(from a sister, for my fellow sisters)
Let’s read together 1 Peter 3, verses 1-6.
For many years I have had the words “a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” underlined in my Bible. In fact, they were underlined long before I was married. When I felt my opinions were becoming too strong, I would pull myself up short and more or less slink back to that verse (and others I had marked about meekness), to try to get myself back into “my place.” I realize now that this was not really having a meek and gentle spirit. A couple of years ago a sister shared a most helpful book with me, and I would like pass on some thoughts from its meditations.
“The word translated ‘meek,’ or ‘gentle,’ is the Greek word ‘praus.’ It literally means power that is under control or power that is submitted or surrendered. In our English language we think of meekness and gentleness as actions, but in the Greek these words refer more to the condition of the mind and heart. In a worldly sense, a strong woman is forceful, but in a Biblical sense a strong woman is submitted to the leadership in her life. We see the Lord Jesus as a man, meek and gentle ... but powerless? By no means. When He stood silent before Pilate, was He powerless? No, He was in complete control of the moment, as He was fully submitted to His Father.
“The word translated ‘quiet’ is the Greek word ‘hesuchios.’ It literally means tranquility arising from within, undisturbed, peaceable. Do those words describe me, or would the term ‘stressed out’ be more applicable? We are not, as women, being told to be quiet as in ‘not to talk’; what is described in Scripture is rather a state of being, arising from peace within.”
(Adapted from “A Gentle
and Quiet Spirit”)
Emulating the Example
We would all like to emulate the example set out in this passage. Yet you and I may have so many “what ifs”! Perhaps you say, “What if I don’t have a husband?” or “What if my husband is so very hard to submit to, as he doesn’t lead”? Or on the other end of the spectrum, “What if he leads on, beating his drum and expecting his troops to follow on, no questions asked?” Stop right here, and may we say, “Read your own mail.” Let’s leave our husbands to read theirs. This is for us personally. As sisters in Christ, we all must begin by submitting to One, our Lord Jesus, as our Head. Now what do these verses say to you and me?
First of all, we are to reverence/respect our “head” (Eph. 5:3333Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)). This verse refers to a husband, but can also mean a father, a boss at work, or older brothers in the assembly. If it is our husband, God tells us that our reverence to him will in turn bring about his love to us. In our passage in 1 Peter, we see that the husband can be won “without words”! That is really something to tell the woman, when her gender is noted for “words,” and she usually has such a desire to share and talk things out! And what then replaces the words? Here we must deal with something that is not popular in a day of feminism — an exhortation as to our dress and deportment.
The Testimony of Deportment
The man has been given the place of leadership in creation, whether in the world, in the home, or in the assembly. Do we as women fade into insignificance then? No. Here is the special place we have. Our testimony to the world is our deportment, which includes our dress, and our “inner man,” the gentle and kind spirit we display in reverencing our husbands and in going about our everyday tasks. We can display all this from a place of submission. This is an honor! Does this mean we are unkempt and dowdy? No, every wife seeks to please her husband and look beautiful for him. But if the inner spirit is right with God, that which is outward and seen by the world will be in keeping. I admit that it is often hard in these days to go shopping and find what we really want to wear and what would be pleasing to our Lord. But let us not settle for the articles put on display for those who do not have a new life that desires to submit to and please God. A meek and quiet spirit will not dress in a provocative and inappropriate manner. And remember, this is in God’s sight of “great price” ... very valuable.
A wife conducting herself in this manner will likely have the ear of her husband. Respect gains respect. Happy is the home where each accepts loving, constructive criticism from the other.
Mr. and Mrs. Peter
As I pondered this passage, I began to think of the disciple that the Lord used to put it into print for us. He used Peter! We might say, “Of all people to be talking about meek and quiet spirits!” But we do know that Peter had a wife (Matthew 8:1414And when Jesus was come into Peter's house, he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever. (Matthew 8:14)). In fact, Peter is the only one of the Lord’s followers that we are told had a wife. How interesting are the details of Scripture! I think of Peter’s wife, at home and in the background, while her rough and ready, perhaps brash and outspoken, impulsive husband accompanies the Lord during His earthly ministry. The Bible does a wonderful job of bringing its people to life in every dimension.
So we see Mrs. Peter quietly remaining in the backwater. But then one day she has the privilege of having the Saviour in her home in a time of great need. Her mother was sick and she received the blessing of the Saviour’s healing touch. While the Lord is working with and working on her husband, He does not forget the needs of his spouse. He delights to give us encouragement and the comfort of His presence. The Lord was doing a great work in her husband’s heart and character. The surgery must have been very painful for Peter. He was self-confident, he flashed his sword and went on to deny his Lord three times and then weep bitterly. Perhaps he was not the easiest man to have been married to? But there was repentance and restoration. What a changed man came off God’s operating table.
Wives and sisters in Christ, we need to do what God has asked of us. Trust Him; He will look after the rest. We can help our husbands most and be the greatest influence on those around us by being the woman God asks us to be.
In this short epistle, Peter uses the word “precious” five times. Does that sound like the burly fisherman who always seemed to have his own agenda? The Lord would not have used him to give us sisters these special instructions if his own house were not in order. I love his words to his fellow brothers in verse 7 concerning wives: “Heirs together of the grace of life.” Precious!
I like to picture Peter with his arm around his wife as he says, “Heirs together.” I look forward to meeting this meek and gentle unnamed lady someday. I’m sure it will be very soon.
“Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.”
(J. G. Whittier)
cph