The Raising of Children - Part 2: May 2021
Table of Contents
The Raising of Children - Part 2
Natural relationships form beautiful pictures of the wisdom of the ways of God. The parent has authority given of God (Eph. 6:1), but it is authority to be used in loving wisdom to do the child good all the days of his life. Love is here the motive spring of authority rightly used. Now it is the love of God that moved His heart to give us this wisdom from Himself to guide our feet through a world filled with evil and with the subtlety of an enemy who would use the fallen nature within us to lead in the paths of sin and folly.
The child of God does not need to know the subtle evil of the world to avoid it. He needs “a plain path” (Ps. 27:11). This the book of Proverbs supplies, by giving us the wisdom of God for our walk. He who knows all and has understanding of all has given us in this book the way of wisdom in all the various relationships of life, the temptations, and the vexations that are met along the pathway of life. How precious to have the wisdom of God to direct us!
Let those who attend school and college always remember that the things that belong to revelation are beyond reason. A man must be master of a subject to know it rightly, and he cannot be this of God. God and His wisdom are utterly beyond man.
H. E. Hayhoe
The Family
A Word to Fathers
Undoubtedly every Christian father feels the difficulty of bringing up a family for the Lord in days like these. Nor can we expect it to become easier as the Lord’s coming draws nearer, for the darkness is increasing. We need the light and wisdom of the Word of God and strength from above, because “greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4). We have no strength or wisdom of our own.
Wisdom From Proverbs and John’s Epistles
As to the teaching, correcting, warning, and even discipline of our children (when necessary), we get the wisdom of God for this in the book of Proverbs. It is very important that we should read this book carefully and prayerfully, for we cannot be wiser than God. However, I believe there are two sides to the training of our children. Proverbs gives us the one side, but I believe we find the other in John’s epistles. We are inclined to be one-sided, and most of us fail in this way. But the Word of God never makes us unbalanced; it is our own wills! The book of Proverbs brings before us more particularly the training of our children. The epistles of John are the pattern for our own conduct with them and the character we display before them. This is most important, for it is our own conduct that gives weight to what we say to them.
John’s first epistle begins with knowing the Father. Yes, God our Father wants us to know Him, and the Lord Jesus could say, “He that hath seen Me hath seen the Father” (John 14:9). What an example! Let us apply it to ourselves as fathers. Do our children really know us? A wise father will see to it, from the very beginning of his children’s lives, that they know him. If we fail in this intimacy with our children, we are off to a wrong start. I believe there are many children who do not really know their fathers as they should.
Fellowship
The next thing is that God our Father desires to have fellowship with us as His children. “Truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ” (1 John 1:3). He wants to share His thoughts with us, and we ought to share our thoughts with our children. They must learn first the knowledge of Christ as Savior, but as they grow older, we ought to share with them all our interests in life. If we do not, then they will seek their interests and happiness elsewhere, outside of the home.
Joy
Going on, we read, “These things write we unto you, that your joy may be full” (1 John 1:4). God our Father wants our joy to be full, and our children ought to know that we seek their true joy and happiness in life. Even our discipline should have this end in view. Anything that would be for their ultimate good and add to their true happiness we should try to give them, providing it would not be inconsistent with God’s character. Sometimes, as fathers, we may take everything away from our children and give nothing in return. Let us see to it, if we must take something from them for God’s glory, that we assure them it is for their own good and blessing. Let us try to make it up to them in other ways. Home ought to be a happy place to them — the happiest spot of their childhood.
What instruction this is for us as fathers—first, that our children should know us; second, that they should enter into our thoughts; and third, that they should know we seek their fullest joy and happiness. I believe these three things are of all importance if we would make a right start with our families. Love is the mainspring, and nothing will be right if it is not. All obedience for the Christian is founded upon love. The Lord Jesus said, “If ye love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). And all true obedience in the Christian home, on the part of the children, should be founded upon love too.
Light
We now come to God our Father’s character as light. “God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth” (1 John 1:5-6). God our Father wants us to know His character of holiness, for we cannot have fellowship with Him in any other way. This is most important with our own children too. After they have learned the first three things we have mentioned (and they can learn them very young), then they must learn that there is a certain character suited to our homes, as Christian homes. Sin and happiness cannot go on together in our lives, nor can they go on together in our homes. The godly character of our homes should be carefully maintained. Many Christian parents have reaped in sorrow, having allowed things that are contrary to the Word of God in their homes. God our Father never lowers the standard for His family. May He help us to guard this in our homes!
