Ellen observed one evening, as her husband was seeking some passages then in discussion, that he started and was absorbed in profound thought, which continued to hold him agitated and silent for nearly half an hour. At length she ventured to inquire the cause of his emotion. He laid his finger on 2 Cor. 6:1414Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14), and following verses: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?" etc.; and then asked her whether she had observed this passage before their marriage. She sighed, and confessed she had.
“Then, my beloved Ellen," said he, "distress yourself no longer with the apprehension of any difference between your state and mine. I have not, indeed, felt as you have described, nor do I know of any change in my soul to constitute what you call being born again: but the idea is a mere delusion. I know the innocence and integrity of your heart, and am sure that if your feelings had constituted you a believer-while I, with rectitude of conduct, and full persuasion of the truth of scripture, but destitute of such feelings, was, in the scriptural sense of the word, an unbeliever; you never could have been guilty of such a violation of God's command. No, my Ellen, we are, and both of us have always been, truly believers; these notions of yours are the mistakes of a virtuous mind, and of a too highly heated imagination. Lay them aside, my dearest companion, and suffer not such gloomy and enthusiastical views to disturb your enjoyment of the pleasures of the present hour. I never before noticed the passage, or I am sure I should have been able to withstand and, I hope, to divert your mind from the superstitious views which have, indeed, lately had too much of your attention-." What words can describe the emotions of the astonished wife! Reply was impossible; she sat silent, convicted, overwhelmed.
Mr. R- at length changed the subject, and tried to compose her mind. She hastened to be alone, and then confessed her transgression with sighs and tears.
A few evenings afterward she attempted to renew the subject, in hope of yet convincing her husband of his unrenewed state. But he was now dead to every impression, considering her mind as laboring under delusive views of Scripture, and as prejudiced with uncharitable notions of upright persons; nor could she obtain his attention to the subject; but was grieved beyond degree to find all his love for her urge him to divert her mind from every serious subject. The dread of their children being trained up to the same religious habits, led him to counteract every effort of hers to impress the things of God on their youthful souls. The customs and company, so far as he could affect them, became as contrary to true piety as ever, and for five years more she struggled on, sometimes momentarily seduced by the desire of answering to his unabated affection, to what she felt was a compliance inconsistent with the heart's devotedness to God. Beset with every possible hindrance in maintaining her own steadfastness; perpetually afflicted with the vain and worldly habits of her tender offspring, imparted and cherished by her own beloved partner; sometimes her continual sorrow of heart would threaten her health; and then, oh, the thought of leaving her family to such a soul-ruining system!
But amidst all, she was enabled by divine grace to adhere to the resolution she had solemnly taken: "Let others do as they would; as for her, she would serve the Lord." How did she mourn that she could not, like Joshua, engage for her household also; but she had read, "Whoso loveth father, or mother, or husband, or wife, more than Me, is not worthy of Me." (Luke 14:2626If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26).) Especially Matt. 10:32-4232Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. 33But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. 34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 40He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. 41He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. 42And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. (Matthew 10:32‑42), powerfully affected her mind to perseverance.
While reading Psa. 103, she felt the scourge, which by her forbidden connection with an unrenewed heart, she had prepared for herself. She loved God; but she loved one who was a stranger to Him, and He was preparing her for an unexpected trial. What was the agony of her spirit when, during a season of retirement, she was aroused with the tidings that her husband had suddenly burst a blood vessel in a fit of coughing. After the first alarm was passed, and hopes were given that he might do well, she earnestly commended his soul to God in prayer, and determined to renew her efforts to bring him to Christ. The full opportunity was presented; for a while he seemed to gain strength, and at a period when they were alone together, while expressing her delight at his advancing recovery, at the same time she plainly intimated her apprehensions concerning the safety of his soul. He heard her calmly, and then replied, with grateful and equally affectionate language, that "he did not wonder at her concern; he could enter into her feelings, and if he thought as she did, he should very probably entertain the same apprehensions for one who did not profess the change or agitation of mind, which appeared to him to be mere enthusiasm; and which indeed," said he, with a smile, "has been the only fault I have ever had to find with my beloved Ellen.”
She answered in the words of our Lord, "Except a man be born again, he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." He declared that he needed no other dispositions of mind than those which he continually exercised, and that he was quite prepared for death, and had no doubts of his everlasting safety.
“Ah! my dearest husband," said Ellen, "that self-complacency is the very thing that concerns me on your account; it is so different from the views which a David, a Paul, a Peter, and all the inspired writers took of themselves, and it is so opposed to the judgment of God's word concerning those whose hearts and affections are entirely engaged by the occupations and amusements of this world. 'Love not the world,' saith 1 John 2:33And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. (1 John 2:3), 'neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not him.' So also St. Paul, 1 Tim. 5:66But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. (1 Timothy 5:6). 'She that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.' And our blessed Lord has clearly shown the true condition of our state before God in declaring, 'Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.' (Matt. 6:2121For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6:21).) You cannot but feel that your heart has been engaged by earth; then, what ground have you in this condition to hope for treasure in heaven?”
“Indeed, my dear Ellen," he replied, "there have been many deficiencies in this respect; but my life has been upright, and I believe that Jesus Christ will do the rest for me. God is too merciful to condemn such an one as I have been." "But on what declaration of scripture do you rest this hope?" inquired she. He felt the question embarrassing, and in vain endeavored to recall some passage to warrant the vague expectation so contrary to the explicit testimonies adduced by his wife, and then cut short the subject by declaring that he should be miserable if he adopted her views, and he earnestly hoped she would never infuse them into the minds of the children. She sighed, and reluctantly acceded to his wish of changing the topic. (Continued and to be continued)