The little girl’s family had recently moved to a new location. Excited about being with “new friends,” at the close of a midweek Bible study she eagerly headed towards a group of girls. Rather than a welcoming “hi,” the first comment that greeted her was, “You can only play with us if you have a doll.” She didn’t have a doll.
It’s easy to imagine how she felt.
Not long before this, a young person, fourteen years of age and from a small assembly, was looking forward to enjoying fellowship with other boys during a three-day Bible conference. After one meeting he approached a group of young people. Seeing him coming, one of the boys turned to him, asking how old he was. He told them, prompting this curt response: “This group is only for 13year-olds!”
It’s easy to imagine how he felt.
How do we feel?
Should we pass off such conduct as mere normal social immaturity an expected part of childhood?
No. It’s not “normal” for Christian children.
How Did They Learn?
Where do kids those raised in Christian homes learn to use frivolous standards such as possessions or age as requirements for extending their fellowship to other Christians?
Where do they learn to use any standards other than “righteousness, faith, charity, peace” to guide their contacts and friendships?
How do they come to accept any criteria other than “with them who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” as the basis for forming associations?
Who taught them that feelings and actions can be based on some commandment or pattern other than “love one another, as I have loved you”?
The Power of Examples
While we don’t expect children to display deep spiritual maturity, we ought to recognize that they, like lambs, will follow the example set by sheep. Thus, the most pressing question is, What kind of examples regarding Christian fellowship do we, by our actions towards others, provide for our young?
It’s by watching the behavior of parents and older brethren that children quickly, effectively learn whether possessions, careers, levels of spirituality, or any other objects are to be allowed to displace Biblical principles as guidelines for fellowship.
We Need Each Other
Most of our readers are well acquainted with the subject of 1 Corinthians 12 The body of Christ of which each believer in the Lord Jesus is a member. Let us hear the Word of God concerning our need of each other. “The eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.... That there should be no schism [division] in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another” (1 Cor. 12:21,2521And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. (1 Corinthians 12:21)
25That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. (1 Corinthians 12:25)).
Are Christian children too young to learn these principles? No, they aren’t. But they must see them acted on in the lives of adult believers. No believer (young or old) is a more precious or more important member of the body of Christ than another. In the right and important desire to walk in holiness (1 Thess. 4:77For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. (1 Thessalonians 4:7); Heb. 12:1414Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: (Hebrews 12:14)), let us take care not to erect such impenetrable walls of separation that sweet, needed fellowship with other members of the body of Christ is no longer desired or possible to enjoy.
These are the final, dark days of professing Christianity, when the spirit of apostasy is already working its harmful influence and the “love of many” has become cold (Matt. 24:1212And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. (Matthew 24:12)). It is a time when it is vitally important to stir up the “love of God... shed abroad in our hearts” (Rom. 5:55And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. (Romans 5:5)). But we must, individually and collectively, return to that spirit of first love for Christ before there can be true “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:33Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:3)) with our brethren.
Fellowship Is Not Compromise
We most certainly are not suggesting that to enjoy fellowship we should overlook what dishonors Christ. Disregard for the person and glory of our blessed Saviour in no way characterizes first love for Himself. Godly separation from evil is clearly taught throughout Scripture. “Come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord” (2 Cor. 6:1717Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, (2 Corinthians 6:17)). Love delights to obey His commands.
Obviously, true Christian fellowship can never be enjoyed by compromising holiness and obedience to God’s Word. Certain solemn conditions require refusal to show fellowship with another member of the body of Christ. And disregard of these conditions is not a proof of love; it is a proof of indifference or, worse yet, a proof of open disobedience to Christ.
Obedience Is Not Complicated
Scriptural commands regulating fellowship with believers are simple for those who desire to obey.
“With such a one, no, not to eat” (a professed believer who continues in public sin) is so plain, it leaves no doubt about the question of fellowship.
A brother (or sister) walking disorderly is also to be left alone we are to withdraw from such (2 Thess. 3:66Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us. (2 Thessalonians 3:6)). However, let us remember that before we withdraw, we are taught in 1 Thessalonians 5:1414Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. (1 Thessalonians 5:14) (JND) that the disorderly is to first be admonished.
Likewise, those who cause divisions and “occasions of falling” among brethren (by actions or words) are to be avoided (Rom.16:17 JND).
Thus, the Word of God gives distinct directions concerning circumstances that require the denial of fellowship to other members of the body of Christ. However, there must be communion with the Father and submission to His Word in order to have discernment about when to apply these commands.
Willing to Spend?
But morally applying a “work of faith,” a “labor of love,” and an “enduring constancy of hope” (1 Thess. 1:3 JnD) is necessary in reaching out to those of “like precious faith” that fellowship with them as members of the body of Christ might be enjoyed.
A few days after the little girl was rebuffed because she didn’t have a doll, she went shopping. Allowed to select one thing she wanted, she chose a set of twin dolls. When asked why she needed two dolls, her beautiful and simple answer was, “So I can have a doll to play with, with the kids, and, if someone else wants to play who doesn’t have a doll, they can use my other one.”
She didn’t want others to feel the hurt and isolation she had felt from being refused fellowship.
Do we as brethren in Christ have a similar desire?
Are we willing to buy two dolls?
Worth the Cost
Though it will cost something (remember, love labors 1 Thess. 1:33Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God and our Father; (1 Thessalonians 1:3); Heb 6:1010For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love, which ye have showed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister. (Hebrews 6:10)), divine love will not find it difficult to discover ways to extend and enjoy fellowship with other believers. As “members one of another” (Eph. 4:2525Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. (Ephesians 4:25)), may it be our constant delight to seek every opportunity, whenever possible, to engage in fellowship one with another.
May we be like those in Acts 4:2323And being let go, they went to their own company, and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said unto them. (Acts 4:23) who, “being let go... went to their own company.” And may the deep longing of our hearts be that, rather than “forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the custom is with some,” we diligently look for every possible occasion to be found “encouraging one another, and by so much the more as ye see the day drawing near” (Heb. 10:2525Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25) JND).
Ed.