The Mystery of Sorrow.
AND there were often those who came in sore trouble to her whom they called Mother Julian, for it was a time when many of those who read the Word of God, and believed His Gospel, were despised and defamed. And there were also times of great sorrow and sadness, when the pestilence had broken out in Norwich, and many were bereft of those they loved most, and some were left alone and desolate. And they sometimes marveled whether God indeed loved them and cared for them, for it seemed as though His mercy and pity were turned away from them.
And Julian spoke tenderly to these sorrowing people, and comforted them with the words of Christ.
“It is herewith,” she said, “that He shows to us His blessed might, His blessed wisdom, His blessed love; that He keepeth us in this time of sorrow as tenderly and sweetly to His praise and honor, and as securely as to our salvation, as He doth when we be in most solace and comfort. He turneth all to His worship, and to our joy without end. For His precious love, He suffereth us never to lose time, since all things turn to our greater good. God is kind in His being; that is to say, that goodness that is kind, it is God. He it is who is kindness. And one day shall the things created which groan and travail, be restored and brought back to His joy, by the salvation of man, through the working of His grace.
“Here may we see that we be all bound to God for nature, and we be bound to God for grace. And it needeth not that we should seek far out, hither and thither, but to enter as it were into our own soul, where our Lord dwelleth, and where He dwelleth is His Holy Church.
“But let no man or woman take this as a singular honor to himself or to herself, for it is not so; it is that the fair nature of Christ is in those He has saved, and in Him it is ours. And it is of this nature to hate sin. For nature is all good and fair in itself; but when men had fallen, grace was sent out to save nature and destroy sin, and bring again fair nature to the blessed point from whence it came, that is God, with more nobleness and worship, by the mighty working of grace.
“And this redeemed nature shall be seen before God, in all His holy people; a nature that hath been proved in the fire of tribulation, and therein found no lack, nor no default.
“Thus is nature and grace of one accord, for God is two in manner and working, and one in love. And when we by the mercy of God have been accorded” [attuned] “to this nature and to grace, we shall see verity that sin is worse viler. and painfullor then hell, without any comparison, for it is contrarious to our fair nature; for as verily as sin is unclean, as truly is sin unnatural.
“But our Lord besprinkleth us one by one in His precious Blood, and maketh our soul full soft and mild; and of this sweet fair working He shall never ease nor stint, till all His dearworthy children be brought forth and born. It was in His blessed dying upon the cross that He bare us to endless life. And from that time, and now and ever, unto doomsday, He feedeth us and foddereth us as the high sovereign kindness of motherhood will feed her children, and as the natural need of childhood asketh.
“And is not Jesus fair and lovely in the sight of our soul, as the mother to the child? and precious and lovely be the gracious children in the sight of Jesus. And naturally the child despaireth not of the mother’s love; naturally the child loveth the mother, and the mother the child.
“And so yet more is it with the soul and the Lord Jesus. Ah I there is none higher stature in this life than childhood, in feebleness, and failing of might and of wit, until the time that the Lord hath brought us up, and we enter into the Father’s bliss.
“And when we shall be taken suddenly out of pain into bliss, then pain shall be naught.
“For thus it seems to me as it were in a picture, as though I saw a body lying on the earth, heavy and fearful, and without shape and form. And suddenly out of this body sprang a full fair creature, a little child of shapely form, swift and lively, and whiter than the lily, which sharply glided up to Heaven. Thus from out of the wretchedness of mortal flesh ariseth to Heaven the soul pure, and fair, and clean. And I thought with this body remaineth no fairness of the child, nor on this child dwelleth no foulness of this body.
“It is full blissful for man to be taken from pain, more than for pain to be taken from man; for if pain be taken from us, it may come again. Therefore this is a sovereign comfort, and a blissful beholding in a longing soul; it is a promise of merciful compassion that our Lord hath for us in our woe, and an assurance of clear deliverance, for He willeth that we be comforted in the overpassing joy.
“‘Thou shalt come up above,’ He saith, ‘and thou shalt have Me to thy reward, and thou shalt be fulfilled with gladsome joy.’
“It is God’s will that we take His promises and His comforting’s as largely and as mightily as we may take them. And also He willeth that we take our sorrows of the wilderness as lightly as we may take thorn, feeling less the pain because of the love.
“And it is God’s will that I see myself as much bound to him in love as if He had done for me all that He hath done for all. For the love of God maketh in us such a unity, that when it is truly seen, no redeemed man can part himself from other. And it is His will we know that all the might of our enemies is locked in our Friend’s hands. And therefore the soul that is assured of this, she shall fear naught but Him that she loveth.
“But oftentimes is our spiritual eye so blind, and we so borne down with weight of our mortal flesh or bodily pain, or darkness of sin, that we may not see our Lord God clearly in His blissful Countenance; and scarce can we believe or trow His great love and faithfulness in keeping us. And thus we mourn and weep at times—which weeping meaneth not all in pouring out of tears by our bodily eye, but a weeping and bitterness of the soul.
“For the natural desire of our soul is so great and so unmeasurable, that if there were given us to our joy and our comfort all the nobleness that ever God made in Heaven and in earth, and we saw not the fair blissful countenance of Himself, yet should we never leave mourning nor weeping of the spirit. And if we were in all the pain that heart may think, or tongue may tell, and we might in that time see His blissful Countenance, all this pain would be to us as naught.
