us? Are we to take all of His blessings—salvation, eternal life, and all—and offer Him no return? Or should we accept all the bountiful blessings in temporal things and consume them on ourselves and our homes? To answer "Yes" to these questions would be to place the Christian on a lower scale than the Jew of old. If the Jew had to give, surely the Christian should desire to do so.

There are principles in the New Testament about the manner of giving. They were to give according to the way God had prospered them. If God gives us much, then we should have much reason to give to His own that are in need, and to give for the furtherance of the work of Christ in this world. God does not compel us to give, but He likes to see a liberal soul; it is the liberal soul that shall be made fat (Prov. 11:25). When the Apostle Paul was writing to the Corinthians about giving, he remarked, "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." 2 Cor. 9:15. Can any giving compare with His? Never! "It is more blessed to give than to receive," and God surely kept the "more blessed" part for Himself.

God does not want us to give beyond our ability. We should be wise in this, but nevertheless He commended the widow that cast in her "two mites"—it was so divided that she might have kept one, and then have given 50 per cent. We do not believe she suffered any lack as a result of her self-denial. Oh, that when Christians give of their substance, they would do it as to the Lord! then man would not get an undue place, nor expect to regulate what is done with what he gives to the Lord.

Another point in giving, or rather in preparation to giving, is to set it aside "upon the first day of the week." 1 Cor. 16:2. This intends some regularity in setting aside from our earnings for the Lord. We believe that regularity of setting aside a portion of our income for the Lord is what is intended in this verse-not a law that it must be done on the first day of the week. Perhaps it should be done at whatever time we receive our income. People rightly have a horror of speaking of systematic giving, but yet if there is no definite plan or procedure in the home for setting aside of our earnings for the Lord, we are very apt to use them all for ourselves. A brother once told us that when he took that verse literally and began setting aside a regular portion of his earnings for the Lord, the Lord got much more than when he used to think that a certain portion of what he had in the bank was for the Lord. If there is the practical following out of this word in laying by in store at home (as the better translation of 1 Cor. 16:2 is), there would more often be something on hand to give when the occasion presented itself.

What we have to say here has a direct bearing on our previous chapter. In setting up homes on a standard of living proportionate with the income, the Lord's portion should not be neglected. No Christian is compelled to give, nor to give liberally, but it is a blessed privilege; "Them that honor Me I will honor." "Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase." Prov. 3:9. This verse seems to link giving to the Lord in the Old Testament with that in the New Testament. God rightly claims the firstfruits of our increase. It all came from Him; it was all His gift, even though we worked for it, for who gave us the strength and ability to work? Should we then delay to acknowledge His goodness by returning to Him the firstfruits? And when we really give to the Lord we shall not suffer thereby, for He is too rich to be any man's debtor. "There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty." Prov. 11:24.

If a new home is set up beyond the income of the breadwinner, then the Lord will not get His portion. And we would add that we should be righteous before we are liberal. If a Christian owes a sum of money, then he should pay that before he gives to the Lord. It is not fitting to take what belongs to another and give it to the Lord; but then this question arises, How does it happen that I owe another? Some Christians buy beyond their ability to pay, borrow on the future, and are always in debt. Plainly they are living beyond their means. These have nothing to give to the work of the Lord, nor to help the poor. Why? Because the Word of God has not been followed and their house is in disorder.

The question is sometimes asked, Should all we give be put into the collection on Lord's day? That surely is one way, and a good one, of giving to the Lord, either for needy saints or for the work of the Lord, but there are some cases of need that arise which may not come within the scope of an assembly's responsibility. If there is a regular laying aside at home of money from our income for the Lord, then as the Lord may lead us we would be able to render a helping hand to such as have need. The Lord may also lay it on our hearts to have special fellowship with a certain part of His work. We should be "rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate" (1 Tim. 6:18) as there may be occasion, and as the Lord may direct.

When the Apostle wrote to the Philippians, he said he did not mention their giving so that he might receive a gift, but he did desire fruit that would abound to their account. May the constrainings of love prompt the people of God to more diligence in this sacrifice that will please God and abound to their account.

Another sacrifice that Christians may present to God is mentioned in Rom. 12:1. Our bodies can be a living sacrifice, and we are exhorted to render them as such; and on what ground? the law? No, on the basis of "the mercies of God." The great grace that God has bestowed upon us is used by the Apostle as a basis—a compelling one—for an exhortation to hold our bodies as a living sacrifice; and that too is "acceptable unto God." This calls for self-denial, for self-abnegation. It may cause us to go out and serve the saints as to the Lord, or to do any one of a thousand things, instead of the self-indulgence of ease or pleasure. But here again, this is to be regulated according to our ability. The Lord does not expect more of us than we are physically able to give.

The Woman's Place in the Home: Chapter 18

The elder women among the Christians were to teach the younger ones "to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4, 5.

