"And she became his wife; and he loved her." Gen. 24:6767And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. (Genesis 24:67). Such is the grand climax to this marvelous "love story" in God's Word which we would like to consider in connection with its practical application to this important decision in the lives of Christian young people.
It has been said that the thing which everyone seeks after is satisfied affections, and the wonder of all wonders is, that "God is love" and that He is going to find the satisfaction of His Divine affections in the blessing of redeemed man. Christ, the blessed Son of God, in Manhood, is going to have a bride as the object of His heart of love for all eternity. When the soul has learned this, and has tasted of this love, then it has found the truly satisfying portion which will have its grand climax in the "marriage of the Lamb" in heaven.
When we think of this precious love of Christ for His Church being given to us as the pattern—the antitype—of the husband's love to his wife, it becomes a searching consideration for those of us who are in the marriage relationship. A prayerful reading of the latter part of Eph. 5 will be for much blessing in this connection. Several helpful books have been written on marriage and the Christian home, among them "The Institution of Marriage" which will repay a careful reading by all married couples.
However, as one has remarked, it is with the thought of looking at Gen. 24 as to the events which lead up to the marriage relationship that these lines have been written. What a "love story" it is, full of precious instruction for us in our own lives, because it is a beautiful picture of the work of the Spirit of God (typified by Abraham's servant) here upon earth now, gathering out a bride for Christ. If there should be one reading this booklet who is not saved, our prayer is that you may be brought to see your need of a Savior. The Spirit of God is seeking to lead you to Christ, who will not only cleanse away all your horrible sins in His most precious blood, but will make you part of His glorious bride, to be displayed with Him in that day. Why go on in your sins, with certain judgment before you, when you may be blessed so abundantly? Will you not listen to His loving entreaties now, and say, like Rebekah in our chapter, "I will go"?
Another point I would like to mention before entering upon our subject is that we rejoice greatly at the faith of those who have lived above the marriage relationship in order to serve the Lord more fully. Such is the "better" path (1 Cor. 7:3838So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. (1 Corinthians 7:38)), and whether it be because of "present distress" (1 Cor. 7:2626I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. (1 Corinthians 7:26)), or because it could not be "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:3939The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39)), or with the desire to "attend upon the Lord without distraction" (1 Cor. 7:3535And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:35)), the Lord will fully reward devotedness of this kind in the coining day of manifestation. We believe, however, that to remain single for selfish reasons, or to escape the crossing of one's own will which marriage brings, is not of God, who has said, "It is not good that the man should be alone," Gen. 2:1818And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18), and again, "I will therefore that the younger women marry." 1 Tim. 5:1414I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (1 Timothy 5:14). Indeed it is spoken of as a doctrine of demons to forbid to marry. (1 Tim. 4:1-31Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. (1 Timothy 4:1‑3).)
Seeing then that God in His goodness has instituted this relationship which can bring such happiness (or otherwise) to both husband and wife, we can be sure that He has not left us to our own wisdom or thoughts as to the steps leading up to it. All through His Word He shows us that we must set aside all human wisdom if we would truly learn His mind for our path. Let us then put aside our own thoughts and let God speak to us, for He has said, "Now therefore hearken unto Me, 0 ye children: for blessed are they that keep My ways. Prov. 8:3232Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways. (Proverbs 8:32).
We know that with most young people (and really young, especially in the days in which we live!) there is an urge to have a boy friend or a girl friend. Often without thinking, we are affected by the current of things in our generation, and are liable to be swept off our feet before we know it. But let us not forget that we, as Christians, have a Guide for our youth who has all wisdom. Yes, the Person whose very name is Wisdom delights in the sons of men (Prov. 8:3131Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men. (Proverbs 8:31)), and asks us to listen to Him and to wait for His instructions. The desire to have a boy friend or a girl friend is quite natural, but, alas, how often our natural desires lead us away! God, who has placed natural love in our hearts, tells us in His Word that, since sin has entered the world, our natural hearts cannot be trusted. He uses very definite language about this, for He says, "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool." Prov. 28:2626He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26).
We dare not trust our own hearts, for, if we do, God calls us fools, and this is a solemn matter. How thankful we who are saved can be that, through grace, our hearts have been purified by faith, and our bodies henceforth are no longer to be under the control of our old nature and unregenerate hearts. We belong to the One who has redeemed us at such infinite cost, and we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to Him. Then we can prove His "good, and acceptable, and perfect will" in our lives. (Rom. 12:1,21I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1‑2).)
