Gleanings from the Letters of JND - 204

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I have thought too of little fruit. I find that while specially happy in evangelizing, my heart ever turns to the church's being fit for Christ. My heart turns there. God knew, I suppose, that I was too weak and too cowardly for the other; but I reproach myself sometimes with want of love for souls, and above all, with want of courage, and love would give that-it always does; but in the consciousness of my shortcomings I leave all with Christ. He does after all what He pleases with us, though I do not seek to escape blaming myself through this; and if He is glorified I am heartily content with anything, save not to love Him. 466