Reality
This brings us to the next point: God wants reality. He says that pretending to be what one is not is really lying, and that those who walk in darkness cannot have fellowship with Him. Some parents will say that if we make the standard of godliness too high, then our children will do the forbidden things secretly. If our children really know our hearts, they will want our fellowship above everything else. They will feel that they just cannot pretend to be what they are not, in our presence. And so here, although the light of God our Father’s presence manifests sin, yet we can be in His presence, hiding nothing. Why? Because His perfect love has found a way: “The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). What confidence this gives!
Forgiveness
After this, provision is made for our failure as children of God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). And so in our homes, where light and love have their right place, all is brought out and then dealt with in light and love. When our children acknowledge that they have done wrong, then we are to forgive them, as God our Father forgives us. Forgiveness is in our hearts all the time, but governmentally we cannot show it until they confess their sin.
This, then, is the second group of three important things in connection with the family of God which one would like to apply as a pattern for the Christian home. We have noticed the first three previously. They are: knowing the Father, having fellowship with the Father, and knowing that God our Father seeks our fullest joy. The second group of three is: knowing the holy character of God our Father, knowing that we must be real and hide nothing, and then knowing that full provision has been made for our failure, forgiveness being shown when we acknowledge it. This makes six points, and the Lord Jesus Christ is the center and completion of it all. Just as with the seven-branched candlestick in the tabernacle (Ex. 25:32), there was one in the center and three branches on either side. So it is here; Christ is the center. He must have the preeminence. He is the “all in all” of Christianity, and unless He is the center of all our home training, it will break down, sooner or later.
“Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chron. 15:7).
Mothers
Perhaps the mothers will bear with a few words also at this time. You are interested, as much as or more than your husband, in God’s pattern for home life, for the home is your particular sphere. You are the guide in it (1 Tim. 5:14). And how important is the plan God has given us, not for a house of material things, but for a home characterized by light and love! It is the character of the home that makes it what it really is.
And you, dear Christian mother, can be your husband’s true helpmeet in building this home of light and love, or you can pluck it down. You can encourage and uphold him in his love and correction of the children, or you can oppose and hinder him. This is very important. You wield a tremendous influence in the home, in many ways far greater than your husband’s. You are with the children more than he is, and they look to you. You can do more than he to make or break the home.
Your Important Place
“Cease ... to hear the instruction that causeth thee to err from the words of knowledge” (Prov. 19:27). Do not listen to the advice of the world, nor even to that of some Christians who may reject “the counsel of God against themselves” (Luke 7:30) because it condemns them. It is your wisdom to seek grace to fulfill the place of a helpmeet (not of the head) which God has given you in the home. It is a wonderful place. Even if your husband should fail in fulfilling his place as head, ask the Lord for grace to fulfill yours. His failure does not change your place or responsibility, nor does it change his. He needs your help and prayers. Alas, we all fail as husbands, but fault finding and blaming one another will not straighten matters out, nor help to build up the home, but it will surely help to “pluck it down.” How much we need the grace and strength which comes from above, especially when difficulties arise, but let us not depart from the divine pattern. There may be some who read these lines who have unbelieving husbands, and surely the Lord will give you grace in these things, if you look to Him, that, as Peter says, “if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).
Prove the Blessing
Ponder these things well, dear Christian mother, and may God bless you and your dear children. By acting upon God’s Word, you can prove the blessedness of walking in His ways, and your husband and children will say of you what is said of the wife and mother described in Proverbs 31:28-29: “Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”
May this be said of you, not only while the children are small, but above all as they grow older, for the more they love the Lord, the more they will love you! Your work will then be rewarded even here, and the latter years of life will be happy ones for you and your husband, should the Lord leave us here a little longer.
“Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chron. 15:7).
G. H. Hayhoe (adapted)
The Word of God
In other articles in this issue of “The Christian,” we have already commented on the importance of God’s wisdom, as found in His Word, the Bible. We must realize that God’s wisdom is not merely an improvement on, or an addition to, man’s wisdom; rather, it is the exact opposite of man’s wisdom. When we consider any moral or spiritual subject, the Word of God must be our source of wisdom and our guide. The holy Scriptures always exalt Christ, and ultimately, Christ is the wisdom of God for the believer’s pathway.
As parents, we may have seen the importance of the Word of God in our own lives and the need for its guidance in raising our children. But we would all wish that our children would feel the same reverence, need and desire for the Scriptures. How is this to be accomplished?
The Word Woven in Our Lives
First of all, it is important that our children see the principles and instruction from the Bible woven into the very fabric of our lives, whether it is in the home, in our work life, in education, or in our assembly life. They must see clearly that reading the Word of God is not merely religious ritual, but rather a living Word to us, meant to be, in reality, a part of every aspect of our lives.
