“GIVE me that sleeping draft now, Agnes; it does not matter whether I come out of the sleep again or not; I am safe for eternity.”
These words were addressed by old W. J―to his dear aged partner in life, who, in vain for days, had pled with him to take the drug the doctor had prescribed to induce sleep. His bodily sufferings had been so severe, that he had been unable to sleep for weeks. But deeper, and more dreadful, were the agonies of his soul, in view of soon meeting God.
Previous to this fatal illness, he had been a very moral, strict living, religious man; so much so, that he thought he had a fair, good chance of getting to heaven—his life being such as would favorably commend him to God. An opportunity had been given, some years before his death, to bring out his estimate of his own righteousness. His son Walter, who had been a grief to his religious father and mother by his careless, irreligious life, was converted to God. On telling his father the good news, that he was now a saved man, instead of filling that father’s heart with joy, the communication only produced anger, which made him exclaim, “It’s presumption of the highest kind for one like you to say you are saved. Your life, as I have often told you, has been a cause of much sorrow to your parents. Now you come and tell us you know you are saved. How can anyone know that in this world? I have been a strictly religious living man ever since I came to the years of responsibility, and I dare not be as presumptuous as you are in saying I am saved; but I have a good hope of getting to heaven when I die.” Often afterward his son spoke and wrote to him on the subject of salvation by GRACE ALONE, but to all appearance to no avail, as he clung most tenaciously to his own self-righteous rags until death stared him in the face.
The doctor, who had done his best to effect a cure, at length made the sad announcement to him that he could hold out no hope of recovery; but he would give him something that would deaden the pain, and induce sleep. The communication just made― “No Hope of Recovery” ―took from him, as if by magic, and at once, all the good hopes of heaven he had spoken of to his son, “What,” he said to himself, “if Walter is right, and I am wrong? He seems so SURE he is SAVED, and I could never shake him, and I feel so UNCERTAIN. It’s nothing better than a leap in the dark. Oh, I cannot face a holy God as I am! I am not fit to meet Him. I know that with all my strict religious life I have committed sins, and I do not know they are forgiven. Oh, what shall I do? I am lost, I am lost!”
Such was the deep distress of his soul, when Agnes, his wife, brought the sleeping draft at first to him, that he exclaimed, “Take, it away; take it away, I dare not take it.”
“But it will relieve your pain, and you will get a sleep.”
“I know it will, but I don’t want to sleep.”
“But it will do you so much good, for you have had no sleep for such a time.”
“Don’t press me to take it, Agnes, for I dare not sleep. If I were to take that draft and go to sleep, I am afraid I might never come out of it again; and, oh, I have such a fear of meeting God, for I am not fit to meet Him!”
He continued in this state for several days, during which time a friend of the writer visited him, and sought by God’s help to point him to the sinner’s Saviour. After several conversations with him, he was enabled to rest his sin-stricken soul upon Christ. No sooner had he done so than he KNEW, like his son Walter, that he WAS SAVED. For all who trust Jesus must be perfectly safe. The moment a poor sinner rests his soul on Him, all his safety depends―not on himself in any measure―but on the One he has trusted. If He is a perfect Saviour―and who will question it? ―all who trust Him then MUST be saved.
It was not long till a most striking proof was given of the wonderful change that had taken place in W. J― ‘s soul. After my friend left the house, he turned his eyes to his wife, with an expression of perfect peace on his face, and said: “Give me that sleeping draft now, Agnes; it does not matter whether I come out of the sleep again or not; I am safe for eternity.”
He lived for a few weeks, always thankful for his nightly “sleeping draft” to deaden his bodily pain; but more thankful by far for the unspeakable relief he had got for his guilty soul, by the all-cleansing blood of Christ. Not only had he got relief from guilt, but his soul also rejoiced in the blessed, personal Saviour he now knew, and in, whose presence he was soon to be. The happy change in him very soon produced anxiety of soul in his dear aged wife, and she also found peace shortly after her husband’s death. Often it has been the writer’s happy privilege to visit her in her widowhood, and from her lips he received the story of her husband’s conversion.
Now, dear reader, one word with you before I lay my pen aside. How do you stand in relation to death? Has its “sting” been removed for you? It’s no use thinking that the sting can be taken out of death by any good deeds of yours. It is very questionable if your life will compare with the strict moral life of the subject of this paper; and you have just read how it failed to take the sting out of death for him. He felt it was there in all its terror when he mule to face it. If you do not know your sins are all forgiven, be assured that death retains its awful “sting” for you. But, thanks be to God, that sting may disappear for you this very moment, if you, as a lost, guilty sinner, trust that blessed Saviour, who died for our sins under the righteous hand of a sin-hating God, that He might remove the sting of death, which is sin (1 Cor. 15:3, 4, 55-573For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 4And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: (1 Corinthians 15:3‑4)
55O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 56The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:55‑57)), from before the eye of God, and from the conscience of the poor sinner who believes in Jesus.. Then will you be able to say of death what Paul said, “To die is GAIN,” and to “depart and be with Christ is far BETTER” (Phil 1:21, 23).
J. M.