And so, dear young people, just because the urge is there, and because it is natural to have a boy friend or a girl friend, is not the signal for action. Our bodies are not our own, as we have remarked, and we must never forget this. We need guidance. Let us listen to the voice of God and wait upon Him. If you do not, and will not, dear young believer, then your arch enemy Satan, who has had long experience with human nature, will lay careful and well organized plans to trip you up and ruin your young life. And our hearts weep as we see how often he has succeeded. May you hearken to the voice of God in the days of your youth, before you too join with the weeping of others, and have to say, "How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; and have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!" Prov. 5:12,1312And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; 13And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me! (Proverbs 5:12‑13).
I am going to ask you first of all to open your Bibles and read carefully the twenty-fourth chapter of Genesis. May I ask you further, my dear young friends, to consider prayerfully the few remarks I would like to make on it. I desire to make them in love, and I trust I can say, humbly, with some understanding of your feelings and problems.
Here we are introduced into a household of faith; one of those households about which we read a great deal in God's Word. Long years before the events of our chapter, Abraham and Sarah had come out from their country and kindred at the call of God into a land of which they knew nothing. Many testings and trials, and alas failure too, had beset their pathway, but they were still walking by faith, and they knew that God was worthy of their fullest trust and confidence. He had always been faithful and had blessed them abundantly. He had given them a son, too, whom they loved greatly. They called him Isaac. What a privilege it was for Isaac to be born into such a home, though he may not have fully realized it in the days of his youth. Living as a pilgrim may not have been too enjoyable to dear Isaac at times, and he may have often asked "Why this?" and "Why that?". As he grew older his problems increased, for his father did not want him to marry one of the girls of the land where he dwelt, since they were not children of faith. Moreover I am sure that his father, who "commanded his children and his household after him", Gen. 18:1919For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. (Genesis 18:19), did not allow his boy to go out and have a "good time" with them, for that would be a sure start in the wrong direction. He could not be like the other boys of the land, for he had a strict and wise father who loved him. His natural desires had to be kept under control, for one of the fruits of the Spirit is temperance, or self control. (Gal. 5:2323Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:23).) His father had received his boy as from the dead (Heb. 11:1919Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure. (Hebrews 11:19)) and he desired him to walk in the path of faith with a suited partner for such a path. No other would do.
Abraham therefore called his servant who had the charge of all he had and made him promise that he would not choose a wife for his son from among the heathen girls of the land where he dwelt. As we have remarked before, this servant is typical of the Holy Spirit of God who has been given to us to guide us into all truth. (John 16:1313Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will show you things to come. (John 16:13).) If we would seek to be guided by the Spirit of God in all we do, how wonderfully we would taste and prove the Lord's blessing. Just as Abraham's servant was set over all Abraham had, so the Spirit of God delights to bring before us all our blessings in Christ, which flow from the heart of God our Father, and to guide us in right paths where we can enjoy them. Instead of Isaac therefore going himself to seek a bride we find the servant doing so. And is not this a lesson for us? Do not follow your own will, dear young Christian, for if you would know who is the right partner for you, you should ask the Lord to guide you by His Spirit. In this connection it is helpful to notice, too, that the Spirit of God and the Word of God cannot be separated. The Spirit of God will never lead contrary to the Word of God—never. All through our chapter we notice that Abraham's servant acted in obedience to his master, and for the blessing of Isaac. Oh dear young people, how important this is! How needful that you should be guided by the Spirit of God in each step of your courtship. He knows all about you, and can guide and direct you as no one else can.
