Repeating and reminding 3:1 "Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe.”
As a boy I often spent hours during the summertime riding my bike around our little town, or fishing in a river which was a few blocks from home. My dear parents repeatedly warned me to be careful. They set specific times when I was to be home. Much to my annoyance, they frequently repeated these directions and warnings. Sometimes, coupled with the constant warnings and reminders there was a reward given—used as an encouragement when I had listened and obeyed.
Great wisdom (James 1:55If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5)) is needed for parents to know when to faithfully remind children of their instructions and warnings, and when to refrain from further remonstrance as seen in Acts 21:1414And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased, saying, The will of the Lord be done. (Acts 21:14)-"And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased, saying, The will of the Lord be done.”
However, let us never forget that Satan ever seeks to lull Christian parents into accepting as a normal part of growing up, children's impatience at such "reminders". Such a spirit displayed in children should not be considered normal and certainly not of God. While it requires much prayerful communion with the Lord to know when it is a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. (Ecc. 3:7), reminding our children of that good way wherein they should walk (1 Kings 8:3636Then hear thou in heaven, and forgive the sin of thy servants, and of thy people Israel, that thou teach them the good way wherein they should walk, and give rain upon thy land, which thou hast given to thy people for an inheritance. (1 Kings 8:36)) is ever safe for them, and ought never be rendered in a tedious way.
A spirit of joy in the Lord insures that loving, gentle, and constant parental reminders to children will not seem to them as unnecessary, tedious or delivered in a berating spirit.
The Voice of Children's Peers
Satan, always withstanding the truth of God, constantly tries to get children to throw out their parents' instruction. He often uses peer pressure telling them that their parents' concerns and instructions are outmoded. We often hear something like, "your dad and mom just don't understand what life is all about—they're old fashioned and out of touch with reality". In order to neutralize such false teaching, parents must practically apply Divine principles of Scripture to current moral conditions of this world. Seek the Lord's help to gain an understanding of the times. (see James 1:55If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5)). And be sure to let all—even when demanding obedience—be done in the loving, beseeching spirit of Prov. 4:1010Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many. (Proverbs 4:10)—"Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many."
The Voice of Music
The enemy will also constantly entice children to tune out parental instruction through music. The amount and variety of this world's music available on radio, MTV, as well as CD players is incredible. It often has a mesmerizing effect on listeners and through it, Satan has an easy, effective channel by which to send his wicked messages.
The most startling display of this principle is seen in the history of Nebuchadnezzar, who set a golden idol (probably of himself) that was to be worshipped by all in his kingdom. The stimulus used to initiate this idolatrous worship was "... at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and all kinds of music," (Dan. 3:55That at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and all kinds of music, ye fall down and worship the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king hath set up: (Daniel 3:5)).
While music may be used (and enjoyed) for real blessing and in praising the Lord, (1 Sam. 1:66And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the Lord had shut up her womb. (1 Samuel 1:6), 2 Kings 3:1515But now bring me a minstrel. And it came to pass, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him. (2 Kings 3:15), Eph. 5:1919Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; (Ephesians 5:19)), always remember that this world's music was created after Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, in order to make him happy in his willing separation from God (Gen. 4:2121And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ. (Genesis 4:21)).
The Voice of Technology
Satan can also use the exciting, ever-changing science and technology of our day to cause children to drown out parental guidance. Man, in alienation from God, is ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth (2 Tim. 3:77Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:7)). This is true in natural as well as spiritual things. Almost on a daily basis, old technology—once considered brilliant—is discarded in favor of that which is new. Children's hearts (indeed, all of us!) can easily become caught up in all the excitement of this constant development and change.
Of course, technology used to alleviate suffering and improve living conditions through medicine, communications, industry, agriculture, etc. ought to be a cause of heartfelt thanksgiving to God. Comparatively few humans however, can adequately keep abreast of all these developments. And sadly, we see the increasing use of technology for ungodly purposes. Man continues to display that he is wholly unable to morally control the very technologies he has created.
When an unbalanced and unrestrained passion for technology is allowed (or unwisely over-encouraged), communication between parents and children may become virtually impossible.