Godly Christian parents will want to have a time of private reading of the Word of God and prayer. This is important, for we must all ultimately feed on Christ individually before we do so with others. This is true even in the family. When life is busy, this may be difficult, but as we all know, it is most necessary to read the Word of God daily and to pray. Mary of Bethany sat at the Lord’s feet and heard His Word, and when her sister Martha complained to the Lord that Mary had left her to serve alone, His response was, “One thing is needful” (Luke 10:42). It is the same with us today; the “cares of this life” must never deprive us of individual time over God’s Word and in prayer.
Reading the Word
Second, it is important that we read the Word of God with our children. Since we normally eat more than once a day, it is good if we have the Scriptures before us morning and evening as well. A father may often have to go to work early in the morning, and it may not always be practical for him to read with his children under these circumstances. In that case the mother should take over. I can well remember my own mother reading the Bible to us at the breakfast table and emphasizing its importance. Then, after supper, my father would take over and read the Word of God. As I got older, I saw another side of my father that I did not know about before. He worked for a prosperous farmer, and in my teenage years, in the summer, I was also hired to work with him. We took only a half hour for lunch, but my father ate quickly, in order to have time to read, not only his Bible, but also from a book of ministry. When I was with him, he read aloud so that I would get the benefit of it. This made a deep impression on me as a young man and motivated me to do the same thing.
Also, when we read the Scriptures to our children, several things are very important. First of all, it must be clear to them that it is for our enjoyment, and not merely a duty to be performed. It should be a relaxing time, when the family can enjoy the Word of God together, just as they enjoy fellowship over a meal.
Read All of It
Second, an older brother, long now with the Lord, used to tell us, “Do not hesitate to read with your children any part of the Word of God. It warns us and lays bare the wickedness of man’s natural heart, but never does it stir up the flesh in us or provoke evil thoughts in our minds.” This is good advice, for parents may sometimes be tempted to skip over certain passages of God’s Word that bring out the sordid details of sin and speak of things that we may consider unnecessary for our young children to hear. Let us remember that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:16). It is far better for children to hear these things in the context of God’s Word (within the limits of what their age group can understand) than to have them learn these things from the world when they go to school or, later, in the workplace.
Finally, and most essential, the Word of God should be brought down to their level and explained to them in a way that they can understand. Of course, there are parts of the Bible that young children may not grasp immediately, but when we “fill the waterpots with water” (John 2:7), we can count on the Lord to turn it into wine later.
The Death of a Son
I would suggest that we see an illustration of the importance of this, in type, in the life of Elisha. The Shunamite woman of 2 Kings 4 had been very good to Elisha, even to the point of building him a special room in her home, in which he stayed whenever he passed that way. As a result, the Lord had given her a son. But later, while the son was out on the farm with his father, he suddenly took sick and died later that day. His mother immediately laid him on the bed of Elisha, in his room, and then rode to Mt. Carmel to meet with him.
Elisha instructed his servant Gehazi to take his (Elisha’s) staff and to lay it on the face of the child. Gehazi did as he was asked, but he had to return and report that “there was neither voice, nor hearing” (2 Kings 4:31). The staff was good and it belonged to Elisha, but it was rigid and unbending; it did not bring life to the child. As an application, the staff may represent to us the Word of God brought before a child, but in a way that is not adapted to his age and understanding. Likewise, when we consider his subsequent behavior in the next chapter, it is doubtful whether Gehazi had the spiritual insight and godly care that was necessary in this situation.
The Way of Imparting Life
When Elisha comes to the child and finds him dead, he does something different. First of all, he “prayed unto the Lord.” Then he “lay upon the child, and put his mouth upon his mouth, and his eyes upon his eyes, and his hands upon his hands: and he stretched himself upon the child: and the flesh of the child waxed warm” (2 Kings 4:33-34). He adapted himself to the size of the child, bringing before us the need for adults to come down to a child’s level, mentally and spiritually. He did not use a staff, but rather his own body. In a similar way, Paul could tell the Corinthians, “Ye are ... Christ’s epistle ... written ... not on stone tables, but on fleshy tables of the heart” (2 Cor. 3:2-3 JnD). As a result, life was returning, but it was a process. So it is often with the salvation of young children. Again, it is recorded that Elisha “returned, and walked in the house to and fro; and went up, and stretched himself upon him” (2 Kings 4:35). This interval speaks of further exercise before the Lord, and again Elisha feels led to come down to the child’s level and bend over him (JND trans.). This time there is very distinctive evidence of life, for “the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes” (vs. 35).
Early Signs of Life
It is interesting and instructive to notice that the real sign of life was the child’s sneezing seven times. It might seem like an unusual evidence of life, but nevertheless, it is clear and definite. Dead bodies do not sneeze! So it is often when children first come to the Lord. At first there may not be a clear oral confession of Christ as Savior; rather, they may say or do something, perhaps in a slightly unusual way, but what they say or do tells us clearly that they now have new life in Christ. In our story, Elisha delivers the child to his mother, as it was her responsibility to continue her work of bringing him up for the Lord.