It was no easy journey to go down to Mesopotamia where he would find the family of faith. It was a distance of several hundred miles, which in those days was a long way to go. And so today, there are real problems in connection with a young man finding the one who is the chosen helpmeet, but faith waits upon the Lord, afraid to take one step alone. Perhaps (the servant said to Abraham) he would not find a girl who was willing to walk in the pilgrim path with Isaac, should he then bring Isaac back to Mesopotamia? "No," said Abraham, "Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again." And he made his servant promise this. If one has learned to value the place and privilege of being gathered to the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, he will not want to return to another position to find a wife, or a girl to find a husband, much less to marry an unbeliever. It would have been better, far better, to cross the wilderness alone, than to take the path of disobedience to his master. Have you, dear young reader, settled this in your mind? It may seem hard, as it must have been for Isaac and the servant here, to contemplate such a thing, but this was a settled matter before the servant started out at all. "Godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Tim. 6:66But godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6). "My times are in Thy hand." Psa. 31:1515My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me. (Psalm 31:15). The desire to have our own way is the root of all sin, and has led to much sorrow in the lives of many dear young people in this connection. Let us seek grace to learn submission to the will of God as the very first principle of Christian life and testimony. When Saul of Tarsus had seen the Lord in glory, he immediately said, "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?" Acts 9:66And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do. (Acts 9:6). May this be the expression of our hearts daily!
There is also another lesson, I believe, in connection with the question of Abraham's servant about what he would do if the woman were unwilling to come back to the land of Canaan with him. If she would not come, then he was not to bring Isaac down to where she lived. Sometimes when a young man is going to marry a girl, he finds she is unwilling to leave her home city and come where he is. I believe we have the wisdom of God here, showing that if she feels that way, and does not love her prospective husband enough to leave home and loved ones for his sake, then they cannot expect the Lord's blessing. It is as though the girl wishes to take the place of head in this matter, and it never works out practically. It is not according to God. (1 Cor. 11:33But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3).) It generally leads to restlessness, and this does not tend to happiness. God's order as given to us here is the best, as always, and how thankful we can be for such instruction for our path.
Having this matter settled in his mind, the servant started out on the long journey to Mesopotamia, and strangely enough (as it might appear to us), the whole journey is passed over in one verse. We are told that the servant took ten camels. Ten in Scripture typifies responsibility Godward—a thing we ought never to forget—and then we are again reminded here that all Abraham's goods were in the servant's hand. You will not run hither and thither to see all the girls there are to see, nor be in a hurry, nor think the waiting time too long, if you always bear these two things in mind. First, you are responsible to act uprightly before God, and next to remember that the hearts of all are in His hands, and that He alone can direct to the right partner. In this way the whole time up to meeting the "right one" is passed over in the one verse. What a lesson, dear young people, and how many disappointments you will be spared if you take it to heart! Some of us have had to learn this the hard way, but God is faithful and He says, "They shall not be ashamed that wait for Me." Isa. 49:2323And kings shall be thy nursing fathers, and their queens thy nursing mothers: they shall bow down to thee with their face toward the earth, and lick up the dust of thy feet; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me. (Isaiah 49:23).
When the servant came to the side of the well near the city of Nahor, with his camels, he made them kneel down. Then he prayed and asked the Lord to guide him in his choice. He had certain things in his mind which he would look for in the young woman whom he was to choose, and he asked the Lord to direct him. Any Christian young man who reads his Bible carefully will learn to expect courtesy (1 Peter 3:7,87Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 8Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:7‑8)), kindness and industry (Prov. 31:10-3110Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:10‑31)) from a godly girl. If such things are lacking he may well question how she could be the right one. The servant therefore asked the Lord to guide him to the girl having these characteristics. It is also important to see where he looked for her. It was not on the busy street of the city but by the side of the well. This makes us think of a place where the Word of God is read and spoken of. The Lord Jesus said, "The water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." John 4:1414But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. (John 4:14). You cannot expect to find the right girl in the wrong place. You will find her in the path of obedience, typified here by the water of the well. (Eph. 5:2626That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (Ephesians 5:26).)
Moreover the servant asked that he might not only know the right one by her courtesy, kindness and industry, but by the fact that she refreshed him, and also that by watering his camels she helped him on his journey as a true helpmeet. Some girls are no spiritual help to the young man who takes them out. They drag him down instead of helping him, and hinder him on his spiritual journey. Dear young believer, if you meet the right girl you will find she will refresh your soul in the Lord, and if she does not do this from the very start, then be careful.