Titus had been instructed by the Apostle to teach the young men what was becoming to them, and the elder men what was becoming to them; and he was also instructed to teach the elder women, so that all together might show their Christianity in the everyday things of life; but when it came to teaching the younger women, Titus was to leave that for the older women. Such is the care for propriety which is evidenced in the Apostle's words, so that Titus would be guarded against the subtle danger of undue attention to the younger women. Oh, what havoc has been wrought among professing Christians by the seemingly good intentions of Christian men taking a special interest in the welfare of young women. Even the solicitations for the salvation of young women is fraught with gravest danger for servants of the Lord. Age does not give any man a license for unbecoming conduct toward the younger women.

There is then a place for the older (it is not a question of aged, but of older in contrast with the younger) sisters in helping to guide the younger sisters in what would honor God in the affairs of their own households. The Word of God could be brought into disrepute by the failure of Christian women to suitably fill their spheres in their own homes.

Plainly then the proper place for married women is in the home, for they are to be "keepers at home." Another translation renders this, "diligent in home work," and two others render it "domestic"; still another translates it "busy about the house." And yet today married women outnumber the unmarried in the positions they hold in the world. It is the common thing in the world for young married women to remain on their jobs which they held before they were married, or to go out and secure one shortly after marriage. This is not a wholesome thing for Christians, for it is not according to the Word. Christian wives have a definite responsibility to be diligent in their housework and to give their attention to the care of their husbands, and children when there are any. The same Apostle speaking to Timothy said that the married women were to "guide the house," and "give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." While the husband is the head, and as such is responsible to the Lord for the conduct of the household, yet there is a place where the wife is the guide—the workings of the house.

We have spoken of husbands who neglected their God-given responsibilities as head, but we have also known of some who would order the work in the homes for their wives, down to the smallest details. This is also out of place.

There are two distinct dangers in a wife's working at some employment and leaving her appointed sphere in the home. The first of these is that it throws the relative positions of husband and wife out of order; the former loses the sense of his duty as the provider and supplier of necessary things in the home, and the latter in some measure assumes the position of the husband in earning money and thereby takes over some of his place. It simply does not promote godly order in the home. The second is that the added earnings of the wife tend to lift the family's standard of living above that which the work of the husband alone could provide, and once the standard is raised it is very hard to bring it back down. If at a later time the wife is compelled to give up her employment, unhappiness and discontent result.

Sometimes there is another danger lurking for married women who go out to work; that is, a moral and social one. They may be thrown into contacts and associations with other men. These may be designing, and thus a Christian wife may be unnecessarily thrown into temptation. Christians have many times found themselves in places of great trial and danger where they scarcely knew which way to turn, when if they had been where the Lord would have them, they would have escaped the trying ordeal. Abraham, godly man that he was, was ill-prepared for the trial he met in Egypt concerning his wife, but why was he in Egypt? God called him to Canaan. It is well to desire, "lead us not into temptation," and wise not to deliberately court it.

There is a wholesome lesson for us in Gen. 18. The Lord appeared to Abraham in the plains of Mamre as "he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day." v. 1. Evidently the two angels that visited Sodom were also guests of Abraham that day. What a privileged man Abraham was! We read in the New Testament, "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

Heb. 13:2. These angels did not appear as angels, but as men; and so Abraham "entertained angels unawares." He also entertained the Lord of glory that day. But what would Abraham have done without the aid and cooperation of Sarah his wife? When "the men" asked him, "Where is Sarah thy wife?" he could reply, "Behold, in the tent." She was not away working in a neighboring village; she was "in the tent." And being in the tent, Sarah was there to prepare the feast for those heavenly guests.

Does it not interfere with showing hospitality to the saints (with entertaining strangers) when the wife is not the "keeper at home"? Does not many an opportunity for thus serving the Lord pass by the door of such? There is no better place to serve the Lord than in the one which is according to His Word. Who can measure the influence of a God-fearing wife who manages her home as unto the Lord, who recognizes her husband as her head, and who is ready for every good work which falls within her sphere? Great blessings have come in all ages from women who kept their appointed places and served therein for God. Jael did not go out of her tent to gain a victory that the army of Israel did not gain, nor did she use weapons that were not those which a woman of a tent would regularly handle (see Judg. 4:18-22).

Women occupy a blessed place in the New Testament. Martha served the Lord in her own home, as also Mary in another way. Other women ministered to His needs. John Mark's mother opened her house to the saints, and a large and continuous prayer meeting was held there when Peter was imprisoned (Acts 12). Priscilla labored with her husband and we read of the assembly being in their home both when they lived in Ephesus and in Rome (1 Cor. 16:16 —this epistle was written from Ephesus—Rom. 16:3-5). They also took Apollos home to them and instructed him in the way of God more perfectly (Acts 18:24-28); would that have been feasible without a home to which to take him, or without a Priscilla in it? Phebe is mentioned in Rom. 16 as having been a succorer of many, even of Paul himself. There are many other women named in Rom. 16 as receiving honorable mention from the Apostle. Some are said to have labored in the Lord, and one labored much in the Lord; how they did it we are not told, but this we do know, there is a place for women to glorify God and to serve the Lord without "unsurping authority over the man," or speaking in the assembly, both of which are forbidden.

“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:30.

