“For ever! what a volume lies
Within these simple words alone;
How we regret, how dearly prize
What once was trifling in our eyes,
When 'tis for ever flown."
If this is true of earthly trifles, how terribly true of eternal realities? It is said of those, who have been drowning, that their life history, like a panorama, flashes before the vision in a few brief moments, often filling the soul with terror. Such terror and anguish tore the inmost being of T. N. as he was brought face to face with that most agonizing picture—a wasted life.
There had been nothing very black, as men say, in his career. He was neither a thief nor a murderer. He had done what thousands of others are doing, frittering away existence, leaving God and eternity out of the reckoning. He had known, but had willingly forgotten, that the "wicked shall be cast into hell, with all the nations that forget God." Living thus for sixty-two long years, he was at length compelled to face the realities of eternity, with its tremendous issues. An affection in the throat, which baffled the skill of the surgeons and physicians, left nought to be looked for here but a lingering, painful death from starvation.
I had seen him three years before, and had spoken to him of present grace and future judgment, but a careless word about putting such matters off to "a more convenient season" was his only response.
After this, a distance of zoo miles between us prevented personal intercourse, but messages of the gospel were often sent to him by post. "Is this God's answer? Is this the way the prodigal is to be brought to the Father?" I asked myself, when I heard of his sad illness.
I longed to be a messenger to him, and God graciously opened the way. Once again we found ourselves conversing together on grace and judgment;— the grace of God that first brings salvation, and then teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts; the judgment already pronounced, and soon to be finally executed, on all that “obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Would that the careless spendthrift of precious opportunities could have seen the unutterable anguish that filled T. N. as he sat reviewing his past history!
He gasped out a few words, the burden of which was, "Ah! I have been a fool, I have wasted my life.”
I saw that the Holy Ghost was convicting him of sin; and desired to see those convictions deepen. As God's messenger, I felt that if I were to "Show unto man his uprightness," it must be in God's way, by leading him to say, "I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not." The very depth of his moral being must be exposed before God; and he must, in common with everyone who is born of God, repent, condemn himself, and justify God.
After several interviews, I was compelled to leave him in much the same condition. Days and weeks rolled on, and the pain of body was exceeded only by the anguish of soul. He was now solemnly alive to his state before God, and his cry was, "Lord, be merciful to me a sinner." He was in the right way to get blessing now, for a repentant sinner is the very one to hear God's message, "Deliver him from going down to the pit, I have found a ransom.”
Imagine my joy then, and rejoice with me, fellow-worker, at the contents of the following note from a near relative.
“On calling last night to see T. N., I thought his usually sad expression wonderfully brightened, and could not help speaking to him of the change, Thank God,' said he, I have a hope now; last Wednesday night I was lying awake hour after hour, praying to the Lord to let me know if I was saved, and He answered my cry, and since then I can do nothing but praise and bless the Lord, I am so happy. I am willing to live or die, whichever the Lord pleases.'
“You would be surprised to hear him talk," my friend continued; "He says that he is so full of joy that he does not now feel the need of food, even if he could take it.”
The few more weeks which rolled by were spent in prayer and praise, and in thoughts of the blessing of having a Saviour, a Father and a Friend, to welcome him to an eternal home. His soul was filled with joyful amazement that he should be thus plucked as a brand from the burning. He gathered his children round his bed to warn them not to follow his example, and live wasted lives, but in their early years to repent, and believe the gospel.
At length the ransomed spirit left the suffering wasted body. He awaits, in sure and certain hope, the glorious resurrection morn, when the graves will yield up their dead, and the dust of ages start into life. Then his corruptible body will be raised in incorruption, made like unto the glorious body of Jesus, his Saviour and Deliverer. H. N.