Many Christian parents, through a wrong application of the doctrines of grace, have allowed their children to grow up around them in willfulness and worldliness, and while so doing they have comforted themselves with the thought that they, as parents, could do nothing and that in God’s time their children would, if included in the eternal purpose, be gathered in. They have lost sight of the practical truth that the One who has decreed the end has fixed the means of reaching it, and it is the height of folly to think of gaining the end while neglecting the means.
Thou and Thy House
There are two things involved in it. In the first place, there is a precious privilege, and in the second place, a great responsibility. It is unquestionably the privilege of all Christian parents to count on God for their children, but it is also their solemn responsibility to bring up their children in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” And what does this “bringing up” involve? Perhaps very few parents understand what Christian training means or how it is to be carried on. One thing is certain: Christian training means a great deal more than drilling religion into our children, making the Bible a task-book, teaching our children to repeat texts and hymns like a parrot and turning the family circle into a school. It is very good to store the memory of a child with Scripture and hymns no one would think of calling this in question. But too frequently the reality is that religion is made weariness to the child, and the Bible becomes nothing more than a dreary schoolbook.
This will never do. What is really needed is to surround our children with a thoroughly Christian atmosphere, from their earliest moments let them breathe the pure air of the new creation let them see in their parents the genuine fruits of spiritual life: love, joy, peace, purity, tenderness, kindness, unselfishness and thoughtfulness of others. These characteristics have a mighty moral influence upon the plastic mind of the child, and the Spirit of God can assuredly use such in drawing the heart to Christ—the center and the source of all these beauteous graces and heavenly influences.
Parental Inconsistency: A Real Danger
On the other hand, who can describe the detrimental effect produced upon children by our inconsistencies, bad temper, selfish ways, worldliness and covetousness? While on this subject of training children we would, in true brotherly love, offer a suggestion to all Christian parents as to the immense importance of instilling a spirit of obedience. Are we then to be continually jerking the reins and brandishing the rod? By no means. This would be to break the spirit of the child, instead of subduing his will. Where parental authority is thoroughly established, the reins may lie gently on the neck and the rod be allowed to stand in the corner.
The real secret of successful training lies in the appropriate balance of firmness and tenderness. If from the very beginning parents establish their authority, they may exercise all the loving tenderness their hearts can desire or display. When the child is really made to feel that the reins and rod are under the direct control of wisdom and love not sour temper and arbitrary will there will be little difficulty in training the child.
Two Essential Ingredients in Education
Firmness and tenderness are the two essential ingredients in all sound education a firmness which the child will not dare to question and a tenderness which takes account of the child’s wants and desires. It is sad indeed if the idea which children form of parental authority be that of an arbitrary interference with, or a cold indifference to, their wishes and wants. It is not thus that our heavenly Father deals with us, and He is to be our model in this as in all else.
It is written, “Children, obey your parents in all things,” and, in beautiful balance, it is also written, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Again, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right,” and, “Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The child must be taught to obey, but the obedient child must be allowed to breathe an atmosphere of tenderness and parental affection. This is the spirit of Christian education.
C. H. Mackintosh
(from Jehovah’s Demand and Satan’s Objections; supplied by P. Hadley)