A Heritage From the Lord: Chapter 19

God's plan of redemption was no afterthought with Him. It was not something which He devised to meet an emergency when sin entered the scene; it was a well-laid plan in His eternal counsels. The love of God demanded for its full satisfaction objects on which to bestow itself, and that those objects could and would value it as recipients of its boundless store. He knew that sin would spoil the Adamic earth, but long before the earth existed, His counsels of love purposed to pick up the fallen and degraded sons of Adam in love, and bring them to Himself in righteousness. We may say with the poet:

"That sinners might draw near to Him;

God planned this great, this gracious scheme,

And found the ransom too.”

"According as He hath chosen us in Him [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love: having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will." Eph. 1:4, 5. "According to the eternal purpose which He purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Eph. 3:11.

The poet G. W. Frazer beautifully expressed this truth in the following words:

"In deep, eternal counsel,

Before the world was made,

Before its deep foundations

On nothingness were laid;

God purposed us for blessing,

And chose us in His Son,

To Him to be conformed,

When here our course was run.”

The measure of the love of God has been seen in giving His beloved Son—"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him." 1 John 4:9. But there was more: God could only bring us to Himself in conformity to His own character; sin must be put away; His Son must die and suffer the forsaking of God in those three terrible hours of darkness when He the sinless One was made sin. The next verse gives the character of that love: "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." v. 10.

How else could we ever have known the love that God had toward us? or how could we have known how He could save us, and yet retain His absolute holiness? The sending of His Son tells us the former, and His propitiatory death shows us the latter.

"Unfathomable wonder!

O mystery divine!”

God the Father's heart has thus been able to express itself in love in bringing poor sinners to Himself, justified from all things, and made His children. And we the redeemed children are brought near to Himself in righteousness where we can drink of the fullness of that love, and in some measure show the response of love. "We love Him, because He first loved us.”

“As many as received Him [Christ], to them gave He the right to be children of God, to those that believe on His name; who have been born, not of blood, nor of flesh's will, nor of man's will, but of God." John 1:12, 13; J.N.D. Trans.

Well did the same Apostle exclaim, "See what love the Father has given to us, that we should be called the children of God." 1 John 3:1; J.N.D. Trans. Christian reader, let us ponder this truth. May we revel in the expression of the Father's heart to us, and as we thus meditate on His matchless love, may the Holy Spirit brighten in us the reciprocating affection that becomes us.

We who have been brought so near to God are also privileged to utter the same words that His beloved Son used when He was here on earth (Mark 14:36)—"Abba, Father" (Rom. 8:15; Gal. 4:6).

" ‘Abba,' Father—thus we call Thee.

(Hallowed name!) from day to day;

'Tis Thy children's right to know Thee,

None but children `Abba' say.

This high honor we inherit,

Thy free gift, through Jesus' blood;

God the Spirit, with our spirit,

Witnesseth we're sons of God.

“Abba's purpose gave us being

When in Christ, in that vast plan,

Abba chose the saints in Jesus

Long before the world began;

O what love the Father bore us!

O how precious in His sight!

When He gave the Church to Jesus!

Jesus, His whole soul's delight!

“Though our nature's fall in Adam

Seemed to shut us out from God,

Thus it was His counsel brought us

Nearer still, through Jesus' blood:

For in Him we found redemption,

Grace and glory in the Son;

Oh the height and depth of mercy!

`Christ and we, through grace are one.”

God, having brought us into this relationship where we have the life and nature capable of enjoying Him, also acts as a father toward us. He corrects and disciplines us as His children to the end that we might be partakers of His holiness (Heb. 12:7-11, 1 Peter 1:17). He also feels for us as a father: "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him." Psa. 103:13. And He comforts as a mother would: "As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you." Isa. 66:13.

These meditations bring us down to the relationship of parents and children. It is in this human relationship we learn in a feeble measure something of our Father's love to us, and of the satisfaction that we derive from our children's responsive love. What a moment it is when the young father and mother see for the first time their own precious child! What a thrilling experience it is when they for the first time hold in their arms that little bundle of life—their own flesh and blood! Surges of affection hitherto unrealized rise in their hearts.

Well did the psalmist say: "Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." Psa. 127:3-5.

It is reprehensible when a Christian husband and wife seek to escape or to avoid the responsibilities of parenthood. It would be better to remain unmarried than to seek to thwart a chief purpose of marriage. Such ways may be countenanced in the world, but the child of God is not to look to the world for wisdom or guidance.

God in His wisdom may not give children to some couples, but this must be taken as one of His dispensations of love and wisdom, and not be treated with rebellion. There may also be physical troubles that arise that would limit the size of the family, but this is not within our province to discuss. The Word of God says the women that marry are to "bear children, guide the house," etc. 1 Tim. 5:14.

We have known some parents who had long and hard struggles financially while bringing up a family, but God was sufficient for it all, and finally the day came when the straitened circumstances were relieved. Then they had the joy and comfort of children who had come to years. How much many a parent would have lacked in their old age in the way of comfort as well as provision if it had not been for the children God gave them in their youth.

