How many have seen a circle drawn on a piece of paper with a small segment missing? Our minds can trace the missing segment and complete the circle. Somehow the existence of the missing segment is clear to our mind, even though it is not visible on the paper. We deduce that the missing piece is vital to the whole. For me, the “missing piece” is an example of the complex and uniquely challenging position that women of God hold. By emphasizing the complexity of a godly woman’s position, in no way would I want to diminish the difficulties that assault the man of God today. In their sphere, they deal with things just as complex and trying. Satan is ever ready to tear down anything and anyone that would seek to exalt Christ. But to return to godly women, what are we here for? Yes, we are wives and mothers. Yes, we are sisters and daughters. After the godly order, we try to perform all that those relationships require of us. But who are we before God and in the family and in the assembly? Is our womanhood confined to the obligations of our roles? Does our role make the gender or does the gender make the role? Outside of our God-given duties, what does our womanhood offer to the whole? How do we complete the circle? These questions arise in my own heart, and I don’t think that I am the only woman who struggles with a feeling of wanting completeness in the whole.
If, by chance, someone reading this article doesn’t know how a godly woman is to act in the home and in the assembly, the Scriptures are replete with instructions. Read: Genesis 2-3, Proverbs 31, 1 Corinthians 7 and 11, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Timothy 2 and 5, and Titus 2. The instructions are clear and they come from a God of order and beauty, a God of completeness and totality. When He begins a work, He completes it. There are no missing segments in His whole. So how does a godly woman find that completeness in her womanhood? We need to go back to the beginning.
The Order From Creation
God created man. God created woman from man. Their commonality is their flesh and bones. “Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:2323And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (Genesis 2:23)).
God made two uniquely distinct persons, man and woman, from a common “flesh and bones.” Equally distinct are the thinking patterns and emotions of man and woman. The creatorial aspects that differentiate man and woman are basic to the roles that God has given each. This was always the intent of God, and He gives instructions in His Word to confirm His actions in creation.
Isn’t it beautiful to see that God conceived the idea of relationship? Adam was placed as head over all the creation and the creatures within the new world. If dominance in itself were all-fulfilling, Adam wouldn’t have needed Eve. God knew Adam’s need before he was conscious of it. Someone of Adam’s own kind was needed to share his dominion in this new world. Adam needed a help meet that was suitable to him in this new creation. It was all God’s idea to give Eve to Adam. He said, “I will make him a help meet for him.” Eve brought a “completeness” to Adam and a dimension to his being that was not to be found in the rest of the creation. Thus, her way of coming into existence was different from any other being. She was taken from Adam’s side. God initiated this intimacy and interconnection between them. Did not God Himself delight in that moment when Adam opened his eyes after his deep sleep and saw the beautiful woman before him? “They shall be one flesh” was God’s pronouncement of their relationship together. The qualities of their distinctness combine to form a “whole.” Eve was the last piece of creation that completed the whole. In the Epistle to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul tells us that this was a “great mystery” hidden in God from the past eternity. Christ would come, and the blood which was shed from His pierced side would be the basis for redeeming His bride, “a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle.” It is such an awesome thought that “the church, which is His body,” is “the fullness of Him that filleth all in all”! How could it be that fallen and destitute man would, by the grace and purpose of God, have such a portion! This thought alone should be enough to clarify where we stand before God. But the reality is that many times it isn’t.
The Mundane
The mundane is absorbing and repetitive. It takes away from where we would like to be or from what we would like to do. What woman would prefer doing laundry over going to the coffee shop with some Christian friends, or having the luxury of free time to ponder a problem? What woman wouldn’t like to find time to express herself in an art form, whether it be to play the piano, write in a journal, paint a picture, sew a quilt, pick out a new fabric for an old chair, tweak a recipe that has been in the mind, or decide what flowers should go where in the yard? The mundane is absorbing and repetitive, and, worse yet, it is always THERE. But the mundane cannot take from us who we are. In fact, it is in the mundane that we end up expressing who we are. Think of Ruth, who woke up early, gleaned all day, beat out the grain, and probably fell asleep exhausted. Think of the Shunamite who thought about and provided for the needs of God’s prophet, yet refused favors in order to “dwell among [her] own people.” Think of Priscilla, who in company with her husband, pulled the promising young man Apollos aside to “expound ... unto him the way of God more perfectly.” Think of Dorcas who was greatly missed for her quiet work of mending and sewing. And (if you would allow me to go on!) think of Esther who risked her life for the good of God’s people. Think of Jedidah who certainly must have taught her young son Josiah to fear the Lord. Which of these women did what they did because they thought they would be mentioned in God’s holy Word? Which of these women did what they did because they thought someone would praise them? And, lastly, which of these things could have been done better by a man? Perhaps some of them could have been done by a man, but not with the quality that our gender and its sensitivity supplies. Sisters, the mundane is the backbone of our faith when it is performed for the eye of God! Could it be that acceptance of the “mundane” is an integral part of restoring the “missing piece” that completes the circle?
The Virtuous Woman
We read about the “virtuous woman” in Proverbs 31:28-2928Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. (Proverbs 31:28‑29). These verses speak of the praise she received for what she did, the acts she performed. Verse 30 tells us who she was. She was a woman that feared the Lord. Verse 31 tells us the results of her life. Her acts were the result of who she was. She was not shoved into a role and then responded to it; rather, she performed a role because of who she was. In the list of things she did in verses 10-27, were some of these things mundane to her? I don’t think so. She was virtuous. She did them before the eye of God. Rise up, sisters. Look well to your household and your assembly. Reject favor as deceitful. Fear the Lord.
Single Women
May I speak a word to the sisters that for one reason or another find themselves outside of the category of “married with kids”? I am talking to the single sisters that would long to fall into the category above. I am talking to the widowed sisters whose “Adam” is with the Lord. I am talking to the divorced sisters who are sincerely wondering where everything went wrong and are trying to piece together their broken lives. Does your gender, what you were created before God, have no “segment” to make up the “whole”? Do you really believe that? No doubt you feel this way sometimes. But do you really believe that God has no “segment” for you? The deceiver that was from the beginning even now may be whispering to you, “Yea, hath God said?” The recipe remains the same for you as for the “married with kids.” The backbone of faith is found in carrying through the mundane before the eyes of God. Your recipe may be more complicated. You might have to make some substitutions in the ingredients, but what comes out will be uniquely your own. God loves you. Your feminine being has had value to Him from the beginning, from eternity past. The paradise of Eden was lonely without you. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Develop your recipe in the confidence of His love.
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