Again, I would suggest that this incident shows us that real exercise is needed in bringing the Word of God before our children, and a real effort must be made to bring the Scriptures down to their level, explaining them in a way that will help them to understand. However, in all these things, we must remember that while we have our responsibility to bring the Word of God before our children in the right way, ultimately it is not our faithfulness that brings blessing to them, but rather the sovereign grace of God. If there is any blessing in our children’s lives, we cannot take credit for it. It is the grace of God that both saves and keeps, and to Him must be all the praise.
W. J. Prost
A Suitable Occupation
As parents, it is natural that we should wish Christian fellowship for our children, and it is a happy thing when there are other children from Christian homes with whom this can take place. It is nice when there are other children in our local assembly with whom our children can spend time together, enjoying not only the things of the Lord, but also natural pursuits. This is a wonderful gift from God! However, in this day of small things, with assemblies that are sometimes down to “two or three gathered together in [His] name,” this kind of fellowship is not always there. Sad to say, it has become all too common for parents to turn their backs on that which they know is according to the Word of God, in order to seek for a broader path that will include greater fellowship with other children of Christian backgrounds.
Hannah’s Dedication
If we look into the Word of God, we see an example in the Old Testament that should encourage us not to take this road. When Hannah first prayed for a child, she vowed that if the Lord should give her a son, “I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life” (1 Sam. 1:11). In due time the Lord graciously granted her request, and when Samuel was weaned, Hannah made good on her vow. It is recorded when “the child was young,” “she ... brought him unto the house of the Lord in Shiloh” (1 Sam. 1:24). In the next verse (vs. 25), it is recorded that “they ... brought the child to Eli.” As we know, from that point on, Samuel lived in the house of God in Shiloh, with Eli as his guardian and instructor, and he saw his mother only once a year, when she brought him “a little coat” (1 Sam. 2:19).
Facing Immorality
From the human side, Shiloh might have seemed to be about the worst place into which to introduce a young child. The sacrilegious and immoral behavior of Eli’s sons was well-known and was of such a notorious nature that “men abhorred the offering of the Lord” (1 Sam. 2:17). More than this, Eli, although the senior priest of the Lord, did not restrain the awful behavior of his sons. He reproved them, but did nothing more. Could Hannah entrust her son, at his tender age, to men like this? As well, under these circumstances Samuel would also be deprived of the company of other children, including his own siblings. We may well imagine that Hannah prayed very earnestly for her son and for those under whom he was living.
But Hannah’s eye was not on the priests who officiated at the house of God; rather, her eye was on the Lord who inhabited that tabernacle. She had trusted Him to give her a son, and now she could trust Him to look after him, even in a place where the priests were not only unfaithful, but sinful. And so it came to pass, for Samuel grew up to be “God’s emergency man,” standing for the Lord between both a failed priesthood and later a failed king (Saul), and God’s rightful king (David).
Fellowship With Others
So it can be for us today. If we look for failure in our brethren, we will find it in every one of them. If the fellowship of other children, to encourage our own children, governs our hearts, we will, no doubt, be tempted to go where more of this can be obtained, even if it means compromising the truth of God. But if our eye is rather on the Lord in the midst, we will trust Him to look after our children under these circumstances. At the same time, we will make every effort to seek the fellowship of other children from time to time, when it can be obtained, but only within the framework of that which honors the Lord and His Word.
J. Prost (adapted from an open meeting, Toronto conference, 1967)
There Is Nothing for Our Children
Education and Man’s Nature
Education does not change the moral nature of man. “The flesh profiteth nothing” (John 6:63). Christ is the wisdom of God (1 Cor. 1:24, 30). To faith, His death is the end of the first man entirely, and His life is the pattern of the new man for his walk in this world to God’s glory. May we read God’s precious revelation (the Bible), believe it, meditate upon it, and seek His grace to walk in the light and wisdom of it.
God’s Wisdom and Man’s Wisdom
God’s wisdom is perfect, because of His perfect knowledge of all things. “O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are His judgments, and His ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been His counsellor?” (Rom. 11:33,34). Man can never discover the things that belong to revelation. This is just the theme in the book of Ecclesiastes. It shows us the extent of man’s wisdom “under the sun” apart from God’s revelation. Creation and resurrection are two things that belong to revelation. The wisdom of man could never discover either the one or the other, as we see from Acts 17:23-32.
