EARLY religious impressions were the portion of the subject of this paper from his youth, the desire to be “good” from time to time exercising the heart amid much that was far from it.
This, with an ardent temperament, and strong natural desires for. that which would satisfy it, led to alternations of allowance of evil propensities, and the seeking after better things. The evil was very really enjoyed, and the good very earnestly longed for—a state of things which gradually developed into the preponderance of the evil, and thus the exposure to himself of the fallen heart within, a heart which Scripture says is “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:99The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)).
A physical disability, contracted under God’s hand in the first year of his life, was a great restraint in some ways, though it led, on the other hand, to many indulgences on the part of his parents. Sea-bathing being recommended, he was often and long at the seaside, and much with a family where in all simplicity God was recognized, and the Lord Jesus known as the Saviour of some of the members of it. Here, after a lecture on temperance at the chapel, the pledge of total abstinence was signed at twelve years of age. This was maintained for some years, yet it did not bring with it any consciousness of improvement; but weekly readings just then enjoyed with a Christian aunt and fellow-sufferer kept alive the desire in the mind that the affliction from which he suffered might be the means of his becoming what he knew he was not. This at last, after reading a book in which the heroine, as the result of being deprived of her sight through an accident, was converted to God, became a fixed desire on his part.
During this period, a steady interest in a Sunday school led the superintendent to appoint him teacher of the infant class. But two Sundays were enough to prove to him that he himself wanted teaching in the things of God, and could not presume to teach others, even the youngest. As a result of this the Sunday school was abandoned.
At eighteen years old, under the influence of disappointment, restraint was broken through, the total abstinence pledge was set aside, and some excesses in this way manifested more fully to himself what the heart is, and how little it can be trusted, yet by mercy even then, when broken and contrite, a heart that fears and trembles God can look upon with compassion.
At the age of twenty-one conviction of sin reached its climax. A visit was paid to one, who, having been known for some time, was now suddenly laid low in rapid consumption. She had found peace with God in the beginning of this illness through a mutual friend, who had been many years a believer, and who loved to speak well of his Master. Excruciating pain and transports of joy were now the portion of this dear one during the short remaining period of her sojourn here; and this was accompanied by a rapid growth in things divine, which were received with avidity and heavenly ecstasy. At its close she entered upon the enjoyment of the fulness of her new life in Christ’s own blessed presence.
Her mother commiserating her on the emaciated condition of her arm on one occasion, she exclaimed, lifting it up with difficulty, “You call that a poor arm! That will be a glorified arm shortly.”
Such a scene as this—the joy and exultation of this dying saint, amid that which evidently indicated a rapidly approaching dissolution of the body— necessarily laid hold of one in an exercised state as above described, greatly impressing him and fixing itself upon a mind already softened and prepared for it; and that night, when in bed, it took complete possession of him, ploughing up the heart and driving away every thought natural to it.
The Spirit of God having now taken charge of affairs, thoughts, evidently suggested by Him, coursed through the mind as rapidly as on such occasions they are wont to do, as when on a like occasion one said—He “told me all things that I ever did.” (John 4:2929Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? (John 4:29)). Things were brought together, and connected and applied to himself in a way not hitherto seen.
In a room beneath him lay an aged relative, whose days also were fast ebbing out. Here, alas! anything but the same state of mind as that of the one spoken of above was the portion of the sufferer. Some little earthly possessions occupied her mind, but the future was then dark, an unknown problem to her soul.
Now these two cases were thrown into contrast; yet only in order to a much more vital contrast to the thinker. If, thought he, the first were to die, all that I have learned being true, she would go to heaven to be with the Lord Jesus, who has loved her, and given her such a vivid foretaste of what it will be to be for ever with Himself. If the second were to die, what would be the end?
Without waiting to follow this out the Spirit said, “And you, if you were to die, and you may go before Either of them, even tonight, Where would you go?” To this he replied unhesitatingly and aloud, “I should certainly go to hell!”
The Spirit of God had now accomplished in the soul that for which He had been working and patiently waiting for twenty-one years. Conviction of sin, and the acknowledgment of a just doom had come at last. The whole thing was out! “I perish!” was wrung from the despondent heart. There will be no surprise that sleep for that night had fled, while despair had almost seized its victim and possessed it the next day and the next night also.
The following day, being unable to bear it any longer, the usual restraint was broken through, the room of the second in command at the office was invaded unbidden, and the case laid before him as a known Christian, the one, indeed, who had been used of the Lord to speak peace to the happy soul above referred to. He listened patiently to all that was said, and apparently not without some idea of what had been going on, while at the same time proceeding with the drawing that lay upon the board before him. Then he lifted himself up, saying, “These are the words of the Lord Jesus, the Son of God:—
‘Verily verily, I say unto you, He that
heareth My word, and believeth on Him
that sent Me, HATH everlasting life, and
shall not come into condemnation; but is
passed from death unto life’” (John 5:2424Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. (John 5:24)),
adding very quietly, “Now, if any one were to ask you if you had everlasting life, what would you say?”