While the servant was praying and asking the Lord's guidance, Rebekah came out to the well. He then courteously approached her and asked for a drink of water from her pitcher. She respectfully gave him a drink and offered to draw water for his ten camels. What a task this was, to draw water for ten camels but she did it quickly and willingly! The servant could only wonder and hold his peace as she did so. His prayer had been more than answered. He had not asked for good looks, for beauty is only skin deep, but he had sought the beauty that abides as the Scripture says "Favor (gracefulness) is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:3030Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30). But now the servant had found the beauty that abides, in a damsel who was "very fair to look upon." How the Lord delights to exceed His promises, and to do for us more than we ask or think!
It is noticeable here that all the advances were made by the young man, and not by the girl. Godly young men will not be attracted by the forwardness of girls who make the advances themselves. It is the spirit of the age, we admit, but it is not of God, and those who are caught in this snare seldom, if ever, find true happiness in married life. In God's order the love begins in the heart of the man (Eph. 5:2525Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)), as it did in the chapter before us, and happy is the girl who marries the man who loves her with a true and deep affection, not just the one she loves. In a well ordered home the love of God is known and enjoyed, and the husband as the head in such a home loves his wife, and satisfies the affections of her loving heart. Only the Lord can bring the right one into your life, dear young sisters in Christ, and if it is His will for you, He will bring that one in His own time and way. If it is not His will, you are far better alone. Look to Him, count upon Him, and you will "prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Rom. 12:22And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2).
The servant's heart was touched and won, and he recognized that it was the Lord's guiding. He then asked Rebekah, "Whose daughter art thou? tell me I pray thee." This, to me, is like making sure of the one important thing. Did she belong to the household of faith? Her answer was clear and definite, and so anyone who is really saved will be glad to make a clear confession of the Lord Jesus, as Rebekah did of her relationship here. When we hear a half-hearted confession of Christ, we are led to wonder about the reality of that one's conversion. Oh dear young people, make sure of this matter first of all. It is not only a terrible mistake and a source of unhappiness, but it is direct disobedience to the Word of God to marry an unbeliever. (2 Cor. 6:1414Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).)
The servant also inquired about the hospitality of Rebekah's home. Two homes were going to be linked together (and this is something one should ponder), and Isaac, who had been brought up in a home where hospitality was so real and warm-hearted, would want a wife from a hospitable home too. These are practical things which ought to be considered. If a young man who loves hospitality marries a girl who does not care to have the home open to the Lord's people, there cannot be true happiness. We should not forget the need of being compatible, and having common interests in life, if we wish happiness and the Lord's blessing, for His Word says "Can two walk together except they be agreed?" Amos 3:33Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3).
One feels, too, that in these days when there is so much to lead the hearts of the children of God away, there is nothing sweeter than having hospitality and fellowship together with them. Hospitality is given a wonderful place in the Word of God, and we are exhorted in Rom. 12:1313Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. (Romans 12:13) to be "given to hospitality." It is lovely to see young people in setting up a new home, considering this matter so as not to deprive themselves of such a wonderful privilege. How many misunderstandings come in because we do not really know our brethren in Christ, in the way we can only know them by being in their homes, and they in ours.
The servant gave, and Rebekah accepted, the jewelry in token of all that had taken place between them, and the family recognized it as such. (verse 30) The giving of expensive gifts ought to be seriously considered, and not done lightly, especially the engagement ring. A broken promise means a broken heart, and it is a serious thing before God and man. Boys and girls of the world may trifle with their affections, and much of the condition of things we see about us is the result of this, but Christian boys and girls need to be careful not to give a wrong impression, nor make hurried promises without prayerful exercise before the Lord. Let us seek grace from the Lord not to speak until we mean what we say, and then say what we mean.
The servant, who had waited for full instructions from his master, and prayed before making any advances, now acknowledged the Lord's goodness and gave thanks to Him. Let us cultivate the habit of prayer and thanksgiving in our lives. We are so prone to forget this.
Rebekah then ran and told her mother all that had taken place. This is so commendable. There is nothing that will inspire such confidence in your parents' hearts, dear young people, as to tell them where you go and what you do. If they are true believers they will be interested, for they are praying for you. It is always a bad start to go out and not tell your parents where you are going. Let us who are parents encourage our children's confidence by showing an interest and understanding in all they tell us. The failure of parents to do this has often led to a lack of confidence with our young people, for every young person wants to tell someone. Let us keep our children's love and confidence!
Rebekah was not forward. She could speak of the hospitality of her home, but she did not invite the man to stay there. Her brother Laban did this—another mark of good manners, for she remembered her proper place. These little things are noticeable here, though often forgotten in this modern day.