Now the wisdom of God is not an extension of man’s wisdom, nor is it an improvement upon it. It is always the very opposite of man’s wisdom. Unless he accepts the revelation of truth found in the Word of God, man makes the world in which he lives the horizon of all his thoughts, his efforts, and his actions. His whole life is governed by these worldly motives. Now the voice of wisdom, as found in the Word, would teach us to sit at the feet of Jesus, as Mary did, and listen to the word of His mouth, that we might learn God’s wisdom.
H. E. Hayhoe
When Laws Are Contrary to Scripture
One of the issues with which Christians today are faced with increasing frequency is how to react where governments pass laws that are contrary to the principles of the Word of God. These laws may impact many areas of our lives, and I am not referring to countries where open persecution is common and where Christians are routinely treated badly. Rather, I am referring to so-called “free” countries, where freedom of religion allegedly exists and where Christians are not openly persecuted.
For example, in Canada, in the province of Ontario, doctors must, by law, refer patients for abortion, contraception, transgender surgery, or assisted suicide, even if the doctor conscientiously objects to these procedures. The reality that the referral makes the doctor an “accessory before the fact” is not considered a viable objection.
Laws That Conflict
In the context of raising children, other laws have been enacted in some jurisdictions that make it difficult for Christian parents to obey the Word of God. In Canada a law has been proposed (although not yet passed by Parliament) that would make it illegal for parents to send a child for counseling, if the child expressed a gender preference that was different from his/her biological sex. (Illegal counseling would be that which was intended to steer children toward their biological sex, rather than allowing them to choose their gender.)
More widespread are laws forbidding parents to spank their children. Sweden was the first country to ban spanking back in 1979, and to date there are more than 50 countries in the world that have followed suit. The list includes a number of Western European countries such as the Netherlands, France, Portugal and Germany, as well as some Eastern European, African, and South American countries. Spanking is also illegal in New Zealand.
Objectionable Curricula
In still other situations, Christian parents are sometimes upset at the content of the curricula in public schools, especially in the areas of homosexuality and sex education. In some nations home schooling is permitted, which gets around the difficulty, but in other nations this is illegal. How are Christian parents to react in such situations? If they disobey the law, they may be sent to jail, but worse still, they may be declared unfit parents and have their children forcibly taken away from them.
There is no easy answer to these dilemmas, and we must first of all be much before the Lord about them. Scripture is clear that “we ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29), but we must be careful in interpreting what “obeying God” means in every situation. Only the Lord can give wisdom as to how we should react. Let us consider the question of spanking.
Early Discipline
First of all, an old brother, long since with the Lord, used to say, “If discipline is begun early in a child’s life, most of the spankings will take place before the child can even remember them specifically.” This is very true. If the children’s wills are molded by the age of two or three, they will not likely need frequent spankings after that.
Second, spankings should be a last resort in punishment. Scripture says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom” (Prov. 29:15), and once the child’s will is shaped properly at a young age, reproof may be all that is needed most of the time. I have known homes where parents felt that when some wrong was done, a spanking was always necessary, on the principle that “every transgression” must receive “a just recompense of reward” (Heb. 2:2), even though the child had obviously learned the lesson through reproof. Such an attitude in raising children has no basis in the Word of God.
Intolerable Situations
Third, if the situation becomes intolerable, some parents have even considered moving to another jurisdiction where the laws were different. Of course, this is big step, but surely preferable to losing one’s children by having them taken away by the authorities. In years gone by, many Christians fled countries where religious persecution was present, and it is well-known that the Pilgrim Fathers who came to America were mainly seeking freedom of worship. The Lord may make this option possible for us in some cases.
Finally, some parents may decide to obey the law and not spank their children. Let us not be critical of them, for while the Word of God does teach the use of corporal punishment, it is not as important as consistency. There are other ways to discipline children, and consistency in shaping their behavior is more important than the kind of discipline.
Other Options
With regard to curricula in public schools, again, much prayer is needed. It is distressing to Christian parents to know that their children may be subjected at a young age to teaching in the area of sex education that is contrary to the Word of God and that they may be exposed to those who hold and teach same-sex marriage or the open practice of homosexuality. It is especially difficult when these subjects are taught to children at a tender age, when their minds are very impressionable.
In some cases, it may be possible for children to be excused from taking such classes, but this is not always possible. In other cases, it may be possible to send the children to a private school, but not all parents can afford this. Sometimes the only solution is for the parents to encourage children to talk about what they have heard at school and then to open the Word of God on the subject. With much prayer and in dependence on the Lord, we can trust Him to use His Word in their hearts and to counter that which is contrary to it. No doubt we have all heard of children from Christian homes who had to resist the atheistic teaching of communist regimes, and did so faithfully. In such cases parents had no resource other than the Lord and His Word.
