It has been suggested that the three most important decisions we make in life concern: first, our salvation; second, the assembly; and third, marriage. No doubt there are other important choices, but these are not nearly as critical. The job we pursue will certainly impact our life, but, although it may not be easy, changing careers is at least possible. In stark contrast, when it comes to the first decision, salvation, the consequences are eternal. This is not something that we can treat lightly. It is of the utmost importance that we settle this question first and foremost. In fact, if you are unsaved, then you do not need this booklet; you need the gospel. Without delay, fall on your knees before a righteous and holy God; own yourself to be a sinner, utterly lost in His sight, and receive that free gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. “The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom. 6:23). “Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead ... there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:10-12). “God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him” (Rom. 5:8-9). “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved” (Acts 16:31). “How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation” (Heb. 2:3).
In the eyes of Christendom the second decision, the assembly, is insignificant and of little consequence. For sure, it will be conceded that one must choose a good, Bible-teaching church that is a good fit, and with the programs to meet one’s needs. Nevertheless, despite the prevailing opinions, it is not for us to attend the church of our choice; God has His church! To be unsettled as to the true nature of the church and the fellowship into which we have been called (1 Cor. 1:9), leads to a doubtful foundation upon which to build a marriage and family. Our relationship with the Lord must have greater priority in our lives than any earthly bond that we enter into. It is not my intent in this booklet to take up the subject of church truth, but I would encourage the reader to carefully consider the character of the church as found in the Word of God, and to ask: Am I gathered according to Scriptural principles unto the name of the Lord Jesus Christ? Is the table with which I am identified the Lord’s Table, or is it the table of men? Is it the Lord’s Supper, or is it, as Paul had to tell the Corinthians, our own supper? (Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 10:15-22; 1 Cor. 11:17-34). Are we even remembering the Lord in His death; is it important to me or not? Where on my list of priorities is it? I recognize that our understanding of these things may be limited; nevertheless, are we willing to fully entrust our ways unto God, and to allow Him to direct our paths? “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass” (Psa. 37:5). If you are undecided as to the assembly — perhaps holding back because you don’t want to make a commitment — then this is a clear sign as to a lack of readiness for taking a step towards matrimony.
As to the third decision, thankfully, a significant number of Christians still view marriage as a sacred institution — by institution I mean a relationship established by God. Furthermore, there is probably a broad consensus among fundamental Christians that marriage is a lifetime commitment. Sadly, the reality does not live up to the belief. Between 40% and 50% of marriages, even between those who identify themselves as Christian, end in divorce. In fact, divorce rates for so-called fundamental Christians are actually higher than the average. As Christians, they do not believe in living together, and so they enter marriage hastily, and for many of the wrong reasons. As a result, they often then find themselves contemplating divorce.
The institution of marriage is under attack as never before. Certainly, man has always found a way to weaken that which God has established, but the very nature of marriage is now called into question. It is no longer a relationship established by God between a man and a woman, but the union of two committed individuals. In some ways we should not be surprised. The focus has been on who we marry, and the why has taken a secondary place. Perhaps you ask, isn’t marriage all about who? Isn’t that the question? Who’s the one to fulfill my dreams? Every romance novel, every Hollywood script, focuses on meeting that perfect girl or the handsome prince. The number of people slept with along the way is immaterial, and just when the real relationship begins, the credits roll! I would, however, suggest, as others have done before me, if we understand the why of marriage, the who becomes easier to identify.