We would especially emphasize the privilege and blessing of being parents. It has its problems, difficulties, and trials, but who can have the heart of a parent who is not one? Many and varied are the lessons which our Father teaches us in the bringing up of children. It is often one of the most instructive courses in the wilderness schooling of the child of God.

"Father, Thy sovereign love has sought

Captives to sin, gone far from Thee;

The work that Thine own Son hath wrought

Has brought us back in peace and free.

“And now as sons before Thy face,

With joyful steps the path we tread,

Which leads us on to that blest place

Prepared for us by Christ our Head.

“Thou gav'st us, in eternal love,

To Him to bring us home to Thee,

Suited to Thine own thought above,

As sons like Him, with Him to be

“In Thine own house. There love divine

Fills the bright courts with cloudless joy;

But 'tis the love that made us Thine,

Fills all that house without alloy.

“O boundless grace! what fills with joy

Unmingled, all that enter there,

God's nature, love without alloy,

Our hearts are given e'en now to share.”

Another New Relationship: Chapter 20

With the arrival of a precious baby in the home comes another new relationship. The young couple no longer occupy only the relationship of husband and wife to each other; they are now father and mother to the infant. A great change has come over the home, for they are now parents, possessing the emotions and feelings of parents. With the birth of their child was born an entirely new circle of affections. It is indeed a time of rejoicing, and makes us think of the rejoicing that is in the heart of God when poor sinners turn to Him and in living faith believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. The poet Watts said,

"In heaven triumphant joy is found,
When sons to God are born.”

The young father and mother now have a common object for their affections. There is nothing like the birth of their first-born to bind their hearts together. Certainly they will love each and all of their later children with the same father and mother-love, but the advent of the first-born is what brings them into that relationship, and opens up the hitherto dormant fountains of parental affection, and gives a sense of parental responsibility. When the mother holds in her arms that darling infant, her own flesh and blood, for the first time, she learns what the affections of a mother are; the father likewise enters into the feelings of a father when he fondly holds his own son or daughter.

These blessed affections are of God; it was He who put them in the human breast. To be devoid of them would be a sad lack indeed, and would show how much we had imbibed of the spirit of "the last days" when men are "without natural affection.”

It is normal for parents to be solicitous for their children and to desire to give them good things. The Lord took knowledge of this and used it as an illustration of our Father's desire to bless us with good things: "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" Matt. 7:11. May parents remember this when they seek good things for their children.

We should add one word of caution, however, for true demonstration of love to our children is not to be measured by the number or the greatness of the material things we give them. Parents who have little of this world's goods can still lavish affection on their children, and affection can be seen and felt where there may be no ability to give costly gifts. Nor is a child who has "everything that heart can wish" always the happy one; often the happiest and most contented children are those who possess little in the way of toys and other attractions. Parents should be wise in their loving desire to give; it should be tempered with restraint and geared to the basic income, taking due regard to all other matters temporal, and to what belongs to the Lord. Thoughtfulness and interest in their children's welfare and their doings, and little inexpensive things which manifest these elements, mean more to them than large sums expended on trinkets, or on toys that will be forgotten tomorrow. Then there are priceless gifts, things money cannot purchase, that can and should be given—the treasures of wisdom from the Word of God, wise counsel, and mental training. Some of these will come before us again in later chapters.

Fond parents should guard against making the child given them by God, an idol. There is danger of allowing the gift to come between them and the Giver. Sometimes God has taken. a beloved child to Himself when He saw the parents' hearts were being too much entwined with it.

The birth of the first-born to the young father and mother may also bring others into new relationships; these new parents may have fathers and mothers who for the first time became grandfathers and grandmothers. Being grandparents has its own joys and compensations, for they too have the opportunity of showing their affections to their "children's children." Grandparents may be a real help and influence for good, but perhaps there is a greater tendency with them than with the parents, to spoil the grandchildren with overindulgence and costly gifts. If takes grace and wisdom to be good grandparents.

New Responsibilities Again: Chapter 21

The precious baby which opened up the fountains of parental affection stored in the hearts of the young father and mother also brought to them new and grave responsibilities. As the mother of Moses was commissioned by Pharaoh's daughter to bring up Moses for her, so Christian parents are to bring up their children for the Lord. This is a full time occupation, and one that will require much dependence on the Lord.

In a wicked world, which is hourly growing worse, it is a serious matter to be entrusted with bringing up children. There will be so many adverse winds blowing that only by divine wisdom which is to be found in the Word of God, can a straight course be set. Ever since Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden and man had to make his way through a defiled world, the saints of God of all ages have needed a way marked out by God Himself. This is true of our whole pathway, but it is specially important in the bringing up of a family.

All too often the responsibilities of Christian parenthood are not realized early enough, and valuable formative years of childhood slip by insufficiently utilized. We need to make use of all the time that is given to us-"redeeming the time, because the days are evil." A young mother once went to an aged servant of the Lord and asked him when she and her husband should begin training their child; he replied by asking her how old the child was. When the mother gave the age, the servant of the Lord said, "You have waited just that much too long.”