Again, it is impossible to give a remedy for every circumstance, for every situation is unique. But the Lord, who knows all about our difficulties in these last days, can give wisdom from above, if we ask Him. We are indeed in the “perilous times” mentioned in 2 Timothy 3, and we can expect things only to get worse, as time goes on. However, if there is a real heartfelt desire to please the Lord, let us remember that “He shall be the stability of thy times” (Isa. 33:6 JND) and that He will enable us to “humble ourselves before our God, to seek of Him a right way for us, and for our little ones” (Ezra 8:21 JnD).
W. J. Prost
Ways of Pleasantness, Paths of Peace
In the heaven where God dwells there has always been divine fullness: perfect purity, divine love and eternal happiness. In that home of light and love, God delighted in the sons of men from eternity, even “before the mountains were settled ... while as yet He had not made the earth” or appointed its foundations. In accordance with His eternal purpose, some among the children of men will not only enter and enjoy the bliss of this divine habitation, but also “joy in God” Himself (Rom. 5:11). Because of Calvary, this can and will be so.
God’s Favored Creation
Man is God’s favored and special creation. Though angels excel in strength and inhabit spiritual realms, only man is said to be made after His likeness, fitted with a capacity to interact with God in a way the rest of creation cannot, with intelligence, with a curiosity to understand abstract things, and with the ability to experience common thoughts with Himself.
The six days of creation are marked out with the momentous words, “And God said,” wonderful precursor to that future day, when the Word Himself would become flesh and dwell among us, expressing in His own Person all the fullness of the Godhead. Unique to God’s creation of man, in contrast to other created things, was His communication to man (“And God said unto them ... ”), communicating to man what he should be and what he should do.
A New Creation
Alas, as we know, how quickly man’s goodness departed in the fall, “as a morning cloud, and as the early dew,” it went away (Hos. 6:4). Yet the Potter had formed the vessel, as was His free right to do, in order that in His counsel the first man should be displaced on the potter’s wheel by the second man, the Lord from heaven, in fullness of time. This is made good by resurrection from among the dead; there is a risen, glorified Man in heaven today, Himself the beginning of a new creation and He alone there, for the present, the firstfruits of a coming harvest.
Male and Female Genders
Another unique aspect of God’s creation of man is the declaration that there would be male and female, each different from the other and complementary to the other so that they would be, in a certain sense, one. “Male and female created He them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created” (Gen. 5:2). Though we know, from Genesis 6:19 and from observation, that animals were also created with these two complementary genders, it is only upon the announcement of the creation of man that this distinction is immediately brought out: once after the statement of man’s being made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27) and then again after the statement of man’s being made in the likeness of God (Gen. 5:1). It would seem from this that God has chosen to display the natural glories of His created beings, and mankind in particular, with this polarity of man and woman. As the Apostle Paul reminded the Corinthians, a man is “the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man” (1 Cor. 11:7). God could have created mankind with a single gender and perpetuated the race of men in accordance with such a system; He could have created mankind with multiple genders. He did neither; He created us male and female. It is man’s glory to acknowledge and receive light from One higher than himself and to order his thoughts and ways accordingly. This is excellence in man. The life of the believer in Christ “adorn[s] the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:10), as he happily learns to behave himself in the house of God and walk in an upright manner in this world, in accordance with the Word of God (“And God said”).
Gender Confusion
God is not the author of confusion; it is His delight to see moral order and the happiness it affords man, as the Apostle Paul could say to the Colossians, “joying and beholding your order, and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ” (Col. 2:5). Because of the importance of such a display, there is Satanic opposition even to the natural order of man and woman. The church itself has been subjected to “seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils” (1 Tim. 4:1), which seek to introduce that which dishonors God and creates confusion and unhappiness in man. The Western world, once steeped in the light and blessing of the revelation of God in Christ, seems to be at the forefront now of (so-called) gender confusion and moral depravity, darkening men’s minds to natural wholesomeness and spiritual light. It is in such a world that we now live and raise our children, and therefore it is more important than ever that we set before them the path of faith and the wisdom of assenting to all things as they are presented in the Word of God. The outward, observable contrast between the path of the children of the light and those of darkness is becoming greater in the Western world, with evil called good and good evil, and darkness for light, and light for darkness (Isa. 5:20). “Let God be true, and every man a liar” (Rom. 3:4).
Gender Choice
It is in vogue today to think one may just choose to change one’s gender as one might change one’s residence or occupation, as if God got it wrong in one’s case. To hold out choice to the young when there is no choice, with institutional support of such folly now protected by government edict, perpetuates confusion with devastating consequences on the young that are so led. Fallen men continue to profess themselves to be wise, and thereby show that they have become fools (Rom. 1:22) with hearts darkened. “It is a shame even to speak of those things done of them in secret” (Eph. 5:12), only now the massive shift in public opinion that sways the actions of the men of this world has brought these things out from secrecy into the light of day.