Warnings Always, Explanations...Sometimes
v 2, 3 "Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision. For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.”
Having gained the ear of children, parents have a wonderful opportunity to warn as well as remind them of the reasons for their instructions. While children's obedience to parents never depends on giving reasons for obeying, there are times—such as Paul uses here with the Philippians—when reminders and reasons are important. He tells them to beware and then he explains why. When Jehovah commanded obedience from His people, the reasons and consequences are often given to them—but not always.
We see the proper moral order of this illustrated in the life of Joseph in Gen. 37:13,1413And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I. 14And he said to him, Go, I pray thee, see whether it be well with thy brethren, and well with the flocks; and bring me word again. So he sent him out of the vale of Hebron, and he came to Shechem. (Genesis 37:13‑14). "And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I. And he said to him, Go, I pray thee, see whether it be well with thy brethren, and well with the flocks; and bring me word again.”
When Jacob requires obedience of Joseph, he gives no reason nor does Joseph request one. Their communications are beautiful and simple—"come and I will send thee", the response, "Here am I”. It is after Joseph's unquestioned submission to his father's request, that Jacob then explains the reason for his request.
These principles are seen in perfection when God commands Abraham to offer up his Isaac. Not one word of explanation does God give (or does Abraham require). Afterward, when Abraham has fully submitted, having been restrained from sacrificing Isaac, God then explains His reasons for why He had so commanded Abraham.
Eph. 6:1-31Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1‑3) (JND) presents the principle in Divine clarity. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord"—unquestioned obedience is required. "for this is just"—the reason for obedience (righteousness before God) is given. "Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest be long-lived on the earth."—the happy results of obedience are presented after the responsibility to obey is commanded.
An Infinitely Better Prize
v 7, 8 "But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that 1 may win Christ,”
Though Paul had much to glory in as a Jew, he had learned that Christ was not only the object and pattern for his life, but the supreme prize to be gained in life. All that might naturally be valued in this life, was to him worthless in comparison to the incomparable Christ. It is good for children to learn early that nothing in life is equal to Christ. But remember it is children that are learning that lesson and learning this critically important lesson will take time, even as it did with Paul (and with those who are parents). "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child..." (1 Cor. 13:1111When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11)).
Children will best learn that nothing can serve as a substitute for the Lord Jesus, if they see that nothing displaces Him in their parent's life. "That we henceforth be no more children,...But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:" (Eph. 4:14,1514That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: (Ephesians 4:14‑15)).
The Importance of Taking—and of Giving
Teaching children to value Christ above all else, requires that at times parents will have to deny certain things—activities, entertainments, toys, etc.—to them. When this happens, it is vital that those things are replaced with something better.
It is wonderful when parents desire to replace the world in their children's hearts with Christ. But make sure it is the world and not nature that you are seeking to replace. God has created man as a three part being—spirit, soul and body (1 Thess. 5:2323And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thessalonians 5:23)). Parents must not fail to minister to the needs of their children in each of these spheres. For example, enjoying family Bible readings is of the spiritual, loving children and teaching them to love, is of the soul, while enjoying activities, games and hobbies with them is of the body.
The book of Hebrews illustrates this principle. In it, Jewish believers (and all believers) were taught that God was replacing all that they enjoyed in Judasim with that which was better by faith in Christ. If something is denied to children in order to draw their hearts to the Lord, but nothing better is given to replace it, the child will begin to look at Christianity as a negative, hard and empty path to follow.
Developing Their Abilities or Creating Weights
Everything that Paul gained in the flesh, in the privileged position as an Israelite, was of no value to him in gaining Christ. He found that all his developed abilities and privileged position were merely weights that held him back from gaining the supreme Reward and Goal in his life.
While children's abilities and talents must not be over-looked, neither should parents allow them to be over-emphasized. Sometimes, parental pride unwisely encourages children to develop God given talents in ways which can only benefit the world. A dear brother used to say in reference to how such abilities and talents were used: "Is it a wing or a weight?”