“And it is this blissful sight that shall be the end of all manner of pain to loving souls, and the fullness of all manner of joy and delight. For truly it hath been to me, as if in my understanding I was lifted up to Heaven, where I saw our Lord God, as a lord in His own house, which lord hath called all His dear-worthy servants to a solemn feast. And I saw Him royally reign in His house, filling it with joy and mirth, eternally to glad and solace His friends, full homely and tenderly, with marvelous melody in eternal love, the love of His own fair blissful countenance, which filleth all Heaven with joy and bliss.
“And then said He right lovingly, ‘I thank thee of thy service, and of the travail of thy youth.’
“And thus hath He made us so noble and so rich, that eternally we shall work His will and worship.
“Where I say ‘we,’ it meaneth those who are saved. And not only shall we then receive the same bliss that souls aforetimes have had in Heaven, but also we shall receive a new bliss, which plenteously shall fly out of God into us, and fill us with the fullness of joy. And this fullness of bliss shall be so deep and so high, that it shall be a wonder and a marvel to all the creatures of God, who beholding it shall be filled with a reverence and an awe beyond all that hath been seen or felt.
“For it shall be an awful joy, before which the pillars of Heaven shall tremble and quake. But this manner of trembling and of dread shall have no pain, for it belongeth to the worthy Majesty of God thus to be beholden of His creatures, who shall eternally marvel at His greatness, and in meekness worship before Him.
“For as good as God is, so great is He; and as much as it belongeth to His Godhead to be loved, so much it belongeth to His greatness to be dreaded. And this reverent dread is the fairest worship that is in Heaven before God’s Face. And as much as He, shall be known and loved overpassing that He is now, in so much He shall be dreaded overpassing that He is now.
“I speak but little of this reverent dread. But well I wot that our Lord has showed me no souls who love Him, but those who dread Him; and well I wot the soul that truly taketh the teaching of the Holy Ghost, it hateth sin more for the vileness and horribleness of it, than it doth all the pain that is in hell. Sin is hell, as to my sight.
“And the soul that will be in rest when other men’s sins come to mind, he should flee it as the pain of hell, seeking unto God for help against this darkening of the soul. For the beholding of other men’s sin, it maketh as it were a thick mist before the spiritual eyes. And we may not in this mist see the fairness of God, unless we can behold the sins of other men with contrition with them, with compassion on them, and with holy desire to God for them.
“And also, on the contrary, the enemy seeketh to make us so heavy and sorry in beholding of sin, in ourselves and other men, that we should let out of mind the blissful beholding of our Everlasting Friend. And this is the remedy, that when we know our wretchedness, we should fly to our Lord, Forever the more in need we be, the more profitable it is to us to touch Him. And it is a full lovely meekness of soul when we willingly and gladly take the scourging and the chastising that our Lord Himself will give us.”
“And is it not pleasing also to Him that we should scourge and chastise ourselves in penance for our sins?”
“As to that penance that man taketh upon himself, the Lord hath showed me naught; but He showed me that we should meekly and patiently bear and suffer that penance that God Himself giveth us, remembering His blessed sufferings, And in His pity He saith to our hearts, ‘Accuse not thyself that thy tribulation and thy woe is all thy fault, for I will not that thou be heavy nor sorrowful indiscreetly—for I tell thee, howsoever thou shalt do, thou shalt have sorrow here below.’
“The remedy is that our Lord is with us, keeping us, and leading us into fullness of joy. He that shall be our bliss when we are there, He is our keeper while we are here, our way, and our Heaven. Truly, when He showed me His Passion, He made me mightily choose Him for my Heaven and my eternal joy.
“Flee we to our Lord, and we shall be comforted; touch Him, and we shall be made clean; cleave we to Him, and we shall be secure and safe in all manner of peril. For our gracious Lord willeth we be as homely with Him as heart may think, or soul may desire.
“But be we ware that we take not so recklessly this homely nearness to Him, as to leave reverence to His Sovereign Majesty. For our Lord is homely, as it were, with us, yet putteth He honor upon us; and the blessed creatures that shall be in Heaven with Him without end, He will have to be like Himself in all things. And to be like to our Lord perfectly, it is our very salvation and our true blessedness.
“And if we wot not how we shall do all that is according to His mind, ask we of Him to learn us, and He will do so. And the meek dread we have of Him shall save us from presumption; and in the blessed showing of His love we shall have matter of comfort and joy that shall save us from despair.
“He willeth that we see our wretchedness, but He willeth not that we abide therewith, nor busy ourselves greatly about our accusing of ourselves; nor willeth He that we be too wretched in beholding ourselves, but that we look up to Him.
“For it is as if He stood all alone, abiding in His patience with the desire of love till we all come to Him. And He hath haste to have us to Him, for we are His joy and His delight, and He is the salve of our life. When I say He standeth alone, I leave the speaking of the blessed company in Heaven, and speak only of His office, and His working here on earth.
“For alone hath Christ done all the great work that belongeth to our salvation, and none but He. And right so He alone is all for us in the time that now is; He dwelleth in us, and ruleth us, and guideth us, and bringeth us to His bliss―He only, and none other.
“And thus shall He do as long as any soul is in earth that shall come to Heaven-and so far forth, that if there were none such soul in earth but one, He should be with that soul all alone, till He had brought it up to His bliss.”
“But should we betake ourselves to none other than to Him? Are there not the saints and angels besides Him?”
“I believe and understand that the holy angels minister to us,” said Julian, “as the clerks tell us; but the Lord hath not showed me as to them―for Himself is nearest, and meekest, highest and lowest, and doth all.”