Moral Degradation
It has been stated that the moral ways of God do not change with dispensations, as from the days under law to the present day of grace. As a young person reading through the books of Moses, one could ask oneself, “Who would ever do such a thing that is here prohibited?” Yet sadly, as we go on in life, we see or hear that such things are done. When man chooses to give up God, so that God is not in all his thoughts, God in His governmental ways gives man up to moral degradation. It is helpful in our minds to call things what God calls them, rather than the glib designations used today. Those who engage in intimate relations with others of the same gender are called “abusers of themselves with mankind” in the English Bible, a genteel translation of Greek words that are quite direct. This morally condemned behavior is placed in a list along with numerous other unrighteous activities that are contrary to the kingdom of God and to sound doctrine (1 Cor. 6:9; 1 Tim. 1:10). This matter is not subtle, nor a mere “shade of gray”; it is a moral baseline that warrants reinforcement from the Word of God in our homes and in the assembly. There is often the objection that some are “wired this way” or predisposed to such behavior. The flesh in us may present itself differently in one than in another, but “that which is born of the flesh is flesh,” and it is our duty and discipline to judge ourselves that we “should not be condemned with the world.” God is not the author of any moral confusion, and we cannot say that God tempts any man with evil (James 1:13). It is “from within, out of the heart of men” that these things proceed (Mark 7:21), but “He giveth more grace,” and the wonderful liberty of the gospel is that grace empowers the believer to walk in holiness, no longer to be held under the dominion of sin (Rom. 6:14). We sympathize with each other, as each of us deals with the warfare of the flesh against the Spirit in one way or another (Gal. 5:17).
Cultural Distinction
Another challenge felt by believers in the Western world today is the deliberate attempt in the surrounding culture to obliterate almost every semblance of distinction between men and women. Indeed, to refer in speech to the uniqueness of femininity and masculinity is often to incur scorn and censure. We read in Deuteronomy 22:5 that “a woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment.” Aside from the immediate directive to the Israelite, we may apply this passage figuratively to character and as an exhortation to encourage female character in our girls and young women and male character in our boys and young men. Paul had the same thought in mind when he exhorted the Corinthians to “quit you like men, be strong” (1 Cor. 16:13).
God’s Word Is Sure
It is in the face of this cultural headwind that we and our children must resort constantly to the clarity and refreshment of the Word of God. The God who has given us “richly all things to enjoy” (1 Tim. 6:17) has graciously ordered man’s life for his blessing, for He is good and desires even in a natural sense to fill our hearts “with food and gladness” (Acts 14:17). The Western culture, which once largely aligned with the natural order and propriety shown in the Word of God, increasingly disdains such order. Nevertheless, the Word of God is sure, forever settled in heaven, and transcends and will outlast all the cultural norms of men.
The destiny of redeemed men and women is to be “as the angels of God in heaven,” neither marrying nor given in marriage. But God has ennobled the relationship of man and woman as a figure for the highest and sweetest relationship of all, that of Christ with the church as His heavenly bride. Meanwhile, in this world as children of light and children of the day, it is clearly our privilege to honor the Lord by properly occupying the places assigned us as men or as women.
It is characteristic of those possessing life in Christ to have an implicit confidence in God’s wisdom and goodness. “Wisdom is justified of all her children” (Luke 7:35), and “her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace” (Prov. 3:17). Those who have this sense that God is for them and that the path of wisdom in accordance with the light of His Word is the best and the happy path will walk by faith in His precepts.
B. Conrad
Christ the Wisdom of God for the Believer's Pathway
A great danger of the present-day educational system is its policy of teaching our children how to be great in the world. In every respect this is opposed to the heavenly calling and character of the Christian. Children are taught to climb and excel socially, economically and in every field of endeavor. What we as Christians should aim at is to get through the world with the least possible defilement, looking off unto Jesus as the One who ran the whole race of faith and is “set down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:2). We must have a certain amount of the world’s education, and some occupations may require specialized training beyond the legal demand, but for the Christian, his education, in whatever amount necessary, should be made subservient to his living to glorify God while in transit through a wicked world. It should never be used as a steppingstone to becoming great in this world where our Lord was cast out. It is little short of treason to Him to seek to be great in the house of His enemies. It is salutary to remember that the higher we get in this world, the closer we get to its head, the god and prince of it. It is easier to go on with God in a modest, quiet and unassuming way than when in a place of importance in this world. When the Lord was cast out of the world, His leaving it did not make a ripple in its course. May Christians walk as He did.
