I WAS what is commonly called, religiously trained, and at the age of eighteen, had a longing wish to be happy, like I saw some few, but could then see no one that could point me to the finished work of the Lord. I was often spoken to by others, but it was always, “Strive on, pray on, you will get the blessing someday.”
In 1851, at the age of twenty-five, I left England for Australia, and after a seventeen weeks' passage, thirteen of which I was ill in bed, I arrived—a stranger in a strange land—but God had mercy on me, and I soon recovered. In these days of trial, I said, “God is answering my father's prayers for me." I very soon got into a large way of business, and all went well for some years, then reverses came, and I left Victoria and went to New Zealand.
About fifteen years ago, I was in Wellington, and going down the street one evening, I heard singing in a small public room. Being attracted by it, I said I will see what these people are doing. I did so, and the singing being ended, an old gentleman took from his breast pocket a small Bible and said, “We will read the third of John together." I sat near the door, so that I could leave whenever it suited me, but there was a power in the reading of that word I had never felt before, so that my attention was riveted, and I could not move from the spot.
I may here say that I had been for years very anxious at times about my soul, and had shut myself up in my room, and prayed, and cried for hours, thinking I should get some special vision or feeling, so that I might know I was saved, but always came away disappointed. I always thought my disappointment was owing to my not being able to be sorry enough for my sins; I used to try hard to be sorry, but could never arrive at the point I wished. About this time I went to hear what is called a " Revival Preacher," known as" California Taylor." He preached as much truth as made me very miserable, so on the following day I sought an interview with him, thinking he would be sure to be able to set me right. I at once told him how wretched I was. He then asked me how long I had been like that, I told him for many years.
He then asked me what business I was in, I told him I was a brewer, and owned a brewery in the city. He then said, “You will never get peace till you give up the accursed thing. Go home and knock in the heads of all the casks, and let the accursed thing go down the gutter; then you will get peace, not till then." I went away like the young man in Matt. 19:2222But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. (Matthew 19:22), and for two or three days walked about not knowing what to do, not seeing my way clear as to knocking the casks to pieces. He called upon me in a few days to see if I had followed his instruction, and finding I had not, he left me to the hardness of my heart. I was in a measure prepared for loss and giving up, but not on so large a scale as that.
Now to return to the little room which I have mentioned. As the speaker read on and came to the 16th verse, " God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have everlasting life," I shall never forget the thoughts I had. It was the words, WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH, that so took hold of me, but still I thought this can't be all; so I said to myself this is some new sect sprung up, and they have got a Bible of their own, for if that is true, I ant saved, so at the close of the meeting I hurried away home as quick as possible, to see if it stated the same in my Bible.
The first thing I did was to get the word and look for myself, and as I read it, I said " Now I know I am saved, for God says so:" This is how God was pleased to use His own word, and that in a marvelous way. Without a word from any one, I saw it all. The Lord. Jesus had left nothing to do. He was the one lifted up, and I had only to look and live. To His blessed name and person be all the praise.
C. R. G.