The servant then ungirded his camels and fed them. He showed by this that he was able to look after his affairs with discretion (Psa. 112:55A good man showeth favor, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion. (Psalm 112:5)), and this served to commend him to Rebekah's household. Some boys are very thoughtless and careless, and would never be industrious workers. This will show up in little things, as it did here, if we observe. True love is not blind. It is a great thing to act before marriage what we intend to be afterward—deception will not get a young person (or anyone else) any real happiness in the end.
When the supper had been prepared then the servant said he would like to tell his errand before eating. He did not want to give any wrong impression. In this day when many boys and girls go together thoughtlessly, wrong impressions are often given and hearts are broken, perhaps quite unintentionally. Let us be careful not to give such impressions, but speak clearly what is on one's mind, when called to, like the servant here. It is a serious thing to trifle with another's affections, especially a young girl, and on the other hand it is a good thing to learn to be careful not to take things for granted that were never said or intended. Often an act of Christian kindness is mistaken for the start of a friendship. While using care that we do not become forward, always practicing modesty and self control, let us learn to accept acts of kindness from others, whether a boy or a girl, without getting mistaken ideas. We would, however, warn here that to go together "just for fun" is a mistake, and those who play with their affections in this way seldom know when the "right one" does come.
The servant now tells all about his master and Isaac. He told of how Isaac had enough to provide for the new responsibility he was considering taking on in marriage. This leads one to question the wisdom of a young man taking on the responsibilities of married life until settled in some line of work, or otherwise able to provide for his bride in the home they set up. It is his responsibility. "If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Tim. 5:88But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8). The servant then told the whole story of the "courtship", if we might use this word here. Happy it is when a young man can tell, if necessary, all the things that took place during those days. If we are walking with God we will surely be able to do so.
May the Lord keep the feet of our dear young people in these difficult days, for the Word of God says, "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool." Prov. 28:2626He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26).
After telling all, the servant asked for a definite decision and the approval of the parents. It is nice to see here how they were impressed with the straightforwardness of the young man, and acknowledged that "the thing proceedeth from the Lord." It is a fine thing, dear young people, to look to the Lord to make such things clear to your parents. Many a young person has ruined his or her life by refusing to take heed to the warnings of parents, and has married someone who was not the "right one." I believe I can say that while it is your decision, young people, to be made before the Lord (who must always come first), yet He will make your parents feel that "the thing proceedeth from the Lord", if you prayerfully seek His mind in this. Be patient and wait if they do not see it at first, for the Lord is the disposer of hearts, even your parents' hearts, as He was here in our chapter. If they see you are really seeking to please the Lord, it will commend itself to their consciences in the sight of God. Waiting for the Lord to make it clear to them, if necessary, will repay you well, for patience is a necessary Christian grace at all times, both before and after marriage. While these remarks refer primarily to those who have Christian parents, the principle applies in a general way to all. Even though unbelieving parents would not choose a believing partner for their believing child, they nevertheless seek their children's happiness, and will usually recognize a nice straightforward boy or girl.
When Bethuel, Rebekah's father, had given his consent, then Abraham's servant worshipped the Lord again. He truly sought to acknowledge the Lord in all his ways and was directed of Him.
At this point it is nice to notice the kindness of this man to Rebekah's brother and mother, as well as to her, shown in the gifts he gave them. This is an important consideration for any young girl. A young man who does not show respect and kindness to her relatives (and she to his) will only bring trouble instead of happiness into her life.
Rebekah's parents now seek to detain her at home for a little while. Sometimes the lives of young people have been spoiled by the parents interfering in this way. Even though they see that the Lord has provided their child's partner, as here, and that the young man is able to provide as Isaac was, they just do not want to part with their boy or girl. This is a great mistake, for if the boy or girl is old enough, it is their decision, as it was Rebekah's here. Wise parents will acknowledge this and let the boy or girl decide. Rebekah decided -she said, "I will go."
Then the privilege and responsibility of motherhood was laid before Rebekah by her own mother. For a girl to enter marriage thoughtless of this, postponing or not intending to assume such a responsibility is, one feels, contrary to the whole teaching of Scripture in connection with married life. It is, alas, all too common today, but the Word of God says, "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Tim. 5:1414I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (1 Timothy 5:14). Let us follow the wisdom of God in our lives.