Counsel and Help
When we consider the need of guarding our children against worldly philosophy which would teach them to be great in the world that hates our Lord, it might be well to add a few words regarding the need for counseling and helping them in selecting a suitable occupation for life. This should not be undertaken without much prayer for divine wisdom and guidance. Parents should be able from experience and observation to help point out a right path for them. There are some occupations which could not be undertaken by a Christian without serious spiritual loss; a son or daughter should be warned against these. Then there are others which may be satisfactory in themselves, but which would not suit their temperament or capabilities. It would be folly to try to make an accountant out of a young man who had no aptitude for the handling of figures, or to make a businessman out of a son who simply had no ability in that area. Proverbs 22:6 JND tells us, “Train up a child according to the tenor of his way.” This includes the recognition of each individual child’s natural abilities, and encouraging him or her in that way. Parents should not try to “force a square peg into a round hole.”
Some people can work well with their hands who could not succeed at anything else, and there is no disgrace connected with honest manual labor. Some people have had hard struggles through life by reason of trying to do something for which they were not fitted. It is well when one can have a means of earning his livelihood where he can “therein abide with God” (1 Cor. 7:24). And whatever it is —business, profession, or manual labor — it should be only a means of making a living while we pass through the world; our chief concern should be to do all to the glory of God.
Ambitions
There is a treacherous principle which often works in the hearts of Christian parents; that is, to seek great things for their children. They are often content to pass through the world with little themselves, but strive to help their children reach greater heights. Sometimes parents may even try to realize their own frustrated ambitions in their children. The prophet Jeremiah was instructed to speak thus to Baruch: “Seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not” (Jer. 45:5). May we not ask in like spirit, “Seekest thou great things for thy children? seek them not,” but rather seek that they may go through this world with godliness and contentment, honoring God and glorifying Christ. A dear Christian father who helped his children to reach high places, later saw to his sorrow that it was done to their great spiritual loss and damage, and was heard to lament for his son, “I would rather he were sweeping the streets of the city.”
Worldly Influence
Lot may have desired for his children the advantages that Sodom offered, but it was to their ruin. How many parents have taken their children into the world, and then when they realized what had happened (for such steps are often almost imperceptible at first), they sought to get them out, but found that it was impossible. Lot took his family into Sodom and lost some of his children there, and those who were “saved... so as by fire” were a shame and a disgrace to him. Oh that Christian parents would realize the danger of the world for their children, and use every care to keep them from it, and instruct them how they should live in it!
In the days of Joshua the Israelites were in danger of serving the idols of the heathen, just as today Christians are tempted to serve the world and its aims, but Joshua summed up the matter in a few words and put it pointedly before them. He placed Jehovah the God of Israel on the one side, and all the idols on the other, and said to them, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve” (Josh. 24:15). They were going to serve one or the other. Our Lord Himself said, “No servant can serve two masters ... Ye cannot serve God and mammon” (Luke 16:13). May there be more, like Joshua, who can speak for themselves and for their families, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15). May the Lord grant to us all this purpose of heart on the one hand, and a great sense of our own weakness on the other, so that we cast ourselves and our families on Him for His help to “walk and to please God” (1 Thess. 4:1).
P. Wilson (adapted from The Institution of Marriage)
O woman .... be it unto thee, even as thou wilt.
O woman, is thy mother’s heart
Full often sore distressed,
When gazing on thy little ones,
Close folded to thy breast?
Dear as they are, and lovely too,
As spring’s first blossoms fair,
Thou knowest beneath their comeliness,
Sin’s deadly germs are there.
Fain wouldst thou shield thy babes from harm,
For them, thy life resign;
But, oh, how feeble is thine arm,
How weak all strength of thine!
“What futures will my loved ones make?”
The thought thy mind employs;
Will they thy heart with anguish break,
Or crown thy head with joys?
Mother, thou hast a refuge near,
Jesus, the virgin’s child;
Who trod Himself earth’s deserts drear,
Holy, and undefiled.
He lay upon a woman’s breast,
He lisped a mother’s name.
And childhood, youth, and manhood blessed,
Who child and man became.
Mother, behold thy Savior’s face,
His hands and feet and side;
Canst thou not trust His love and grace
Who for thy dear ones died?
Oh, lay those tender lambs of thine
On that kind Shepherd’s breast;
Their future to His care resign,
And in His wisdom rest.
Mother, how multiplied thy joy,
What solace to thy fears;
To train them now, thy sweet employ,
To serve in coming years;
Still look to Him, and trust, and pray,
Who has the work begun;
“E’en as thou wilt,” still hear Him say,
“Woman, it shall be done.”
J. G. Deck