All that we do for the Lord, whether made effectual to others or not, is service, accounted so by Him, and by-and-by to be rewarded by Him. This is what we need to learn. We have to learn that we are so the Lord's as to have no right to ourselves.
We often hear the expression "consecrating our talents," "devoting ourselves," "giving up ourselves," forgetting that we do not possess ourselves. We had forfeited all, and Christ redeemed us, but as we had sold ourselves and were the slaves, or servants of Satan, Christ purchased us, that we might be His servants (slaves), absolutely His. This truth enhances the grace of Rom. 12:1, 21I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1‑2) that can beseech us to yield our bodies, although we belong to Him, body and soul.
Therefore, whenever I do the least thing to please myself, right or wrong, I am sinning, for I am not my own. When I do anything because it is His will in obedience, it is service. Men may not so reckon it, the flesh in us may despise it saints may say "We do nothing," Christ says, "You serve Me.”
If, in a large house, a servant is hired to attend only to one bell, she is paid for being in her place, waiting for that bell to ring, all the day long. While she waits ready to attend it she is a good servant, though she may do nothing else. She was hired for that one thing. The Lord wants us to be at His bidding, whether for activity or inactivity. We must learn this, I believe, before the Lord will have much use for us; and then we have to learn also that we are not agents to act for Him, but rather instruments by which He acts; pipes through which He Waters. We must learn our nothingness in order that we may be simple, in no way occupied with ourselves, whether in success or failure. Our work is to deliver our message, and we are rewarded for doing our work. The success is not ours to control, and when we learn our nothingness, that we are only the instruments that He takes up as and when He pleases, and for what He pleases, we shall be content to work on simply.
Perhaps you will say, "Of course." But I assure you that to me all this is new. I have worked with some diligence, but now I see how much self-will dictated. I was a willing, self-dictating agent.
When first I saw this, I was perplexed and sad at heart. How should I ever know what the Lord would have me do? How should I avoid running when. not sent, etc.? It appeared to me the stream of service was at once cut off. I could not go back to old plans, and I could not see one step before me, but the Lord knew all. and when He had taught me the lesson, in a measure, He used me when I thought not of it, and showed me that life in healthy action necessarily includes all service, and all I had to do was to yield myself as one alive (in a new life which was a gift) and yield my members as instruments, etc. (Rom. 6.), and He would speak through me, act by me, in a word use me.
I cannot tell you how this has simplified this matter, made me happy in strength or feebleness writing or speaking. Fear of man, and desire of man's approbation is that which is judged as sin. I used to desire to live to some purpose, to be of some use. Why? "O, for God's glory," I would have said. But now I see it was for self. I had not learned my nothingness now and to all eternity. I worked as an individual believer, to be individualized to all eternity, not as a part of Christ. The Lord will fill the vessel, when He has prepared it, will use the tool when it knows itself to be one. Do not be discouraged, trust God and believe the love He has toward you.