If we might compare the time that follows in our story to the time between engagement and marriage, we believe we can learn an important lesson. Isaac went out by the well Lahairoi to meditate at eventide. Lahairoi means "Him that liveth and seeth," and surely this has a helpful application to us. It is in the evenings when boys and girls usually get together, and if each boy would be like Isaac here and meditate upon the fact that there is One who lives and sees, perhaps many evenings would be spent in a more helpful way.
We notice here that when Rebekah saw Isaac she took a veil and covered herself. If we connect this with 1 Cor. 11 we see that a woman's hair is given her for a covering (or veil), and that it is a sign of her taking the place of submission to her husband. We also read in Eph. 5:33But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Ephesians 5:3)2 That the wife is to "reverence her husband". This is an important matter. A Christian girl ought not to marry a young man, even though a Christian, whom she does not feel she can reverence. Some Christian young men are not walking in the fear of God, and a godly girl would not be attracted to any such, for she realizes that it is her responsibility before God, when married, to "reverence her husband." The first time Isaac saw Rebekah she was veiled, and thus showed the sign of submission. What a happy thing it would be if the Christian young men witnessed more of that submission today, for long hair is the sign of it, according to the Word of God! Godly young men will look for this, if walking in "the wisdom that is from above." James 3:1717But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17).
At last the waiting time was ended and the marriage took place. Oh dear young people, may the Lord keep you in His fear, all through those courtship days. In these days when the morals of the world are going to pieces everywhere, and when even Christians seem to forget God's instructions in His Word about modesty and proper apparel (1 Tim. 2:99In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; (1 Timothy 2:9), Deut. 22:55The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God. (Deuteronomy 22:5).), there is a special need of watchfulness so that you may enjoy one another's company in a godly way. That often forgotten verse in 1 Cor. 7:11Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (1 Corinthians 7:1); "It is good for a man not to touch a woman," is the wisdom of God for all who have ears to hear. And so now we read here that Isaac "took Rebekah and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted." To have a home of love and comfort, being "heirs together of the grace of life," 1 Peter 3:77Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7), is surely what each young person would desire who enters the marriage relationship, and the Lord delights to grant it to those who wait upon Him.
Before drawing these brief remarks to a close, may I remind you of that verse, "Keep thy heart more than anything that is guarded; for out of it are the issues of life." Prov. 4:2323Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23) (J.N.D.) Let us watch our affections and always keep them within the channels of God's precious Word. If there should be anyone contemplating marrying an unbeliever, may we warn you again that it is direct disobedience to God's Word which says "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." 2 Cor. 6:1414Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14). Indeed you should make sure that your friend is truly saved before going out together at all, for too often "courtship conversions" do not stand the test. How sad to find out afterward, as many have, that their life partner was not a true child of God at all. What a sorrow it is, only those who are thus linked up for life can tell!
It is striking to notice how often the marriage and home relationships are brought before us in the New Testament. They are introduced in I Corinthians where we have assembly order. Again in Ephesians where marriage is given as typifying Christ and His Church—His bride. We find these matters again spoken of in Colossians, where the believer is looked at as dead and risen with Christ, and where He is our life, as well as in Timothy and Titus where we are instructed as to those suited for office in the local assembly. Last of all they are brought before us in Peter's first epistle where we have God's grace and government. We cannot separate our home life from our assembly life, nor can we escape the government of God connected with it. A mistaken marriage will affect every sphere of your life, and a happy one will help you in every sphere. 0 dear young people, ponder it well! Even though God is the God of all grace, greater than all our failures and shortcomings, and even though He has promised never to leave nor forsake us, we cannot escape His government in our lives.
May the Lord be pleased to use these few remarks for His glory and the blessing of the dear lambs of the flock of God in this great and momentous decision, "Whom shall I marry?" Those who follow the wisdom of God's precious Word in communion and dependence upon Him will not go wrong, but those who choose to follow their own wisdom and go their own way can only expect sorrow. It is the Lord's desire to bless you, dear young reader, and He wants you to reap true happiness, for "the blessing of the Lord it maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it." Prov. 10:2222The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. (Proverbs 10:22).
G.H.H.
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