It is hard to realize that the innocent and sweet infant has within it the root of an evil nature; it was born with a fallen nature capable of producing the sad fruits of departure from God. The proclivities are there, and as the child develops so will the ability to manifest them. In all this we shall be reminded that we have transmitted to our offspring a wicked heart and a perverse will which we received from our forbears. "As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man." Prov. 27:19.

“That which is born of the flesh is flesh." John 3:6. We passed on to our children the same character of flesh we have-not one particle better, nor one whit worse. We cannot give them a new life. They must receive that the same way we did; they too must be born again. The Spirit of God must work in their hearts producing a new life, with new desires. But shall we despair because this is true? Shall we fold our hands and say that we must wait for the Spirit of God to work in them? No! No!

It would be well if parents would bow the knee together and thank God for the gift of the beloved child, and then and there make earnest request that the child may early in life be brought to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. This should be a matter close to the hearts of all Christian parents, and one that should be constantly borne up to our God and Father. We should do it in faith, counting upon Him; it is a matter of first importance and should be the burden of our prayers from the day of the child's birth.

The world has many books on child training which purport to instruct parents in the proper way to bring up their children. But for the Christian parent, these are untrustworthy, if not dangerous. They may contain a certain amount of human wisdom, but the wisdom of this world is not to be compared with divine wisdom. It is far better to prayerfully seek wisdom from God who "giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not." If we lack wisdom (and surely we do) let us ask God for it. He will never fail a trusting heart. It is far better to be in a place where we feel our incapacity and our weakness than to turn to the world for counsel. "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly." Psa. 1:1.

We should ever remember that the Word of God contains the wisdom that comes from above; therein is found that word to fathers—"Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4. It also contains many object lessons. We see examples of men and women of faith who brought up children in the fear of God, and solemn warnings in the histories of those who failed in this responsibility.

Abraham had a well ordered household in his day. He not only walked by faith himself but he commanded "his children, and his household after him," and for this he received special commendation from the Lord. It was because of his faithfulness in his household responsibilities that he received communications of the mind of God—"And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do?... For I know him, that he will command his children," etc. Gen. 18:17-19. Thus he obtained the title "the friend of God.”

Amram and Jocabed were faithful in their day, and all three of their children—Moses, Aaron, and Miriam—were signally devoted to the Lord. In the day when Moses was born, the chosen people were in very difficult circumstances. They were slaves—ill-treated ones—in Egypt, and a government edict condemned the boy babies to death. Surely a book published by Egyptians on how to deal with children would never do for these faithful parents. They acted in faith before God, and shielded their precious charge as long as they could. This is truly a good example for parents. Not many days and years are theirs in which to shield their "heritage of the Lord" from the baneful influence of this wicked world. Every opportunity should be taken to protect their young children from evil influences.

We can no more give our children faith to walk the path of faith than we can give them a new life, but in bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord they will learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Moses was so thoroughly instructed in the ways and purposes of God toward Israel that when his mother had to turn him over to the royal benefactress to be taught in the schools of Egypt, he was able to walk by faith himself. He "was learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and in deeds" (Acts 7:22), but he cast in his lot with the despised people of God—a company of slaves. "He forsook Egypt," because by faith he saw the end.

The word to bring up the children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is to the fathers; they are responsible. Mothers, however, have a great influence over the children, for in their younger years the mother is more constantly with them. It is of utmost importance that father and mother be of one mind in the Lord in these matters. Nothing but evil can ensue when one parent pulls one way, while the other parent pulls the other way. Jocabed seems to have been especially prominent in the training of Moses. It is also of note that in the history of the kings of Judah and Israel we often read, "and his mother's name was —." It is as though the Spirit of God would call attention to the part his mother played in his early training. Sometimes the name or the nationality of the mother clearly indicates what showed up in the child.

Timothy was early instructed in the ways of the Lord. He knew the Holy Scriptures from a child, and the godliness of his mother and his grandmother are mentioned. Such instruction is like carefully preparing for a fire in a stove; the paper and the wood are painstakingly laid in order so that when the proper moment comes, all that will be needed is a light. A match is all that is necessary to produce a good fire after everything is in order in the stove; so with the mind properly stored with the inestimable treasure of the Word of God, all that is needed is the Spirit of God to use the Word to implant a new life. Then after the child is saved, all the stored riches of the Word stand him in good stead for the pathway before him.

Christian parents, take fresh courage; cast your little ones on the Lord in faith, shield them from evil influences while you may, fill their receptive minds with wisdom from the Word of God, and instruct them about the vanity of all here and its fleeting character, while you remind them of the heavenly glories that await all who put their trust in the Lord Jesus.

We repeat our warning against the many magazines and books which are for sale which purport to give wise counsel on the way to bring up children. For the most part these books are not only in error, but are definitely harmful. They stem from the infidel teachings of the day which say that a child does not have an evil nature, but that it is inherently good, and only its surroundings are bad. This is a plain lie which originated with the "father of lies.”