Aholiab and Bezaleel were cunning engravers and embroiderers. David was a cunning player on the harp, Hiram a cunning worker in brass, Daniel and his three friends were cunning in knowledge. All of these had special talents and abilities that were used to serve God and His people. The Bible has many other examples of those whose special abilities were used for the Lord's glory. Parents do well to spend time prayerfully and carefully encouraging those abilities in their children which may used in service for the Lord and blessing to His assembly.
The Real Goal Is Not Found in This World
As parents seek to guide and direct children it is vital to place before them a proper goal and prize. But the reward and goal of Christian life—Christ in glory—is not found in the horizon of this world. Its promises of prosperity, prominence, security, etc. have no value as motivation for walking the path of faith. The world urges each one to pursue a calling—one which will satisfy the individual and benefit the world. Christians have an infinitely more precious and glorious calling—one which parents must embrace for themselves, before seeking to direct their children to pursue that blessed calling.
A Proper Perspective
v 13 "Brethren, 1 count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,”
Poor Lot's wife! She did not want to forget the things that were behind. She turned back from the path of faith to what her heart really craved, and lost everything including her life. How vital that children's hearts be guarded from becoming attached to this world! Otherwise, having begun to put their hand to the plow, the time will come when children will look back on that which they have never really left in heart. It is easy to quote 1 Tim. 6:77For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. (1 Timothy 6:7), "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."—far more difficult to live it and teach it to our children. The pilgrim spirit is vital!
Standards That Don't Change
v 16 "Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.”
Setting proper Christian standards according to the Word of God is crucial for children. However, once those standards have been set, be careful that you not allow them to be changed to accommodate the ways and morals of a changing world. Doing so will surely teach children that popularity, position, wealth, convenience—whatever man determines is right in his eyes—are all appropriate reasons to change Divine standards found in the Word of God.
No Favoritism
Parents who show special deference to one child over others, are working ruin in their family. Consider the solemn record given of Isaac and Rebekah in Gen. 25:2828And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob. (Genesis 25:28): "And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of [his] venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob." What ruin, unhappiness, and even hatred such unwise favoritism shown by a father and a mother brought into this dear family! Sometimes one child's qualities or temperment may be especially endearing to one or both parents. But each child is unique and should be nurtured and disciplined in unfeigned love. Parents must use equal weights and balances in dealing with children, remembering that each child of God is loved with a Divine, unchanging and infinite personal love.
Being an Example
v 17 "Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.”
The importance and lasting effects of parental example are beyond measure. As mentioned earlier, the world has role models to present to children—but they are godless, corrupt, immoral or violent. Remember, dad and mom, you are role models for your children. The companions your children choose for life will be influenced—positively or negatively—by the examples you have set for them.
Warning Without Gossiping
v 18, 19 "(For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)”
If parents display a critical spirit towards others, as well as a gossiping tongue about the shortcomings of their brethren, terrible damage to the tender hearts of children will result. On the other hand, parents do need to be clear and open concerning those habits and manners of life that are not pleasing to the Lord. The spirit in which this is done is of all importance. Paul wept for the dishonor done to the name of Christ, even as he warned his beloved Philippian children of these enemies.
It's Going to Get Better
v 20, 21 "For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself”
The world teaches that this life is "all there is". Nothing that holds the promise of fleeting carnal pleasures is forbidden. "Indulge!", it cries, "for tomorrow we die". Parents! diligently teach your children from early years that this is not the end—there is something far more wonderful and glorious coming and that our lives ought to be lived in view of coming day.
Man's indulgent, humanistic philosophies which constantly encourage the search for self gratification all are marked by one chief demand—NOW! He demands satisfaction at the push of a button, refusing to think of the future, willing to trade eternity for present, immediate pleasure. While the world fills children's minds with fiction, fantasy and fairy tales promising immediate pleasure and endless futures, Christian parents, mindful that all in this scene will pass away (Matt. 24:3535Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. (Matthew 24:35)), must order the home environment according to that coming day when all will be like and pleasing to the Lord Jesus. How vital that our lambs learn that giving up in this world to gain in the one to come, is the truly happy and blessed path.