This question arrested him, and not having any conception of such a means of getting rid of the terrible burden that was pressing him down, and his fears of its termination, he stood in blank astonishment, and said nothing.
Meanwhile, his chief again bowed himself over the drawing board, and resumed his work. Then, after a minute or two of silence, he lifted himself up. again, and looking at the one who stood trembling by him, said “Well, what would you say?”
Constrained at last to speak, he broke the tense silence, saying, “Well, if what you say is true, then I have everlasting life.”
Conditional as this acceptance of the Lord’s words, seemed to be, there passed through the whole being of that trembling soul such a thrill of joy that to this day—after fifty-six years—he has never forgotten it, nor will through eternity!
The great transition had taken place. A soul had passed out of a state of death into a state of life. Eternal life, to which no judgment can, by any possibility, be attached, was his. Blessed be the name of the Lord, he was, therefore, converted and saved. Hell had lost its prey. He had tasted the joy of heaven. Never, but for one brief moment, some three weeks after that date, under an assault of the devil to recover his lawful captive, has he lost the assurance of this. But confession to God made on his knees brought that assurance back to him, never to be lost again through doubt or fear of any kind.
Now the wearied frame might have taken its rest in sleep, but a new impulse forbade this. Not fear now, but joy. Transcendent joy, such as never before had been experienced, nor hoped for, now filled the spirit. He could have sung the night that followed through without further physical distress. But a brother next in years below him lay in another bed on the opposite side of the room enjoying the sweet sleep of the labouring man. Yet, if this circumstance arrested the singing, it at once aroused interest in that brother’s spiritual welfare, and without waiting to consider, he arose, crossed the room, and laying his hand upon his brother’s shoulder, calling him by name, said, “If you died tonight, where would you go?” A moment’s pause as the suddenly aroused mind tried to grasp the proposition presented to it, and he then threw off the hand upon his shoulder, and turning himself over, said, “Oh go to sleep, and don’t be a fool.”
The joy of knowing that that brother has gone home to heaven in the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ, with many others also of the same family, has since been the reward for this. But for such a result of the above unconsidered act it might have been thought unwarrantable. But faith and love do not reason. Why should not this brother participate in the newly-found joy of his soul? was the only reasoning he knew.
That precious verse (John 5:2424Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. (John 5:24)) is a choice and suited instrument in the Lord’s hand for communicating life, and the knowledge of it to exercised souls. It occurs in a chapter where it is shown that every living member of Adam’s race must receive at the hands of the Son of the Father, either life or judgment. This verse shows how life is received. Doubly true is it that he who hears the voice of the Son of the Father in the innermost recesses of his spirit, bringing him consciously into the presence of that Son, and who as a result of this believes in the Father who sent the Son, HATH eternal life, and the Lord says, “I will raise him up again at the last day” (John 6:4040And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. (John 6:40)). The voice of the Son of the Father brings life to the dead soul, and the power to hear; as it shall presently give life to all dead bodies that are in the graves (John 5:28, 2928Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, 29And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation. (John 5:28‑29)).
Let it be noted that the word is “judgment” here, not condemnation, for it is not a question merely of condemnation, but of judgment, though judgment would surely lead to condemnation. David says: “Enter not into judgment with thy servant; for in thy sight shall no man living be justified” (Ps. 143:2). But the believer here does not come into judgment, even to see if he shall be condemned or not; but has already—now—eternal life.
It is well also to see why the one who thus hears and believes shall not come into judgment. It is because He, whose voice he has beard, has Himself borne the judgment at the cross of Calvary for him, and has satisfied to the full all the claims of divine justice against him, a sinner, dead in trespasses and sins as he was. This at once arrays the very righteousness of God on his behalf, for—
“God will not payment twice demand;
Once at my bleeding Surety’s hand,
And then again at mine.”
Nor is it a question of perpetuity of existence merely; this is the least characteristic of eternal life. That which is communicated is an entirely new status of being; a life which unfallen Adam had not, nor have angels, nor any other created being. It has its own nature, laws, environment, and food, with its own object, even Him who gave it, the Son of the Father, in whom it was for men from the beginning.
But if this voice of the Son be refused, there is but one alternative for each person thus exercising his own will; he must receive judgment at the hands of that Son; for “the Father . . . hath committed all judgment unto the Son . . . and hath given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of man” (John 5:2222For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son: (John 5:22) and 27). Then when His voice, which now speaks life, says “Depart, ye cursed!” the human will has no power to refuse this omnipotent relegation of the whole being to its final doom and condemnation. May the reader be saved from this. The way of life stands open for mon now. Take it, I entreat you.
“Yes there is room I still open stands the gate,
The gate of love; it is not yet too late:
Room, room, still room! oh! enter, enter now.”