According to this "counsel of the ungodly," a child only needs a little instruction, and not correction or discipline. The modern way is to let the child develop naturally, and to call all his badness by another name. He is to follow his own bent without restraint. A euphemistic name has been coined for it —"self-expression"—but call it what they will, it is one of the chief causes of all the juvenile delinquency in the world. Through it Satan is laying the groundwork for the days of utter lawlessness which are to come.

Christian parents, do not be misled by the so-called psychological approach to child training. It is better by far to use the wisdom that comes from above. It is to be found in that inestimable treasure, the Word of God; and if problems present themselves to you that you do not know how to handle, you have a constant resource where perfect wisdom may be had —God Himself. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God." James 1:5.

Be sure of this, God knows best how children should be brought up. His Word says: "He that spareth his rod hat eth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Prov. 13:24. Would we wish to be without God's chastening? would we want to be left to our own bent? We ourselves are chastened at times and, why? "Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth." Heb. 12:6. Another verse says, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." Prov. 19:18.

The rod should not be used in anger, nor with brutality, but in the fear of God and true love for the child. Discipline, however, is a solemn responsibility which cannot be overlooked without damage to the child, and eventual dishonor to the Lord. Any harsh or unfeeling manner in discipline can discourage children; it is to be used with a heart yearning over them for their good.

We could learn some important lessons in disciplining children by considering how our all-wise and all-loving Father disciplines us. In Heb. 12:10 we read that our parents chastened us as seemed good to them (so it should read), but they may have lacked wisdom; not so with our Father, who chastens "for our profit, that we might be partakers of His holiness." Thus discipline should be carried out thoughtfully and prayerfully for the child's good, with a certain end in view—the glory of God. Rashness and harshness in discipline should be sedulously avoided. The child should sense that the parents dislike to punish it, and that it is done in love with a view to proper training.

We read of a wise father who when he was walking with his son noticed an old crooked tree. He stopped, drew his son's attention to the ill-formed tree, and suggested to his little son that they try to straighten that tree. The son was old enough to know that it could not be done and told his father it was too late to do it. This gave the father a wonderful opportunity to explain that it was also necessary to correct children when they are young, and that was the reason he often corrected him, for he did not want to have him grow up like that crooked old tree.

It is true that children should obey their parents without questioning, but it is not wise for parents to wield their power arbitrarily without reason or explanation. The child quickly senses whether our actions are weighed and thoughtful, or perhaps even unfair. A father may have occasion to forbid the child to do something, or to go somewhere; is it not more effective if the fear of God is brought into the matter? Would it not be better to explain from the Scriptures the basis for his refusal?

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonian believers, he said, "As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children." 1 Thess. 2:11. Paul had a father's heart toward the saints, and his statement emphasizes the part a father is to have in training his children. Paul's fatherly way with those believers was to exhort them, or to encourage them by bringing the Word of God to bear on their conduct; he also comforted them, and how could he do that without bringing in "the God of all comfort"? As an apostle he could charge them and testify to what their ways should be for God's glory. Read his word to them in the 4th chapter: "Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.”

If fathers would read the epistles of Paul they would learn how he as a father admonished and instructed the saints. May God grant to the young fathers today more of this spirit in the disciplining of their children.

Paul also acted the part of a loving mother toward those saints; he said to them, I have been "gentle in the midst of you, as a nurse would cherish her own children." 1 Thess. 2:7, J.N.D. Trans. Who can have a mother's heart but a mother? and yet Paul in his measure had such a heart for those dear Christians. Oh! the gentleness and graciousness with which he acted toward them! He might have acted quite arbitrarily as an apostle of Christ, and commanded what should be done, but read how he wrote to Philemon; he did not demand, but wrote in such a way that only a base and cold heart could have withstood his appeals.

What parents who have brought up children will not own that they have failed in the discharge of their God-given duty? And will not we all confess that our failure has been in a large measure due to lack of giving attention to these divine principles as found in the Holy Scriptures? Therefore, it is important that young fathers and mothers search the Word for that wisdom that comes from above, so that they may be able to guard their dear children from the dreadful influences abroad in the world. The world stream is getting more and more corrupt; the characteristic features of the antediluvian earth and of Sodom are fast coming back, as the Lord Himself said they would (see Luke 17:26-30).

May God stir up the hearts of His people to the realization of the seriousness of the times in which we live, and of the dangers that beset our children.

“Mark you broad and rapid stream!

Brilliant though its surface seem,

Mingling in its depths below

Poisonous currents surely flow.

Christian parent, pause to think

On that treacherous river's brink,

Ere you launch your tiny bark

On those waters deep and dark.

Yours the path of Jesus here,

Seek it for your children dear.

Though you cannot life impart,

Cannot bow the stubborn heart,

Do not help to weave a chain

You would gladly break again.

Shall not He who for you died,

Food and raiment still provide?

He who has your children given,

He can bless for earth and heaven.

Seek then first His holy will,

Seek His pleasure to fulfill,

Constant still in faith and prayer

That this blessing they may share.

And when by the Spirit's power

Comes the gladly welcomed hour,

When the lips you love so well,

Of a Savior's grace shall tell,

They will have no cause to say

That you turned their feet astray;

Rather, from their earliest youth,

Taught and nurtured in the truth,

May their light unhindered shine,

To the praise of grace divine.”

Setting an Example: Chapter 22

Children need not be very old before they become adept at discerning real sincerity or the lack of it in their elders. They may not be able to describe their reactions, but they are nonetheless influenced by what they observe. Therefore it is very important for parents to consider that their dear children are watching them and their ways—not that parents should act before them what they are not, but they should be very careful to have no relapses in the consistency of their walk, for little eyes and little ears will take in much. They will discern whether or not their parents' Christianity is the practical kind that governs the whole manner of life. Their future may more or less depend on what parents do, rather than on what they counsel. This is not said to nullify the importance of instructing them in "the right ways of the Lord," but to emphasize the importance of living practically before them what is taught to them.

Of what value would it be to instruct children that "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good" (Prov. 15:3), and that He sees them when they cheat their playmates, if they see their parents take advantage of their neighbor or the grocer? In like manner it would be ineffectual to speak to them of God's hearing any lies they tell if they observe their parents practicing deceit—not that the parents' failures are really any excuse before God for the children to sin.

The Apostle Paul was the instrument used by God to the salvation of many of the early Christians to whom he wrote. He said to the Corinthians, "In Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel" (1 Cor. 4:15); they were his children in the faith, and as his beloved children he admonished them (v. 14; J.N.D. Trans.), but he sent Timothy to them to bring to their remembrance his ways which were in Christ (v. 17). He was a fond parent, teaching his children by word of mouth, and showing them by example, how they should walk.

Timothy was also Paul's son in the faith, and he had a jealous care for Timothy's spiritual welfare. Paul wrote freely and intimately to him, and spoke affectionately of him to others. He gave Timothy words of "edification, exhortation, and comfort," but he was not content to stop there; he wrote to him: "Thou has fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, long-suffering, charity [love],

patience." 2 Tim. 3:10.

Paul's doctrine was important, and it is today; it is all the distinctive truth of Christianity; but Paul reminded his beloved son and co-worker of his manner of life—it was one of truthfulness, uprightness, and integrity. His purpose was equally impressive, for it was to get through this world to God's glory and to reach the Christ who had captivated his whole being. He had that day-by-day faith in God that counted on Him in any and every circumstance. We see many examples of his long-suffering in The Acts and in his epistles, and he loved the dear Corinthians, though the more he loved them, the less they loved him. As to patience, he could say, "Truly the signs of an apostle were wrought among you in all patience." 2 Cor. 12:12. Even his apostolic authority was never allowed to interfere with his exercise of patience, but rather it was demonstrated through patience.

May Christian parents consider their ways, and may they be formed more after the pattern of Paul's ways toward his children in the faith. Parents occupy a somewhat relative position in that they are to act as spiritual, as well as physical and moral, guides to their children.

There is no place where we have to be more careful not to indulge the flesh, nor to allow relapses in Christian conduct, than in the home. Someone has said, "If you want to know me, come and live with me." It is in the family circle where our real state is most apt to be seen. O that young parents may realize the great importance of living as Christians before their children! It is of great moment how the little things of life are done. And if we walk consciously before God all the time, it will make no difference whether we are at home or abroad, with our brethren in Christ or among the ungodly at work.

The Atmosphere of the Home: Chapter 23

The pervading influence in a home is often referred to as its atmosphere. When we enter a home we readily feel whether there is the warmth of cordiality and friendship or a cold formality there. In like manner the practical living and enjoyment of our Christianity will be felt by all who enter our homes.

In the realm of nature the Egyptians had darkness in their homes while the plague of darkness covered the land, but by divine intervention the children of Israel had "light in their dwellings." The same thing is true today in a moral and spiritual sense. We have the light of God, and where He Himself is enjoyed, those that "come in will see the light.”

When the Israelites obeyed the Word of God, there was a constant influence of the Word of God in their homes. They were instructed: "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou Best down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates." Deut. 6:6-9.

If one had come into a home where all this had been followed, he would have said, "Happy is that people, whose God is the Lord." The occupants of such a home would have been living and breathing a God-fearing, God-honoring atmosphere. And children brought up in such surroundings would have been blessed indeed.

Our homes often tell a sad story of an attempt to mix the things of God and the things of the world. Do we speak together of the Lord's things as those who have found "great spoil"? Those who find "great spoil" are like those who suddenly inherit great wealth, and come into possession of mansions and other property. Such persons would most likely speak together of their newly found wealth and treasure when they sat in their home, when they walked by the way, when they went to bed, and when they got up. The psalmist rejoiced in God's Word in like manner—"as one that findeth great spoil.”

How quickly a whiff of the world's amusements will cause the godly atmosphere to disappear! Could we possibly enjoy and speak together of the Lord and His things and at the same time listen to the world's entertainment coming into our homes by means of radio? If we had been enjoying the things of God, the first sounds of Cain's world would have the same effect as an icy blast from the north would have on a tropical plant. And the devil's latest masterpiece with which he seeks to remove the last vestige of a godly atmosphere from the Christian's home is television. The walls and doors of our homes should shut the world outside so that we can quietly enjoy our hidden treasure, but Satan has found a way to get through the best walls and doors, yes, even of bolted ones, and to bring in the world by means of television. Dear Christian reader, we plead, Do not let this invade your home. As Timothy was exhorted, “Keep thyself pure," may we paraphrase that and say, "Keep thy home pure." Television will defile it, without fail.

Another thing: let us keep the atmosphere of the home such that the children shall find it the place where they are always welcome and wanted. On the outside, they will encounter the world bidding for their hearts and hands and feet, but the warmth and love of Christian parents and a Christian home will greatly offset its baneful influences. Home should be so attractive to them that they will want to be there. It should be to them the place where they can come with all their problems and all their joys, and find a ready ear. Parents who are too busy to be companionable with their children defraud themselves of a great privilege, and may unwittingly drive the children to the outside for that which they should have found in the home—love and understanding.

In these days of rush and struggle, parents are apt to relegate their children to a secondary place. The business of making a living, or of having the home in perfect condition, may take precedence over loving and attentive interest in the children. Sometimes parents set up such standards in the style and furnishings of the home that children can scarcely live there. Not that children should not learn to be careful with things in the home, for it is in the home that they learn how to conduct themselves; but the home should be their home, where they belong, and where they love to be. Nothing will ever compensate for the loss of the child's confiding trust in the parents, or for the loss of the child's feeling "at home" in the home. Its sense of being loved and cared for, will result in a reciprocal affection, the value of which is beyond computation.

Growing children need interests and occupations that are healthful and instructive; they have energies that need to be directed in right ways. When these are centered in the home or shared with the family, they will tend to forge a link that will withstand the pulling power of the world. A mere negative approach to the great problems will not suffice; one cannot say, "You cannot do this and cannot do that," while giving no explanation that would instruct them in what is pleasing to the Lord, or offering anything to them that they could properly do. We would stress the need of creating a home atmosphere of warmth, interest, and love, on the one hand, and of the fear of God on the other. But for all this the parents must be much cast upon the Lord.

Taking the Children to the Meetings: Chapter 24

The question is sometimes asked, When should we begin to take our children to the meetings? For our part we answer, Begin at once. It is well when the children of Christian parents never know when they started to go to the meetings where the Lord Jesus is remembered in death, or where He is well spoken of.

Children should be brought up to expect to go to the meetings; they should see their parents faithful in attendance. If the parents carelessly neglect "the assembling... together," then they may expect the children to consider that it is of little importance. In the days of King Jehoshaphat, we read, "And all Judah stood before the Lord, with their little ones, their wives, and their children." 2 Chron. 20:13.

It is indeed a beautiful sight when the father, mother, growing children, and even the babe in arms are found making their way together to the gospel meeting, or to the place where prayer is "wont to be made," or to other meetings. We recognize that there are certain limitations in the health and strength of either the parents or the children at times, but we are speaking of a general rule and of what is desirable.

Some children learn very easily that they are to be quiet during the meetings, and others learn with great difficulty—sometimes with considerable trouble to the parents. We have known of some parents who went together to their knees and sought the Lord's special help each time before they left for the meeting. It takes wisdom and patience to persevere until the children learn how to behave at such times. It may also require patience and understanding on the part of others while the parents seek to train the children. Usually it is only for a short time for each child, so let parents take courage and bring the children to the meetings, seeking the Lord's help in dealing with the problem of keeping them quiet. If on occasion a child makes too much disturbance it should be taken out, but let not the parents give up.

Some mothers take time out each day to sing and read with their children while the little ones have to sit still and be quiet. Others see to it that there is a time in the family reading for the children to learn discipline in being quiet in a meeting. Of course, discretion must be used to not overdo the amount of time they must remain quiet. It is important that they should learn at home how to act in a meeting. In all this there is sometimes considerable discipline for the parents in following through with such a program.

Let no Christian parent be influenced by hearing some unsaved one say that he will not go to a meeting because he was forced to go as a child. More frequently than not this is only an excuse for his refusing to hear the gospel of the grace of God now, and a very flimsy excuse at that. Even if the parents of such a one were unwise in the manner in which they handled his reluctance (if it were such), it is no reason for Christian parents to neglect their God-given duty and privilege of taking their children to the meetings.

As the small children grow up they should be taught to listen to what is said in the meetings, and not be encouraged to carelessness by having other things to occupy them. It is to be deplored when children old enough to understand what is said, or at least a part of it, are given drawing books and other such object to distract them. Sometimes children who should be drinking in a solemn gospel message and taking it to heart are only present in body while their minds are on something else brought in with them.

Some excuse their occupying children with drawing books, pictures, and other things, by saying, "They cannot understand or take in what is said," but it is surprising what they can and do take in. We have seen and heard of cases where they laid hold of what was said in an astonishing manner, and we fear that parents who allow their older children to have objects foreign to the purpose of the meeting are doing them a positive damage.

We all need to remember that "God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of all them that are about Him." Psa. 89:7.

The Institution of Marriage and Related Subjects